huh. this is an intense thread. interesting, but intense.

Quote Originally Posted by neptunesnet View Post
I'm a southern and many of the customs seem to be Fe-based. There is a lot of importance on what is socially appropriate. On one hand, I really like the fact that I can go out in public and be greeted kindly by complete strangers. However, I also like the fact that whenever I visit family up north that usually when I'm greeted it's, like you said, because the people are genuinely interested in me.
this is such a good point! i was born and live in the south but my family is northern, and i agree that southern culture is more Fe and northern is more Fi. i do really love southern hospitality and am quite well-versed in it, but in a lot of ways i still relax when i go up north, because up there it's not really held against me if i'm not immediately friendly or accommodating.

Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
You're already claiming the apex of emotional intelligence: empathy. Any student of psychology or casual self-help book puts empathy at the top of the emotional food chain and evidently NFPs are naturally predisposed towards that than any other type. I can't do anything better than that! You have the golden ticket!
this is interesting. i'm psych student and i dunno if i'd put empathy at the top of the emotional food chain. more like self-esteem, actually.

i envy NiFe a lot regardless of who lays claim to empathy. if there's one function i'm really impressed by and covet, it'd be Ni. i don't really get why empathy is the "golden ticket", but it does kinda suggest why you're adamant that it does not belong to Fi.

Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
You're welcome! I am your humble servant.

To my mind, the process should be as follows:

* Pang of emotional reaction
* Check the emotional reaction for reasonability and consonance with reality.

so simple and well-put! i completely agree with you. when Te is working well for me, this happens.

Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
For us (well, some of us) emotions are not inherently threatening. They just are. Plus they often carry meaningful data with them. When I feel irritated at someone, I ask why. That irritation is important information and may indicate subtle things like underhanded manipulation on the other person's part. My irritation isn't the only truth, but it represents a bunch of subtle, unconscious judgments and should be taken seriously. On the other hand, if I'm irritated just because the other person has a habit of saying "ummm" every other word... not so important.
very much yes, to this. emotions can be annoying or upsetting, but are generally not threatening. like seymour said, they just are. they tell me things and i can alter them to a certain extent if i choose to do so. but often i do not want to - just like i tend not to take drugs unless it's very important. the signals i am receiving from my body and mind are indicators of something - a fever indicating increased immune response and uneasiness indicating incongruity in a situation. if i read these signals well, they tell me how to take care of myself as well as how better to interact with the world at the given time.

Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
The funny part is that I know I'm an arrogant ass... the thing is, my little bro knows that I've got his back 24/7/365. I think that might be the key for Fi-users... if they know you'll be there for them no matter what, there's less likelihood for them to interpret your actions outside of good faith.
haha, yeah, this is true.

Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
You know a super simple personal understanding of Fe vs Fi is that Fe is that warm, outgoing even touchy feely quality in people. Fe is confidently coming up to strangers and hugging them.

Fe and Fi irl from what Ive seen feel very different. Fi is often cold and prickly and awkward and self conscious itself unless buffered with other aspects.
to me, the big difference is that Fi feels passive while Fe feeks active - so Fi is just accepting, while Fe is actively warm. or cold, depending. i don't get "cold" so much out of Fi as simply uninterested (which can feel "cruel" too). Fi is simply not as aware or intentional, regardless of whether that contributes to the impression being good, or bad.

Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
I stopped reading fiction years and years ago because many authors have no respect for the emotional journey they are taking their readers on. I watch movies and they are very visceral to me; I find it a challenge to be emotionally detached.
me too! i cannot do those books written for women about other women like a lot of my friends read. they affect me too much. i avoid some movies, too. i like action and adventure and fun. i have enough emotion in my life already, thx, i don't want a tearjerker movie.

oddly enough this makes me way more likely to enjoy moviegoing with an STP or other such type than another NF.

Lets assume we have an innate ability to feel the emotions of others. But we learn how to understand them, by using the critical analysis you describe above. Just like NT's hone their natural talents as well.
yes!!! Fi is a mirror for feeling, but not necessarily for understanding. we have to interpret motivation, and we don't know. we can't even pinpoint emotion, but it's a certain 6th sense of just... well, picking up on "feelings." just like Ti has a 6th sense for whether something's gonna work. i would hate to ever assume that i understand exactly what another person is going through. but it's easy for me to be where they are at, so to speak. to get right on their emotional level, so i can begin to see things from where they are. and that makes it easier to understand their point of view, but also easier to lose my own.

And this makes Fe sound like it lacks a set of fundamental values, an ethical core, since you say it can change basically at whim. If an Fe user were transplanted into another culture, theoretically it would be easy for them to change their behaviour to meet the new standards (once understood). But would Fe users say this sounds like them?
well, i do feel like i have decent Fe, but i did this when i moved abroad for a while too. it was fun changing to meet the new culture, but i didn't feel like i was selling out or anything because i was still being myself, just in a different way.