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[INFJ] INFJs and SMS messages

onemoretime

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Y'all do know it's pretty distressing when it takes you forever and a day to text back, or you don't text back? It's also slightly disrespectful and inconsiderate.
 

A Schnitzel

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Y'all do know it's pretty distressing when it takes you forever and a day to text back, or you don't text back? It's also slightly disrespectful and inconsiderate.

It's disrespectful to not always respond at the drop of a hat?
It seems more disrespectful to always expect a person to put down whatever they're doing to respond to a text message.
 

Thalassa

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yeah, like, I thought the whole point of texting is that you didn't have to answer the phone
 

onemoretime

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It's disrespectful to not always respond at the drop of a hat?
It seems more disrespectful to always expect a person to put down whatever they're doing to respond to a text message.

Two seconds. Instead of wondering for hours why the other person didn't respond. Tell me, doesn't one of those seem like a disproportionate burden?
 

Thalassa

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Two seconds. Instead of wondering for hours why the other person didn't respond. Tell me, doesn't one of those seem like a disproportionate burden?

I see your point, on one hand, on the other - depends who it is!
 

onemoretime

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I see your point, on one hand, on the other - depends who it is!

Ahh, so implying that you don't give a shit that the other person is trying to contact you instead of simply saying "can't talk right now" is friendly behavior now?

Come on. It's really inconsiderate of the person sending the message, and you know it.
 

A Schnitzel

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Two seconds. Instead of wondering for hours why the other person didn't respond. Tell me, doesn't one of those seem like a disproportionate burden?

It's called being friends with an introvert. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood to talk and it has nothing to do with you. Something you have to deal with.

What's fair is in the eye of the beholder.
 

Thalassa

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Ahh, so implying that you don't give a shit that the other person is trying to contact you instead of simply saying "can't talk right now" is friendly behavior now?

Come on. It's really inconsiderate of the person sending the message, and you know it.

Well, like, I have a part-time job. I don't answer texts at my job. I also don't answer texts in class. Additionally, I turn the phone off when I'm sleeping. I'm sure that these scenarios probably also apply to the people who you can't live without for two hours.
 

onemoretime

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It's called being friends with an introvert. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood to talk and it has nothing to do with you. Something you have to deal with.

What's fair is in the eye of the beholder.

And yet, typing out the phrase "can't talk" is so onerous. Please. I don't care how terrible of a mood you're in, you should be considerate of others.

Well, like, I have a part-time job. I don't answer texts at my job. I also don't answer texts in class. Additionally, I turn the phone off when I'm sleeping. I'm sure that these scenarios probably also apply to the people who you can't live without for two hours.

Is it so terrible to explain the situation after the fact to reassure that person? We're not mindreaders, you know.
 

A Schnitzel

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And yet, typing out the phrase "can't talk" is so onerous. Please. I don't care how terrible of a mood you're in, you should be considerate of others.



Is it so terrible to explain the situation after the fact to reassure that person? We're not mindreaders, you know.

Wait. I thought the whole point of text as a medium is that you don't have to respond immediately. If it is just conversational and you don't phone I'll assume you can wait a few hours.

If you want to talk why don't you just phone?
 

Thalassa

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Wait. I thought the whole point of text as a medium is that you don't have to respond immediately. If it is just conversational and you don't phone I'll assume you can wait a few hours.

If you want to talk why don't you just phone?

Well, if he really likes someone and they're ignoring his text for a day and a half, I actually see his point.

I think that's what's going here. I wonder if he gets this upset if his sister or dad or whatever doesn't text him back within the hour.
 

A Schnitzel

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:laugh:

marmalade I see you pointed out the elephant in the room.
 

onemoretime

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Is this about a girl?

Nope.

Wait. I thought the whole point of text as a medium is that you don't have to respond immediately. If it is just conversational and you don't phone I'll assume you can wait a few hours.

If you want to talk why don't you just phone?

I usually would... except no one seems to pick up their cell phone anymore.

Well, if he really likes someone and they're ignoring his text for a day and a half, I actually see his point.

I think that's what's going here. I wonder if he gets this upset if his sister or dad or whatever doesn't text him back within the hour.

No... it's that I have terrible working memory, so if I don't get to something when I'm thinking about it, I'll forget about it pretty soon, and then be pissed off when you do respond, because I completely forgot why I texted you in the first place. And yes, it might have been really, really important, but I'll still forget. Or, when the text does finally come in, I'm in the middle of something and have to switch gears back to where I was when I texted in the first place, or may be unavailable at that time.

If it's a girl that I like, I have neither of those problems, because Si kicks in with a vengeance.
 

Thalassa

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Or, when the text does finally come in, I'm in the middle of something and have to switch gears back to where I was when I texted in the first place, or may be unavailable at that time.

Because people should always be available when YOU are available, and switch gears when YOU want them to.

I see. :coffee:

If it's a girl that I like, I have neither of those problems, because Si kicks in with a vengeance.

What does Si have to do with girls answering your text messages in a timely manner?
 

onemoretime

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Because people should always be available when YOU are available, and switch gears when YOU want them to.

I see. :coffee:

"Can't talk" takes like ten seconds maximum. "Sorry, I was working" takes like fifteen. If asking for ten or fifteen seconds of someone's time is so selfish of me, well, maybe that person is better off with friends who are more willing to conform to their exact needs.

I'm not asking someone to drop everything for me. Just show that you give a damn about my friendship.

What does Si have to do with girls answering your text messages in a timely manner?

I'll have been thinking about them all day and obsessing over the girl to the point that it won't matter what the topic was going to be at that particular moment, or more likely, I'll remember it immediately.
 

Silent Stars

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I always respond to texts as soon as possible. It's not a big deal to me at all. I don't currently have a usable phone, but when I get the one I want, I'll have a prepaid unlimited everything plan, so cost wouldn't be an issue for me. I'm rarely ever too busy to be able to respond.

The only time I won't respond is if someone is sending me some stupid forwarded message that's supposed to be funny/clever, like text versions of chain emails. I don't bother with them.
 

Hotherym

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Doesn't it also depend on the nature of the text? I get lots of blather, totally non-serious stuff, and my one friend always wants to talk so I avoid the texts for fear it will stick me on the phone for two or three hours. Anyone I fear spending that much time on the phone with gets the 'ignore/avoid' option until I seriously have time and the extraversion.

Otherwise, quick questions and things like that, I love those. If it doesn't mean I'm obligated to call and chat it up about something someone needs, awesome, I'm all over that. It's quick, it allows me to be there efficiently, and it doesn't compromise my introversion time. It's texts with questions or at least semi-important stuff that I do not, will not ignore. Do other INFJs?
 

TopherRed

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Hell, I'm an ENFJ, and I still agree with that. ^
 
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