[ENFJ] The ENFJ Thread

[Glycerine]

It seems really casual and she doesn't sound like the best catch (kind of manipulative, likes to string people along). I really don't get a great vibe from her. If all you want is sex and fun, go for it but if you want something more serious, I wouldn't pursue anything w/ the girl.

 

[tcda]

It seems really casual and she doesn't sound like the best catch (kind of manipulative, likes to string people along). I really don't get a great vibe from her. If all you want is sex and fun, go for it but if you want something more serious, I wouldn't pursue anything w/ the girl.

I wanted sex and fun but didn't get any.

But yes I think you're right about her, though to be fair to her in this instance, neither of us pretended to be seriously dating or anything.

Interesting thing though is that I'm pretty sure she is ENFJ yet most ENFJ's I have described these events to, have disliked her.

 

[Glycerine]

I wanted sex and fun but didn't get any.

But yes I think you're right about her, though to be fair to her in this instance, neither of us pretended to be seriously dating or anything.

Interesting thing though is that I'm pretty sure she is ENFJ yet most ENFJ's I have described these events to, have disliked her.

There's a good chance that she is ENFJ... just a very manipulative one (they can feel very oily).

 

[Fidelia]

Avoid her.

 

[tcda]

So in other words if an ENFJ talks about you like that, she is not really interested?

 

[Glycerine]

It basically sounded like you are one of her many little play things... you're dispensable to her. For example, she is comparing you to all her other suitors and finds it humorous that the Latinos are mostly hitting on her. That just reeks of possibly playing social games down line because she KNOWS that so many others want to be w/ her and finds it amusing. You could definitely pursue her more but I doubt she has much genuine interest in you. You are mostly likely going to get played by the girl. Sorry for the harsh assessment but that is seriously the vibe I got off of her.
Most ENFJs (if they liked you) I reckon would be like: "I met this awesome Argentinean guy named TCDA. We really clicked! " We would sing your praises. ENFJs tend to be VERY deliberate so if we like you, you are most likely going to know after a bit.

 

[tcda]

It basically sounded like you are one of her many little play things... you're dispensable to her. For example, she is comparing you to all her other suitors and finds it humorous that the Latinos are mostly hitting on her. That just reeks of possibly playing social games down line because she KNOWS that so many others want to be w/ her and finds it amusing. You could definitely pursue her more but I doubt she has much genuine interest in you. You are mostly likely going to get played by the girl. Sorry for the harsh assessment but that is seriously the vibe I got off of her.
Most ENFJs (if they liked you) I reckon would be like: "I met this awesome Argentinean guy named TCDA. We really clicked! " We would sing your praises. ENFJs tend to be VERY deliberate so if we like you, you are most likely going to know after a bit.

Nah harsh assesmment is what I need! I am young (ish - :s) male INTP; meaning, I need these things spelled out! I don't trust my intuition on these issues either as it can get mixed with "worries" and "wishes".

I had kind of gathered all along that we were both just having a bit of casual playing around though. She did at the time invite me out quite a lot at the time; but then after I went to club with her and some of her friends, and got into an argument with her (male) friend, stupidly. After that she literally never spoke to me again!

I guess what I'm asking is pretty pathetic, but: did I have a chance back then of getting some action? Sorry to be vulgar but, that's my question. And yes, I do even disappoint myself with my shallowness.

 

[TopherRed]

TCDA, it amazes me how irresociallyresponsible our peeps are. I'm sorry dude.

 

[Glycerine]

I guess what I'm asking is pretty pathetic, but: did I have a chance back then of getting some action? Sorry to be vulgar but, that's my question. And yes, I do even disappoint myself with my shallowness.

LMAO. you're hilarious. FYI, I'm not judging you. Doesn't almost everyone want to sex once in awhile? You might have had a chance but I really don't know what her intentions were... so who knows?

 

[neptunesnet]

...oh yeah, in that culture "fair haired and blue eyes" is considered attractive

In almost all [Western] cultures, tcda, "fair-haired and blue-eyed" is considered attractive, sometimes regardless of whether or not the person with these physical characteristics are actually, you know, attractive.

Wish people would get original :rolli:

 

[tcda]

LMAO. you're hilarious. FYI, I'm not judging you. Doesn't almost everyone want to sex once in awhile? You might have had a chance but I really don't know what her intentions were... so who knows?

Fair enough. I was just pushing ENFJ ability to interpret other ENFJ's via one email, to its limits...might as well get as much as I can out of that email right?

Well she did seek me out a lot over a period of 2 weeks so who knows. Maybe she was just homesick or bored. Still she really is a ridiculously beautiful girl in the purely physical sense, and also as well-known and rich as they come (she's an elected "student union" rep at just 19 FFS).

To be honest the only reason I am still going on about it is because I think "WTF, a girl like that went out of her way repteadly to find me and ask me out and even mentioned me as a suitor to her friends, and I blew it".

</whine over>

but yes it was a valuable lesson.

 

[TopherRed]

ENFJs who become too successful early in life end up spoiled. You want the ones who pulled themselves out of the mud to become truly amazing individuals.

 

[tcda]

ENFJs who become too successful early in life end up spoiled. You want the ones who pulled themselves out of the mud to become truly amazing individuals.

true...as with most types I guess.

 

[Venom]

In almost all [Western] cultures, tcda, "fair-haired and blue-eyed" is considered attractive, sometimes regardless of whether or not the person with these physical characteristics are actually, you know, attractive.

Wish people would get original :rolli:

betting this person is a resentful brunette?

 

[neptunesnet]

betting this person is a resentful brunette?

Resentful? No. Annoyed? Absolutely.

It's not particularly my fault you menfolk are obtuse sometimes.

Also, I don't exactly see how one could call me "brunette" considering how I'm all brown and such

 

[tcda]

Well it is a popular prejudice based on racist social structures; in Latin America the higher classes have always been of European descent, and therefore "white genes" are seen as "good genes", and people with mestizo features see a fair partner as a good thing because it raises them socially, and gives their children an advantage in that they will be considered attractive and find it easier to climb socially.

 

[neptunesnet]

Well, I know why. That doesn't mean though that I have to like it or accept that sort of exclusivity.

 

[tcda]

Of course, I was just agreeing with you.

 

[Venom]

Well it is a popular prejudice based on racist social structures; in Latin America the higher classes have always been of European descent, and therefore "white genes" are seen as "good genes", and people with mestizo features see a fair partner as a good thing because it raises them socially, and gives their children an advantage in that they will be considered attractive and find it easier to climb socially.

but today the mix is seen as the most attractive:

1. White bone structure, light eyes and Brazilian skin tone and hair color
2. ^ but without the light eyes
3. #1 without the permanent tan
4. everyone else

I swear im not racist...im just really attracted to Brazilians with light eyes, European structure and dark hair/dark skin

 

[Venom]

Well, I know why. That doesn't mean though that I have to like it or accept that sort of exclusivity.

also. ive read some studies by evolutionary psychologists that show most modern men actually prefer dark, thick, brown hair (it looks "healthier"). Its more that the cultural norm is to be proud of having a (once) rare prize. I think the blond thing is just left over from it being rare, perpetuated in the media.