• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFJ] INFJs: What type of people do you prefer having around?

Lux

Kraken down on piracy
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
1,458
I prefer to be around anyone who is intelligent, humorous, mentally challenging, kind, genuine, and honest.

My list could go on, but I suppose the most important characteristic is, I just like people who treat me with respect.

If you are good to me, I'll be good to you. That goes for every person in my life. :)
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I have a largish family I have to be around because I'm the mom. I love them and really tend to enjoy their company because they are funny and smart, but it doesn't leave me a lot of energy left over to be very social with non-family.

When I am around other people socially, I prefer they not be mentally rigid or stuffy. If they are intelligent and funny, that is cool. If they are also a bit cynical, but basically kind-hearted, I will love them. If they think Rush Limbaugh wrote the fifth gospel, I will be disappointed and may feel a little nauseous.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I realized a while ago that I only have two major criteria for friends: that they be nice and interesting. And if they can't be interesting, they can at least be nice.

I know this is condescending, but I've had some good friends who are not very "interesting" at least as far as being intellectually stimulating or whatever. But they are lovely people who have their friends' best interests at heart. To me this is the main thing. If you have nice and interesting together, that's just awesome. And I have had a few of those.

If someone is only interesting, and not nice - you should probably (at most) keep it on the level of acquaintanceship. You'll get hurt ultimately if you try to be friends with them, no matter how interesting they are.

EDIT: In typology terms, best friends have included a few INFJs and at least one ISFJ. They are all both nice and interesting. :D Most of my good friends over the years have probably been NFs and SJs. I'm generalizing very broadly here, but a few NTs that I tried to be friends with seemed mainly interested in people as intellectual playthings - and with those I can think of who are definitely SPs, either both I and them haven't been interested in taking it past acquaintanceship, or I've ended up hurt by selfish and inconsiderate behaviour. But despite how that may sound, I hope I'm still open to friendship with possible NTs or SPs! First and foremost you should just take people as people. There are both great people, and jerks, in all types.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Actually continuity AND change are the two constants.

Anyways like many others here, I like variety in my friends.


Ah.. yeah.. I was generalizing a lot there.. I guess I meant moreover that, change seems to be the most apparent constant within the greater pattern [of continuity], if that makes sense.. and it's an unavoidable aspect of existence that we ideally should adapt to, & grow from, etc..
I'm not wording things the way I'd like to, lately. :doh:
 

tibby

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
682
MBTI Type
fool
One thing I've noticed about my friends is that they're very mature - in the sense their environments have forced themselves to mature early and be responsible for themselves, they haven't had it easy. I feel comfortable with them. But that's as far the commonalities go, they're all very different types of people.

And as was mentioned before by others, I appreciate puzzles too.

I like being around questioning, interesting people.
And I like learning about them.

I feel like I'm almost some kind of a scientist studying the people around me because I find them fascinating.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I think ENTP's and INFJ's are pretty similar in some hard to explain way. Could be everyone is the same in this way, but I do know that close relationships are tough for me. Except when they aren't. And this can change and mutate with every second depending on my level of confidence, anxiety, mood, attitude, energy level, etc. In short, I often feel crazy. :)
My main problem is basically: I think too much.

:) :yes: Yeah... and I totally relate to the mutation depending on mood and confidence level. Totally.
 

hokie912

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
271
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I realized a while ago that I only have two major criteria for friends: that they be nice and interesting. And if they can't be interesting, they can at least be nice.

I know this is condescending, but I've had some good friends who are not very "interesting" at least as far as being intellectually stimulating or whatever. But they are lovely people who have their friends' best interests at heart. To me this is the main thing. If you have nice and interesting together, that's just awesome. And I have had a few of those.

Definitely relate to this. I think that being well-intentioned is my number one criterion for friendship. Well-intentioned isn't always quite the same as nice, and I've known some people who aren't nice by any objective standards but, motivation-wise, have their hearts in the right place. As long as you aren't malicious or generally mean, we're cool. And I get the sense that I'm more likely to consider the perceived motivations rather than a person's behavior than most other people I know, which means that I'm willing to overlook a lot of flaws.

I also relate to the part about having some friends who are nice but not interesting. I value these people, but sometimes wish that I could make myself find them more interesting. I usually find myself drifting away from these friendships over time. It's always wonderful when you find people who are both nice and interesting...those are the ones you want to hold on to. The interesting but not-nice ones, as you said, it's best to keep a fair distance from.
 

LotsOfHeart

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
298
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
I related to that post as well. ^

I'll admit I find a considerable number of people boring, but I am actually outgrowing a lot of that. I find more people to be interesting than I used to, I'm happy to say. Regardless, niceness trumps all.
 

Quay

Peaced
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Messages
271
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I know this is condescending, but I've had some good friends who are not very "interesting" at least as far as being intellectually stimulating or whatever. But they are lovely people who have their friends' best interests at heart. To me this is the main thing. If you have nice and interesting together, that's just awesome. And I have had a few of those.

Yep. I just like to learn from people. I think there is a higher purpose to come of every close relationship I have with someone. Not to say I cannot gain from those who are not interesting, which I do, but there are particular kinds of folks I like to be around to match my cosmicness, I guess. Can't really explain this..

One thing I've noticed about my friends is that they're very mature - in the sense their environments have forced themselves to mature early and be responsible for themselves, they haven't had it easy. I feel comfortable with them. But that's as far the commonalities go, they're all very different types of people.

And as was mentioned before by others, I appreciate puzzles too.

I like being around questioning, interesting people.
And I like learning about them.

I feel like I'm almost some kind of a scientist studying the people around me because I find them fascinating.

I really relate to this. I don't have normal friends. But I'm not normal myself so it matches...
 

lillyofthevalley

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
157
MBTI Type
INFJ
I like all types of people. I especially like people who are genuine, who can say what's on their mind without offense because you know they're caring souls.

The people I like least are:

People who portray themselves as something they're not, they say the right things, do the right things but you feel right to your bone that they're actors.

People who are so narrow that they think all of humanity should be like them. They can be very like-able in some respects and some of them are incredibly social and have a lot of friends. They have a tendency to voice strong opinions about anything from cat lovers, vegetarians. They're totally impatient with other drivers. They bully service workers. They don't mind correcting people in front of others. They have the attitude that they 'got where they are by their own true grit' so no there's no excuse for anyone else. They feel as if only the best in life is good enough for them. They tend to get caught up in trends, like fine cigars, wine, certain vehicles, brands, etc. Some of them secretly (or maybe not) take pride in thinking they are a hard-ass which makes me wonder what weakness they're trying to compensate for cover is for.

People who offer an occasional criticism in earnest to help are fine but there are some who offer their 'help' way too often. When I'm with my sister in law it feels like she's looking for an opportunity to make a comments. They wrap their comments in a pretty package so as not to be too critical but the feeling for me is that they have issues. Sometimes I wonder if it's envy or jealousy.

Most of these types I can deal with in small doses but only with my force field on high.
 

Quiet

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2010
Messages
282
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5
I have 2 best friends who are ENFJ's and a best friend who is an ISTP.

The 2 ENFJ's are really accepting of me, so I know they understand me and that is huge. The ISTP is fun to be with and I get an interesting perspective on the things I think about. We both value alone time and there is no pressure to perform.

I have many online friends though from another forum, and I love them a ton. :D
 

QPoet

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2010
Messages
18
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w4
I find I get along with INTJ's very well. I can also relate to INFP's a lot since I spend some time there myself. My best friend from HS was an ESFP. I also like ENFP's very much. My wife is an ISFJ. I haven't know many INFJ's, but I love all my INJF online friends.

I prefer feelers, but get some kind of geek vibe going with INTJ's, it's cool and kind of weird at the same time. You can get something different out of each type I suppose.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
geeky intuitives, generally e4s,5s, 7s, and 9s.

i find that these categories correlate pretty strongly with who i relate to, can communicate with, and feel challenged by. seeing the world similarly enough to enjoy it and share vision, and then being able to explore and find the differences.
 

scortia

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
201
MBTI Type
INFJ
My friends seem to be all over in terms of type. I like healthy NTs and fellow NFs most but they are so few in my life. I typically enjoy friends who have a great sense of humor and stand rather independently on their own. Other than that, they're all over the place.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I like most types of people, but just need a bit of alone time to recuperate depending on how much energy they require of me. For longer-term interaction it helps if the person is a little laid back, at least not apt to interpret things in a negative light or apt to put pressure on me. I like it if we both rely on reason to resolve problems rather than accommodation to solve conflict. For example if any reference to [insert anything] is upsetting and must be avoided, I always fear I will forget. I can't keep track of details and know I will blunder. Reason distills details down to a reliable system that I can reference at a later point and it should remain the same. It is also important that they want to be interacting with me.
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I like heavily cynical people that can be on the same page with my cynicism. But really I try to be open to all personality types, MBTI aside. But perky people don't tend like me, they call me a "downer". I like those who have seek fun in the smallest matters (playing video games as opposed to clubbing), those types I get along with really well. And I don't like being "encouraged" to have fun. So anyone who is cool with my laid back, homebody self is cool with me.

These are my preferences, too.
 
Top