[MBTI General] IFP and INJ children

[tovlo]

I'm curious which description of childhood experience INFP's and INFJ's relate to:

IFP children

INJ children

 

[Eileen]

predictably, i fell somewhere in the middle.

 

[runvardh]

INJ came close, but I reread the IFP one and it was a lot closer.

 

[Athenian200]

I was very clearly on the INJ side... I hardly related to the IFP portrait at all.

 

[developer]

I am INTJ, so this may be a little OT, but I have known this INJ description for a long time, and I have often referred to it, because it was perfectly me as a kid.

 

[Eve]

I fell in the middle as well.

 

[scantilyclad]

mmm yeah i also feel like i fell in the middle, but maybe a bit closer to the INP side.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

INJ was probably closer, but I can relate to a lot of both. I had a rather rough childhood with personality though, seeing as I had (I'm pretty sure) an INTx father who wanted me to be and think just like him, so my actions were guided by his rules and expectations and my fear of him, rather than my natural tendencies.

I find it really amusing that I always said our problems really began when I turned 13, and according to those profiles that's when I would have picked up the F that conflicted with his T!

 

[cafe]

Middle.

 

[spirilis]

Totally OT since I'm an INTP and speaking solely for the ITP part, but I found the description for ITP fairly accurate for me. The main point I didn't agree with was "and are irritated by exaggerations and half-truths"--I understood what people meant when they exaggerated for the most part. I also wasn't much of a risk taker at all, my (most likely) IS*J parents sorta set a non-risk-taking example which I picked up on very early and kept as a basic tenet.

I will have to agree with "They enjoy books" although the type I usually read were technical in nature... my father would buy me really old TIME books about space and astronauts and chemistry, energy and the like. I would also spend a lot of time reading and re-reading instruction manuals for our electronics equipment... it fascinated me for some odd reason. I enjoyed playing with electronics, and my parents bought me a $20 "30-in-1 Electronics Project Kit" from radioshack which amused me quite a bit, although I couldn't understand the theory behind most of it.

It says kids typically develop the "missing letter" around age 13 or so. I guess that's fairly accurate... before age 12 or so I joined many of my neighbors and friends in more ISTP-like adventures but I was always lacking some of the fine skill and ease of learning that my friends had. Around age 12-13 I got my first computer, which I couldn't do anything with besides program (in BASIC). From there on I ended up taking to the mathematics and theory behind programming quite a bit, and spent countless hours playing with the computer, which ended up shutting out most of my neighbors and pretty much terminated most of my outdoor adventures and playtime, and I found myself associating more with people at school who enjoyed speculating about wild things for fun (like space travel, star trek stuff and the like--it was usually me and my INFP friend dreaming up crazy ideas and drawing them on paper, making up stories about them, etc.). High school was more of the same.

 

[prplchknz]

I fit mostly IFP but defiently had some INJ traits aswell.

They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation

My mom said this is how I was a baby/toddler. Where I'd just sit and be content with everything while observing, even as a kid I wouldn't say anything until I was sure how people would respond. Of course I got accused of being shy. I guess as a baby you only have limited social skills, I think she means compared to the other children I was more reserved.

 

[Kiddo]

Very middle. But it's hard to remember exactly how I was as a kid. Maybe I should have a relative read it.

 

[TenebrousReflection]

I think I fit more of the INJ description than the IFP description, I also think I didn't really develop my F side until around when they say the fourth trait should develop (at least thats when I'd say I started to notice those tendencies in me).

I took the test they had on the page and answered as best I could recall of how I was as kid and did get IFP as a result. The actual lists they give for IFP seem to fit reasonably well, but the descriptions beyond that have some stuff thats clearly not me.

Very idealistic
Maybe a little idealistic

Take things seriously and personally
Yes

Quiet and gentle
Yes

Extremely sensitive
Yes

Shy and reserved with strangers
Yes

Enjoy reading
Yes - My sister and father were big influences there, so I was always reading from a very early age and usually material that would be suited for "adults" or "young adults" (as in reading comprehension level) even as a kid

Service-oriented, they want to please others
Want to please others - yes, service oriented - ?

They love animals and small babies
Cats, and rodents - yes, Babies and most other animals - No

Likely to be messy and unstructured
This one is a bit trickier, I've always "put stuff where I'm likely to be able to find it again" and there is some order to it, but it certainly appears as clutter to most. As a kid as well as now, I had a clutter threshold and once something passed that I would go into a cleaning frenzy and organize everything and tidy up but that can be months/seasons apart in doing so.

They need lots of love and affection
Yes

IFPs often are dreamy and imaginative children, and may seem to be off in their own world. They usually excel in the Humanities, such as English (Writing), Music, Art, and History. They will be interested in Science classes that have a clear human connection, such as Biology.

Dreamy and imaginative? - yes
Off in my own world? - yes
Excel in the humanities? - English was my worst subject in school, and I was never good at art (I think that was because the focus of art classes tends to be on drawing which I have no talent in unless I'm using CAD (I did very well in drafting)). I did enjoy music, but didn't have much aptitude in the instruments I tried (maybe someday I'll try to learn music again) and I also liked history but my need to apply meaning to something to store it in memory caused problems there since a lot of what they teach in school was not meaningful (at least as a kid). I liked math and science but HATED biology.

IFPs will resist doing tasks that seem impersonal, for which they can't see how it affects the human element. Presenting sheerly logical tasks within the framework of how performing the task helps humans will help the IFP face the task more willingly. Logic is still not their strong point, so patience learning these kinds of tasks will have to be shown. Since they're not naturally logical and they don't naturally see the value of sheer logic, the IFP is at a disadvantage with these kinds of lessons.

Tasks that seem impersonal never seemed to bother me, I loved math as a kid (still do) and believe I very much have a natural affinity for logic (I just only use it for impersonal decisions or as a tool to help me evaluate things). The kinds of things that bothered me were being asked to "show your work" when I felt it was a complete waste of time and energy to do so if I could get the answer without it (which I nearly always could).

When giving constructive criticism or a poor grade to an IFP, also give some positive feedback so that the IFP is not frightened off from doing that type of task again in the future.

Even as a kid, I wanted honest feedback/evaluation. If my ideas or approach is flawed I want to know and I want to discuss it to refine the idea/process to find some solution that gets the result they want while still finding ways to do things that work for me.

Now onto the INJ list...

They have vivid imaginations
Yes

They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?"
Yes! - I think I was probably very annoying as a child because of that.

They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups
Yes
They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality
Yes

They enjoy art and music
Enjoy - yes, good at? - no

They love books, and especially enjoy fiction
Yes (as described above for IFP)

They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation
Yes

They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings
As a kid, that was very true, not so much as an adult.

They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events
Overall, I think I have a small need/desire for structure, but I have a high tolerance for disorder and chaos so it takes a lot to push my limits there

They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sports
Yes - stuff like archery and fencing appealed to me a lot more than traditional athletic sports. I did try football and basketball as a young child, but it was all the rules you had to memorize that I couldn't stand, I kept getting penalties for offsides and garbage like that that eventually evolved (devolved?) into a hatred of team sports

They are perfectionists
Yes

They're serious and intense
Only about certain specific things, otherwise this is one area where I am much more "P" like.

They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends
Yup - for the most part, my friends were the friends of my older sister (many of which were also older than her)

They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness
Yes

They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them
Yes - This is much better description of me than the IFP notion of being sensitive to criticism in academics (I am sensitive to criticism about some things but not impersonal ideas). I don't know if I'd say I want to "completely" understand a subject, but I do want to feel that the understanding I have of the subject is sufficient to my standards and satisfies my curiosity of the subject and how it works

INJs are extremely curious and intellectual children who need a wide variety of mental stimulation. When they are interested in a subject, they will naturally want to know everything about it. Teachers should be prepared to point INJ children towards sources where they can learn more about the subject.

Yup, good description of me.

INJ children don't do well with tasks that require following prescribed steps in a plan or rote memorization. They find these kinds of things extremely boring, and they will resist doing them. They also don't like to do things repetitively. Once they have done something once, they are done with it and want to move on to the next thing. To keep things interesting for the INJ, teachers should give them the basic theory and the desired outcome, and let them figure out how to get there on their own.

Another good description that fits me.

Teachers should realize the INJ's weakness of not always being aware of their environment, and recognize that if an INJ didn't hear the teacher, it doesn't necessarily mean that they weren't listening. Sometimes the INJ's private world overtakes the INJ to the point that they completely tune out their environment. As much patience as possible should be shown with this characteristic. INJs will develop some control over this as they grow older.

I still tune out the environment a lot of the time if I'm absorbed in a task or exploring an idea in my mind.

INJs love to come up with ideas, and naturally want to put their ideas into some kind of structure or plan. They want to do this on their own, with little or no direction. They highly prize their ideas and their competence at performing their projects, and are threatened by someone giving them too much direction. This is almost an insult to the INJ, who bases a great deal of their self-esteem on their independence.

Sounds about right for me.

INJs thrive doing independent projects that require creativity, such as science projects or writing projects. They will probably not enjoy group projects as much, although they are likely to be fine working with one partner on a project.

Yup, I hated group projects in school (even through college). I don't mind group stuff in a work environment as long as I have a specific well defined role in the group and can do my part my own way and the group leader then puts things together from that.

Present the rules and expectations clearly and consistently. INJs naturally crave structure and order. Although they don't want to be told exactly how to do something, they need to understand any rules clearly.

For the most part true, but I would add that if I don't see the point of a specific rule, I WILL question the rules and the reasoning behind them until I am at least satisfied that the person making the rules gave consideration to my concerns.

Overall, I consider the INJ a better description of me as a kid than IFP, but IFP isn't completely contradictory to who I see myself as a kid. I decided to take a quick peek at ITP and found a lot of it to fit as well (in particular, how I approach learning of impersonal subject matter such as math and science).

 

[GZA]

Some of the INJ things fit, but the IFP one fit much more.

I remember always taking everything very personaly, which only caused people to continue doing what it was I didn't like. Bastards . I also remember wanting to tell my parents how much I loved them but then it felt very awkward when I tried to talk to my dad (I was probably 8), and that hurt. I also remember being very depressed and moddy because I thought no one loved me and no one wanted to hear what I had toi say (the last one was true, I think).

 

[aeon]

Some of the INJ things fit, but the IFP one fit much more.

This was my experience as well.


cheers
Ian

 

[nightning]

Uhhhh I'm half and half... I suppose that makes sense since I'm quite evenly divided along J/P axis. =/

For the IFP description,

I agree with:
very idealistic, enjoy reading, want to please others, love animals, likely to be messy and unstructured.
Caring & empathic, laidback, easygoing, adapt well to new situations, original and genuine, need harmony, good peacemaker.

Extremely sensitive, difficulty expressing deepest feelings. Prone to daydream. Have trouble making decisions (afraid of making mistakes, and fear of inadequacy. As much as I hate to admit it, my education consisted of mostly the path of least resistance)

Do not agree with:
Usually relaxed & unrushed (I'm impatient as a child, still am now), aren't likely to be frivolous (I love making mischief), may be reckless & irresponsible with money (I'm very careful with that), procrastination (I've only started that at a later stage in my life)

For the INJ description,

I agree with:
vivid imagination, curiosity and ask "why", off in own world, enjoy books/fiction, perfectionist, independent, not overly concern with grades
Resourceful, bored with/ignore details, stubborn, controlling. Wanting to know everything about an interested subject, enjoys time alone. Love to come up with ideas, like independent projects that require creativity.

Do not agree with:
Enjoy spending time one-on-one with others (strangely enough, when I was a young child... I actually enjoy group interactions. It's only as I get older that I started to isolate myself from people), prefer sports that focus on individual performance over team sports (I enjoyed being on the school basketball team in elementary...), unsettled by change (I adapt quite well to new situations even when I was young. It's one thing I pride myself on.)

 

[Sandy]

After reading that list, I know that I am the classic INFP. I do share with INJs the most vivid of imagination and enjoy music, art and books.

 

[OctaviaCaesar]

I resembled the INJ child--except I was sooooo much more E when I was a child. After 11/12 I was super shy. What a shame for me!

 

[anii]

I definitely connected more with the IFP portrait because, although there is much overlap between the two descriptions, my achilles heel - extreme sensitivity - was evident very early on. Also, I tended to be flexible and easygoing vs. stubborn as a child.

I also procrastinated and even today would prefer to work, walk, breathe, and live at a much more leisurely pace than I am often required to.

(But I did ask "why?" alot as a younger child; for which I unfortunately was punished.)

 

[Eicr]

that sort of bothered me, as at least half of those "traits" at the beginning apply to every child. Some of them, especially, were increadibly open.like,

They need lots of love and affection
Take things seriously and personally
They cannot use logic well at a young age
They're extremely sensitive and become hurt very easily
If they feel rejected or unloved, they may become very depressed and moody
May be reckless and irresponsible with money (children with money!?)
They have vivid imaginations
They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?"
They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness
They are extremely creative and imaginative
They have short attention spans
They frequently don't hear people

I dare anyone to find me a child that doesnt fit this description.