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[INFJ] INFJs: What type of people do you prefer having around?

Quay

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I prefer to be around people who are absolutely nothing like me.

I'm the one in my family with "white friends" whatever the hell that means. But then, I do live in Detroit, which his a patch of religious, cultural, racial diversity on the Wayne State campus.

I find myself most comfortable with people in the electronic music community, particularly Detroit's. I guess cuz this geographic area is so segregated, when attending an event, I see so many different types of folks brought together, and I get excited.

Sometimes I just want to snatch up my youngest niece and drag her out to an event. She could benefit from the exposure to this while she is young. In my opinion anyway...

So when you choose to be social, what kind of people are you hanging with?
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
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I prefer to be around people who are absolutely nothing like me.

I'm the one in my family with "white friends" whatever the hell that means. But then, I do live in Detroit, which his a patch of religious, cultural, racial diversity on the Wayne State campus.

I find myself most comfortable with people in the electronic music community, particularly Detroit's. I guess cuz this geographic area is so segregated, when attending an event, I see so many different types of folks brought together, and I get excited.

Sometimes I just want to snatch up my youngest niece and drag her out to an event. She could benefit from the exposure to this while she is young. In my opinion anyway...

So when you choose to be social, what kind of people are you hanging with?

I prefer having any kind of person around, really. I can learn just about anything from any type of person, though actually connecting with different types can vary in terms of ease.

I like puzzles. :yes:

As far as who I often find myself hanging out with, I tend to spend a lot of time around NTs of all breeds, xSTPs, and a few INFPs. Equally fun, interesting insights/experiences with all of them.. though differently flavored based on the type.

Myers-Briggs aside, I gravitate toward active, intelligent, creative, independent people. Those 4 adjectives seem to coexist, generally.

And I wholeheartedly agree about your niece.. exposure to the new/different is most beneficial longterm when you're young.. the brain craves new data.. those fresh neurons are just aching to build circuits. :)
I moved a lot as a child and was thus exposed to new places and people on a regular basis. I believe this helped me grow into someone who welcomes difference and change by default, which I've found most useful in every area of my life, as the one true constant seems to be, well, change. We must adapt to survive and most importantly, continue to evolve throughout our lives.
 
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Phantonym

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I prefer having any kind of person around, really. I can learn just about anything from any type of person, though actually connecting with different types can vary in terms of ease.

Yes, yes, a thousand times YES. :laugh:
 

KLessard

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I tend to stay away from bossy, exacting people because I don't like them using me as a tool and telling me what to do as if I were a slave or something.
I also dislike superficial people who judge you on your style. Loud people annoy me as well.

I like to be around anybody else, I guess. If you meant type, I have a thing for NTPs and other NFs because I know the connection is deeper and easier.
ISFJs and ISFPs are great too.

Since you were referring to a sub-culture thing, I love folk and celtic music and like to be around people involved in that culture.
 
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Phantonym

Guest
If you meant type, I have a thing for NTPs and other NFs because I know the connection is deeper and easier.

I agree with you about the NF's. Totally my homies. :wubbie:

I've had some serious and not that serious miscommunication issues with NTP's on several occasions. It's so frustrating but also utterly fascinating. But, overall, it's so darn frustrating! :steam: :laugh:
 

LavaLucy

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I flock together with birds of my feather :wubbie:
I also have some lovely ISFP friends
 

Tycho

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I relate with people of any type. Most of my deep friendships have been with INTP's, INTJ's and INFJ's.

I hope I'll have more ENFJ and ISFP friends in the future.

ISFJ's are often impressed by me. ISFJ guys can look at me as if they are in love.
 

Quay

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I've had some serious and not that serious miscommunication issues with NTP's on several occasions. It's so frustrating but also utterly fascinating. But, overall, it's so darn frustrating! :steam: :laugh:

All the time! I have an ENTP friend and we always have these misunderstandings but they make way for interesting conversation because we always end up on some abstract topic which had nothing to do with the original topic.

ISFJ's are often impressed by me. ISFJ guys can look at me as if they are in love.

I've noticed this also and not being vain; a lot of times I reciprocate this.

I get along best with NFs it seems. NTs, we have these quirky relationships I have to work hard at, which can be annoying, but when the ice is broken, the relationships are profound. My dad, the ENTJ...let's say it's been rough for most of my life...heh...

but since discovering MBTI, it's easier for me to understand his perspective on a lot of things...
 

cascadeco

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I like having nice, genuine, good-hearted people around me. :) Like-minded people helps, and people with similar interests/concerns.

Mbti-wise, though, I am close friends with several INFJ's and some xNTJ's. I connect super well with ENTP's, but they're usually too busy to have much time for me in the real-world. I've had some NFP friends in the past, but don't really have any in my life at the moment.
 

Synarch

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^^

I can relate to your sentiment above. ENTP's have trouble slowing down. I think if you can get them to slow down they will value you but it's also something that can be frightening for ENTP's, I think, and they might resist the commitment due to this vulnerability. I often feel increasingly unconfident the closer I get to people. I start out confident because I don't care.

Most people are not good at slowing me down. Some INFJ's just make me stop in my tracks and I start to orbit them like a comet swinging through the infinite cold of space in an elliptic orbit.

It's also hard though at times because I feel enthralled and captured by their gravity. Invisible pleasurable chains burrowing in. Caught between fear and excitement.
 

cascadeco

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^^

I can relate to your sentiment above. ENTP's have trouble slowing down. I think if you can get them to slow down they will value you but it's also something that can be frightening for ENTP's, I think, and they might resist the commitment due to this vulnerability. I often feel increasingly unconfident the closer I get to people. I start out confident because I don't care.

Most people are not good at slowing me down. Some INFJ's just make me stop in my tracks and I start to orbit them like a comet swinging through the infinite cold of space in an elliptic orbit.

It's also hard though at times because I feel enthralled and captured by their gravity. Invisible pleasurable chains burrowing in. Caught between fear and excitement.

That's interesting and I think it applies to both ENTP's I know. I can definitely see the piece of becoming more unconfident the closer you get (actually I can be similar myself), as well as fighting between fear and excitement.
 

quietmusician

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I like heavily cynical people that can be on the same page with my cynicism. But really I try to be open to all personality types, MBTI aside. But perky people don't tend like me, they call me a "downer". I like those who have seek fun in the smallest matters (playing video games as opposed to clubbing), those types I get along with really well. And I don't like being "encouraged" to have fun. So anyone who is cool with my laid back, homebody self is cool with me.
 

Fidelia

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I have a lot of friends who are extremely different than myself. Most people I am around tend to assume I hold the same views as them, even though I don't attempt to hide my views. This is kind of funny to me.

During university I had a lot of international friends, some people one or two generations older than me, a lot of people about 10 years older than me as well, kids, some fringe of society people (I was a busker so met some interesting, hippy street people, anarchists, goths, schitzophrenics and local characters as passing acquaintances), highly educated intellectual types, some church friends, lots of close family members, many musicians of all kinds, and some teachers/physed people.

Like Lexicon, I like puzzles. I do tend to like people I can't figure out right away or who have interesting depth to them. Sometimes I have to remember that not easy to figure out sometimes equals unhealthy.
 
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Synarch

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That's interesting and I think it applies to both ENTP's I know. I can definitely see the piece of becoming more unconfident the closer you get (actually I can be similar myself), as well as fighting between fear and excitement.

I think ENTP's and INFJ's are pretty similar in some hard to explain way. Could be everyone is the same in this way, but I do know that close relationships are tough for me. Except when they aren't. And this can change and mutate with every second depending on my level of confidence, anxiety, mood, attitude, energy level, etc. In short, I often feel crazy. :)

My main problem is basically: I think too much.
 

Synarch

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I like heavily cynical people that can be on the same page with my cynicism. But really I try to be open to all personality types, MBTI aside. But perky people don't tend like me, they call me a "downer". I like those who have seek fun in the smallest matters (playing video games as opposed to clubbing), those types I get along with really well. And I don't like being "encouraged" to have fun. So anyone who is cool with my laid back, homebody self is cool with me.

You need to learn to have fun.
 

Synarch

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Like Lexicon, I like puzzles. I do tend to like people I can't figure out right away or who have interesting depth to them. Sometimes I have to remember that not easy to figure out sometimes equals unhealthy.

Sounds like you like the emotionally unavailable. It is a common problem so you're in good company.
 

Fidelia

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Sounds like you like the emotionally unavailable. It is a common problem so you're in good company.

I don't like being in relationships with them, I've discovered. I'm not really sure what the payoff is. Maybe the challenge of being sought out by someone who seems to not be easily impressed. I've discovered that the interestingness of them is usually is accompanied by extreme insecurity which is presented as extreme confidence (except for some tipoffs which I recognize much sooner). I would think though that there should be people who are healthy and yet complex enough that it takes a little while to figure them out. Although, maybe transparency goes along with wanting to be known and being capable of appropriate vulnerability (ie healthy, secure person) rather than hiding your real self and carefully constructing a persona (insecurity).
 

LotsOfHeart

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I don't know if I really have a set kind of person I like to be around. There are consistencies, though, I'll admit.

In my experience, some people are friendly to me, some people are nice but shy and need to be drawn out a bit, and some people are not pleasant to be around, usually because of issues they have that impede their abilities to relate to others.

Type B personalities, feelers with GOOD/positive feelings, good-hearted rebels, people who quietly choose what they want to say...Generally respect is the name of the game, and I'll accept pretty much anyone if they appear willing to be friends. I also like thinkers, but I generally enjoy thinkers who direct their thinking energy toward real life situations more than those who direct it towards theory/numbers/counting. That is just my personal preference, however.

Who turns me off: narcissists, toxic personalities, bossy people, snobs...

Hope that helps.
 

Snow Turtle

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They have a tendancy to be the Feeler variety. Guess I'm just drawn to people that place high value on harmony and 'live and let live' attitudes. So far, the type I've never really clicked that well are usually ESTPs; It always seems like we don't have enough in common to establish a meaningful friendship.
 
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