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[INFP] Why I didn't want to be an INFP

B

brainheart

Guest
I tested as an INFP when I was sixteen.... I was a total INFP child... and yet I have spent the last nine months trying to prove to myself and others that I am a succession of other personality types- INTP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFP, ISTP, ENFP.

Why? Why am/was I so adamant against being an INFP?

Possibilities:

1. They can seem so full of themselves sometimes... elitist, condescending, superior, judgmental, etc, or at the least, profoundly self-absorbed. (Pot calling the kettle black? :doh:)

2. It seems like such a cliche to be an INFP, especially when you are a writer (which I am) and have thought about being an English teacher, musician, artist. I want to be a contradiction, not one of the mold, which is such an INFP thing, non? :rolleyes:

3. I am not spiritual.

4. I don't have a deep-seated desire to help others, although I am constantly rescuing insects, mice, etc.

I know there's more, but I don't feel like expounding at the moment. Besides, I'm curious as to whether other's have had this issue, INFP or not.

Have any of you not wanted to be the type you actually are?
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ok prob nr 1 can be solved by developping your Fi

Prob nr 2 *is* solved by looking at prob nr 3 and 4

And prob nr 3 and 4 aren't really probs, they're your unique traits :)
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
I think most male INFPs at least have railed against the profile, and tried to convince themselves that they are another type. You also see quite a few supposed INTPs who realize they are probably a Feeler rather than a Thinker, and decide they must therefore be INFJ rather than INFP. Not pointing any fingers, but it seems a bit suspicious though unsurprising to me. Emo, rainbow-huggers, doormats -- the stereotypes are not flattering.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Yeah, and I have always identified more with males than females, so it makes sense that I, too, would rail against the profile, as you say.

Oh, I'm female, btw.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
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4
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sx/sp
For some reason, I thought you were an INFP back when you were an ISFP. Probably because when a person makes so many drastic type changes, 8 times out of 10 they are INFP. That, and you give me an INFP-ish vibe. I don't know...why do INFPs want to be every type except INFP? Is it part of the "not having a clear sense of self and trying to find oneself" bit that some have going? Sincerely asking because it's an interesting trend that most of the NFs that I think are mistyped seem to be INFP. I think it's a given that one is not going to fit perfectly into a type description, so why?

I've never wanted to be another type. I like being INFJ. I think it's awesome. Possibly because I am one, and I'm coming from an INFJ perspective.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
There are a lot of self-hating INFP's on this board, who call themselves INXP or eNFP, or INTP etc... I think this is because there are so few INFP's around that people base their opinions of the type on stereotypes from others on this board.
Just be who you are. Don't worry about type. It's only a little more 'accurate' than astrology anyway. I think you'll find that there are no standard INFP's, so I wouldn't worry about being a cliche.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
For some reason, I thought you were an INFP back when you were an ISFP. Probably because when a person makes so many drastic type changes, 8 times out of 10 they are INFP.

I know I have a tendency to bristle when people say things like this. I don't want to be predictable! So when you can say, "Oh, sigh, her behavior is so INFP!" or "INFPs do this..." It's like, "No, dammit! I'm unique!"

Introverted feeling, I guess? Your extroverted feeling makes you dig the commonality? While I am supposed to be one of a kind?
 
B

brainheart

Guest
There are a lot of self-hating INFP's on this board, who call themselves INXP or eNXP, or INTP etc... I think this is because there are so few INFP's around that people base their opinions of the type on stereotypes from others on this board.

Good point. And because we base ourselves on our subjective values, there is quite a variance in what we value and how we behave.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
For some reason, I thought you were an INFP back when you were an ISFP. Probably because when a person makes so many drastic type changes, 8 times out of 10 they are INFP. That, and you give me an INFP-ish vibe. I don't know...why do INFPs want to be every type except INFP? Is it part of the "not having a clear sense of self and trying to find oneself" bit that some have going? Sincerely asking because it's an interesting trend that most of the NFs that I think are mistyped seem to be INFP.

Isn't this typical for most people of a certain age? To search for an identity?
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
"No, dammit! I'm unique!"

I thought exactly the same thing when I first read the INFP profile and recognized the fit. Followed shortly afterwards by an intense wave of relief that I wasn't unique after all.

While aspects of the profile rankled, I didn't really ever dislike the idea of being an INFP until I arrived at these MBTI forums and became exposed to the stereotypes and, in a few cases, unflattering examples of the type.
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
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INFJ
Lots of people have turned in their INFP cards!What is up?!
Every INFP I've ever met was awesome. I dated one for years, and he was an amazing guy, not spiritual either really, and he was a badass football player. Although, deep down he was artsy. It was a secret though, and no one was really supposed to know.;)

I have occasionally had SPness envy.:wubbie: because I super heart SPs. Sometimes I think that I wish I could throw all caution to the wind like they do. But then I remember who I am, and I actually love who I am. I'm spontaneous and impulsive, but I do consider the consequences of my actions and how they could impact myself and others, and I make these considerations before I do something. I can't get around it, although I've tried. And I've come to see that maybe that's not too bad of a trait to have; although I sometimes feel stifled by it, and every now and then, I regret pondering over acting. But I emphasize that it's only every now and then.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
While aspects of the profile rankled, I didn't really ever dislike the idea of being an INFP until I arrived at these MBTI forums and became exposed to the stereotypes and, in a few cases, unflattering examples of the type.

True that. It all confirmed for me that there was no way I was an INFP.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
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INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I know I have a tendency to bristle when people say things like this. I don't want to be predictable! So when you can say, "Oh, sigh, her behavior is so INFP!" or "INFPs do this..." It's like, "No, dammit! I'm unique!"

Introverted feeling, I guess? Your extroverted feeling makes you dig the commonality? While I am supposed to be one of a kind?
Eh. I don't think being an INFJ makes me any less unique (and yes, I also like being one of a kind although it's not something that I wear proudly like a medal). I'm still unique even amongst INFJs; plenty of things about me you won't find in an INFJ profile. All people are unique. You're one of 16 types, not one of 16 persons.

Isn't this typical for most people of a certain age? To search for an identity?

Maybe so. But it's even more of an NF thing (and Enneagram 4 thing, which many INFPs are), and apparently an INFP thing. Also a good portion of the people I'm thinking of are over "a certain age."
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I tested as an INFP when I was sixteen.... I was a total INFP child... and yet I have spent the last nine months trying to prove to myself and others that I am a succession of other personality types- INTP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFP, ISTP, ENFP.

Why? Why am/was I so adamant against being an INFP?

Possibilities:

1. They can seem so full of themselves sometimes... elitist, condescending, superior, judgmental, etc, or at the least, profoundly self-absorbed. (Pot calling the kettle black? :doh:)

2. It seems like such a cliche to be an INFP, especially when you are a writer (which I am) and have thought about being an English teacher, musician, artist. I want to be a contradiction, not one of the mold, which is such an INFP thing, non? :rolleyes:

3. I am not spiritual.

4. I don't have a deep-seated desire to help others, although I am constantly rescuing insects, mice, etc.

I know there's more, but I don't feel like expounding at the moment. Besides, I'm curious as to whether other's have had this issue, INFP or not.

Have any of you not wanted to be the type you actually are?


Man I'm pretty happy that an INFP finally acknowledged these things about his own type.

I think it's very mature of you to admit that your type shows these patterns even if you personally don't. Bravo.

Hopefully now the rest of the INFPs on this forum can stop pretending that these perceptions of INFPs are just my own personal delusions because INFP parents beat me/an INFP woman dumped me/there must otherwise be something WRONG with me if I don't like/don't agree with them!

I must say it's pretty annoying to be told by an Fi dom that I'm incapable of discussing the issues objectively, since apparently being able to pick out the negative traits means I'm totally incapable of seeing any of the positive ones, therefore my opinion is invalid.

It sure is awesome how much they need to find emotionally-motivated reasons to discredit threatening opinions of themselves. Ne projects Fi's emotional bias onto others, again.


On the other hand, I have a handful of INFP friends whose presence I truly enjoy. I'm about the N-est and P-est person that I know; trust me, I understand and experience firsthand on a daily basis the positive talents of INFPs. When they're mature and self-actualized, INFPs are honestly fantastic...they just seem rather uncommon and it's a really hit-or-miss type.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Eh. I don't think being an INFJ makes me any less unique (and yes, I also like being one of a kind although it's not something that I wear proudly like a medal).

I'm not saying that you are any less unique than I, by any means. 'Not wearing it proudly like a medal' I believe is the difference.

Not to mention, as an INFJ, you are supposed to have tremendous foresight and be truly unique and almost mystical, to paraphrase the descriptions. Who the hell wouldn't want that?
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
They can seem so full of themselves sometimes... elitist, condescending, superior, judgmental, etc, or at the least, profoundly self-absorbed. (Pot calling the kettle black? :doh:)
Really? Never seen that consistently from an INFP, but I've seen it from other types for sure.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Man I'm pretty happy that an INFP finally acknowledged these things about his own type.

I think it's very mature of you to admit that your type shows these patterns even if you personally don't. Bravo.

You're welcome. Thanks for feeding my ego! I am the shit! :D (Joking for those who didn't catch the irony.)

And I'm female, fyi.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Man I'm pretty happy that an INFP finally acknowledged these things about his own type.

I think it's very mature of you to admit that your type shows these patterns even if you personally don't. Bravo.

Hopefully now the rest of the INFPs on this forum can stop pretending that these perceptions of INFPs are just my own personal delusions because INFP parents beat me/an INFP woman dumped me/there must otherwise be something WRONG with me if I don't like/don't agree with them!

I must say it's pretty annoying to be told by an Fi dom that I'm incapable of discussing the issues objectively, since apparently being able to pick out the negative traits means I'm totally incapable of seeing any of the positive ones, therefore my opinion is invalid.

It sure is awesome how much they need to find emotionally-motivated reasons to discredit threatening opinions of themselves.

Consider as a possibility that there may exist an ENTP Fe Demand<tm>.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
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INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm not saying that you are any less unique than I, by any means. 'Not wearing it proudly like a medal' I believe is the difference.
Oh, I know. I was mentioning that in reference to the commonality aspect; I don't take solace in being like anyone else.

Not to mention, as an INFJ, you are supposed to have tremendous foresight and be truly unique and almost mystical, to paraphrase the descriptions. Who the hell wouldn't want that?

But as an INFP, you are incredibly creative and talented with writing and languages. Also, you're the Healer and the Dreamer, as opposed to the Counselor and the Confidant (INFJ). Who wouldn't want to be that?
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
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Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
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7w6
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sx/so
Consider as a possibility that there may exist an ENTP Fe Demand<tm>.

I do, but it's still a distant third priority.

I would rather hang out with most INFPs than most xSTJs, and neither has much in the way of Fe. I'm Ne dom, remember? I can use that to get along with INFPs most times in most situations, as it's a much higher priority than Fe.


Really? Never seen that consistently from an INFP, but I've seen it from other types for sure.

I'd say start buying lottery tickets.
 
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