[ENFJ] Are ENFJs infamous for dropping off the face of the planet?

[Glycerine]

I have noticed this particular behavior within myself. I won't contact people for 3-6 months at a time but they are always on my mind. I just always have something going on that contacting them slips my mind. Is my Fe just very screwed up?

 

[Little Linguist]

Oh, dear lord, I do the same thing. Then I pop back up again unexpectedly. However, people generally realize this is not somehow intentional on my part, so they put up with my craziness.

It's not that I'm flippant or do not care. I have to analyze a little bit more why I do it. It's not really intentional, and it is not because I do not want to hang out. It's just that when things get really busy or overload, I need to cut back on some things. Then, I really miss the people and want to hang out again....but then things get too much again....and then I miss them again....It's quite bizarre, but there are only so many hours a day.

I think you also wear out your Fe after a while. So you need times in between to re-charge the battery, so to speak. Otherwise, you get grumpy and just think, "Damn it, don't I have any time for myself?" And you start resenting the very people you love so much. So a break is necessary in between.

 

[Unkindloving]

Hm.. I don't have the best insight, but i don't tend to be like that unless i had a falling out with someone. If i am it's just because i have too many acquaintances.
Perhaps you just need to make memos .

Is it with everyone or certain people?

 

[Glycerine]

pretty much w/ everyone... but more w/ close friends. I must just be really spacey.

 

[Little Linguist]

Just speaking for myself, it generally happens when I have too much on my plate - like right now, with four jobs - and I just want my me time for me....

But Pitsy might think differently....

The problem is I have a really awful tendency to take too much on myself because I want to be everything to everyone and be super woman, and in the end, I over-stretch myself.

 

[Glycerine]

haha, that makes sense. I have been SUPER busy and stressed w/ school so I have been putting all my time and energy into it.

 

[Little Linguist]

See, there you go!

Over time I have learned that I explode if I have too many obligations and do not prioritize them. Because I am perfectionistic, I do tend to place a great deal of effort and energy into one area of my life and neglect another one. I'm not saying that is the right thing to do - a bit more balance would be super - but I suppose that is the reason why it happens.

 

[Glycerine]

See, there you go!

Over time I have learned that I explode if I have too many obligations and do not prioritize them. Because I am perfectionistic, I do tend to place a great deal of effort and energy into one area of my life and neglect another one. I'm not saying that is the right thing to do - a bit more balance would be super - but I suppose that is the reason why it happens.

Yay for ENFJ anal retentive perfectionistic tendencies!

 

[Little Linguist]

Hey, someone's gotta take charge and do the job right!!!

(e.g. effectively without stepping on other people's toes!)

Hehehe, just kidding.

 

[*poke*]

I find that I do this too. I think it's a combination of trying to do too much and then getting overwhelmed and shutting everything out for a while, then jumping back in to doing too much... and just the NF feeling that deep connection with the people I am especially close to, feeling such a bond that I know it's okay to not see them for a while because nothing will change. My best friend is an ENFP and I see her only 3-4 times a year, and although we both have busy lives and sometimes completely fail at keeping in touch, we always feel that connection that says it's alright. Realizing how much of her life I miss out on my taking that for granted however has started to modify my behavior.

 

[Chloe]

I have noticed this particular behavior within myself. I won't contact people for 3-6 months at a time but they are always on my mind. I just always have something going on that contacting them slips my mind. Is my Fe just very screwed up?

i do that, my ESTP friend does it too (though i am not sure they are always on her mind though !) an ENFJ friend I used to have doesnt do that.

 

[Domino]

You may be experiencing Fe burn out. I have flares of socializing, hot and heavy, and then I have to recharge.

 

[JoSunshine]

Can't say I do this...I am steady-eddie with my nearest and dearest. Every once in a blue moon I will need to "re-charge the batteries", but I inform everyone that I am taking a sebatical (usually just a few days) so they know that I haven't forgotten about them. Of course, I think I have way fewer friends than a typical ENFJ, so that probably helps...and even at that I still do get overwhelmed at times, hence the need to re-charge the old batteries