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[ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!

The Grand Chameleon

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
144
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w2
No, I don't suppose it would help :D. The ENFJ is now to the point that he sometimes adopts a slightly British speaking accent to sound more impressive during class (and he's from Minnesota, haha) :doh:. And he sends out sickeningly clever-ish emails full of PG-rated puns, witticisms, and inside jokes that are so transparently self-serving that I cringe when I read them, haha.

Oh crap, do I know you???
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
lol @ fake plummy accent.

You should tote around a little recorder, Orangey, and play back how he sounds to him. That might nip that strange behavior in the bud.
 

INTJ123

HAHHAHHAH!
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
777
MBTI Type
ESFP
enfj's.... they're okay... but the one I knew was a little shady, and greedy. and had issues with his masculinity
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Last night, my sister was talking on the phone with our longtime ISFP male friend, and one point I burst into the room to tell her something about dinner, and instead leant over and barked into the phone, "Nobody likes you! Get outta here!" which made both sis and ISFP friend dissolve into giggles. He said, "You know, Jaye, you're tolerably sane. Your sister, however, is a raving lunatic." I told him that I was going to come to his house and beat him up (perhaps with a frilly shoe), and that made him laugh even harder.

Apparently "lunatic" has been added to Hater's List. Whatever!
 

Jonathanthegreat

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
166
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I hate enfj's because they care about other people genuinely and that scares some people away.

Damn you Enfj's and your empathy.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
We can't help it, Johnathon. You yourself are great, and I know for a fact that I'm tolerably awesome in most scenarios, so it's just one of those crippling handicaps you have to learn to deal with, bro.
 

The Grand Chameleon

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
144
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w2
We can't help it, Johnathon. You yourself are great, and I know for a fact that I'm tolerably awesome in most scenarios, so it's just one of those crippling handicaps you have to learn to deal with, bro.

There's a wheelchair made for the ENFJ handicapped:

flame-throwing-wheelchair.jpg
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ROFL!!! That has at LEAST 12D+3 awesomeness!
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I wonder what would happen to the planet if about 30 of us convened in one room?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Indeed. So massive it doesn't even have an event horizon. And it has big jets of Awesome Plasma shooting out both sides because there's simply too much Awesome and some of it has to come sloshing back out. Scientists call it "Awesome Slosh".
 

Julie1962

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2009
Messages
138
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
5
I'm married to my ENFJ husband for 23 years. Love him but some things I hate are that he never admits when he is wrong, he can be self rightous, and he over extends himself at work and with volunteering for our church. He just can't say no.
 

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
1,210
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I can't hate ENFJs - it's impossible. Four of my favorite women are ENFJs. They're all wonderfully smart and kind.
 

ENFJ_Catholic

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
136
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Can I hate that I can't say no? Yes. No. Yes! Yes to what? I don't know. :newwink:

I hate that I can't say no...or at least, not very easily. Always the remorse...the first shall be last, and the last shall be first. :jesus:
 

ladypinkington

Rubber Nipple Salesperson
Joined
Jul 19, 2007
Messages
1,126
MBTI Type
INFJ
I had an issue with an ENFJ because they never seemed to pay attention- I would tell them things and share what I thought were meaningful exchanges- and they would completely forget because they were so involved with a million people. This was a consistant problem. It discourages even the attempts for any emotional intimacy. For me intimacy is key to friendship.

I also didn't like being told what I wanted to hear and not the truth and also witnessing the telling of everyone else what they wanted to hear and being told in private the opposite.
It makes compliments worse then insults when you feel they are ingenuine-even if they are not directed at you- if you see that dishonest behavior towards others-even pleasant dishonesty is still dishonesty- you don't trust anything said to you and I just found them to be very flaky. I greatly dislike trying to be everything to everyone, especially when it isn't authentic but out of a need to be the hero to stroke the ego.

I feel like you can't really get an idea of who the hell they are and that they really have no idea who you are. Being understood and understanding the other person is what I am all about and is a high high value so I am just left endlessly frustrated.

I guess bad boundaires where you say yes to everything is what I came across with an ENFJ and it made me say no to the relationship.

I am really burned with my last experience with an ENFJ but I think it would be wrong to assume all ENFJ's are like this- and they aren't bad people- or at least not worse then anyone else- we are all bad and good- but I am very skeptical if I could ever be in a close relationship with one again just because I think I am not compatible with their nature and values nor they with mine. I can appreciate them as long as I am not in a close relationship with them. The same is true for me with other people. I am not immune to being cryptonite for some.
 

The Grand Chameleon

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
144
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w2
I had an issue with an ENFJ because they never seemed to pay attention- I would tell them things and share what I thought were meaningful exchanges- and they would completely forget because they were so involved with a million people. This was a consistant problem. It discourages even the attempts for any emotional intimacy. For me intimacy is key to friendship.

I also didn't like being told what I wanted to hear and not the truth and also witnessing the telling of everyone else what they wanted to hear and being told in private the opposite.
It makes compliments worse then insults when you feel they are ingenuine-even if they are not directed at you- if you see that dishonest behavior towards others-even pleasant dishonesty is still dishonesty- you don't trust anything said to you and I just found them to be very flaky. I greatly dislike trying to be everything to everyone, especially when it isn't authentic but out of a need to be the hero to stroke the ego.

I feel like you can't really get an idea of who the hell they are and that they really have no idea who you are. Being understood and understanding the other person is what I am all about and is a high high value so I am just left endlessly frustrated.

I guess bad boundaires where you say yes to everything is what I came across with an ENFJ and it made me say no to the relationship.

I am really burned with my last experience with an ENFJ but I think it would be wrong to assume all ENFJ's are like this- and they aren't bad people- or at least not worse then anyone else- we are all bad and good- but I am very skeptical if I could ever be in a close relationship with one again just because I think I am not compatible with their nature and values nor they with mine. I can appreciate them as long as I am not in a close relationship with them. The same is true for me with other people. I am not immune to being cryptonite for some.

This is actually a direct answer to the OP! *insert gasp* I'm sorry you had such a negative experience with an ENFJ. It appears that this one was desperate for attention and praise, and let that rule above all else. Methinks this one tried to juggle too much with one hand, and as a result turned somewhat into a sour grape of our type. Although I do agree we can come off like this. :yes:
 

PoprocksAndCoke

A Benign Tumor
Joined
Nov 7, 2009
Messages
614
MBTI Type
ENTP
Some ENFJ comments that have annoyed me:

"You need to listen to me because I'm better with people and have read the Bible more than you." :shock:

Telling me that I need to obey my parents in all cases, even if I'm risking my life in the process. (Yes, really.)

And a general attitude of moral superiority because "people like me."

WHAT? There are ENFJs like that? That's not me at all)= Plus, no offense, I'm not a very religious person. I don't obey my parents in all cases and would never tell anyone else to do so. And I've always been afraid of acting superior and therefore act surprisingly inferior. Oh well, I suppose you aren't saying this applies to all of us.
 
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