[INFP] how an infp is perceived by the general public...

[Rebe]

my closest friend, isfj, tells me that I give off an air of being a stuck up and an impression of being really weird (though not in a good way) and confused, she likes to tease me about how confused i am, what I tried to express with sincerity, she thought I was faking it

i have never gotten along with women, most of them just dislikes me almost immediately, i never understood why, i don't like them much either but for future profession's sake, i want to know what it is that makes me hard to approach, I don't need or want to be liked by everyone, but i don't want to be a snob

 

[heart]

I've been told this before too. Have same experience with other women.

 

[mr.awesome]

ive been told by all of my closest friends that i intimidated them [if you saw me in person you would laugh, as i am a 5'8" 110lb pacifist] nonetheless everyone seems hesitant around me.

the way i see other infp's
-spaced out
-quiet
-very silly, hardly expose serious side very often
-strange, indifferent to rules of social norms or cliques
-do what they want, not in a rude careless way, but just an oblivious manner
-very warm and pleasant [to interact with]

 

[heart]

I am a woman but I've been told I am intimidating, especially the "looks" I supposidily give from my eyes. Nine times out of ten when I am supposed to be giving one of these looks, my mind is a million miles away.

 

[nolla]

I've got no complaints. It seems that people find me easy to approach. Whenever there is someone going around begging for money they come to me...

 

[Kastor]

I can never seem to shake the feeling, when I go out in public, that people probably think I'm retarded XD;;

 

[disregard]

I'm typically received negatively, and I've learned to shrug it off. As my signature says, some will, some won't, so what, someone's waiting.

 

[heart]

I get a better reception from males (except for ETJ males) than I do women of all types. I am not really sure why.

 

[Eckhart]

I have heard several different sentences about my perceived images, and also some indirect observations about it. I will give some examples:

-Many people (mostly which did not know me for long) have told me that I seem arrogant. This is probably because I am kinda reserved.
-Some guy who I was friends with some time and still later got along with mostly good told me after 8 years at school that he knows NOTHING about me
-Same guy said (meant as joke) that I spread somehow an Aura (don't know what one) in room when I am in. Somehow I think he did not mean it to 100% as a joke.
-At school when I was asked by teacher to tell something to some topic we should prepare before, I had to admit I didn't learn it. It is really not like it didn't happen ever before (I am actually quite lazy with those things), but someone said it makes me seem more "human" - I was like "wtf?" and other around quietly made some kinda shocked reaction; she however did not know me that well, and actually we got along ok still after it, so I don't know exactly how she meant it
-Whenever someone did something half-evil (playing some trick/joke or whatever), someone maybe said (mostly as joke) that I was it and all are laughing because I would never do something like that. Mostly I really wasn't, but a few times I did and no one believed I could have done that, which was always funny
-People say I am weird but they like me.
-In bus, random people (mostly old ones) take the seat next to me although there are several other free places, some where there is no one sitting nex to them (mostly people take such places) or there were many places free nearer to them. Also on street random people start talking to me when waiting for bus. On the other hand, at school and university, people (which don't know me) often don't seem to be keen to sit next to me.

 

[disregard]

I used to assume an ambiguous gender to ward off hostility online. People don't seem to like outspoken INFP women. They're supposed to be quiet. Their thoughts and opinions are stupid.

 

[Rhapsody]

From the little others have told me, it seems like I give off the impression of being sweet/innocent/harmless (much to my chagrin) and apparently bubbly and super positive (I've actually heard the thing about me having an extremely positive aura more than anything else, which always makes me think "wtf?" because internally, I tend towards being negative more often than not). I would not be surprised if someone out there thought I was cold and snobby, because I am really reserved and withdrawn, and tend to fail utterly at reciprocating social overtures in an appropriate manner. But no one has ever told me that, so maybe not.

I only know two other confirmed INFPs in RL, both women, and I only met them recently. Having met them, I can see why some people think INFPs are intimidating. =P I had heard all about how INFPs can come across as Ts, but I was not really prepared for just how much this is true! One of these INFPs is very outspoken/opinionated and shows almost no emotional expression when talking. The other has a slightly softer vibe, but is still pretty snarky/sarcastic (much moreso than her INTP husband) and comes across as very collected. Even though I know they are INFPs and have even spoken with them about their social anxiety/insecurities/etc., it's still hard for me to imagine that there could be anything insecure beneath their cool exteriors.

I don't mean any of that as a criticism. I am just really surprised and fascinated by how fellow INFPs actually come across IRL. It seems so different from the way I feel on the inside, and I have to wonder whether I give off the same impression these women do and just don't know it. I kind of hope I do, haha ... I want to be intimidating, too, dangit! Although that's probably a lost cause ... a stranger on a bus a few months ago told me I seem "like a flower, normal and sweet."

(On a side note, I wonder if this intimidating/sweet dichotomy is the difference between INFPs who are more "Fi flavored" and those who are more "Ne flavored" when communicating?)

 

[nolla]

Oh, Rhapsody, your post reminded me. Yeah, some people get this super-optimistic vibe from me. And someone told me I'm a surviver (more in the adaptive way, not the hunter-gatherer way).

 

[OrangeAppled]

my closest friend, isfj, tells me that I give off an air of being a stuck up and an impression of being really weird (though not in a good way) and confused

I am a woman but I've been told I am intimidating, especially the "looks" I supposidily give from my eyes. Nine times out of ten when I am supposed to be giving one of these looks, my mind is a million miles away.

Yep...I've experienced both of these. People often misread my reserve/shyness as aloof, snobby, and intimidating. One of my close friends thought I was glaring at her at first, when I was just staring off into space, and later she discovered I'm not the catty type at all & am very open to making new girl friends.

Sometimes people underestimate my intelligence because I can seem spacey (I'm zoning out or talking in some random Ne manner). I think that can come off as dorky/awkward too.

I've also had people think I'm sweet and gentle. Strangers and new acquaintances will often confide in me & seek me out for emotional support, so some people must pick up a caring, open demeanor where others misread me as unfriendly.

I'm pretty sure I come off as odd/weird, but no one actually says this to me.

Once people get to know me, the often tell me how their perception of me changed dramatically from their first impressions.

 

[BRMC117]

I've also had people think I'm sweet and gentle. Strangers and new acquaintances will often confide in me & seek me out for emotional support, so some people must pick up a caring, open demeanor where others misread me as unfriendly.

I'm pretty sure I come off as odd/weird, but no one actually says this to me.

Once people get to know me, the often tell me how their perception of me changed dramatically from their first impressions.

HA, I have the same thing happen to me to.

 

[Manimal]

Ive been told a few times by both men and women that they think I'm intimidating.

I also seem to have a sign on my head that says 2 things:
Yes I not only want to give you my money I also want to talk to you at length cause I have nothing better to do

and

If you are mentally handicapped please give me a big wet kiss

 

[heart]

Yep...I've experienced both of these. People often misread my reserve/shyness as aloof, snobby, and intimidating. One of my close friends thought I was glaring at her at first, when I was just staring off into space, and later she discovered I'm not the catty type at all & am very open to making new girl friends.

Even people who tell me to my face that I am snobby, too aloof, too weird, they all come around when they need someone to listen them vent about their feelings or if they want to make a confessional about something that's bothering them. And I usually always listen. Then they go back to their usual stance and I am left remembering their deep, dark secrets. Life can be so surreal.

I'm pretty sure I come off as odd/weird, but no one actually says this to me.

Folks are never so shy around me.

 

[simulatedworld]

I hear a lot of "women don't like me" from a lot of women that I know.

What types do most women like to see in other women, then?

 

[Lacey]

I've had people tell me I seem friendly and approachable. I was surprised...I think maybe it's because I smile a lot.

I don't have problems with other women. I'm friends with more women than men.

Sometimes people underestimate my intelligence because I can seem spacey (I'm zoning out or talking in some random Ne manner).

Yeah, I get this too. I can be pretty oblivious to the outside world. I also tend to take more time than average to answer questions. I have to think about what the "real" answer is, right? haha So, yeah, I've had some people talk down to me because they think I'm slow or stupid. Then they get a surprise, because the "nice, quiet" girl suddenly gets snappy.

People have a really hard time telling when I'm being serious and when I'm joking.

I get called "laid-back" A LOT.

It seems like people are either really amused by me, or find me completely boring.

I don't really know what else.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I don't have problems with other women.

I don't either....people who misread me come in both genders. I generally get along just fine with women I interact with. I don't have drama in my life.

What types do most women like to see in other women, then?

Most of my female friends are Feeling types, but that could be statistical. My closest female friends have always been ESFP or ENFP. I've had T women friends and they're usually ST, except for ESTJs, who are kept at arm's length.

 

[Synapse]

I have problems of some sort. I just can't quite pin point what they are. Its almost like people feel uncomfortable in my presence or there is this awkwardness that seems to befall the people in a hush. Then I try to break the ice by saying something and usually it gets much more awkward.

I do give off a vibe, there is definitely some kind of vibe that carries.

The pretending homeless think I am an easy target, the business world thinks I'm a bumbling clumsy contradiction while my friends feel slightly on edge as they have to draw action points out of me.