Hehe, and if we like you we will quickly notice you are gone, spin on our heels, and skip along behind you peeking at you out of the corner of our eyes! "Where are you going silly ? Are you pouting???" and we will quietly wait for you. It becomes a game....(Hmmm, is this our version of flirting like the Fe's do?)
Yeah, and that can go either way too, the frosty burn or the sigh and the explanation.
I have only seen one ISTJ tap into Ne-and he is under massive stress. I think that the Se-Si would be a more surmountable issue than the Ne-Si barrier.
Well see, there's two more likely conflict scenarios for INTJ/ENFP: Ne vs Se and Ne vs Ni.
Ni is an introverted function, so by and large it is done in private without much consultation. So the first conflict area for INTJ/ENFP is Ne vs Se. It goes like this:
- INTJ conceives of a plan (Ni+Te)
- INTJ worries aloud to supporting ENFP, seeking Fi.
- ENFP is entertained: Ne is making the connections, Fi is sharing the emo, and woo, Te is engaged and that's exciting.
- INTJ, supported, lights the afterburners, Se.
- ENFP is shut down.
See, INTJ Se is an end-stage device. The possibilities have been assessed, a plan has been devised, feeling is in place, so: act. At this stage the novelty and fluidity zone is all physical. The eyes see and seek immediately present options for completion of the set adventure. This is NOT a time for possibilities and intuitions. If it is, it means something has gone so wrong that the original plan has had to be re-assessed. Basically, INTJ in Se-mode is not listening to intuition and will not welcome it as a conscious interruption. The program has been set, the long-range stage management has been conceptualised, re-conceptualising is an out of place process here.
So what does an ENFP do at this point? Recoil, I guess. Certainly she is restricted in her involvement in the scene. I can't emphasize enough how little extroverted intuition is welcome at the end stage of a plan. The end stage is for doing, not second-guessing. The doing is not expected to create any surprises. It is expected to open up practical options for the next step of the plan. It is not meant to create new ideas, just new options. It actually will create new ideas, but it is the options that were the target. The INTJ will not welcome discussion of what it all means UNLESS the dictated action has been performed. Shut your mouth woman and perform.
And I'm not seeing an ENFP living too long--not more than several years anyway--with that kind of treatment.
It all gets worse however. At some point the INTJ will open up. He'll allow information out at earlier stages. Then instead of expecting the ENFP to ESFP-like join in at the end stage of the thinking process, the ENFP gets let in at the N-stage. She becomes part of his life. And it goes like this:
- ENFP and INTJ trade intuitions, riffing on possibilities.
- ENFP and INTJ balance each other on thinking and feeling, exciting each other with their support
- ENFP and INTJ engage in end-stage activities together, the ENFP being somewhat conservative in Si-mode and the INTJ being somewhat immaturely wild in Se-mode.
- they divorce after a few years.
Why? Because there's still that in-the-moment conflict. At the intuition stage Ni still gets over-whelmed with the sheer needless amount of tangential material to bat away from the ENFP, and either way focuses hard so the ENFP is always getting ideas knocked back. And down at the end stage stuff, there's still the Ne vs Se conflict because Si didn't last that long up against Se and all the in-the-momentness of it called Ne out to not-play.
All up, because there's the thinking feeling exchange, it's a situation that the ENFP can derive enough satisfaction from that she'll stick it out for several years. And during those years a sense of confinement and restriction will be a source of growing, unvoiced resentment. Eventually she'll have to be free. And the INTJ? Well, it depends how much of the INTJ's money the ENFP spent during those years.
Does an ISTJ do this crap any better? He's not supposed to, is he? ISTJ and ENFP get to negotiate in the middle of the story, do we do it the traditional way I know well or do we do it the unlikely and colorful new way you think might work. They get screwed if either the ISTJ really doesn't know anything about responding to feeling and/or the ENFP really doesn't know anything about planning.
