[NF] NFs (INFPS) and xmas presents

[chris09]

Hello again!

For almost all of my life, I've been plagued by an inability to think of things I want for 'special' occasions, be they Birthday's, Christmas or whatever.

Just wondering if this is an NF type thing?

I mean, there are material things that I suppose would be nice to have, like a big new TV, or a ps3 or an iphone etc. But as much as I like the idea of them, I don't really care all that much if I have them or not.
I mean, sure, I'd like an iphone but meh, I can live without it.

So when people ask me "what do you want?" I can't give them an answer, and if I go away and think about it, I still don't get anywhere because I just keep dismissing anything I think of really.

An occasional person (if they don't know me very well) will say I'm "stingy" because I don't ever buy things. My friends don't think that though, because they've realized that I get way more excited about giving them stuff then I do about buying for myself.

Does anyone share my, umm... specialness...? lol

 

[Snuggletron]

I usually just don't want to spend money on anyone.

(mainly because I'm a poor student)

(I'm lazy too)

 

[OrangeAppled]

Yeah....I'm not good with small decisions like this. People ask me what I want and I cannot think of anything, and part of it is over-analyzing. I don't want to suggest something too expensive. I don't want to get so specific that I seem picky or that it's hard to find, or they don't even know what it is. I also don't want to suggest anything I'd rather buy for myself. And the list of worrying goes on...

Luckily, my ISFJ mom has a catalog in her brain of every little thing I ever mention about myself, and she seems to remember things I've said I like or is at least able to recommend stores I'd appreciate a gift certificate from. I also don't expect a lot with presents, so I am not hard to please anyway.

As for giving gifts, I draw blanks there also. I worry too much that a person may already have something or if there's some underlying tone to the gift, or if it's just lame. So I understand why people straight out ask me what I want, because I am not good at figuring it out for them either.

 

[Udog]

My issue is that I have expensive tastes. There is no way I'm asking for the things I really want for Christmas. (Laptop, exercise equipment, $3,000 Yamaha keyboard, $1,800 studio speakers, 2010 Camero , etc.)

There isn't all that much cheap stuff that I really want, and if I do want it, I just go out and buy it. So for Christmas, I write down a few music CDs, books, and movies that may have slipped through the cracks.

My family hates me.

When it comes to buying gifts for other people, the part I struggle with is remembering to put the brain time into thinking about it before the last minute. I usually come up with some pretty good ideas if I put the thought into it.

 

[Biaxident]

I never had many Christmases with lots of presents and/or nice things. So I suppose it translates into not expecting much.

I like blowing money on others, but don't ask me what I want.

I always seem to give good presents too. No one that I know of has ever been disappointed.

 

[Lacey]

I never know what I want either. I usually just say things that I need, then. Usually clothes and stuff like that. Sometimes I'll ask for books or music or video games or something. Boring... Not hard to shop for though, I guess. I'm not picky. I can't really think of a "bad" present that I've gotten. Pretty much whatever will make me happy.

I like buying people presents, but it also stresses me out. I worry too much if they'll like it or not. It's also pretty horrible in a time crunch. Like, if someones birthday is a week away and I need to think of something to get them, I can't for the life of me figure anything out. But...when I'm out and about, I'll make random gift discoveries. I'll see something, and think, "Oh, so-and-so would like this." Of course, I'd forget about it by the time a holiday rolled around. So I've learned to buy those things right away and save them 'til later.

 

[ergophobe]

Family members, if you're reading this, I really like it when you give me cash

 

[Queen Kat]

I love spending money on presents! Perfume always works with me, except when it's a perfume that no one knows. Sometimes I get these perfumes that were handed out for free because no one would buy it anyways. In that case you should really reconcider buying it. There are good cheep perfumes that I like. You can already buy them for 10 euros or something and I wouldn't mind getting those perfumes, absolutely not (last time I smelled this Hello Kitty perfume, it was very cheap and I still liked it). But don't give me the impression that you're just giving me something just so you can give me something while you don't even care.

 

[Litvyak]

Uh, it's Christmas soon. Hallelujah.

Family members, if you're reading this, I really like it when you give me cash

+1

 

[Matthew_Z]

I think it's an IP thing.

 

[OrangeAppled]

My issue is that I have expensive tastes.

That's my issue too, and part of the stress in giving an answer.

Like, if someones birthday is a week away and I need to think of something to get them, I can't for the life of me figure anything out. But...when I'm out and about, I'll make random gift discoveries. I'll see something, and think, "Oh, so-and-so would like this." Of course, I'd forget about it by the time a holiday rolled around. So I've learned to buy those things right away and save them 'til later.

I shop much better this way, even for myself. I enjoy that kind of shopping better too.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

My partner handled these matters. All I had to do was handle gifts for her. I always gave her excellent gifts. This arrangement worked perfect for me for many years.

As for gifts for me, I'm touched when they are crafted, homemade or written. I don't want commercial stuff, I can buy my own. The best gifts my partner gave me were usually romantic activity related vs. a physical item.

 

[Ekeh Mayu]

My wants usually derive in gender questionable clothes or presently obsolete items --- both that my family doesn't want to give me usually. If i'm not specific, i'll receive clothes I won't ever wear. If I am specific, i'm not sure if i'll ever get what I desire.
I used to not ask for anything, and my siblings and mothers said I was lying and just performing an act of self-pity. And it's true!

Some of the examples I asked for this year was a cane, a wand, a billy club, riding boots..
Then again, those aren't too specific.. I want a fairy costume.

 

[Southern Kross]

This so funny. Sometimes its hard to believe there are actually other people out there like this. I'm hopeless to buy presents for. I drive my family crazy.

I'm difficult for several reasons. I never want anything. I'm just not a stuff person - having meaningless crap scattered about the place is not of interest to me. Secondly, if I do actually want something its usually expense, eg. a new laptop, a trip overseas. Also, I'm extremely picky. You have to be very careful what you buy me, even if it seems like something I would want, because if its not exactly right I'm going to be disappointed.

I've tried to make it easier in recent years by making a list of possible presents (despite my aversion to this). Usually its made up of books, CDs, DVD, and stupid things I need rather than want. For one Christmas I asked for an umbrella. This is because I lost my last umbrella (as per usual) and needed a new one. I was a poor student and resented paying as much as you have to for a non-crap umbrella ("$30?! Stuff that!" ) so I put it off and walked around in the rain getting wet. Not very exciting present but better than some bath stuff or whatever that I'm never going to use.

 

[ceecee]

I shop year round for Christmas, as does my NF. If I hear them talk about something they want, I'll usually jot it down and get it as soon as I can. ENFJ man is great at finding deals, especially online so if it's a kid item, I let him know. He is fairly easy to buy for. Any bike/triathlon stuff that he doesn't have and occasionally tools. He likes gift cards but he won't give them to me as a gift. I don't know why this is, even though I have told him I love them.

 

[Biaxident]

He likes gift cards but he won't give them to me as a gift. I don't know why this is, even though I have told him I love them.

Because they are too impersonal.

 

[ceecee]

Because they are too impersonal.

But I've told him a million times I like them. And he likes getting them. This makes no sense.

 

[Udog]

He probably enjoys the challenge and process (where he thinks about you and what you like) of finding something more creative.

 

[Biaxident]

But I've told him a million times I like them. And he likes getting them. This makes no sense.

It's a quirk I suppose.

I would rather give something to my significant other that was personally chosen by me with much though. As opposed to just saying, she likes that store, let me get her a gift card, that way I don't have to think too much.

If it was me, I would do both the personalized gift, and a gift card.

Or...Meet her at the door. In nothing but some ribbon, and strategically placed bells. And make her find the card.

 

[ceecee]

It's a quirk I suppose.

I would rather give something to my significant other that was personally chosen by me with much though. As opposed to just saying, she likes that store, let me get her a gift card, that way I don't have to think too much.

If it was me, I would do both the personalized gift, and a gift card.

Or...Meet her at the door. In nothing but some ribbon, and strategically placed bells. And make her find the card.

Let's use Bath and Body Works as an example.

ENFJ man knows I like B&BW. Muchly.

ENFJ man does not like going into B&BW. Clearly you need to turn in your man card prior to entering although he knows there is one man shelf in the store. This falls under the same rules as - men don't use umbrellas and men don't use moisturizer, apparently. I'm just going by what I've been told here so I can't be held accoutable for wrong man rules.

ENFJ man will go online but is not quite sure what to get. Can go in our bathroom and familiarize himself with names and scents but doesn't want to get any "on him".

ENFJ man could send #1 daughter into the store but never does. I have no idea why he does not use all the ammo in the arsenal to help him accomplish tasks like this. The kids will do all the dirty work with little overhead.

ALLLLLL this ^^ could be avoided if he would just get a gift card which can be done online. Late at night. So no one will see you looking at the B&BW site, then clear history. And he would have a overjoyed wife.

If he wanted to stuff said gift card in his pants for me to find...that would have been welcomed too. If he stuffed said gift card into his pants for me to find while singing "I Want To Rock You Hard This Christmas" - I think I would weep like a gold medalist during the national anthem.