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[ENFP] Hey ENFP, what do you think of the INTP?

Waffle

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There are crazy stories about these two chemistry matches. Everything from magic, to a couple about automatic dislike, to leaving a hole in your heart.
Personally I think it could be one fo the best MBTI matches. INTPs let ENFPs take the spotlight, and can be emotional and need us to soothe their worries.
But I see nothing but sob stories about ENFP-INTP relationships.
It usually ends with the ENFP leaving and breaking the INTP's heart. A lot of people blame the ENFP's superficiality, or lack of interest.
The way I could see it going wrong is:
Instant chemistry. It's intense and everything feels perfect and matched. The INTP begins to worry that the ENFP doesn't feel the same, and being that we usually have to prod them a little to get their deeper emotions out, they don't tell us. Instead they distance themselves, and the ENFp takes this so completely the wrong way. They feel like the INTP doesn't like them anymore and end up leaving for fear of being hurt or hurting the INTP.


I'm currently in a long-lasting INTP-ENFP relationship, and we both recognize the signs of the story above. We've worked out a damn good system. It's still a little disheartening to see nothing but sad stories.

So guys, what's your take on ENFP-INTP relations and the INTP in general?
 
G

garbage

Guest
Seems like it could work under the right circumstances.

They're cute in social situations, and it's refreshing that they don't seem to give a damn about them sometimes. Oh, and they like at least a sprinkling of independence, which is nice.

As long as they're not one of those terribly stubborn types. There's nothing worse than someone who thinks that they're right and can't change their mind and thinks that their view is the absolute objective truth.
 

Amargith

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I find the chemistry can be incredible with INTPs, and usually instantaneous almost. I can see it working, but what usually makes me decide against it for long-term is the fact that you inevitably get that miscommunication between Fi,Ti,Te and Fe. And it takes forever to get those miscommunications sorted, I find. I find that while with NTJs it takes slower to build up to that same intensity, the communication is more natural and gives less head aches.
 

Laurie

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I have trouble taking INTPs seriously. I'm not sure why.
 

Chloe

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I am not sure what do I think about this combo. Maybe when I meet a normal INTP I will be able to tell. You know... most were too much of a mess to know how it works when they're healthy.

My one ex was INTP. my dad was INTP. and one dude I was in some half-relationship with was INTP. all of them were huge mess.
 

Queen Kat

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I like most INTPs. Some of them are really fascinating, but others can be just a bit too abstract to me, like as if their brains are living in some other universe. My relationships with with INTPs are nothing special. I like talking with them and stuff, but I prefer studying them from afar. They're fun, but I get enough of INTPs quickly.
 

MacGuffin

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Screw you all!

:cry:
 
G

garbage

Guest
Screw you all!

:cry:

Except me and the OP, right? Please tell us that we're special.


So what do INTPs think of us? Be gentle, lest there be some way for us to interpret your opinions as personal criticisms and then cry.
 

Lady_X

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i still don't know any outside of the forums...but i like em. they seem really funny in that odd way that i love. :)
 

Little Linguist

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Well I don't know about ENFPs, but I think IXTPs are pretty freaking awesome. :wubbie:
 

Laurie

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i still don't know any outside of the forums...but i like em. they seem really funny in that odd way that i love. :)

I agree. I must have run into some in engineering but there was no lasting connection, apparently.
 

Little Linguist

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My husband is an INxP according to cognitive function analysis....INTP with a very close Fi Ti>Fi>Ne....He's freaking AWESOME!!!!!!

I mean, sure there are times where I could really just RAWRRRRRRRRRRR but that's the case in any relationship.
 
G

garbage

Guest
I agree. I must have run into some in engineering but there was no lasting connection, apparently.

I was in engineering, too, so I must have run into them then. But I didn't interact with them much in the classroom.

Nowadays, I tend to see them at dance lessons and such, where there's forced interaction--rotating partners and such. That's probably one of the few ways to "truly" notice them.
 

Laurie

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I don't know if I would recognize one.
 

INTPness

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My ENFP experience:

1. "You're kind of different." "Yeah, you too, but I like that." "Me too." "Let's hang out." "OK."
2. Off-the-charts connection for several weeks.
3. We begin to grow closer as friends, to hang out more, discuss more things, etc.
4. She seems "frustrated" when I don't want to hang out all the time or when I'm not giving her some sort of attention. I being to wonder if she's developing feelings.
5. I ask her straight out if she is developing feelings and remind her that we are just friends. She beats around the bush and continues to seem "frustrated", even a bit "possessive". I ask again and remind her again, "Can we continue to be friends or do we need to stop being friends? It seems like the dynamics of our relationship have changed and that I disappoint you if I don't want to hang out with you."
6. Over the next few weeks, she backs off a bit, but is very moody and tries to throw in sharp, rude comments. I either ignore them, or call her out on them and it turns into a F vs. T pissing contest, which I have no time or desire for.
7. She turns up the pressure, so-to-speak, and starts to ask indirect questions like, "Do you think you're afraid of commitment?" "Do you think you'll ever get married?" "When people want to visit/hang out, you have to say yes so that you can get to know people better." I "finally" read between the lines and realize that she has deep feelings (I'm INTP, cut me some slack). But, I don't feel the same way.
8. As this continues and continues, I get fed up and say, "I don't want to be with you" and proceed to give her about 8 or 10 reasons why.
9. She wants nothing to do with me for a LONG time.
10. When we finally talk again (well over a year later), she is still reeling from the experience, has a hole in her heart, can't believe I did "that" to her (????????).

I know that's just one ENFP experience, but I'm still very confused. All I know is it was really, really awesome for about 2-3 months. How nice it would be to have that "friendship" back.
 

Laurie

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I know that's just one ENFP experience, but I'm still very confused. All I know is it was really, really awesome for about 2-3 months. How nice it would be to have that "friendship" back.

She is probably confused too and thinks you screwed up.

Seems to be a good connection but unless you define what's going on you might each get caught in guessing.
 

sculpting

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My ENFP experience:

1. "You're kind of different." "Yeah, you too, but I like that." "Me too." "Let's hang out." "OK."
2. Off-the-charts connection for several weeks.
3. We begin to grow closer as friends, to hang out more, discuss more things, etc.
4. She seems "frustrated" when I don't want to hang out all the time or when I'm not giving her some sort of attention. I being to wonder if she's developing feelings.
5. I ask her straight out if she is developing feelings and remind her that we are just friends. She beats around the bush and continues to seem "frustrated", even a bit "possessive". I ask again and remind her again, "Can we continue to be friends or do we need to stop being friends? It seems like the dynamics of our relationship have changed and that I disappoint you if I don't want to hang out with you."
6. Over the next few weeks, she backs off a bit, but is very moody and tries to throw in sharp, rude comments. I either ignore them, or call her out on them and it turns into a F vs. T pissing contest, which I have no time or desire for.
7. She turns up the pressure, so-to-speak, and starts to ask indirect questions like, "Do you think you're afraid of commitment?" "Do you think you'll ever get married?" "When people want to visit/hang out, you have to say yes so that you can get to know people better." I "finally" read between the lines and realize that she has deep feelings (I'm INTP, cut me some slack). But, I don't feel the same way.
8. As this continues and continues, I get fed up and say, "I don't want to be with you" and proceed to give her about 8 or 10 reasons why.
9. She wants nothing to do with me for a LONG time.
10. When we finally talk again (well over a year later), she is still reeling from the experience, has a hole in her heart, can't believe I did "that" to her (????????).

I know that's just one ENFP experience, but I'm still very confused. All I know is it was really, really awesome for about 2-3 months. How nice it would be to have that "friendship" back.

By chance were you letting her see your Fe at all? Us silly enfps cant tell the diff between it and Fi, and it will break our hearts if we mistake the Fe social sweetness for an Fi emotional connection. I did this with an ENTP guy, so maybe you might have done this on accident? It would explain a lot.
For here, it likely did hurt and feel like rejection, but it is really may have just been a mistranslation.

I know lots of INTPs. They are pretty odd, but I am very odd as well, so we bond over our strangeness.

They think I am very funny, as nothing breaks up the Ti idea train more than NeFi insanity. I make them giggle. Short term I think we could have lots of fun, but I am afraidd long term I would bore them as I can only think with Te, not Ti, thus I could not follow their thoughts.

As above, also I am afraid the Fe they would seek to bond with might not transfer quite right and I would emo overwhelm them.

It would likely really depend on how much intellectual connection/stimulus the INTP needed and if he had a source of that in other places and was content to not to get all of that with the enfp.

Both of my good INTP friends are married to FJs-an ENFJ and an ISFJ maybe?
 

kyuuei

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I'm with LL on this. :heart: INTPs..
 

INTPness

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By chance were you letting her see your Fe at all? Us silly enfps cant tell the diff between it and Fi, and it will break our hearts if we mistake the Fe social sweetness for an Fi emotional connection.

Yes, looking back on it, I believe this is what happened. That's a really good explanation that you laid out. She apparently thought that we had been falling in love the whole time (or connecting emotionally), while I was just loving the Ne connection. And when I can connect with someone like we did, then I usually open up all avenues of communication to that person. They will see both Ne and Fe.

Also, why is it that when an ENFP sees me use Ti in a social setting (blunt, direct, maybe even somewhat harsh), I get the following reaction?

:shock: (a short pause), and then: :wubbie:
 
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