[ENFP] The ENFP Paradox

[arcticangel02]

lol i explained it to my ENFP friend; he read it and he's like, "umm, why are you motivated by the need to be competent? why do they need to do so much? do you have like relaxation issues or something?" he was very seriously baffled and astounded that anyone could be motivated by such things. i think he understood that he was different but he just thought other people were better at organizing their crazy minds.

Relaxation Issues! Hahaha.

Mm, yeah, I don't quite understand the need for some people to always be BUSY BUSY BUSY! I lived in Germany for a year with a number of host families, and in one of them, my 14 year old host sister (who was a year or two ahead in her classes) insisted on filling her time with piano lessons, tennis lessons, french, english and spanish lessons, more various sports things, not to mention the not insignificant amount of homework she had to do.

I just looked at her busy schedule and thought, I would seriously not be able to cope under that much BUSY-ness.

But when I asked her about it, she just sort of shrugged and said she'd be bored without all that to do. Which makes sense, I guess, if that's your scene.

Given, this whole family didn't exactly see 'relaxing' as a viable free-time activity, but that's another story in itself!

 

[alcea rosea]

And it seems to be sympathy-seeking behavior in that everyone is expected to put up with her whims and mood swings and changes in plans. But I blame it mostly on her undisciplined Ne. Her extraverted Intuition latches onto any and all stimuli coming at her and tries to weaves patterns of meaning. And her Ne is "undisciplined" in that it doesn't distinguish between small meaningless stimuli and more important meaningful communications or signs. For example if she is having a conversation with someone, she can get distracted and upset by a fly buzzing in the room or window curtains rustling; her hypersensitive Ne registers the minor stimuli of the fly or the curtain and it analyzes, sorts, and parses them to see if they connect in any way with the major stimuli of the conversation.

.....
Rather, her Ne is out of control and she gets overstimulated. IOW, it's a problem related to her internal make-up and it has nothing to do with the people around her or her relations with them. (It only involves other people to the extent that the people around her get sucked up into her dramas because she is such an extreme Extravert and can't help broadcasting her troubles to the world.)

Again, the point is that the behavior in each case is not specifically intended to curry sympathy and pity. Rather, it's genuine nervous overstimulation and exhaustion due to runaway Ne.

FineLine's text makes sense to me. I am female ENFP and dealing with similar issues. I have never thought that it could be the runaway Ne (as FineLine put it). Good point there anyhow.

I have always had very poor concentration skills and I do hear everything going around me. I have noticed that when there are too many things going around me that needs my response, I'll get over stimulated and go to some kind of nervous state where I'll get nothing done and just fuzz around.

My concentrations skills have (gladly) improved during last years because I have 3 small children. And if I want any peace around the house I have learned to shut the disturbance away. I still do get over stimulated too often, but I am trying to calm down in those situations. And I do notice the danger zone when the situation develops to the wrong direction. Sometimes I succeed to avoid the situation and sometimes I don't.

One other thing that does not relate to this issue is that I'm not native English speaker, so my text might be not so fluent.

 

[CzeCze]

I have always had very poor concentration skills and I do hear everything going around me. I have noticed that when there are too many things going around me that needs my response, I'll get over stimulated and go to some kind of nervous state where I'll get nothing done and just fuzz around.

One other thing that does not relate to this issue is that I'm not native English speaker, so my text might be not so fluent.

I hear ya! I have a really bad time studying, I'm like a cute puppy circling her spot neurotically before settling in for the night. I'm filled with a lot of 'inner noise' akin to nervous energy and it takes me a LONG TIME of sitting down and making myself be quiet and concentrate until I can seriously start absorbing and understanding what I read and *study*.

Surrounding noise can drive me batty! I have to find that perfect balance of environmental noise that amounts to 'white noise' so I can concentrate. I was at a restaurant tonite trying to study and I was TOTALLY DISGUSTED by the man next to me who kept on burping. I COULD NOT CONCENTRATE. And then later there was competing sound from a TV show on the tvs and a movie playing from a laptop. Sooo distracting.

I'm audio learning person as opposed to visual, so it makes the problem worse. I tend to hone in on everything I'm hearing.

And until you mentioned English is not your native language, I wouldn't have noticed at all! Very smooth grasp of colloquial English!

Mm, yeah, I don't quite understand the need for some people to always be BUSY BUSY BUSY! I lived in Germany for a year with...
...
Given, this whole family didn't exactly see 'relaxing' as a viable free-time activity, but that's another story in itself!

Hmm, you should share that with the 'national ideal type' thread. There is that stereotype of German industriousness.

 

[SillySapienne]

I've always had a relatively strong affect on people, and 9 out of 10 times it's been a positive one. My problem, or paradox doesn't lie in my wondering if people do in fact like me, but rather lies in whether or not I truly like a person.