[ENFP] ENFP + INFJ = Good Roommates?

[LindseyLadybug]

I'm an INFJ and next semester I'm planning on rooming with one of my new ENFP friends. We've been friends for about 7 months but have already opened up to each other and become close. She is incredibly kind to and considerate of others. She's actually really good at reading me already. For example, one time we were at a social event and I got quiet all of a sudden. She simply walked up to me and put her hand on my arm and said, "Hey, you need to relax. It's okay." Another time I became quiet in her room and she put her hand on my shoulder and asked, "Do you need to go back now? You seem tired." Few people have been able to distinguish my moods so accurately. She tells me I'm able to read her really well too. We're both in a social/service organization at our university but have no classes together. Oh, I should mention that I have an ESFP mom so I am (or at least I think I am) used to the E and P differences.

Any suggestions for making our rooming together more harmonious?

 

[2XtremeENFP]

I have an INFJ best friend, and I think she annoys me more than I annoy her. A week trip sharing a hotel room was torture for me. Her wanted to sleep, me wanting to stay up after a night out and watch TV.

Being used to E and P differences is a good thing to get used to.. but can you get used to her as a person's E and P. That's what most important.

Is there anything that she does now that can annoy you?

 

[LindseyLadybug]

I have an INFJ best friend, and I think she annoys me more than I annoy her. A week trip sharing a hotel room was torture for me. Her wanted to sleep, me wanting to stay up after a night out and watch TV.

Being used to E and P differences is a good thing to get used to.. but can you get used to her as a person's E and P. That's what most important.

Is there anything that she does now that can annoy you?

Well, I stay up late too. We actually go to bed around the same time which is 11pm or 12pm. We're both night owls. She has a rule with her current roommate that if one of them falls asleep during a tv show, the other can finish watching the show at a low volume but if one of them is sleeping, the other cannot turn on the tv. And she already told me the show she has to watch so I can plan accordingly.

Good point. She seems pretty subdued for an extrovert. At least, more so than my mom. She loves being around people but she still gets self-conscious and nervous at times...if that makes sense. Most of the time we hang out, it's one-on-one and if we're in a group, it's usually 3 or 4 people...no more than 10. She's also a lot less P than my mom.

 

[BlackCat]

You should live with other Js or other Ps (if you're P). Another introvert would be preferable for you as well. I'm living with an INTP and it's quite excellent, we live at the same pace and understand the other's procrastination etc, we just *get* each other's living styles. And the conversations are great.

I mean sure you're both NFs, you both will understand each other, but you don't share E/I and J/P, which are the two most important IMO for living with someone.

 

[Clonester]

As long as the ENFP has other social outlets so you get a bit of downtime, it'll be great. I get along very well with INFJ's.

 

[Rachelinpa]

I dunno. My best roommate was an ESTJ. Lots of space.

 

[LindseyLadybug]

You should live with other Js or other Ps (if you're P). Another introvert would be preferable for you as well. I'm living with an INTP and it's quite excellent, we live at the same pace and understand the other's procrastination etc, we just *get* each other's living styles. And the conversations are great.

I mean sure you're both NFs, you both will understand each other, but you don't share E/I and J/P, which are the two most important IMO for living with someone.

I see what you're saying but I think it'll be nice to balance things out because she's more likely to say, "Hey, this is what I've noticed. Did you want to talk about it?" I would think with two introverts, there wouldn't be very good communication...but I could be wrong. She never forces me out of my comfort zone. And she's somewhat spontaneous but definitely not as spontaneous as my mom. I think I might enjoy having someone who understands me. That kind of connection is very important to me, especially if I'll be living with her.

 

[LindseyLadybug]

As long as the ENFP has other social outlets so you get a bit of downtime, it'll be great. I get along very well with INFJ's.

Yes, she's doing an internship right now off campus. Then she'll be getting a job in the area. She's very mature in that she understands not everyone is like her and she usually adapts to her friends' preferences from time to time. For example, she knows I prefer one-on-one interaction and written communication so sometimes she'll suggest we do that.

Would you be willing to describe the dynamics of your current/past relationships with INFJs?

 

[LindseyLadybug]

I dunno. My best roommate was an ESTJ. Lots of space.

What do you mean by "lots of space"?

 

[mockingbird]

Judging from your description of your friend, she seems like a mature and considerate person. The maturity of the person in question is a much more important factor in determining how well you can live together than their type, IMO.

 

[LindseyLadybug]

I moved my stuff in yesterday so my ENFP friend and I are officially roomies now. Well, we won't actually be living there together until mid-January...but whatever. I was so nervous when I was moving in though. She looked at me and said, "If we're going to be roommates, you're gonna need to chill. I want you to feel comfortable in your room." (I think I'm so used to being on edge because of my old roommate's anger issues.) I was like, "Um...wow...how did you know I was nervous? Haha!" She's amazing. I went to put my sheets on my bed and she was standing at the foot of it. I was like, "Oh I'm sorry, did you need something?" and she said, "I was gonna help you." I was like "Help me?...Oh! You want to help me put the sheets on! Wow! Okay! Sure! Thanks!" I think I will be more comfortable after a week or so of living with her. But if any more ENFPs out there have advice for me on how to be a good roommate to an ENFP, please let me know! I want it to be a good experience.