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[MBTI General] INFX's-Direct with girls?

Willywallywoo

New member
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
20
MBTI Type
ENFP
Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to make this kind of thread.. but heeere we go.

I'm a girl in my late 20s, been in love many times.. but now I find myself in flames again after many years with a INFx. I am definatly sure he's a INFx- though for some reason he tested ISFP. Some words to describe him: Extremely intuitive and accurate, idealistic, passionate, has some dark sides.
He rather seems outgoing, but I could tell he was an introvert still.

He's been showing some seemingly ok-clear-enough signs of interest in me as well over the past 3 months (!! long time!), but due to few meetings (Busy -__-) and what not, it has not gotten anywhere yet. No dates, no nothing. Just implications of that we might like eachother (we're not youngsters either. Late twenties!)
So I don't know, would an INFx guy go right out and ask you out? Or would they be more reserved?
I'm trying to make sense why he can in one way be very flirtatious towards me, and take contact to chat and talk ALOT about things he's currently feel strongly about and tell me to read this and that , and talk about me to mutual friends. But no asking if we should just HANG OUT FFS! >_< lol
An example of how he flirts is, he was going to lend me a book.. last time we meet, he said "I forgot the book.. but we both agree its good i forgot the book.. then we got an excuse to meet again ;)" , and later on moved from his seat to jump in with my coach to lean towards me.

I fell for the "shows a lot of interest" but doesn't ask you out trick before, and like many others have read "The rules" and seen "hes just not that into you", and don't want to go overboard reading too much into anything as long as he has not taken things a step further.

So a little help to understand an either INFP or INFJ here.. would be of great help :p ( I suspect INFP might be his actual type.. but he just seems like a Ni user.. possibly an INFJ who adapted more INFP traits.. he has a certain INFjish feel to him)
 

ChildoftheProphets

New member
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
121
MBTI Type
INFP
I see two options here.

Either A) Flat out ask him what's up and verbally tell him how you feel

Or B) Don't hold back the next time you guys are flirting; push the intimacy until you physically show him how you feel.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Why don't you ask him? There's not really a set of "rules," it's purely individual how someone deals with emotions toward other people. He may like you, but may not have the guts to fess up to it. He may he waiting for a non awkward moment, etc. If you're curious and like him, just ask him; you take it a step further. Besides, if you like him, why let your happiness be in someone else's hands?
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
INFP is very unlikely to ask you out even if interested. INFJ is marginally more likely to do so, but not by a lot.

I'd go for it and make the first move yourself.
 

Willywallywoo

New member
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
20
MBTI Type
ENFP
I am actually planning on taking initiative really. I am just trying to make sure I am not putting a foot in my mouth :p
I'm guessing I'm being a coward worried about the whole rejection scenario!

The thing of it is, we talked some time ago (before we meet) over a dating site.. and he did ask me out then, but we never got to it due to circumstances.
We meet randomly later IRL, and that's when my interest was established.
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
The thing of it is, we talked some time ago (before we meet) over a dating site.. and he did ask me out then, but we never got to it due to circumstances.
We meet randomly later IRL, and that's when my interest was established.

Wow that seems like fate! :D


Anyway, if he's an INF, he probably will NEVER ask you out until he is VERY sure you like him (0% chance of rejection). My INFP and I were hanging out exclusively for at least six hours everyday for three months before he said he liked me. I guess you could try finding something for you both to do together without calling it an actual date (no pressure). Once he is comfortable enough and he is sure that you like him, he will make the move.
 

chris1207

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
467
MBTI Type
XNXX
Enneagram
3w2
I did this with an EXXP forever ( suspect that she's an ESTP.) Then, after 3 months I found out she has a BF.... Oh well, I can't compete with that pink-hair, skater hunk of a man....NOT. That being said, guys, especially NF's, don't like to ask girls directly. The fact is that you girls MUST have a BF at all times (WTF's up w that?!) You women feel like you aren't ppl w/o a BF and I'm not a big fan of stealing a girl away (Let's be honest here, I'm the Windows 7 to her BF's Vista :p)

Not only that, but you gotta figure he's been fucked around with by other girls. There are girls that'll flirt relentlessly and then when the subject of a relationship is approached, they go, "WTF are you talking about? I already have a BF! You should just back off!" You know what I like to do, though? I like to fuck with them! :) If they ask me why I haven't found a girl for myself, I like to tell them it's because I'm too busy being tired from some bitch fucking with my feelings. You'd have to be an idiot to be a woman and not be able to connect my dots. Women are taught their entire lives to have a very socially-conscious perspective.

Basically, these are awkward times for both genders and seeing as it's been 5 days since you're last post, I'm gonna assume that the two of you are enjoying hot NF on NF action and congratulate you :D

Grats :)
 
Joined
Mar 23, 2010
Messages
516
MBTI Type
Mann
I am an INFP and part of the way I express my feelings to people is through small, but very meaningful gifts. Such as a prized book, a song, a quote. They are all very personal and to show someone else feels like showing them a piece of who is inside. I am usually very careful for fear of my inner self being rejected. He probably feels the same way. If he does give you something like that take it as an expression of who he is. Once someone is established as trusted the small pieces of me keep flowing.
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Slap his butt and if he blushes and giggles, he likes you. Go for it!! ;)
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Never, ever let an INFP lead in a romantic cat and mouse game. If you think there is romantic possibility or more important you want there to be, make it hap'n cap'n! :p

My INFJ asked me out and made the first move after some stalling on both our parts. My other INFJ friend is very, very direct when it comes to dating and relationships.

But basically, go for it. His signs look good so you just need to tip the scales a little to a clear "yes" or "no".
 

paradox fox

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Messages
132
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
It takes me a long time to make up my mind about someone. But once my mind is made up, it is MADE UP. Then I'll be very straightforward with the person, very determined.

He may be making up his mind about you.
 
E

Epiphany

Guest
Wow that seems like fate! :D


Anyway, if he's an INF, he probably will NEVER ask you out until he is VERY sure you like him (0% chance of rejection). My INFP and I were hanging out exclusively for at least six hours everyday for three months before he said he liked me. I guess you could try finding something for you both to do together without calling it an actual date (no pressure). Once he is comfortable enough and he is sure that you like him, he will make the move.

Agreed. I won't directly ask a woman out unless I'm entirely convinced that she is interested in me and I'm entirely certain that I'm interested in her. There's a woman at my work who I am somewhat interested in sexually and intellectually, but not necessarily romantically. We've gone out for a few drinks here and there and went to see a movie, but I never officially asked her out on a date. Another woman, who I am more interested in, I have been less engaging with because there are fewer opportunities to convey interest and I'm not getting enough cues that she's interested, other than she thinks I'm cute.

Slap his butt and if he blushes and giggles, he likes you. Go for it!! ;)

There ya go... minus the blushing and giggling, it's sure to evoke a smile.
 
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