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[MBTI General] NF and NT... drawn together like moth to flame

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
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11,429
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eNFJ
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4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't know. The attraction was so strong between my NT and I that we were never just friends. We know each other pretty well now and I can safely call us the best of friends, but there is still an incredibly strong attraction despite the power struggles of the early stages of the relationship.

That's me and any NT that I ever got serious with. Immediate pyrotechnics, internal, external, et al. That, to me, goes way beyond mere sexual pull. I have to get hit squarely on several whiplash levels to take me down that hard in the first place. I can just tell when something ISN'T going to work, and it loses flash within seconds. The real white-hot attractions have always been an instinctive pull toward someone that WILL work. Otherwise, it's a futile effort.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
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2,062
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ENFP
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7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I don't know. The attraction was so strong between my NT and I that we were never just friends. We know each other pretty well now and I can safely call us the best of friends, but there is still an incredibly strong attraction despite the power struggles of the early stages of the relationship.


It's a brain madness. NT's make me feel like my mind has some sort of very clear thinking fever ( if that's possible). It seems very primal, but not animalistic. Like an immediate recognition, perhaps. The first time I encountered this phenomenon, it was terrifying because the pull was so strong, but it didn't feel dangerous, which made me think I was going crazy. Maybe because I'm not a headlong sort of person - I'm very careful about who I involve myself with, and I don't fall in love easily or immediately. So a force that strong is pretty overwhelming. Of course, it also feels absolutely right, which is befuddling.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
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That's me and any NT that I ever got serious with. Immediate pyrotechnics, internal, external, et al. That, to me, goes way beyond mere sexual pull. I have to get hit squarely on several whiplash levels to take me down that hard in the first place. I can just tell when something ISN'T going to work, and it loses flash within seconds. The real white-hot attractions have always been an instinctive pull toward someone that WILL work. Otherwise, it's a futile effort.

Well said, my sister! Nothing worse than being buried alive in a futile relationship. I won't have it, I say! Death to all tyrants! :D
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
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I don't really know about all of that, but I get a very strong vibe of calmness, trust, understanding, and even intense concern/attention from many NT's that I don't get from most other types, even just in talking to them over the Internet.
 

armstrongvk12

New member
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Dec 26, 2007
Messages
136
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ENxJ
I don't really know about all of that, but I get a very strong vibe of calmness, trust, understanding, and even intense concern/attention from many NT's that I don't get from most other types, even just in talking to them over the Internet.
It's funny that you should write this description because I feel like I am more calm, trusting, understanding and attentive when I am with my INFJ friend. In short, he brings out the best in me. :wubbie:
 

sakuraba

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one thing i noticed about the ENFJ I was dating was that she acted more NT around me - more calm, less emotional.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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one thing i noticed about the ENFJ I was dating was that she acted more NT around me - more calm, less emotional.

I do that as well at times. There's less need to be emotional when you feel more in balance with an NT.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
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INfj
*nods* I'm like that as well... though nowadays if you get me interested in theory, I automatically go into that mode.
 

chatoyer

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May 1, 2007
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eNfP
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sx/sp
one thing i noticed about the ENFJ I was dating was that she acted more NT around me - more calm, less emotional.

I can do that too, esp in the "getting to know you" phase, I'm adapting to the NT mode.

But I know I'm really comfortable when I show my Fi with an NT-- I still will try to use vocabulary that is NT-friendly, I'll make distinctions & try to be as precise as possible, but the content will be values & priorities, & the delivery may be dramatic & emotional. If the NT is accepting of that part of me, that isn't shown to many people, they will be considered really special.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
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ENTP
I do that as well at times. There's less need to be emotional when you feel more in balance with an NT.

Not sure, but with an NF, there's a certain freedom because I don't have to be cerebral. It is a release in a certain way, and a new way of seeing things. They let you be silly which with other NTs you may not be. But it isn't always easy to adapt.

I can do that too, esp in the "getting to know you" phase, I'm adapting to the NT mode.

But I know I'm really comfortable when I show my Fi with an NT-- I still will try to use vocabulary that is NT-friendly, I'll make distinctions & try to be as precise as possible, but the content will be values & priorities, & the delivery may be dramatic & emotional. If the NT is accepting of that part of me, that isn't shown to many people, they will be considered really special.

* I think the key is that acceptance and finding that middle ground. :yes:
 

Apollonian

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Jun 24, 2007
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there's a certain freedom because I don't have to be cerebral.

My problem is usually the reverse. I like being cerebral. Many people don't. Others are fascinated by it but eventually get annoyed. A very select few really understand how to respond effectively to it, in one way or another.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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My problem is usually the reverse. I like being cerebral. Many people don't. Others are fascinated by it but eventually get annoyed. A very select few really understand how to respond effectively to it, in one way or another.


Just a clarification: Aelan isn't saying that she doesn't like to be cerebral or prefer T in her primary function. I believe she's saying she enjoys the variety and change-up from dealing with NFs and the NF version of cerebral pursuits which may take a sidestep from "hard" logic into other realms that both types find stimulating. It's about a change of pace.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
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Just a clarification: Aelan isn't saying that she doesn't like to be cerebral or prefer T in her primary function. I believe she's saying she enjoys the variety and change-up from dealing with NFs and the NF version of cerebral pursuits which may take a sidestep from "hard" logic into other realms that both types find stimulating. It's about a change of pace.

Ah. Understanding. :yes:

With other cerebrainiacs, what happens is generally a head-on debate that degenerates into semantics and a who's right who's wrong, which irritates the P in me that is just seeking to explore vs conclude/"win".

With the NF the exploration is possible without falling into a competition of sorts. It becomes like a dance, an action, reaction, thrust-and-parry, throw-a-curve, follow-a-loop dialogue. It is stimulating in a different way.

:D
 

sakuraba

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NF's

Love em. Hate Em. Cant do without em. Well, actually yes I can. But life seems much more "complete" when I have a special one in my life.
 

Apollonian

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what happens is generally a head-on debate that degenerates into semantics and a who's right who's wrong, which irritates the P in me that is just seeking to explore vs conclude/"win".

Ah, I see. On the whole, I'm with you on that one. That bugs the heck out of me (and I'm a J). I suppose in this particular aspect I lean toward exhibiting P behavior (in that I prefer to explore ideas in a discussion rather than an argument). Yet, inevitably my J-ness desires closure to a discussion and attempts to discern where everyone agrees rather than where everyone disagrees.

However, from my personal experience, I have found that a persons tendency to argue a point (semantics or otherwise) has a lot to do with personal history above and beyond their personality type. I have had an INxP argue with me for several hours over semantics, probably because he was being oversensitive at the time and trying to assert himself in the conversation. I've also known some J-types to be quite reasonable, that is if they are mature enough to understand the give-and-take necessary in a pleasant conversation.

Maturity may have a lot to do with it. I'm still working on that determination, though.
 

anii

homo-loving sonovagun
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NF and NT... drawn together like moth to flame

Every time I read this thread title, I want to finish the sentence:

"... and one of them gets burned." Likely the NF.

I've been skerred to say this, but what the hell? It's not like we don't all know this happens. So really, I'm stating the obvious. Which is supremely boring.

I'll shut up now.
 

armstrongvk12

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Every time I read this thread title, I want to finish the sentence:

"... and one of them gets burned." Likely the NF.
I disagree! I'm the NT...and I think I'm getting burned by the NF. I'm not sure that he knows I'm even alive....sad to say.:shock:
 

disregard

mrs
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Apr 23, 2007
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I agree with anii. But a way around this fate is by pouring your resources into the relationship and striving to better understand and communicate. It is so easy to shut someone out and put up a wall, but if you try like your life depends on it, you will reap the rewards..
 

armstrongvk12

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ENxJ
I agree with anii. But a way around this fate is by pouring your resources into the relationship and striving to better understand and communicate. It is so easy to shut someone out and put up a wall, but if you try like your life depends on it, you will reap the rewards..
Unfortunately I'm already doing what you suggested....and I still think I'm getting burned. That's why....I'll probably resort to the shut out/wall up....cause I have no other choice....if I want to go on.
 
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