[INFP] Why I didn't want to be an INFP

[JivinJeffJones]

But as an INFP, you are incredibly creative and talented with writing and languages. Also, you're the Healer and the Dreamer, as opposed to the Counselor and the Confidant (INFJ). Who wouldn't want to be that?

Would you?

 

[Charmed Justice]

I'd say start buying lottery tickets.

Haha! I'm serious. I'd need examples, but that's entirely different thread.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Would you?

Yes, definitely. Except that I'm already a few of those...

 

[Udog]

For some reason, I thought you were an INFP back when you were an ISFP. Probably because when a person makes so many drastic type changes, 8 times out of 10 they are INFP. That, and you give me an INFP-ish vibe. I don't know...why do INFPs want to be every type except INFP? Is it part of the "not having a clear sense of self and trying to find oneself" bit that some have going? Sincerely asking because it's an interesting trend that most of the NFs that I think are mistyped seem to be INFP. I think it's a given that one is not going to fit perfectly into a type description, so why?

I experienced this when I was in college. Been there, done that.

Sometimes it's just someone who isn't happy with who they are, and is surprised at how much they relate to the INFP description. So they go me = bad, me = INFP, therefore INFP = bad. Then, the road to self improvement is as simple as changing their type. By becoming more decisive, they think they are INFJ. By rejecting their personal opinions and becoming cold, they think they are INTP. By overcoming shyness, they must now be ENFP. You get the idea.

I've never wanted to be another type. I like being INFJ. I think it's awesome. Possibly because I am one, and I'm coming from an INFJ perspective.

I used to have INFJ envy several years back. On the surface, INFP/INFJ share the same insightful nature, yet INFJs tend to be forceful and direct in ways INFPs are not. While we both tend to hate making decisions when it comes to everyday small stuff (where do we go for dinner?), INFJs tend to be really good at making the big life decisions and carrying them through. INFJs tend to have more social grace than your average INFP as well, as they can have fun with the introverted nerdy type and the adventurous bad boy.

Combine all that with the fact that INFJ love threads abound, as ENTPs, ENFPs, INTPs, INFPs, other INFJs, INTJs, ENTJs, ESTPs, ISTPs, and even ISFPs have all proclaimed their desire for an INFJ, and it's not hard to understand why some INFPs would rather be INFJ.

 

[simulatedworld]

^ Sometimes I want to be ENTJ, and then I have another discussion with Jaguar and remember I don't.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I must say it's pretty annoying to be told by an Fi dom that I'm incapable of discussing the issues objectively, since apparently being able to pick out the negative traits means I'm totally incapable of seeing any of the positive ones, therefore my opinion is invalid.

It's fine to only pick out negative traits in an appropriate discussion, but doing so in a thread where the person was trying to type themselves seems out of place. Balanced is called for in that situation.

As you can see, INFPs go into Fi denial, so if people only focus on the negatives of being an INFP when individuals are trying to determine their type, chances are they will pick some other type just to avoid the INFP label.

If you're in a "what do you think about INFPs thread" and you want to rail on about how what you dislike about INFPs, then go for it.

Sometimes it's just someone who isn't happy with who they are, and is surprised at how much they relate to the INFP description. So they go me = bad, me = INFP, therefore INFP = bad. Then, the road to self improvement is as simple as changing their type. By becoming more decisive, they think they are INFJ. By rejecting their personal opinions and becoming cold, they think they are INTP. By overcoming shyness, they must now be ENFP. You get the idea.

That's very true. There's also a little bit of an "I'm not neurotic, so I can't be INFP" attitude .

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I experienced this when I was in college. Been there, done that.

Sometimes it's just someone who isn't happy with who they are, and is surprised at how much they relate to the INFP description. So they go me = bad, me = INFP, therefore INFP = bad. Then, the road to self improvement is as simple as changing their type. By becoming more decisive, they think they are INFJ. By rejecting their personal opinions and becoming cold, they think they are INTP. By overcoming shyness, they must now be ENFP. You get the idea.

Very interesting, and I believe there's a lot of truth to what you've said. That does seem to be the thinking around a lot of the INFP mistypes.

I used to have INFJ envy several years back. On the surface, INFP/INFJ share the same insightful nature, yet INFJs tend to be forceful and direct in ways INFPs are not. While we both tend to hate making decisions when it comes to everyday small stuff (where do we go for dinner?), INFJs tend to be really good at making the big life decisions and carrying them through. INFJs tend to have more social grace than your average INFP as well, as they can have fun with the introverted nerdy type and the adventurous bad boy.

Combine all that with the fact that INFJ love threads abound, as ENTPs, ENFPs, INTPs, INFPs, other INFJs, INTJs, ENTJs, ESTPs, ISTPs, and even ISFPs have all proclaimed their desire for an INFJ, and it's not hard to understand why some INFPs would rather be INFJ.

Yes, INFJ and INFP are a lot alike in many ways. I can see what you mean about being forceful and direct, but why would a P want to be more decisive? And doesn't J = judgmental, closed-minded bastard (according to this forum)? I think I would want to be a P, if I wasn't a J and didn't have a problem being one. If you get what I mean.

And now we come to the most crucial reason why people mistype: Typology Central. Everyone seems to be okay with their type until they come here and start seeing that other types get more praise. And I do think that some of the criticism that certain types get is unwarranted and a bit superfluous. Every type has its flaws and we all know what they are, no need to hammer them home over and over. But being INFJ comes with its own set of troubles, many of which are directly related to the aspects of INFJ that others like.

 

[Snuggletron]

I was also alarmed at the negative INFP stigma, and I've been guilty of maybe wanting to be another type. But I think it's important to become a more rounded INFP and break stereotypes, however difficult that can be. It can be hard to relate to others, I've heard INFP is the shadow of western civ (or ideal american lifestyle), it is inevitable to feel a bit out of place or useless. But I identify that as a bad way to think about being an INFP. You can do anything other types can, just develop parts of you that are your inferior functions, I guess.

 

[Udog]

Yes, INFJ and INFP are a lot alike in many ways. I can see what you mean about being forceful and direct, but why would a P want to be more decisive? And doesn't J = judgmental, closed-minded bastard (according to this forum)? I think I would want to be a P, if I wasn't a J and didn't have a problem being one. If you get what I mean.

Many INFPs have received alot of crap because we didn't have direction, were flaky, couldn't make a decision, couldn't stick with our decision, etc. Lots of P types also get similar flak, but INFPs tend to take it harder than most. Plus, you only need to look at this thread to see we still get accused of being judgmental and close-minded, despite our P ways.

Alternatively, INFJs are often viewed as the most P-like of the Js. Those both help explain why INFJ is an acceptable J alternative to INFP.

But being INFJ comes with its own set of troubles, many of which are directly related to the aspects of INFJ that others like.

Agreed. It's easy to overlook facts like that, though, as it steals some of our emotional thunder. Understanding that we all have negatives can be calming to an INFP that needs permission to not be perfect, though.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Yes, INFJ and INFP are a lot alike in many ways. I can see what you mean about being forceful and direct, but why would a P want to be more decisive? And doesn't J = judgmental, closed-minded bastard (according to this forum)? I think I would want to be a P, if I wasn't a J and didn't have a problem being one. If you get what I mean.

And now we come to the most crucial reason why people mistype: Typology Central. Everyone seems to be okay with their type until they come here and start seeing that other types get more praise. And I do think that some of the criticism that certain types get is unwarranted and a bit superfluous. Every type has its flaws and we all know what they are, no need to hammer them home over and over. But being INFJ comes with its own set of troubles, many of which are directly related to the aspects of INFJ that others like.

We're really only P on the exterior; ultimately, our dominant function is a judging one. I think it's a big (and maybe unpleasant) surprise for people when we do slam the gavel down, because our external self is usually so flexible.

I agree that TypoC distorts perspective, haha. I still like it here though

 

[Orangey]

I kinda like INFPs. I still have a small suspicion that I might be INFP instead of INTP, especially with all this talk about the frequency of INFP type-denial. They tend to have such nice eyes!

 

[Laurie]

I didn't want to be enfp when I first was tested in college (very low T) because I was in engineering and the feeling part did not appeal to me. I also didn't appreciate that I scored low E because I wanted to be "extremely outgoing"

Then in my 20s I started to feel like I didn't fit in with everyone else. They drove their kids places, I would talk to my kids about how they made telephone poles while we drove somewhere. At one point I even saw a kid looking at me like he had not heard anyone talk like that. I just wanted to be an ESFP, normal person. Or SJ.

I didn't have the letters in front of me (other than the college test, which I ignored), but I was trying to be someone else.

 

[William K]

Where is an "I'm an INFP and proud to be one!" emoticon when you need one?

Seriously though, if I believed that changing 4 letters would change who I am, I might consider being another type, probably an ENFP or ENFJ. They don't seem to have as many 'negatives' attached to their description. For an INFP, even the 'positives' such as being truly a Mr Nice Guy comes with a "Nice guys always finish last". I think it's normal for an INFP to feel that the grass is greener on the other side.

But life alas doesn't work that way. That shouldn't stop anyone from improving who you are though and working on actively using any of the 8 cognitive functions.

In the end, you are who you make yourself to be, not what 4 letters of the alphabet say you are or are not.

 

[Stanton Moore]

Where is an "I'm an INFP and proud to be one!" emoticon when you need one?

Seriously though, if I believed that changing 4 letters would change who I am, I might consider being another type, probably an ENFP or ENFJ. They don't seem to have as many 'negatives' attached to their description. For an INFP, even the 'positives' such as being truly a Mr Nice Guy comes with a "Nice guys always finish last". I think it's normal for an INFP to feel that the grass is greener on the other side.

But life alas doesn't work that way. That shouldn't stop anyone from improving who you are though and working on actively using any of the 8 cognitive functions.

In the end, you are who you make yourself to be, not what 4 letters of the alphabet say you are or are not.

WURD!

 

[Ginkgo]

I empathize with you.

I think that the best way you can overcome the bad INFP stereotypes is by looking at "famous" ones like William Shakespeare and Homer. These men were highly influential to society, and I cannot see a reason why you wouldn't want to identify with them, or even aspire to be somewhat like them.

Secondly, you have to keep in mind that the online illustrations of INFPs are extremely fallible and crappy. They represent INFPs in an effeminate and insecure light. You don't have to fit the mold to what they say. Be your own INFP. Don't conform to what the masses say.

EDIT: I am glad you made this thread. You read my mind.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I think that the best way you can overcome the bad INFP stereotypes is by looking at "famous" ones like William Shakespeare and Homer. These men were highly influential to society, and I cannot see a reason why you wouldn't want to identify with them, or even aspire to be somewhat like them.

I think one of the problems with being INFP is that it seems you must take the strengths of the type to extraordinary lengths before they become valued by society (as opposed to just by your friends), whereas most other types have strengths which are esteemed even in a moderate or mediocre form.

 

[rainoneventide]

When I found out I was an INFP, I didn't really know anything about MBTI before then. So when I read it I was like, woah, this is scarily accurate. So no, I've never wanted to be any other type. I mean, it'd be nice if I were an ENFJ or ENFP, but I'm not going to beat myself up for being an INFP... even if it's freaking hard in most of our societies.

 

[Snuggletron]

maybe if enough INFPs defy the stigma in the next decade or so, the many embarrassing type descriptions will change.

brb writing depressing poetry after crying when my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone

(btw I don't have a girlfriend, she's imaginary)

 

[Ginkgo]

I think one of the problems with being INFP is that it seems you must take the strengths of the type to extraordinary lengths before they become valued by society (as opposed to just by your friends), whereas most other types have strengths which are esteemed even in a moderate or mediocre form.

True. Damn, I guess I'm too idealistic.

 

[Chloe]

I think one of the problems with being INFP is that it seems you must take the strengths of the type to extraordinary lengths before they become valued by society (as opposed to just by your friends), whereas most other types have strengths which are esteemed even in a moderate or mediocre form.

good point.. and actually it annoys me when they say for any type "you should be lucky you're XYZC, look, president was XYZC", i mean, wth ?
president is president, and I'm me... there are only 16 types, of course there will always be many celebrities, artists, and scientists of your type. It doenst make you special more or less.
etc.

the same with INFPs, people try to inflate their self-esteem with "your type usually has great strenghts, look at Ivana Orleanska", but with that INFPs image only gets worse because it turns out being only martyr or some sacred person means being "good INFP"..