[ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!

[Riva]

i know a ENFJ who is a complete jerk.

He is -
arrogant
narcissistic
over ambitious
self centered
manipulative
over analytical
image conscious
ass-holic
insensitive
controlling
etc...

and the worst thing about him is that everytime he takes a personality test he gets ENTJ.

 

[Synthetic Darkness]

...I'd assume he was an ENTJ then <_<

 

[Domino]

i know a ENFJ who is a complete jerk.

He is -
arrogant
narcissistic
over ambitious
self centered
manipulative
over analytical
image conscious
ass-holic
insensitive
controlling
etc...

and the worst thing about him is that everytime he takes a personality test he gets ENTJ.

haha! Wow! He sounds charming.

Both ENFJs and ENTJs can be all of these things listed (unfortunately ). I'd be inclined to believe he's an ENTJ according to the traits that I highlighted. But then again, an ENFJ on a rampage can be quite intolerable.

 

[Tiny Army]

Why can't all ENFJs be as sane as PinkPiranha?

 

[Domino]

Why can't all ENFJs be as sane as PinkPiranha?

You will marry me and be my woman now.

 

[Kalach]

Why can't all ENFJs be as sane as PinkPiranha?

They are.

 

[Tiny Army]

I can provide serious evidence that this is not the case.

 

[Von Mittendorf]

I can second that. there are wonderful and amazing ENFJs like pink pirhanna, but whoa, doggy if you land yourself a crazy one you are in for a wild and crazy Fe ride.

"Why doesn't anybody love meeeeeeee?"

I should probably mention that landing a crazy *anything* will be a headache, the type just determines what particular flavor of crazy you'll be getting. This is just my favorite flavor of ENFJ crazy.

 

[maerzhase]

I have a problem with ENFJ's neglect of their own needs. It is OK to want something. My question to you is, "what do you want?". Because I have observed ENFJ's give so much more than they are given.

I can relate to this one. It concerns me as well. I have a granny with that type. Being in her house makes me feel so uncomfortable. She still has these exceptional high standard as to catering for her guests. Only that now with her age close to 90 she is unable to provide. It bothers me because I can see her feeling frustrated because of this. The sad thing is that I don't want her to provide for me. Still she just can't let go.

 

[Kalach]

Hate an ENFJ? Naw. Get seriously pissed off? Yeah.

I say true things. That's what I do. Or, at least, when I speak, I expect what I say to be judged true or false. (And since it's Te, if it's true, then it's usually meant to be followed.) But in the company of ENFJ anything I say is assessed primarily for signs of immediate feeling, and as such my noise is just another datum, equal to any other, in an ongoing program of moment-to-moment human management. The terms of that management program are determined by the ENFJ, under which it is so very charming when other people try out directive language, almost as if they could escape the love.

ENFJs are all as much into domination as each other. The programs are fixed. It's what they do. I assume some of them can go off the rails and manage people far more than they should, but to cease management, to stop guiding people? That'd amount to turning off the dominant function, wouldn't it?

To have them hear another voice? You still have to be plugged into the Fe loop before you can be heard. Even if they're not nuts.




Yes, I am going too far to assert my independence.

 

[EcK]

I'm at war with pink.

'nouf said.

 

[ceecee]

....so give Brio the goods CeeCee....why are we so great??

I have good news and bad news. I'll do the bad news first.

Depressed ENFJs are the worst because they're so vocal and self centered about it. This guy actually complained once because I was having a really bad period and this meant he "had to be sensitive" and couldn't talk about how shitty his life was because he was being so sensitive to my pain. Gee, I'm sorry my cramps took away from the Tim and His Shitty Life Show.

Now I can understand a depressed ENFJ sucking the biggest suck that's ever sucked. But generally I have found the ENFJ man of mine more flabbergasted that he doesn't have a psychopath on his hands when cramps arrive. No, not every women is like your ex. I don't subscribe to PMS being a Get Out of Jail Free (and get out of any other sane behavior) card. You can stop being shocked now.

Also, how can we care this much about people and STILL have that powerful drive for conquest? That can't be a healthy pairing. It's bound to make me insane.

I think that may be some of the reason for their drive. I know it partially is for the man. You want success for yourself of course, but also to provide for those you love.

Wow....I don't get all this hate for we ENFJ's...

I understand all the emotion, passion, etc....can drive some crazy. But mainpulative? Is that really a quality of ENFJs?

You people are just jealous...

I can. They can be judgmental and manipulative and strict. And that high standards thing. It's not easy to love.

I'm not a baby!

(enfj parent)

By the way I think enfj's are GREAT role-models and great teachers/parents to teach about/pass on ethics and push the kid to the very best they can be (positive/negative). As in give their children the best tools possible (offer all kinds of possibilities to all kinds of activies, hobbies, clubs etc) and treat them as individuals.

ENFJ as a parent can be quite perfectionistic. I think it's not intentional in a negative way, I understand why they are that way, they just want their kids to have the very best (not in spoiling sense) and grow up to be the best they possibly can, with the world open for them.

No it's not intentional and it's not intended to drive them into the ground. Expectations again. And I think, mine anyway, believes they would have done better with a little parental pushing. Hence the push on their own children. He rewards effort though, I will give him that. And he is fair, never irrational when it comes to the children and he is so very loving, warm, approachable. He is the poster child for outstanding parenting and I'm not just saying that because he's daddy. I hear that from everyone.

 

[Tiny Army]

I become really emotional when I have my period but I am usually really aware of it.

There have been a number of incidents where I am just bawling my eyes out and my boyfriend is super concerned and all "Baby, why are you crying?" and I respond with "It's just hormones. Please ignore it."

Or when I get angry at him I always ask a roomate "Is this a rational reason to be mad or is this hormones mad?"

But back to ENFJs. Has anyone here met a bi-polar ENFJ? Fe + a rapid cycling mood disorder = no fun at all.

 

[Tiny Army]

I live with an ENTJ who calms herself down by repeating "It'll all be okay. You will crush them all when you are ruler of the universe." to herself.

She also owns a cape.

Edit: I totally posted after Ravana. WTF?

 

[Riva]

i know a ENFJ who is a complete jerk.

He is -
arrogant
narcissistic
over ambitious
self centered
manipulative
over analytical
image conscious
ass-holic
insensitive
controlling
etc...

and the worst thing about him is that everytime he takes a personality test he gets ENTJ.

...I'd assume he was an ENTJ then <_<

haha! Wow! He sounds charming.

Both ENFJs and ENTJs can be all of these things listed (unfortunately ). I'd be inclined to believe he's an ENTJ according to the traits that I highlighted. But then again, an ENFJ on a rampage can be quite intolerable.

i forgot to mention that he laughs like an evil overlord. and he speaks to himself as if he is a third person. and use the word 'lord' all the time when he does so.

maybe he is an ENTJ. a kinder version.

 

[ceecee]

I become really emotional when I have my period but I am usually really aware of it.

There have been a number of incidents where I am just bawling my eyes out and my boyfriend is super concerned and all "Baby, why are you crying?" and I respond with "It's just hormones. Please ignore it."

Or when I get angry at him I always ask a roomate "Is this a rational reason to be mad or is this hormones mad?"

But back to ENFJs. Has anyone here met a bi-polar ENFJ? Fe + a rapid cycling mood disorder = no fun at all.

Funny tidbit. Standing in the kitchen doing dishes. Massive cramp. Squat down because if I don't my knees are going to buckle.

Are you ok? Do you want to go to the hospital?
What are you talking about?
You look like you're dying.
Dude! Heating pad and the couch and some motrin ok.
Ok but this looks bad.
Yeah well I've been looking bad once a month since 1979.
You poor thing.
Don't touch me!



I'd think a bi-polar anyone is no fun at all. That would make me bawl my eyes out on my period.

 

[prplchknz]

some times NFJs are frustrating, they infer things about what the other person is feeling, and the other person is like no that's not what I feel. So it's like the NFJ is convinced their right but you're wrong about you're feelings, and it's like fine! you know what you're right I am mad at you for eating that donut, because I can go buy a knew donut. How can I look at you? you ate the last donut! and now i hate you and I will never forgive you.

ok usually not that dramatic, but I wanted to be overly dramatic.

PS no worries I don't hate any of you really, just drive me insane sometimes.

 

[Domino]

I'm at war with pink.

'nouf said.

Stop touching my boobs... Or don't.

*goes away to War Room to destroy the Scourge called Eck*

 

[Kalach]

I have good news and bad news. I'll do the bad news first.

Ceecee, can I pry? May I ask what's your secret?

Because though socionics is a pile of misorganised crap, for me INTJ/ENFJ works out more or less exactly as what they call a relationship of semi-duality. Viz:

Relations of Semi-Duality

These are relations of deficient Duality. Semi-Duality partners usually have no problems in understanding each other or each other's objectives, at least when these objectives are only on paper. When it comes to fulfilling joint plans, partners often fail to co-operate. The extrovert partner hardly listens to the introvert, concentrating more on the sound of their own voice. However, the introvert partner does not get upset about this and they often seem to find a way to adapt to it. Semi-Duals usually have many topics for conversation and these conversations do not seem to be boring.

Semi-Duals, especially if they are different in gender, can show interest in each other, which is multiplied if in addition they find each other attractive. However, when they feel like they are half way to complete understanding, one of them usually does something, not deliberately of course, that ruins all established harmony putting the partners right back to where they started. This is how incomplete Duality manifests itself.

Semi-Duality partners cannot stay upset with each other for a long time. After partners have calmed down, they attempt to get closer to each other again which unfortunately leads to another stumble. For the observer, these relations may seem really passionate and loving. Relations of Semi-Duality can be compared with the moth and the flame.

If not taken seriously, these relations can produce a little periodical shaking, keeping the partners "awake". Relations of Semi-Duality are also full of contrasts: from being happy to see partner again to sudden disappointment and bewilderment.

Kinda disappointed that everything runs so much on these kind of rails.

 

[Poki]

They get mad at you on other peoples behalf