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[ENFJ] The ENFJ Thread

SpottingTrains

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I find I readily notice details but I don't like dealing with them. As long as the big picture isn't compromised i'll leave the details alone as much as possible. If I know they're crucial to success on a certain task then I will take care of them either by myself or 'convince'/'con'/'defraud another through an evil enfj munipulation tactic' to 'help' me out.
 

SpottingTrains

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I read somewhere that to move from dependence on approval to knowledge of personal strength to meet one's own needs, it usually requires personal loss (which is bound to happen at some point). And through this likely deep hurt / depression / introspection, it can lead to a more accurate self-assessment and understanding of what is being asked of us by others. Wish we had an older ENFJ on this board....

I concur. :)
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
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ENFJs are the only Ns I've seen described in any profile as good with details. I've noticed it about the people I think are ENFJs too. I wonder if they just develop their eye for detail more than most Ns because they're more motivated to because of Je (the 'get things done' function) being dominant. If that's the reason, it should be true of ENTJs as well, but I don't know any of them very well.

Se relief and Fe people watching-intimacy and Ti analyzing develops detail orientation
 

bronson

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I have been in a thinking mood recently and contemplated starting a thread asking a question... Do you go in waves, where you're outgoing/friendly, and then turned inward and overly thinking about your emotions and stuff going on in life? Ie happy extroverted wave, then very Ni/Ti/Fi wave where you go round and round in your head thinking and feeling inside about things you've done, want to do, impressions on others, etc etc? Can even get unhealthy if you don't pull yourself out back to the present. I'm talking, so caught up on your own thoughts that you can just get disconnected from what's going on around you at that moment (Se).

Yes. Very much so.
 

Yloh

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ENFJs do you ever feel like you can heavily relate to the ENFPs and/or INFPs?

It is pretty weird because I know I'm a J, but I feel like I can really relate to both the INFPs and ENFPs. I can relate to these two personality types way more than the INFJs and I know I'm a ENFJ.

Do other ENFJs relate to this at all, or am I just different?
 

BlackCat

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I would blame socionics for this. According to socionics, INFjs and ENFjs have pretty much opposing values. INFps are with ENFjs when it comes to values. I'm not sure why you say that about ENFPs though.

*waits for someone to say that J/P is switched in socionics, then have me correct them*
 

TopherRed

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*thinks about it*. Naaaah. Thought Cat, you might consider creating a thread just for Socionics questions. I've got no friggin' clue how that system works.
 

Domino

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I think it has everything to do with the internal NF value system. I've met INFPs who were waste-oid self-immolating existentialists that I didn't "get". I've met warm jacked-in INFPs who I relate to very much. I've met ENFPs that I feel "yes! exactly!" and others are "Dude, seriously?" INFJs are the same thing -- either hideously brutal selfish people rammed firmly up their own backsides (the kind I flee from), or generous powerful caring entities who are engaging and curious (the kind I relate to very strongly).

I can't say that I see myself in NFPs though. I can align with their values and resonate with their general moral code, but I don't behave like one on any level, nor do I react to things like an NFP. Just yesterday, my exasperated sister showed me something - a problem - and I immediately and unconsciously went into 'fix it' mode, thinking she was showing me something that I had to fix. I got exasperated too, and did not realize that this was yet another example of Jaye just needing to say something and vent and be exasperated, and that I didn't have to fix it.

She wryly informed me that I sounded "just like dad" (who is an INFJ) and called me Mini Me again. She said I even talked like him and got the same spacey look as he did when thinking. (I see my biting her did little to instill fear in her - I shall have to try again...)

My dad is drawn to FPs, I think because they seem to align with his view of the world while having a certain tensile strength unique to the type. One of his very favorite actors is Johnny Depp, if that adds to it.
 

Yloh

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I would blame socionics for this. According to socionics, INFjs and ENFjs have pretty much opposing values. INFps are with ENFjs when it comes to values. I'm not sure why you say that about ENFPs though.

*waits for someone to say that J/P is switched in socionics, then have me correct them*

Reads the ENFP and INFP profile.

Yes, that makes perfect since as the value systems of an INFP fits very well with mine. In fact, I can almost see myself as an INFP sometimes because of this.

After reading the ENFP profile, I am now lost as to how I said I could relate to them. I will admit there is a thread titled "ENFPs - mature slower?" and I could really relate to that thread.

I think it has everything to do with the internal NF value system. I've met INFPs who were waste-oid self-immolating existentialists that I didn't "get". I've met warm jacked-in INFPs who I relate to very much. I've met ENFPs that I feel "yes! exactly!" and others are "Dude, seriously?" INFJs are the same thing -- either hideously brutal selfish people rammed firmly up their own backsides (the kind I flee from), or generous powerful caring entities who are engaging and curious (the kind I relate to very strongly).

I can't say that I see myself in NFPs though. I can align with their values and resonate with their general moral code, but I don't behave like one on any level, nor do I react to things like an NFP. Just yesterday, my exasperated sister showed me something - a problem - and I immediately and unconsciously went into 'fix it' mode, thinking she was showing me something that I had to fix. I got exasperated too, and did not realize that this was yet another example of Jaye just needing to say something and vent and be exasperated, and that I didn't have to fix it.

She wryly informed me that I sounded "just like dad" (who is an INFJ) and called me Mini Me again. She said I even talked like him and got the same spacey look as he did when thinking. (I see my biting her did little to instill fear in her - I shall have to try again...)

My dad is drawn to FPs, I think because they seem to align with his view of the world while having a certain tensile strength unique to the type. One of his very favorite actors is Johnny Depp, if that adds to it.

I do the exact same thing.

And yes you are right (First paragraph), two people of the same type can be totally different people. One person could relate to me very well, while the other person could have nothing to do with me.
 

tcda

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Hi I've got a question about ENFJ's: So what has to happen for an ENFJ who was very interested to start ignoring you decidedly - i.e. physically have thier back to you at all times in a party of 2 hours...?
 

OrangeAppled

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ENFJs do you ever feel like you can heavily relate to the ENFPs and/or INFPs?

It is pretty weird because I know I'm a J, but I feel like I can really relate to both the INFPs and ENFPs. I can relate to these two personality types way more than the INFJs and I know I'm a ENFJ.

Do other ENFJs relate to this at all, or am I just different?

My ENFJ guy friends all say I'm the female version of them, but I'm really not. I think we're more like inside-outs of each other. They exude passion externally and are organized socially, but inside they're dark and tangled, and I can be pretty tangled and morose externally, but inside I have deep feeling arranged into a hierarchy.

We also just like a lot of the same stuff and tend to hold similar world views. While that's true of many NFs I know IRL, it seems like the inside-out effect is strongest with ENFJs I know, which sort of explains the instant attraction we have as friends.


I've met INFPs who were waste-oid self-immolating existentialists

:huh:

:reading:

:D
 

Domino

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I do the exact same thing.


What *is* that exactly? Ni and Se pounding out a plan of action? My dad does this too, so the function order... matters or doesn't matter?
 

Domino

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Just for the heck of it.... people I believe are ENFJs... anyone? Anyone?

Micheal Urie (Marc on "Ugly Betty"):

ugly-betty.jpg


Nathan Fillion (Firefly):

news1_11239247204.jpg


Stacy London (What Not To Wear) [pictured w ENTP co-host, they were adorable together]:

060123_TLC_vmed_11a.widec.jpg


George Clooney:

george-clooney.jpg


Timothy Hutton:

holiday1.jpg


Eva Green (Casino Royale):

eva%20green.jpg
 

toast

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They exude passion externally and are organized socially, but inside they're dark and tangled, and I can be pretty tangled and morose externally, but inside I have deep feeling arranged into a hierarchy.

I wish I could get my feelings arranged in an f***ing hierarchy. I'm downright sick of being dark & tangled. I do experience highs of happiness & adoration that seem really abnormal (at least I recognized them to be "different" from how other people feel when I was a child). Like if I find something precious, I can have such wonderful & satisfying feelings just enjoying the fact that I adore it... but it seems associated with that "dark and tangled" thing. Like I couldn't have the one without the other. Is this something anyone else experiences?

Hi I've got a question about ENFJ's: So what has to happen for an ENFJ who was very interested to start ignoring you decidedly - i.e. physically have thier back to you at all times in a party of 2 hours...?

Did you confront them or try to talk to them anyway? They either really wanted you to or really didn't. You would have known by their reaction when confronted. If they wanted you to, they were waiting for something. Maybe you said or did something they found offensive or they said something expecting feedback & didn't get it. If they really didn't want to talk to you, they may have lost interest, but it would probably be because of some choice they made. I don't know, I can't go from being "really" interested in someone to ignoring them unless I'm mad or testing them. Then again, ENFJs can seem to be flirty when they are just socializing. In this case, if they caught wind that you wanted more they may be distancing to show that they don't.

What did they do that made them seem interested?
 

Heinel

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I wish I could get my feelings arranged in an f***ing hierarchy. I'm downright sick of being dark & tangled. I do experience highs of happiness & adoration that seem really abnormal (at least I recognized them to be "different" from how other people feel when I was a child). Like if I find something precious, I can have such wonderful & satisfying feelings just enjoying the fact that I adore it... but it seems associated with that "dark and tangled" thing. Like I couldn't have the one without the other. Is this something anyone else experiences?



Did you confront them or try to talk to them anyway? They either really wanted you to or really didn't. You would have known by their reaction when confronted. If they wanted you to, they were waiting for something. Maybe you said or did something they found offensive or they said something expecting feedback & didn't get it. If they really didn't want to talk to you, they may have lost interest, but it would probably be because of some choice they made. I don't know, I can't go from being "really" interested in someone to ignoring them unless I'm mad or testing them. Then again, ENFJs can seem to be flirty when they are just socializing. In this case, if they caught wind that you wanted more they may be distancing to show that they don't.

What did they do that made them seem interested?

What about if they asked you for contact info but never contact you?
 

Southern Kross

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I have questions :hi:

Outwardly, ENFJs seem (to me anyway) to be the least characteristically NF of the NFs. Its like ENFJs can effectively walk that thin line between the sensor world and the intuitor world. It seems like your practicality and that friendly, harmonizing ability that Fe provides you, means you are better at 'playing the game' - something all intuitors struggle with to a degree. Or perhaps its just that you can express your idealism in a more realistic, coherent and digestible format.

So (with all this in mind) what is it about yourself that makes you feel like a NF? How does your NF-ness express and reveal itself, particularly on an everyday level? And how do you see yourself in relation to other NFs?

I look forward to enlightenment. :D
 

tcda

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Did you confront them or try to talk to them anyway? They either really wanted you to or really didn't. You would have known by their reaction when confronted. If they wanted you to, they were waiting for something. Maybe you said or did something they found offensive or they said something expecting feedback & didn't get it. If they really didn't want to talk to you, they may have lost interest, but it would probably be because of some choice they made. I don't know, I can't go from being "really" interested in someone to ignoring them unless I'm mad or testing them. Then again, ENFJs can seem to be flirty when they are just socializing. In this case, if they caught wind that you wanted more they may be distancing to show that they don't.

What did they do that made them seem interested?

hmmm, thanks for the input :)

I know she was interested at the time, because of all the usual signs.

If it's a case of that I was supposed to give feedback and didn't and that's enough to get cold-shouldered by an ENFJ then yeh, I'm screwed, because on one "date" I counted about 10 times when I didn't give feedback and she was obviosuly looking for it. I didn't realise it was that big of a deal though.:huh: would that be enough to make an ENFJ go off a guy and ignore him?

Also would an ENFJ woman really test a guy by ignoring him? interesting. what would be the way to pass that test? (if it's not a secret I shouldn't be told that is) :p

Nah I didn't confront her by the way. I'd tried to get in touch before and she ignored it*, so, I figured it was up to her. I avoided looking at her straight on to, as she did with me.

*well she did about two weeks later send a pretty formal explanation on facebook explaining why she hadn't replied. I replied to that 2 days later, in the same vein, saying it was no big deal, and that was the last contact before we saw each other at this other event where she ignored me.
 

Domino

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I don't make a habit of ignoring people unless they've done something so awful that I can't conscience speaking to them without hitting them with an old shoe. I can be civil to the point of pain, but ignoring someone is the last straw.

Formal explanation? How did that read?
 

OrangeAppled

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I wish I could get my feelings arranged in an f***ing hierarchy. I'm downright sick of being dark & tangled. I do experience highs of happiness & adoration that seem really abnormal (at least I recognized them to be "different" from how other people feel when I was a child). Like if I find something precious, I can have such wonderful & satisfying feelings just enjoying the fact that I adore it... but it seems associated with that "dark and tangled" thing. Like I couldn't have the one without the other. Is this something anyone else experiences?

I experience this, but you'll see little enthusiasm externally. INFPs are also continually figuring out their feelings, so it's not like we have a neat and easy time of it either. Do you understand how you feel better with other people?

I was thinking about this last night incidentally. I almost find things which are "too happy" to be fake, unless there's a tinge of tragedy. When something really good happens, something really bad has to happen also.
 
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