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[MBTI General] NF and NT... drawn together like moth to flame

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I know my INTJ can be very dismissive with most people. He falls prey to the emotional overload though with the few close friends he has. Like when I'm very very sick, he frequently worries A LOT, and tries to contain it, but the worry winds up eating at him if I remain sick for a long time. He becomes very depressed and unresponsive, and has to take more and more time alone. The upset drains him badly. This absolutely does NOT happen with him when he's around just Whomever Off The Street. It seems to be unfortunately counterproductive to forming a lasting, deep attachment. It frustrates him.

Perhaps it has to do with the Fe/Fi inferior function when it comes to INTPs and ENTJs; it sneaks in the back door and hits them hard that way.
 

chippinchunk

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2007
Messages
112
MBTI Type
INFJ
NFs can understand NT's thoughts, and they think about similar things. They both have an intense drive for self-improvement. NTs can sort and mold the NF's ideas into something coherent (thank god) and NF can lavishly praise the NT, which the NT, suffering from low self-esteem and persistent self-doubt, eats up like Ivy's sandwiches.

I agree with you, strange... I get this vibe whenever i'm talking to my INTP friend. She's always so happy when I 'open up' or say something that she wouldn't really picture coming from me. But anyways, that's me and my friends for you. Your discription is practically our relationship.
 

Varelse

Wait, what?
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
1,698
MBTI Type
INTJ
It seems like this person tends to not be as affected by explicit expressions from people they don't know well or aren't as close to, and thus find it easier to ignore or give a short response rather than correcting them. But the closer they get to them, and the better they know them, the more they need to be authentic/honest with them, and the increasing strength of the emotional attachment is such that it's typically more overwhelming for them to deal with emotion emanating from people closer to them. This is because they begin to value their emotions more, and this makes it more overwhelming for them when they perceive the emotions, especially in an explicit expression.
Yeah...and it's also that my emotions can be non-existent to me until I lose control of them, and then I'm sitting there wondering what's wrong with me, and the other person is sitting there shocked.

Which tends to impede my honesty in future scenarios. Of course, giving too much attention to my emotions tends to remind me of them, and...makes it harder to control them, I suppose.
 

Sandy

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
552
MBTI Type
INFP
NFs can understand NT's thoughts, and they think about similar things. They both have an intense drive for self-improvement. NTs can sort and mold the NF's ideas into something coherent (thank god) and NF can lavishly praise the NT, which the NT, suffering from low self-esteem and persistent self-doubt, eats up like Ivy's sandwiches.

I mentioned this to my INTP, and we both agreed that your assessment is what we experience.

I know that when he's flashes his brilliance, I melt like butter.
I know that when my feelings are intense, he is drawn to me with fascination.
 

gretch

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
111
MBTI Type
ENFP
*clears throat* From A Bug's Life:
"Don't go toward the light!!!!"
" I can't help it! It's soo beautiful!" ZAP!

I am and ENFP and my husband is an INTP. We were seriously meant to be together. Though my mentor who is an ENTJ when i told him MIke's type said. "well Gretchen that's great! But who's going to balance the checkbook?" I love my husband for his consistency of thought. I often refer to him as my mental anchor. He is a pillar. He's incredibly intelligent, not a bit sexist, and incredibly sexy. His thoughts just dive into my soul like they were meant to be there. He's understanding of my whims and interests. Ever encouraging, skeptical to a good degree. Funny, in a sexy wry sort of way. Ideal to be sure.
He likes me because I" am accepting of him, but never complacent. Strong willed, silly and independent. Unique and open. Never too certain and rarely casual about the things that are truly important. Open to new ideas and I keep him out of his ruts."
I think more than anything it is a fusion of a strong balance in ideologies. He is the person who I always hoped existed but never believed it to be possible.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
Joined
Nov 15, 2007
Messages
2,591
MBTI Type
ENTP
I know my INTJ can be very dismissive with most people. He falls prey to the emotional overload though with the few close friends he has. Like when I'm very very sick, he frequently worries A LOT, and tries to contain it, but the worry winds up eating at him if I remain sick for a long time. He becomes very depressed and unresponsive, and has to take more and more time alone. The upset drains him badly. This absolutely does NOT happen with him when he's around just Whomever Off The Street. It seems to be unfortunately counterproductive to forming a lasting, deep attachment. It frustrates him.

Simply, you fear the loss. The N part helps NT and NF build a connection, as both absorb the non-dit in any situation. This connection is deepened because the Fs offers a different way of seeing to the Ts, which starts from the same source. If you wish, it is like a different intepretation of the same book.

I see my thoughts in words, but the Fs (here at least), are bringing it to life for me with colours and shapes. I surmise for the Fs, the structure of the Ts helps give tangible frames and patterns to their dimensions and colours.

Think that deepens the connection for the two. Why the T draws back is perhaps a lack of trust in a connection that defies logic, simply. No easy solutions for that. . . Perhaps a slowing down over time and learning that the constancy is real.
 

gretch

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Simply, you fear the loss. The N part helps NT and NF build a connection, as both absorb the non-dit in any situation. This connection is deepened because the Fs offers a different way of seeing to the Ts, which starts from the same source. If you wish, it is like a different intepretation of the same book.

I see my thoughts in words, but the Fs (here at least), are bringing it to life for me with colours and shapes. I surmise for the Fs, the structure of the Ts helps give tangible frames and patterns to their dimensions and colours.

Think that deepens the connection for the two. Why the T draws back is perhaps a lack of trust in a connection that defies logic, simply. No easy solutions for that. . . Perhaps a slowing down over time and learning that the constancy is real.

hmmm you should listen to "stay forever" by ween. Your post reminded me of that.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Simply, you fear the loss.

I see this on his face, and I pity the torture going on his head because he couldn't have picked two more stressful ailing people to be best friends with. When things have been going bad with the Twins, I see that twisted-up look of his go flickering past, though it rarely makes it fully to the surface. Happens with some of my ENTPs too, though they're much less able to conceal their distress.


Think that deepens the connection for the two. Why the T draws back is perhaps a lack of trust in a connection that defies logic, simply. No easy solutions for that. . . Perhaps a slowing down over time and learning that the constancy is real.

Beautifully stated.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
Joined
Nov 15, 2007
Messages
2,591
MBTI Type
ENTP
I see this on his face, and I pity the torture going on his head because he couldn't have picked two more stressful ailing people to be best friends with. When things have been going bad with the Twins, I see that twisted-up look of his go flickering past, though it rarely makes it fully to the surface.

like rum & raisin and cookies & cream, good things come in pairs.

Happens with some of my ENTPs too, though they're much less able to conceal their distress.

We're public distress systems. :rolli: Though I daresay the prodigal verbiage (yes! used that!) and emo histrionics do hide deeper issues. The appearance of open-ness does not mean they're truly open sometimes. The risk for misunderstanding is great.

Beautifully stated.

thank you. :)
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
like rum & raisin and cookies & cream, good things come in pairs.

I agree. But my mother might not. :D (Got the rundown just last night of what terrors we were growing up... apparently, we were lucky not to be left in a cardboard box on the side of the road. hahahaha...)



We're public distress systems. :rolli: Though I daresay the prodigal verbiage (yes! used that!) and emo histrionics do hide deeper issues. The appearance of open-ness does not mean they're truly open sometimes. The risk for misunderstanding is great.


I wish I knew more female ENTPs. All of mine are guys.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
Joined
Nov 15, 2007
Messages
2,591
MBTI Type
ENTP
I agree. But my mother might not. :D (Got the rundown just last night of what terrors we were growing up... apparently, we were lucky not to be left in a cardboard box on the side of the road. hahahaha...)

lol. We both used to get punished together (namely because it was hard to proportion blame to two equally guilty looking miscreants). We came up with inventive ways of hiding canes. Up to 10 years after, they were still finding the canes we hid.

I wish I knew more female ENTPs. All of mine are guys.

I'm up for adoption. If you'd like to adopt a lost, rabid, mercurial, rambly little ENTP that is.
 

sakuraba

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
371
MBTI Type
(y)
Enneagram
7w8
-NFs make me feel human.

-I can be myself around NF's. ie. as weird as I want to be, especially with NFP's.

-Feel a stronger connection.

-Far better understanding. Lots of miscommunication with Sensors.

-Seems more like "we're in this together". With some S's I just feel different from them or left out.

-I dont get bored with NF's, we can have fun together. Get lost in our own world.

-For the most part, most are not overly concerned with materialistic nonsense. ie. brand names and labels



What's most frustrating is their lack of logic and common sense. They can also be manipulative and very hypocritical. Sometimes overly sensitive. But all THAT is what draws us NT's towards them even more. It's the complete opposite of how we are.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
lol. We both used to get punished together (namely because it was hard to proportion blame to two equally guilty looking miscreants). We came up with inventive ways of hiding canes. Up to 10 years after, they were still finding the canes we hid.

LOL!!! That sounds familiar!



I'm up for adoption. If you'd like to adopt a lost, rabid, mercurial, rambly little ENTP that is.

Come on down, aelan! We'll certainly have you! :yes:
 

autumn

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
106
MBTI Type
eNFP
-NFs make me feel human.

-I can be myself around NF's. ie. as weird as I want to be, especially with NFP's.

-Feel a stronger connection.

-Far better understanding. Lots of miscommunication with Sensors.

-Seems more like "we're in this together". With some S's I just feel different from them or left out.

-I dont get bored with NF's, we can have fun together. Get lost in our own world.

-For the most part, most are not overly concerned with materialistic nonsense. ie. brand names and labels

Yes.


What's most frustrating is their lack of logic and common sense. They can also be manipulative and very hypocritical. Sometimes overly sensitive. But all THAT is what draws us NT's towards them even more. It's the complete opposite of how we are.

Well, I don't know about other individual NFs, but I tend to be very logical, particularly in scholarly activities. I probably do it in a pretty NF kind of way, though.

As for "manipulative and hypocritical" NFs, well, I would think that would be more due to immaturity or other character flaws than to NFness. Then again, maybe those are some of the ways that immaturity and lack of character are commonly manifested in the NF, and other flaws would be more typical for immature individuals of other temperaments? I would think that an NF couldn't maintain being manipulative or hypocritical for very long due to their tendency to have strong personal values and to strive for honesty and authenticity. I am not perfect, but I definitely strive for honesty and authenticity, and dislike being manipulative or hypocritical.

Overly sensitive: yep, you got that one right. :hi:

I do think it's interesting that you said some of these differences draw you even more to NFs. I find that NTs and NFs are very complementary, filling in some of each others' shortcomings and being different enough to be fascinating while holding some of the most important factors in common. :)

autumn
 

htb

New member
Joined
May 14, 2007
Messages
1,505
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
What is truly going on here is detente.
 

wedekit

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2007
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INFJ
I definitely need someone of the N persuasion. NT would be the best-case-scenario.
 

sakuraba

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
371
MBTI Type
(y)
Enneagram
7w8
i can get on just fine with S.

But I will always feel misunderstood. Left out. Bored.
 

illiterate abc

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
10
MBTI Type
ENFP
I am and ENFP and my husband is an INTP. We were seriously meant to be together. Though my mentor who is an ENTJ when i told him MIke's type said. "well Gretchen that's great! But who's going to balance the checkbook?" I love my husband for his consistency of thought. I often refer to him as my mental anchor. He is a pillar. He's incredibly intelligent, not a bit sexist, and incredibly sexy. His thoughts just dive into my soul like they were meant to be there. He's understanding of my whims and interests. Ever encouraging, skeptical to a good degree. Funny, in a sexy wry sort of way. Ideal to be sure.
He likes me because I" am accepting of him, but never complacent. Strong willed, silly and independent. Unique and open. Never too certain and rarely casual about the things that are truly important. Open to new ideas and I keep him out of his ruts."
I think more than anything it is a fusion of a strong balance in ideologies. He is the person who I always hoped existed but never believed it to be possible.

About a week ago, I started talking to an INTP girl who I met online. I've talked to her A LOT and after going out with her, I can't help but realize that everything you've said here is the essence of our attraction so far. Things are looking good. :heart:
 
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