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[Jungian Cognitive Functions] Do INFPs Hold Grudges... Really bad ones?

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Damn straight.

I get so f'in sick and tired, of hearing how INFPs are supposed to act.

I'm a human being. Not a list of freakin' prescribed behaviors for every situation, depending on my type.

At this very moment, I am holding a grudge against everyone who thinks INFPs are all cuddly, cry at the drop of a hat, Emo babies.

:dry:

Many of the people I've dealt with having these qualities were ISFPs, youngest/only child, or both.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
There is no "should" in how a personality type should act. I wouldn't subscribe to that belief. Yes INFPs will hold grudges. It depends on how attached they get at who or what they hold the grudge. You can't help that either. (This wasn't an attack, I was just using this post to support my point)

This is mainly because an INFP's relief function is Si, as pointed out earlier in the thread. Si just naturally happens for them. They will remember and take to heart past offenses if Si takes it's toll. If they stay in this Fi Si mode and if they don't gather new information through Ne, the grudge will probably stick within them.



ENFP? This post reeks of disvaluing Si. You like to leave behind the past and start new beginnings, this is pretty Ne. And you also seem to have a very Te attitude as something going on behind the scenes. It would be no wonder why you can't relate to how INFPs function like this.

Hey!!! Sweeten up!!!! Now then, that's better. First of all, my dad is INTP, so I've heard a lot of logical preaching over the years to keep my nilly willy emotions in check. I am fully aware of my weaknesses... thanks to my Dad. He's forced me to master the art of self discipline and not make excuses for my BAD emotional behavior AND hasty EMOTIONAL-BASED decisions. Why?... because entertaining my weaknesses only holds me back from achieving my goals and doesn't leave me happy. I've found it's VERY REWARDING to understand myself and counteract any negative emotional reactions as much as possible. ...INFP negative or emotional reactions can come across as abusive to other 'types'. The 'hot and cold' is not fair to others. I care about people and don't want to destroy people. In other words, make fact based decisions rather than emotional based decisions when it counts. It has taken me far in life and over time, you'll find it gets easier and easier to do...it's just like breathing. I wouldn't lead y'all wrong. I'm telling you this because I think it might help everyone. I'm not trying to hurt anyone here by saying this. Like most of you, I have the best of intentions.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh. Please forgive me. :wubbie:
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
507
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
753
I think we can all walk away with a lesson here: don't generalize somebody's situation from test results.

I expected most of you to answer the same and was pleasantly surprised. I've found in most cases that making broad assumptions about one's personality according to a small set of facts leads to misinformation. This thread at least proves that.
 

speculative

Feelin' FiNe
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
927
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
There is no "should" in how a personality type should act. I wouldn't subscribe to that belief. Yes INFPs will hold grudges. It depends on how attached they get at who or what they hold the grudge. You can't help that either. (This wasn't an attack, I was just using this post to support my point)

Yes, to me grudges are a very INFP thing, when I look at the theory of the type and the Fi/Si tertiary temptation. The grudges would be held against someone/something that the Fi user had become very attached to (which is par for the course with Fi).

I think grudges are an Fi/Fe thing, but I'm not sure how an Fe grudge would work. I suppose if someone harmed the group, then Fe, with its concern for the group, might direct anger toward the person who harmed the group. However, if the person who harmed the group was also part of the group somehow (likely), then that would create a problematic situation where the person the Fe user would hold the grudge against would receive special consideration as a group member. (Is that correct?)

[quote
This is mainly because an INFP's relief function is Si, as pointed out earlier in the thread. Si just naturally happens for them. They will remember and take to heart past offenses if Si takes it's toll. If they stay in this Fi Si mode and if they don't gather new information through Ne, the grudge will probably stick within them.[/QUOTE]

I have very strong Ne, but my Ne directs itself toward ideas and information, not people. So, Ne never really gets me out of the Fi/Si loop because it doesn't operate on the same plane as those functions. Instead, it seeks for non-people-oriented solutions to people problems sometimes.
 

woodpeace

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2009
Messages
17
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4W5
I don't hold grudges because doing so gives me no real satisfaction.
 
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