• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] ENFJs that have been hurt

Koocoomoo

New member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
127
MBTI Type
iNFp
Enneagram
4w3?
Tell your story.
Take advantage of the anonymity of the internet world.

--if u want to know why I want to know, u can ask.. AFTER u tell ur story.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,906
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Good luck with that.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
haha we could be here awhile koocoomoo.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
We are not going to fall for that. We dole out info on a need-to-know basis and even then we may spin the info to lead you down a certain train of thought (if we don't completely trust you). Are you crazy? LOL If an ENFJ seems open they either trust you or throwing out info that that could care less about. For me anyways, personal info=power. I'm not just going to give that power to just anyone.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
but it's teh internetz!!!!:girlfight:
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Oh, Jesus, people. Everyone acts as though getting hurt is something that only happens to a minority of people - it happens to everyone. If by 'power' you assume that people will know your weaknesses and use that against you, well, fuck, people probably already know and are just not telling you so that they can fuck you over anyway.

So what's the big deal. You get hurt. I get hurt. We all get hurt. Yayz. Victim society.

I'd reply, but I don't qualify (completely).
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
ENFJs like to prolong their hurt though unlike you and me there, ENFP. No one does post break-up purgatory like an ENFJ;)
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Sweet Jesus. For realz? :doh:

Well, I just look at it logically. What does it bring me if I wallow in pain? Either I vent it to others and free myself by sharing and then get OVER it, or I analyze it to learn from it or share it because I think others can profit from what I've gone through and learned.

Otherwise, who gives a rat's fat butt if you share your shit or not? Do these people think there is a governmental agency recording every ENFJ's hurt somewhere so that if they miss declaring 100 dollars of taxable income that they can be blackmailed for sharing their incredible hurt from some kind of child, spousal, or relationship abuse? Or getting screwed over by a former employer? What goes through these people's minds anyway?
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
I'm not quite sure. I've often wondered that myself. I think that ENFJs are really dynamic and if delivered a reality call with enough tact they can grow from that rational approach to their emotions. It's risky though giving it straight to an ENFJ. I just want them to know this kind of tough love comes from a good place. For all you ENFJs:

YouTube - Letters To Cleo - Cruel To Be Kind
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I have gotten over most of my pain. I don't like publicizing it nor do I like hearing about other's pain (unless I'm close to them). Nobody needs to know my business and I tell them about it at my own accord. For me, rehashing pain is counterproductive and makes me depressed. It's just better to get on w/ my life. I am not playing a VICTIM. I have been through more than MOST people. I'm just not going through highly personal things w/ people I do not know. That's just how I am. Most XNFJ's seem like this. XNFPs seem more open about hurt, letdowns, disappointments, etc. and I respect them for it. I don't think you will get much luck w/ENFJs on this thread esp. since the OP said I will tell you the reason AFTER. You guys are saying its no big deal but you guys have not given a story of hurt either.

From your responses I am sure as hell not going to tell you guys anything. Ceecee was right. "Good luck with that".
 
Last edited:

BlueFlame

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
181
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w2
Sweet Jesus. For realz? :doh:

Well, I just look at it logically. What does it bring me if I wallow in pain? Either I vent it to others and free myself by sharing and then get OVER it, or I analyze it to learn from it or share it because I think others can profit from what I've gone through and learned.

Otherwise, who gives a rat's fat butt if you share your shit or not? Do these people think there is a governmental agency recording every ENFJ's hurt somewhere so that if they miss declaring 100 dollars of taxable income that they can be blackmailed for sharing their incredible hurt from some kind of child, spousal, or relationship abuse? Or getting screwed over by a former employer? What goes through these people's minds anyway?

What's going through my mind at this moment is best not shared.

OP, do you need help with something? Some sort of hypotheses you're researching? If you want information, you're going to have to lay your intent out there. If your intent isn't good, you're wasting your time.

Until then...
When I was about ten years old, I slipped getting out of the shower and fell onto the corner of an open cabinet. It had on of those metal tips on it? Sliced my side right open and I still have a giant scar.
Does that help?
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
Thank you, Blueflame, you wrote what I was trying to say but in a much more diplomatic manner. Ok I thought the OP was talking about the "deepest hurt". If not, my foot slipped on my bike pedal and ricocheted back into it. I fractured my ankle.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I'd tell you all things... sometime.
I'm not a private person about the events of my life, only the attached emotions. I can divulge potentially traumatizing information all day and feel nothing. The people who really have a hold over me and get deep into my existence are the ones who get to see the attached emotion.

Sadly, i don't want to divulge my nonsense right now! :yay:
 

Malkavia

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
289
MBTI Type
ENXP
Enneagram
3w4
If you want I can change my profile to be ENFJ and then tell you stuff?
 

BlueFlame

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
181
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w2
I'd tell you all things... sometime.
I'm not a private person about the events of my life, only the attached emotions. I can divulge potentially traumatizing information all day and feel nothing. The people who really have a hold over me and get deep into my existence are the ones who get to see the attached emotion.

Sadly, i don't want to divulge my nonsense right now! :yay:

That's pretty much how I am, with a few exceptions.
However, I rarely divulge anything remotely personal without a purpose...even if iit's a rather boring purpose. Thus far, I'm lackins g purpose to move forward! :)
 

TopherRed

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,272
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I'll give her a freebie, because this one interests me. My dad was a jackass ESFJ growing up. He had all the bad Fe I could handle; temper tantrums, rudeitude, rank and file, anger at the drop of a hat if you eat the last of the cheerios. His Highness showed me the worst of Fe.

Of course, as I finally escaped his house, I became a bad Fe. I felt I was entitled, I was undermotivated, I was easily the victim in every circumstance, etc., etc. I learned during that time that right and wrong didn't matter--only how well you could convince someone that your viewpoint was right. I became coniving, I manuvered, I was quickly heading toward the dark side of the force.

But the thing is, all of that time, I knew it. I knew what I was doing. That made me both doubly guilty, but also I had more leverage to get out of it. When I woke up, I began to surround myself with friends that cared about honor and righteousness again. I met my first INFP...albeit she wasn't healthy, and she broke my heart, but still. Fi rubbed off. Now I've got a few ENFPs around me that care enough to give me a piece of their mind from time to time, a mature ENTJ, and an INFJ too. I care about treating others with true respect now...I don't just look at people to see what I can get from them. I see people with the love that I would want to receive from them, but don't expect. I believe I'm developing real integrity (not all that fake ENFJ stuff). It's taken awhile, but I think I'm there.

So, there's a bunch of me in a nutshell. Depth is depth, and it's hard to express on fast forward, but you wanted ammunition against an ENFJ that you're dealing with (and probably like) irl, so you can all paint us with the broad brush that we're coniving lunitics out to get our way.

Guess what though, we have feeling too. Eat it INFP! ;)
--Fuzzcrossed
 
Top