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[INFP] If you had to name just one thing in your life....

cooliogirly1000

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
44
that would make you happy, what would it be?

You could have it right now and that would be all you needed for the rest of your life, what would it be?


I know it may be impossible to limit things, but it could be love, money..etc.

I know for me, if I had sincere unconditional love (btw my partner, parents, children) that would be all I need. Somehow, i feel if money, job, health went away which it could do, I would still be strong knowing there were people who cared about me.

The tricky bit is, I know there is unconditional love between families, but what about spouses? I am still seeking for that one guy I can have that with. Do the realist of you think he doesn't exist?

When I tell people this, they become perplexed and say so your life is based on the love of a man?? well the true love of a man is what will make me happy, enable me to make a family of my own, will give me children whom I can love more..etc. Isn't this what life is all about? There are thousands of men out there who have it in them, but where is that one individual who will choose to show it and believe in it?

Shouldn't reality be like this?? Why do we accept the shortcoming's of reality and say that there is no such thing as unconditional love?

As an INFP I can't seem to balance things, its either all doom and gloom or eternal bliss.

I hope you got the jist of this thread and that I have not ranted on and become dreamy like a typical INFP.;)
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Proximity to those I love.
I want for or need nothing else.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Peace of mind. And that encompasses...just about everything. :)
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Freedom from suffering, be it physical or emotional. Illness I can live with, but constant suffering, no thanks. The same goes for those I love. I can be alone just fine, and have no need to constantly be surrounded by people, but I do want to see those I love on occasion and share a close connection once a while (in this case suffering= loneliness and being isolated)
 

Polaris

AKA Nunki
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
2,529
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Even if I were to find the greatest treasure, bad things would still happen to me and the people I care about, so there really isn't anything that can secure my happiness, once and for all. It would still be possible to take a step in the right direction, though, and the biggest step I can think of would be for me to find someone who can love me and whom I can love in turn. To find such a person would fill a major void in my life--the void of cold isolation--and it would also fill me with a strength that I haven't had in a long time. Human connections make me greater than what I am--they bring me confidence and security--and there is no human connection more powerful than romantic love. If I had only that, I think I could do anything in the world.
 

Lily Bart

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
136
MBTI Type
INFP
I know what you mean, Coolio. I guess I'm a hopeless romantic, too, which this day and age is definitely not a cool thing to be. I have two siblings, my husband has three, and including our parents, there have been twelve divorces in our families (some have multiple divorces and remarriages). There's an attitude now that if you're not getting what you want out of a relationship, you need to leave in a hurry. Both my husband and I have felt sometimes over the years (22 of them, so far!) that we were putting way more into the relationship than we were getting out of it, and I know that it's a hopeless outdated cliche to say that we're better people for it, but we really are. I just wish the rest of the world understood that. True love takes an awful lot of work, but it's worth it. (Thanks for giving me the opportunity to say all that -- it's not often you have a forum for these kinds of sentiments!)
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
1.Unconditional love
2.It does exist. I've seen it, once.
3. For me, accepting reality is simply to say that unconditional love is likely to be completely different than imagined, not nearly as romantic as hoped, and not necessarily intended to last a lifetime.
 

Rebe

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
Physical Perfection. :happy2:
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
Joined
Jul 7, 2007
Messages
3,895
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Wealth/power.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Infinite money.

If I had unlimited money I'd be extremely happy. It would lead to most things that I want to do being done, and the other things like love and friendship will come naturally if you try.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
... I know there is unconditional love between families, but what about spouses? I am still seeking for that one guy I can have that with. Do the realist of you think he doesn't exist?

When I tell people this, they become perplexed and say so your life is based on the love of a man?? well the true love of a man is what will make me happy, enable me to make a family of my own, will give me children whom I can love more..etc. Isn't this what life is all about? There are thousands of men out there who have it in them, but where is that one individual who will choose to show it and believe in it?

Shouldn't reality be like this?? Why do we accept the shortcoming's of reality and say that there is no such thing as unconditional love?

As an INFP I can't seem to balance things, its either all doom and gloom or eternal bliss. I hope you got the jist of this thread and that I have not ranted on and become dreamy like a typical INFP.;)

No, I think I get it.

It's sort of like the conflict between making sure you do not base your entire life on the transient experience of being happy but at the same time making sure that you are deeply content as a human being regardless of the situational emotions... and you don't really want to be living a life where you are consistently miserable.

So while you are capable of being an independent and strong woman on your own, regardless of whether you have a guy who unconditionally loves you in your life, the fact simply is that the presence of someone like that IS a driving goal/influence in your life and of a great deal of importance and would improve your quality of life tremendously.

it's kinda hard to love someone and not have a large chunk of your life revolve around them and suffer a large amount of pain if they left... but it doesn't mean that's codependency, it's just what it means to love someone.

meanwhile, What do I most want?

I want to have the resources (of whatever sort) to finally feel completely whole and live totally as myself, within myself and confidently, rather than detached from myself like I did for so many years. I also want my kids to grow up to be content, productive, and vibrant human beings, living authentically as well.
 

scortia

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
201
MBTI Type
INFJ
My answer would vary depending on my mood:

1) No mental issues (panic disorder and depression can really limit me and make me too afraid to follow through with many things)

2) The freedom and financial security to express myself and have that expression reach others and be appreciated. (I can't just write or create art, I need to know it has purpose)

3) A world filled with people who aren't anti-intellectualism (being a teacher would actually be fulfilling)

4) Power (to make changes in this very very flawed system)


I don't desire love. I don't think I have a mate out there, or one I'll ever find anyhow. I feel more fulfilled as a solitary person anyhow. I would love to have the secrets of the universe, but having those handed to me totally ruins the enjoyment of working towards that knowledge. :)
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
10
The ability to know everything.

you might have an infinite amount of money but you might not know what to do with it. If your knowledge knew no bounds, you'd know how to get money at any point in time, you'd know how to find love anywhere and in the exact amounts, among everything else. The only problem is, nothing would be a mystery.
 

PoprocksAndCoke

A Benign Tumor
Joined
Nov 7, 2009
Messages
614
MBTI Type
ENTP
^If you know everything, then what's left? It's the mysteries that make life interesting.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
My idea of happiness is being in a state of increasing forward progress and self improvement.

So the one thing that would make me happy would be the elimination of periods of stagnation and the energy to constantly challenge myself.
 

TickTock

Mud and rain and chaos...
Joined
Jan 18, 2008
Messages
948
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
More self belief. It is nearly all I need and the one thing that escapes me when I need it (a lot of the time).
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
No one thing would ever make me happy for the rest of my life. My four daughters are the closest I could get to that, probably.

I would like a larger, self cleaning house, if I want one thing at this moment. Just the large house might be enough. Of course that's not a "forever" happy kind of thing.

Maybe just being content in all circumstances would be a great thing to have.
 
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