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  1. #51
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Why are NFs being put all in the same bag? And why only women?

  2. #52
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Default Right on

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    In regard to your situation:
    Your involvement or lack of involvement with the NFs is what flicked that switch...
    I've dropped people before because they have tried to manipulate or debase me immensely or because we weren't close in the first place. I have a specific amount of effort i'll make for people so it requires meeting in the middle most times...
    I never drop people who meet me in the middle with the friendship/acquaintanceship and who respect that i'm a human being.
    It feels like that is extremely valuable to any NF so we don't take it lightly when something is amiss..
    I think this quote above and what Vasilisa said just above are pretty much the options on why you would get dropped.

    For me,
    1)People who don't do their share of work in the relationship are my past drops ( but reading a post I realized we do get intense, forgot that part)
    2) Dependent ISFP with low self-esteeem (look at Vasilia's quiote for dead on reason)
    3) wasn't close with an ENFP who was over sensitive, conflict mess so it was easy to cut
    3) I think now I can understand the last and worst drop was a lack of emotional connection that I identified too late b/c we idealize. But in the span of time I got exhausted and realized they couldn't open up or were so incapable of sharing their feelings. That will snap me because it starves me.
    4) keep my composure ( I would fall into emotionalism)
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  3. #53

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    Reasons I'd drop people

    1. The relationship has zero potential and we are just doing useless stuff and kidding ourselves that we have any common ground. (slow drift away)
    2. The people are interpersonally destructive and I don't wish to support them in it or tolerate them. (more charged drift away after trying to clarify why it is a problem)
    3. Arrogance without anything to back it up annoys me. (respect drops and boredom follows)
    4. They eat up all my time so I never get to stop and explore any of the stuff I want to. (ease off, and if I can't get more time, eventually run for freedom)
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.
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  4. #54
    Senior Member Froody Blue Gem's Avatar
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    I would say when people are draining in general, or overstep boundaries. If I thought I could trust someone but then they turn around and show me that I was wrong. Or if people don't accept me for who I am. I'm reluctant to let people in in general. If I wasn't close to someone, I have no hesitations in dropping them if that happens but once we get to the deeper level, I have trouble letting go. But if someone intruded on my trust, it would be hard but I would and have done something like that.
    9w1 5w4 2w3 sp/so

    Stars that are long dead whose light is still traveling through time. It won't die, that's light. Maybe that's the only thing that never does.

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  5. #55
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    Um here, as an NF, is what I see wrong with above.

    If I was her, I would feel extremely degraded right now. You demoted me from lover to "booty call"? Do you think I have no values, no dignity? I will just wait till you ring a damn bell and kiss your pretty ass as if I don't have something better to do? Actually I don't even think this is type related, being mad about that, but maybe how it was handled.

    Most NFs (spare a few including myself) are fairly conflict avoidant. She was likely doing it back to you to possibly show you how demeaning it is to be ditched and reduced to a booty call in the excuse of "getting your life worked out." The first thing you need to work out is why you rather have a booty call than a commitment. If you don't want a relationship commitment don't start suggesting dating a friend or making a commitment. Go get an actual booty call or something, your friends aren't obliged to demean themselves like that.

    Frankly I would've done a lot damn worse to you if you suggested I should be your booty call so she's being gentle to you. Don't even act like you're a victim here.

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