[INFJ] Are INFJs naturally fascinated with ENTPs?

[abyssinia]

I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread, but I just want to put in a good word for ENTPs! When I was younger, I was hurt by a few of them, but I've learned that, at least for me, they are the people that I can have the deepest most passionate connection with (for whatever reason) and the feeling of balance is...extraordinary. There are down sides, of course, but I've come to be able to recognize ENTPs immediately and have made several of them, along with their INTP cousins, my very good friends.

I think the thing an INFJ needs to remember is that ENTPs are *very different* than you are. Their initial flightiness or unwillingness to commit does not mean they are not capable of very committed, passionate, loving relationships. The trick really is to not jump at initial signs of interest, even if you become lovers. When an ENTP is ready to commit to you trust me, he will let you know and never let go, but not a minute before.

I definitely think it's about maturity. As a mature INFJ, it's become much easier for me to give people the space to be who they are without feeling like I'm sacrificing or surrendering a part of myself in the process. When I was younger, I wore my heart on my sleeve for almost anyone and, naturally, got stomped on. A mature ENTP is more likely to have spent a lot of time chasing both women and his own projects and maybe even be searching for something more. He may be more ready to take and cherish what you have to give him.

That said, there is a lot about this that is individual. My sister, an INFJ, is dating an INTP. As far as I can see, they are seriously, deeply in love, but they have broken up and gotten back together *so many times* and well...there's nothing in her life that's not high drama. I've introduced her to MBTI and it seems to have helped them both a bit, but I think she just lives in an even higher key than I do (and I live in a higher key than most). I think she might be too easily hurt if she tried dating an ENTP.

But anyway, INFJs (especially the ladies), we need to be better at protecting our hearts and not giving them freely until someone has really built us a safe space for them in their own hearts. Just because we are so willing to give does not mean everyone is equally able to respect, understand, and protect the gift.

Long and short of it is I think I am going to keep loving ENTPs for the rest of my life. Hope I can marry one!

 

[Synarch]

I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread, but I just want to put in a good word for ENTPs! When I was younger, I was hurt by a few of them, but I've learned that, at least for me, they are the people that I can have the deepest most passionate connection with (for whatever reason) and the feeling of balance is...extraordinary. There are down sides, of course, but I've come to be able to recognize ENTPs immediately and have made several of them, along with their INTP cousins, my very good friends.

Yes. Balance. It's what life is all about isn't it? A journey toward harmonious existence. Harmony with each other. Harmony with the world. Harmony with ourselves. The last one is particularly hard for me, but with help from the people I am close to it seems attainable.

I think the thing an INFJ needs to remember is that ENTPs are *very different* than you are. Their initial flightiness or unwillingness to commit does not mean they are not capable of very committed, passionate, loving relationships. The trick really is to not jump at initial signs of interest, even if you become lovers. When an ENTP is ready to commit to you trust me, he will let you know and never let go, but not a minute before.

Very true. I think it works because INFJ's give us space yet hold us close.

I definitely think it's about maturity. As a mature INFJ, it's become much easier for me to give people the space to be who they are without feeling like I'm sacrificing or surrendering a part of myself in the process. When I was younger, I wore my heart on my sleeve for almost anyone and, naturally, got stomped on. A mature ENTP is more likely to have spent a lot of time chasing both women and his own projects and maybe even be searching for something more. He may be more ready to take and cherish what you have to give him.

"The fool who persists in his folly will become wise." - William Blake

That said, there is a lot about this that is individual. My sister, an INFJ, is dating an INTP. As far as I can see, they are seriously, deeply in love, but they have broken up and gotten back together *so many times* and well...there's nothing in her life that's not high drama. I've introduced her to MBTI and it seems to have helped them both a bit, but I think she just lives in an even higher key than I do (and I live in a higher key than most). I think she might be too easily hurt if she tried dating an ENTP.

Typology renders the complex too simple sometimes. It is important to remember that things depend largely on the individual. Helpful to remember.

But anyway, INFJs (especially the ladies), we need to be better at protecting our hearts and not giving them freely until someone has really built us a safe space for them in their own hearts. Just because we are so willing to give does not mean everyone is equally able to respect, understand, and protect the gift.

Good metaphor.

Long and short of it is I think I am going to keep loving ENTPs for the rest of my life. Hope I can marry one!

Good luck finding the right person whoever it is and whatever type they may be! I am sure you will. You sound very solid.

 

[EricHanson]

Is there a big dispcrepancy between an INFJ and an ENFJ?

I have one really close ENFJ friend (most of what I can triangulate about INFJs come from her, really, since the one INFJ girl I know, I don't know much).

About feeling neglected by an ENTP...

Compared to the sophistication of an ENFJ's social life and an ENTP's various line of interest, I think that if I'd ever be with an ENFJ, I'd feel neglected. Really.

Would there be complete turnaround if the girl's an INFJ instead? Just wondering.

INFJs often feel neglected by ENTPs. ENTPs feel neglected sometimes by ENFJs (or at least I have). Does that mean that an INFJ would feel really really neglected by an ENFJ?

 

[Fidelia]

I never have.

 

[heart]

Many INFJs partake in extramarital affairs or open relationships all the time, despite their Fe. Jung himself had many relationships with other women even though he was married and his wife knew, but didn't necessarily approve or like it. (i read he even had one of his intimate colleagues over for dinner every sunday!) Sometimes I do think it is related to immaturity if another spouse is involved (on the other end). Most INFJs that I know of who have extra lovers are in a relationship themselves (with some 'understanding') and see single people.

Jung is most often typed INTP. He typed himself as dominant introverted thinking if I recall correctly, so his Fe would be inferior, not the same animal as in the INFJ at all.

 

[lunalove]

I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread, but I just want to put in a good word for ENTPs! When I was younger, I was hurt by a few of them, but I've learned that, at least for me, they are the people that I can have the deepest most passionate connection with (for whatever reason) and the feeling of balance is...extraordinary. There are down sides, of course, but I've come to be able to recognize ENTPs immediately and have made several of them, along with their INTP cousins, my very good friends.

I think the thing an INFJ needs to remember is that ENTPs are *very different* than you are. Their initial flightiness or unwillingness to commit does not mean they are not capable of very committed, passionate, loving relationships. The trick really is to not jump at initial signs of interest, even if you become lovers. When an ENTP is ready to commit to you trust me, he will let you know and never let go, but not a minute before.

I definitely think it's about maturity. As a mature INFJ, it's become much easier for me to give people the space to be who they are without feeling like I'm sacrificing or surrendering a part of myself in the process. When I was younger, I wore my heart on my sleeve for almost anyone and, naturally, got stomped on. A mature ENTP is more likely to have spent a lot of time chasing both women and his own projects and maybe even be searching for something more. He may be more ready to take and cherish what you have to give him.

That said, there is a lot about this that is individual. My sister, an INFJ, is dating an INTP. As far as I can see, they are seriously, deeply in love, but they have broken up and gotten back together *so many times* and well...there's nothing in her life that's not high drama. I've introduced her to MBTI and it seems to have helped them both a bit, but I think she just lives in an even higher key than I do (and I live in a higher key than most). I think she might be too easily hurt if she tried dating an ENTP.

But anyway, INFJs (especially the ladies), we need to be better at protecting our hearts and not giving them freely until someone has really built us a safe space for them in their own hearts. Just because we are so willing to give does not mean everyone is equally able to respect, understand, and protect the gift.

Long and short of it is I think I am going to keep loving ENTPs for the rest of my life. Hope I can marry one!

I think you have a beautiful soul. You sound forgiving, caring, intelligent, and pure! Yes, you should take good care of your gentle soul...and keep loving everyone (including you!)...your love is powerful!! Thank for sharing with us!! luna~

 

[Synarch]

Jung is most often typed INTP. He typed himself as dominant introverted thinking if I recall correctly, so his Fe would be inferior, not the same animal as in the INFJ at all.

Yeah, I agree. He seems pretty extreme and egotistical in his letters. Actually, if you are a fan of Jung I do not recommend reading his letters. He sounds like a paranoid, angry looney tune.

 

[Moiety]

He sounds like a paranoid, angry looney tune.

Aren't we all....

 

[heart]

Yeah, I agree. He seems pretty extreme and egotistical in his letters. Actually, if you are a fan of Jung I do not recommend reading his letters. He sounds like a paranoid, angry looney tune.

But it's the contradictions and little hypocrisies that make people so interesting. Jung is no different.

 

[Venom]

oh god, not ANOTHER one of these goddamn INFJ/ENTP love fest threads!!!


we get it. you guys are the most special, weirdest and misunderstood types on the planet, and unless you guys are allowed to have the "romance novel-esque" connection, love itself will simply not exist......

 

[Fidelia]

Babs, don't blame us just because the world can't get enough of INFJ fantabulism .

 

[EcK]

I think you have a beautiful soul. You sound forgiving, caring, intelligent, and pure! Yes, you should take good care of your gentle soul...and keep loving everyone (including you!)...your love is powerful!! Thank for sharing with us!! luna~

Dude, did you come out of movie about the 70ies?

 

[Phantonym]

we get it. you guys are the most special, weirdest and misunderstood types on the planet, and unless you guys are allowed to have the "romance novel-esque" connection, love itself will simply not exist......

Awww...finally! Somebody gets IT! Now, will the world implode?

 

[Venom]

Babs, don't blame us just because the world can't get enough of INFJ fantabulism .

Awww...finally! Somebody gets IT! Now, will the world implode?

oh I forgot to include an eyeroll after my post ... I resent all of this INFJ love :workout: ( <-- he looks angry)

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Jung is most often typed INTP. He typed himself as dominant introverted thinking if I recall correctly, so his Fe would be inferior, not the same animal as in the INFJ at all.

Thank you for pointing this out. It makes total sense. While reading Psychological Types, I kept thinking to myself that he didn't quite sound INFJ, that his thinking was too pristine, too intense, but I couldn't make that leap.

 

[Phantonym]

oh I forgot to include an eyeroll after my post ... I resent all of this INFJ love :workout: ( <-- he looks angry)

Oh, I'm feeling generous, I'll throw in an extra Now, go wash your mouth with a bar of soap, it's not nice to be so jealous.

 

[alexx]

My most comfortable and long standing relationships are with INFJ's.

I'm starting to think they are the only type (if we are going by types here - anything is possible) that can maintain my interest - period.

With the INFJ's in my life (3), day to day life, goofing off, talking etc is never boring. We ENFP's can be flakes, but I just don't lose contact with mine - its natural (which is weird)

I value them GREATLY.

 

[Shimmy]

oh god, not ANOTHER one of these goddamn INFJ/ENTP love fest threads!!!


we get it. you guys are the most special, weirdest and misunderstood types on the planet, and unless you guys are allowed to have the "romance novel-esque" connection, love itself will simply not exist......

And that's why it's not called the "Are INFJs naturally fascinated with ENFJs?" thread.

 

[nijasumi]

These, times a million. ENTPs are wonderful friends, but for relationships, yes, I've felt left out in the cold before. It seems I'm much more emotionally invested in the relationship than they and that leaves me open to be hurt. So if I'm ever involved with one again in the future, I'll try to wait and see if they can give me the commitment and focus I desire before forming any strong emotional bonds.

Funny, I am an ENTP who met an INFJ. I feel that I m the one more emotionally invested due to the fact that he is always holding back his feelings so much. So I will never know how 'invested' he really is.

Too many internal defensive walls for me to break down, it's a delicious challenge though I have to admit.

 

[the state i am in]

Funny, I am an ENTP who met an INFJ. I feel that I m the one more emotionally invested due to the fact that he is always holding back his feelings so much. So I will never know how 'invested' he really is.

Too many internal defensive walls for me to break down, it's a delicious challenge though I have to admit.

there's often a kind of imbalance between the infj perception and the perception of the other. i would say what lauren ashley said, and my partner would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? you're closed off way more than me. and when you do it, it feels deliberate.

being open and in the moment all the time is next to impossible for us because we feel it can consume us from the inside out. we are always looking for improvements, always scanning for possibilities, imagining the whole of the story that has come before--it creates a kind of exhausting perfection, and the lack of Ji in the first two functions makes grounding technqiues really important so we don't short-circuit. both stress response and balancing internal/external pressures (our own idealism vs the reality of the situation/what is actually here before us) are our primary weak points. and Pi has trouble letting go of the past, because it is so often referencing the past when engaging the present and imagining the future. it is always part of the story surrounding us, part of the total meaning of our lives and the world we live in.

i think infjs sometimes have more of a tendency to trust the F of others in assigning value. because we're made to read feeling and its expression. my best friend is an entp and many of my friends are intps. with the entp especially, i think i assume emotional annoyance and irritation far more than what is likely to be the case (whereas the intps probably actually ARE annoyed! ). he has mostly purified his own psychological system, balanced himself very well, so he doesn't do things that are damaging to him. we obviously have a great connection--but i have way more of a tendency to doubt that with him and with others because i don't slow down and imagine the Ti validity of judgment in the situation, understanding motive from more perspectives than just what my Fe is receiving as input. and worse yet, it is easy for infjs (especially e5) to avoid being open with Fe and instead focusing on modeling their universe every waking moment, which makes us have very little real information to work with (read: real as present-tense).

we are definitely challenging. i think infj-entp is celebrated because entp is one of the few types who sees that "challenge" as a positive thing, rather than an exhausting waltz with a hot air balloon who is always too inflated or deflated (although the later is more relevant to the extremely intense sx infjs).