[MBTI General] What kind of people do you attract romantically?

[DiscoBiscuit]

I would like to think that I attract a little bit of every kind

 

[theadoor]

Mostly, IMHO narrow minded or intellectually weak persons or people who are basically OK persons, but I see them more as friends not potential dates. Sucks to be me, lol

 

[TickTock]

All the colours of the bow. Actually there are still some types I haven't managed to tick yet. It's actually not always a good thing to love variety.

 

[tcda]

Mostly, IMHO narrow minded or intellectually weak persons or people who are basically OK persons, but I see them more as friends not potential dates. Sucks to be me, lol

sucks more to be them by the sounds of it.

 

[Abraxas]

Weaklings who are looking for a strong figure to use as a crutch.

 

[Lauren]

I am actually quite good at hearing what isn't being said, but I like to have tangible proof of that. S vs N in this context may in part be a difference of motivations and methods of gaining attention. Ns send out very subtle signals, and want another N to pick up on these. My thoughts when I pick up on these signals is "well if they really liked me they would do something about it" (this is assuming that I am not too crazy about them).

And on the contrary, it makes me very uncomfortable when things like this are vague, while it makes you uncomfortable to be blunt.

When I'm interested in an N and they're interested in me, it works out though. I pick up on the nuances, and then I take action to take things further. But if it's one sided it's a bit weird.

Yeah when people are being too ambiguous I just drop the entire thing and get frustrated (it's usually noticeable). An example of that was an ENFP chick liked me a lot, and she was being very hot and cold. She would just continue to be ambiguous when I was asking questions to understand her positions, and I just gave up entirely. She didn't understand it, was asking me what was wrong, etc. Ugh. She obviously liked me, but didn't seem to want to date or anything like that. Confused the hell out of me to say the least. I think that ENFPs use their Ne to be ambiguous, and with their understanding of Fi know how to use this to affect people even more with their ambiguities. I like ENTPs though, their Ne Fe combo makes the implications a lot more obvious, and even fun to figure out.

I have a better understanding of where you're coming from. I understand why you would get frustrated by the hot and cold. That frustrates me too (to no end). That's different than what I was thinking of, which is someone who, though subtle means, lets you know they're interested but then follows through with an indication they're willing to take it further. I don't dislike bluntness--as a matter of fact at some point I need it.

When you say that "if they really liked me they'd do something about it," fear of rejection (sensitivity) might keep an NF from being too direct. Though it sounds like the issue here is that you're being pretty direct about your interest and they're not giving you any clear signals at all, just blowing hot and cold. An NF (or this one anyway) will step out of her Fi and Ni and risk letting a man know they're interested by complimenting them, asking them out, but stopping short of actually saying..."I'm interested, are you?" At least I can't do that when my heart is too vested in the person. I would need him to take a chance...or just make it clear, and ask me out to dinner or over to his place.

"When I'm interested in an N and they're interested in me, it works out though. I pick up on the nuances, and then I take action to take things further. But if it's one sided it's a bit weird."

This helps me in understanding the male perspective, especially in my current situation. My friend has definitely picked up on my nuances, and I'm waiting now for him to take it further. I've been conflicted thinking that I need to be more blunt--to let him know I've been attracted to him for some time. But that's just too risky for me (we work fairly closely together). Doesn't a man usually take this step? We are both INXP; I feel he knows what's going on between us as he initiated things with me. There's been romantic light touching, obvious flirtation, laughter, great communication, and a genuine understanding and care for one another. All of that (or most of it) has been in a work context. We have gone out together for lunch and I've asked him), and the interest never flags.

 

[BlackCat]

That's different than what I was thinking of, which is someone who, though subtle means, lets you know they're interested but then follows through with an indication they're willing to take it further. I don't dislike bluntness--as a matter of fact at some point I need it.

Ah that works as well. If you're implying something, and I respond in kind and you follow through; then things should be fine.

When you say that "if they really liked me they'd do something about it," fear of rejection (sensitivity) might keep an NF from being too direct. Though it sounds like the issue here is that you're being pretty direct about your interest and they're not giving you any clear signals at all, just blowing hot and cold. An NF (or this one anyway) will step out of her Fi and Ni and risk letting a man know they're interested by complimenting them, asking them out, but stopping short of actually saying..."I'm interested, are you?" At least I can't do that when my heart is too vested in the person. I would need him to take a chance...or just make it clear, and ask me out to dinner or over to his place.

Bolded is exactly the issue. There is signaling, then I follow up that signaling, but it's one sided there. They don't reciprocate. Asking someone out is a blatant display of interest, and as long as you stay true to that interest and don't respond in an ambiguous way, it will all be smooth.

A certain level of vagueness is okay... but then there is that line where it seems like a pointless effort to constantly try to understand motivations. It's that tertiary Ni of IS_Ps, if it gets overworked we get very frustrated. We try to see where the person is coming from, and need Se information to confirm it.

I'm waiting now for him to take it further. I've been conflicted thinking that I need to be more blunt--to let him know I've been attracted to him for some time. But that's just too risky for me (we work fairly closely together). Doesn't a man usually take this step? We are both INXP; I feel he knows what's going on between us as he initiated things with me. There's been romantic light touching, obvious flirtation, laughter, great communication, and a genuine understanding and care for one another. All of that (or most of it) has been in a work context. We have gone out together for lunch and I've asked him), and the interest never flags.

Well of course he's not going to take the next step. How long have you been doing this with him? He's an INTP, they are pretty bad with emotions, especially romantic ones. It's a relief to them to have someone else do all of the initiating. He probably feels deeply for you but doesn't know what to do. Expecting that of him is futile... INTP males often get annoyed in romance because of the expectations put upon them like these.

It's not that he's not interested in you, it's that he doesn't know how to express it.

He will think very highly of you if you do the initiating.

When INTPs do come around to initiating, it's usually awkward and makes them uncomfortable. It usually takes them a while.

Honestly nothing bad will happen if you just ask him out, say that you would like to take the relationship further because you really like him. He'll probably be flattered.

Hopefully that helped, and good luck!

 

[Mad Hatter]

Doesn't a man usually take this step?

When INTPs do come around to initiating, it's usually awkward and makes them uncomfortable. It usually takes them a while.

That's 100% me (currently undergoing the F/T-questioning process .

Why wanna be usual anyway? There's an opportunity to do something special
If you like him, just ask away.
Occasions where I thought that I simply had to do it where rare, and the latest one ended horribly (and "It takes them a while" is putting it mildly in my case). I'd say do the guy a favor.
BTW, great post BC. Yet another piece of the puzzle

 

[mcmartinez84]

I personally like energetic people, happy people who aren't trying to play some mind game on me. I'm not into that. Just be blunt in your feelings and smooth in your approach and its a go

Thank goodness! Playing those games is not my cup of tea at all!

I like ENTPs though, their Ne Fe combo makes the implications a lot more obvious, and even fun to figure out.

I'm friends with an ENTP at work, we get lunch all of the time. He drives me crazy when it comes to how he thinks about anything. He comes up with some stuff that just leaves me scratching my head. Takes an N to understand an N, imo!

 

[Domino]

No. ENTPs are just lunatic ranters.

 

[EcK]

No. ENTPs are just lunatic ranters.

Yeah but then we can confuse you into believing we're brilliant

oh, you edited it! BAD PIZZA BAAD *cartoon fight*

 

[Domino]

Yeah but then we can confuse you into believing we're brilliant

Lunatic ranting, exhibit A...

oh, you edited it! BAD PIZZA BAAD *cartoon fight*

*begins to violently erase you starting with your big bear mouth*

 

[mcmartinez84]

Yeah but then we can confuse you into believing we're brilliant

oh, you edited it! BAD PIZZA BAAD *cartoon fight*

I know you guys are smart somewhere on the inside, but you sure have a strange way of showing it! I mean, this guy isn't stupid by any means. I just don't usually understand how he comes to any conclusions, even after he explains his thought process. I end up thinking "ok, so you have these facts and somehow you think it makes sense that....WHAT?!"

 

[EcK]

I know you guys are smart somewhere on the inside, but you sure have a strange way of showing it! I mean, this guy isn't stupid by any means. I just don't usually understand how he comes to any conclusions, even after he explains his thought process. I end up thinking "ok, so you have these facts and somehow you think it makes sense that....WHAT?!"

are you sure ur not describing an enfp ? : P

 

[mcmartinez84]

are you sure ur not describing an enfp ? : P

Haha, definitely ENTP

 

[EcK]

*begins to violently erase you starting with your big bear mouth*

Violence is for the weak!
*hypnotise you into forgeting he started the cartoon fight*

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Violence is for the weak!
*hypnotise you into forgeting he started the cartoon fight*

Violence is for when all reasonable means of negotiation have fallen by the wayside, and a colder hand is needed.

 

[EcK]

Haha, definitely ENTP

Dunno that particular one, but well, my conclusions always make sense. I know it might sound prepostorous, delusional etc. But well, I can always explain it if i really need to, its just that my mind does leaps naturally and it feels like explaining how a door knock works to give all the details some people seem to need to follow my train of thought. And i'm not saying that in the 'i'm smarter than you' way. I realise that my way of thinking isn't the best way to have an accurate answer. I also realise that I generally only communicate about 5% of what went on in my head, but kinestesic thinking is sort of hard to translate into words. It's also boring.

 

[Domino]

I know you guys are smart somewhere on the inside, but you sure have a strange way of showing it!

LOL!!!!.... you will marry me...

Violence is for the weak!
*hypnotise you into forgeting he started the cartoon fight*

It's on now, bear!

 

[EcK]

It's on now, bear!

I know you collect these day and night and store redbull cans in your fridge daily to keep up with the latest bear fashion