[ENFP] ENFPs - mature slower?

[teslashock]

I'm ENTP, and I get told that I'm a bit immature and childish for my age, and that I need to grow up. I think this has to do with our inferior Si tied in with the fact that society has a traditionally accepted notion of "mature", and we don't really give a shit about that notion. What is maturity anyway? What entails acting like an adult? I've found that my own answers to these questions are highly correlated with Si and that they are a bit arbitrary anyway. I'm not sure what the point is, outside of pleasing societal expectations, something that's not high on the priority list of Ne-doms.

 

[Chloe]

I'm ENTP, and I get told that I'm a bit immature and childish for my age, and that I need to grow up. I think this has to do with our inferior Si tied in with the fact that society has a traditionally accepted notion of "mature", and we don't really give a shit about that notion. What is maturity anyway? What entails acting like an adult? I've found that my own answers to these questions are highly correlated with Si and that they are a bit arbitrary anyway. I'm not sure what the point is, outside of pleasing societal expectations, something that's not high on the priority list of Ne-doms.

I completely agree. I wasnt actually asking how to change it, I was just thinking have others have same feelings. Same with muscule tension thing, I had it all my life, especially when I was kid.... so i wonder is it with others like that, cos it's in some profiles..

 

[Clonester]

For me it was the opposite. I was 5'10 in grade 6 and everyone thought I was a lot older. Still the same way. And I'm also a lot more mature than my age. But I do have that ENFP enthusiasm still and can be crazy sometimes. But I don't confuse that with maturity. Having a serious expression on your face 24/7 isn't maturity.

 

[dani_elle]

maybe it is the peter pan complex. ENFPs can just have a child-like essence about them.

I agree with this.

When I was younger people considered me more "mature" than my actual age. Now, not so.

The thing is, in the past I feared being judged for my antics because I grew up in a very serious family, but now I feel more comfortable being crazy like that.

If you ask me, I really am more mature now than before because of my acceptance of myself. Yes, I agree serious=/=mature.

 

[alexx]

In my case I was. I was smarter than many others in my age group, but less mature. My feelings could be easily hurt and I think a sign of maturity is understanding that not everyone will like you and some people are just jerkfaces.

But I think other things could factor in. Abuse? I think that can stunt the maturity of any type (emotional more-so), but especially an ENFP. ENFP children YEARN to be liked and loved, and to like and love others (which is soooo easy for them I think). I know I would always hug people, compliment them, and give them any object I owned (Which wasn't much) that they commented they thought was neat or liked it even remotely.

In a bad situation they feel unwanted and cannot develop correctly. So that may play into some situations.

O - and I was the oldest. Looking out for the younger ones started very early on, perhaps I was more mature in that way.

I understood how to hurt people very early on.

 

[visaisahero]

I think that NFP's can excel at this.

agreed many many

 

[Zenihita]

I'm ENTP, and I get told that I'm a bit immature and childish for my age, and that I need to grow up. I think this has to do with our inferior Si tied in with the fact that society has a traditionally accepted notion of "mature", and we don't really give a shit about that notion. What is maturity anyway? What entails acting like an adult? I've found that my own answers to these questions are highly correlated with Si and that they are a bit arbitrary anyway. I'm not sure what the point is, outside of pleasing societal expectations, something that's not high on the priority list of Ne-doms.

I completely agree. I relate to the OP a lot and it's not about being emotionally or intellectually immature it's about not caring too much about societal standards.

 

[v-in-tx]

i haven't completely read the 3 pages of responses, but i wanted to chime in that YES, i get what you are saying.

i am going to be 32 this coming month and i have always felt a little envious those that just seem to "get it"... even at my age.

i look at some that are my age and have it all together and i just tell myself that i took the more playful, youthful route. hey, my kids are happy. my hubby is happy and well... i'm happy.

we all just have our paths that we make and i'm perfectly satisfied with mine... just as you should be with yours!

*insert big koolaid smile here* oh yeah!

Well I read somewhere that ENFPs tend to always look and act younger than their real age, and it can often make some problem, like in school... i'm not talking only about childish behavio(u)r, but about more "serious" stuff; like, for ex. I always felt 3-4 years younger than I'm... when I was 16 some of my friends were getting in more serious relationships - meaning, real love, intimacy blah blah.. it was all foreign to me, i had bf but i wasn't really at my age level. Same with when i was 19, then I figured out i'm like other girls at 16.. like wanting to attract boys out of real sexual desire, not play...
and now when i'm 23, i feel i perfectly match people who are 19-20 in my maturity level.
ex. some women at 23 already can imagine being mothers, i think it'll take 10 years till i get there... if i get there (not that i really care for now).

i think it often left me feeling inadequate, subconsciously at least.

so, ... can anyone relate to this?

edit: i must state it's only in some fields, not all...

 

[Waffle]

I always looked (And still do) about 3 years younger than I actually am, and have a childish attitude. However my thoughts were always about 6 years ahead. It's a very odd... if not bad predicament.

 

[CzeCze]

If my situation is type-applicable : ENFPs are considered mature for our age in our teens and in adulthood we're thought of as younger than we are or "youthful". Like most people, I also see myself in a timeless way, meaning I don't think there have been any major left turns my personality has taken from childhood to now. My character and essential qualities are still the same (with 1 or 2 exceptions but that's for another thread entirely)

I think the qualities identified as 'mature' and 'youthful' by others were always there in me, it's just that at different ages we have different expectations put on us.

I don't know if ENFPs mature any faster or slower than other types, but yes, ENFPs are "youthful".

 

[phoenix13]

We're relentlessly playful, curious, and like to be silly. People find that childish. I don't see it as related to maturity, because I will probably always be playful, curious, and silly. Oh, and energy... people tend to calm down as they age, but the starting point seems a lot higher for ENFPs.