[Other] Kyuuei's Dream Journal

[kyuuei]

My throat feels so dry. My body feels feverish--like my skin is under a heat lamp, and making everything else uncomfortable. My eyes feel swollen and ache, and I slowly open them--and I nearly sigh in relief that there are no bright lights--the dim candlelight is harsh enough. There is a soft breath on my ears that would make me blush if my face weren't already flushed. The voice is deep enough to make my spine rumble, goosebumps flurry down my arms. The voice is so familiar--unmistakeable. "Don't try to move.. You should not be awake just yet. Go back to sleep until the medicine has more time to work. I'm right here--nothing will get to you."

I don't want to sleep though, not after hearing him! But every limb feels like it is tied down. I cannot tell if they really are, but my immediate guess is that they are not. I close my eyes at least. The candlelight was too much to handle anyways. I try to whisper for water.. and my voice is dead, my lips barely moving. He leans closer, and I repeat it again. There is a sudden rush of coolness to my lips. A moist piece of linen pressed against them, it takes so much effort just to moisten my mouth.. but I am grateful for it. There are footsteps in the room, further away, but since he is not reacting to them, I don't try to either.

 

[Ginkgo]

I can't remember much.. I remember being smaller, like a child. I remember wanting to go out. Everything in my mind, however, focused on the fact that traveling from place to place in this world involved just stepping over the edge, and using a device that messed with gravity. Every so often I have a dream that involves me needing to fall for a long period of time.

How do you deal with heights? Or... should I ask, how do the heights deal with you?

 

[kyuuei]

^ Very carefully.. I avoid them whenever possible for the most part. I'm okay with fence-high heights (for the most part..) Typically anything higher than my own height starts to freak me out. People picking me up makes me scared.. although climbing on top of my roof is not scary, the process of getting down or close to the edge is. Falling from heights is something I have never felt comfortable around.

There are many dreams I continue to refuse to write in here for one reason or another--they reveal too much about me, they're not rated kosher for public viewing, or they're just too gore-filled. Since people take dreams to mean anywhere between Nothing-o'clock and Holy-shit-its-a-prophecy-time, I tend to keep the more personal ones away from here. I'll just have to rely on my steadily declining memory for those.

I dreamt that I was in my house again. I had a sun-room in the corner of the house, with windows that had herbs and plant boxes below them, and paper bags tied to the ceiling everywhere--drying out herbs I'd already plucked. I'd just finished spring cleaning the whole house--smudging it with sage sticks and spraying infused tea into the air. I was in a sun dress, white with large, yellow blossoms decorating it, and it was a bit loose on me and swayed easily. I was singing, and stepping along the floor with grace that I normally don't possess, blowing bubbles into each room. It's a typical ritual. I end up sitting in the middle of the sun room again, sipping a glass of the tea I used to purify the rooms, and enjoying a piece of melon bread. I seemed so happy in the dream--but I couldn't help but notice.. like everything in the dream was focusing on it and screaming it in the most loud way a silence can, that I was the only one in the dream. Usually, there is a feeling of others around..a hint that someone is not far away at all. Sure, Gods willing nature was surrounding me--I do have those from time to time where I am deep in nature and I do not get the feeling of being alone in a dream during those.. But.

In this dream, I was alone. It is not very often I have dreams like that.. moreless happy ones. I'm not sure about this one.

 

[kyuuei]

Dream 1 -

There was an open building area. There were bunk beds built into walls that once supported buildings, but nothing is there now. I wake up next to Rubes in one. He's rushing me to get up. The place is completely demolished.. We run towards a large building, and we slide to a stop as lightning strikes it--and I am in awe and amazement, so I'm forced to stop and look. The lightning is completely stopped mid-strike. Every tendril of light is completely frozen in mid-air. I narrowly avoid one that was going to connect with me. I rush away from it because Rubes pulls my arm, and the lightning falls back up towards the sky--and creates a couple balls of lightning instead. They move with tendrils swaying downward, and look eerily like jellyfish, but one falls straight into my chest and I'm forced onto the ground. I don't feel hurt, but Rubes is panicking all the same and lifts me up and carries me towards the bed. We're eating a lunchable then, and I'm mad at him that he drank the milk in mine.

Dream 2 -

This one was a ngihtmare directly inspired by Marble Hornet's youtube videos because I watched them last night.

 

[kyuuei]

When I was a kid, I had a dream so vivid I didn't even know I had fallen asleep. I was laying in the grass, looking up at clouds in the sky. I ended up falling up into the sky, towards the clouds, only to be plunged into a massive world of circus-like antics and crazy colors. The clouds had been a gate, and the place was so massive and busy and colorful it was overwhelming. Things were going on over my head, under my feet, and in every direction. Giant carousels went through the whole street, banners flickered wildly in the wind up in the sky, and music and noise carried echoed off of everything.

Another time as a child I remember how vivid and beautiful the sky was while amongst the clouds as the sun was setting. We had just cleared a massive cloud and the sky was open again, the ocean spanning forever below us, a fleet of airships with me standing at the front of the lead ship. The clouds were a rainbow of sunset colors, everything was bathing in a lovely reddish yellow hue, and the sky itself was still a lighter blue, turning darker in the distance like a blanket that hadn't quite reached us yet. The wind was still, but gently floating along, and I remember it being warm like a summer evening.

Last night, I thought I was in a field of grass and wildflowers. The blue flowers were so numerous in one spot it looked like a blue, shifting lake against the wind, the grass spotted with clumps of yellow and red and white flowers. I was laying on my side, in the grass, watching the flowers sway, and the sun was just rising enough to be bright. My body didn't hurt, my hips didn't ache, my shins didn't itch, my jaw didn't feel tight and I wasn't gritting my teeth too hard, and I didn't feel tired or stressed or rushed. I wasn't struggling against anything, no one was yelling at me, no one could be seen. No roads, no traffic noise, no bugs or animals bothering me. Just the flowers, swaying back and forth. I could feel my skirt shifting slightly along my legs, and I felt neither awake and energetic, nor sleepy and lethargic.

 

[kyuuei]

I was running through the forest. I was barefoot, somehow my feet didn't hurt.. or they were too numb by now to hurt. It wasn't a fun, happy sort of running.. I reeked of desperation. I was pushing myself off of trees as they were getting in my way, trying to use them to redirect my momentum without losing too much speed. Weaving in and out of them, without any of the grace that you'd see on a disney movie. The dusk sky made everything blur into itself, and while I could vaguely see, everything in the forest played tricks on me. I stumbled hard, falling along muck and rocks down a steep ditch that I'd tred on too quickly. I scrambled for my balance and wits, ignoring the throb in my head and shoulder. I ran up the ditch a ways, then risked scaling it back up and successfully continued on.

I was running out of steam quickly, I knew I was too tired to keep going, and while searching for a hiding spot I saw a clearing that caught my eye. It was odd how it caught my attention--like everything else didn't even matter anymore. Panting, I trotted over to it without near the urgency that I was running with before. The clearing was sheltering a very small cabin-like hut, worn and on its last leg with vines over growing it, and rotten wood haphazardly planking the walls. A rickety door barely hung on its hinge, and the roof was flat. The trees around it had sticks hanging from them--tiny sticks stripped of their outer bark, tied to the tree with strands of long red hair.

I was walking by this point, looking at the sticks that hung like hundreds of windchimes all along the branches. I stopped at the door, my vision felt like a fish-eye lens, I couldn't see anything else. Something in my stomach wretched, like I'd be physically sick, my gut telling me to walk away. I couldn't move. I didn't. My hand started to shake, and reach for the door. My head felt fuzzy, and wild, and when I touched the doorknob it was oddly warm to the touch. When it creeked open, I felt absolutely dizzy and my senses were dulled. I didn't even know I'd already entered, and was robotically walking toward a small chair in the middle of the room. I sat in it, slouched and lazy, my head feeling so heavy. As I sat, I had a dull ache swim through my spine.. an itch in my mind. A small, tiny voice drowned out in haze and smoke was screaming and tiny fists were pounding on the walls that blocked them from reaching me. I sat there, eery and creepy like a doll, lifeless almost in the chair of this dark, rotting box. Slivers of blue light from the moon starting to pour in striped the ground, I realized I must have been there for hours for the moon to climb that high already. It was the first conscious thought I'd had for hours. I was suddenly afraid.. my body was aching, and refused to move, I had no idea how I'd gotten there, or what had happened to me.. or what would happen to me. This place was awful, I knew I had to leave, but nothing moved.

 

[kyuuei]

The dreams when I try to scream but my voice is silenced scare me more than most others. I know sleep paralysis is what's truly preventing me from screaming, but since I'm trying so hard to, my body is literally aching from filling up with air and not being able to exhaust it as fast as I'm taking it in. I get dizzy, and my dreams get fuzzy and I wake up and feel like someone had my voice box. Like some awful version of the little mermaid where I didn't make a deal, someone just stole that shit.

I dreamt of decorating my home.. MY home. I was putting the final touches on it for Halloween, looking and checking to ensure every inch of it was detailed with creepy, scary props and accessories. As I looked on in total satisfaction, a male's voice behind me says, "It looks great!" And I laugh and turn around--but I never see who it is.

 

[kyuuei]

I was walking through the trails I usually run on. It wasn't dusk, but the sky was dark enough to be.. Rain was coming, and the thunder started getting loud enough to make the trees shake. The wind picked up suddenly and pushed the limbs around like a bully angry at their father or something.. But I wasn't scared at all. The paved road itself was hot from the summer sun still, and made an odd sensation of feeling the heat radiating around my legs as the colder wind tries to lift it away. I stopped a moment, thinking I saw a deer, but then continued on. The sky continued to darken, and lightning kept flickering and striking close enough to make the space go white for a moment. The mile marker said I was still a half mile to my car, and rain drops started to come down.

 

[kyuuei]

My first dream was an extremely graphic one.. Every so often, I have a dream where it was so real I wake up nervous that it was true. We were taking care of kittens, and my two cats had become very motherly to them. The kittens had to stay outside because I was allergic, so we started feeding the cats outside and we even got them a small nesting-ish area to bundle up in. For some reason, my mind created a firestorm that was believable, and while I was terrified, the only thing I can truly remember are all the cats being burned and destroyed--sticking together, fur melted, my cat's eye missing and ants crawling freely through the socket... I woke up sick to my stomach.

When I went back to sleep, I was in some Billy Madison-esque situation, where I was stuck back in high school even though I clearly wasn't meant to be there. I was in theatrics class, and while our teacher was bipolar on giving a shit. The first day, he didn't, but the second day, there were rows of sandy dunes where our desks were suppose to be. We were given roles in a play--and this girl really wanted the lead role, but the blond was given it. She got pissed, stood up and left.
The sand started to move around me, and I grabbed onto a solid-ish surface just underneath it. I started to be dragged backwards, and the Phantom of the Opera music was glaring overhead, and the surface took the shape of a giant otter with red eyes staring me down. It was meant to be creepy and scary, and I thought it was creepy and awesome. When the otter ducked back into the sand, the other dunes started rearranging people and trying to scare them. [MENTION=6109]Halla74[/MENTION] jumped out of the dune for his break, and I laughed and started shootin' the bull with him. "No wonder I was lifted so easily--you're a beast!.. How much do you get paid to do all this?" etc. He gave me this look like "Tf are you doing in high school?" but just said "Not enough, that's for sure." It was a pretty odd, light-hearted dream... much better than the first.

 

[kyuuei]

I dreamt I was reading the cards for a strange woman dressed in white. I did an H-configuration layout, reading them for her based on a lover she had. I was nervous to tell her the cards say that he didn't care for her the same way she cared for him, although he did indeed care.

Later on, while studying the cards and still learning to memorize all of their meanings, I noticed one of them was missing. I went to search for it around the table area, but to no avail. The Empress was missing.

 

[kyuuei]

A close friend of mine and I were playing a card game. For every round that we lost, we had to answer any question the other asked. Of course the questions got grittier as we went, and we were laughing and having so much fun playing. The rain had just stopped outside, but the thunder was still rumbling. We were playing by candlelight, waiting for the electricity to kick back on.

Apparently, he had stopped by for a visit, and had never been in my house before. (My future house.. the one I've built in my mind.) I lit up my lantern, because I'm a nerd and who uses flashlights anymore when battery-operated lanterns are so much cuter? I was taking him through the different rooms and areas, showing him the place and all my silly collections and things. I refused to let him into a certain area of the house, conveniently overlooking it, and eventually led him down the trail to my small greenhouse my father helped me build. I had been learning how to grow carnivorous plants for the fun of it between my studies, and I had a small seating area there in the middle with a fountain trickling water.

At this point, it felt like time had blinked.. as if we'd been there longer than my dream was proposing we'd had.

I started to play a CD, as I usually read and listened to music in there, of an amazing poet I had heard, and watched some short-movies on youtube via my phone. It was a very nice blend of technology and old-world feel.

 

[kyuuei]

I had an intense dream I cannot post.

When I went back to sleep though.. I dreamt I was in a small, golden circle. It was made of wires of light, encasing me, each wire giving off a slight hazy mist that completed the circle. I found my arms reaching through the bars. I didn't feel trapped.. nor did I feel I was in the wrong place. I was where I was suppose to be, and I was content. Yet, I was reaching outside anyways--I had seen a flash of white light beyond the walls. My eye leaned in close, to try and see. I felt a soft hand grasp the fingertips of mine, and although I couldn't see the hand itself, it felt as warm as if it were there. The light was dim, but I could see it, and it was moving a bit closer, flashing and flickering like lightning contained in a single form, pieces of the bolts escaping into the darkness. The hand holding my fingertips went to grasp my hand entirely--and tendrils from the dark around violently grasped at my ankles and started to pull me downward. They itched and burned, like poison ivy on fire if ivy felt like liquid latex.

For some reason, it occured to me this only happened because I ventured outside. I couldn't feel the hand on mine anymore, but the light was rushing my way now, as if it were out of time and had to rush what it was originally doing.

 

[kyuuei]

I lived on a pier-like area near the beach. I knew there had been a massive storm that evening, but it was dying down now--it was still so early in the morning that the sun wasn't even near up. I started with my morning jog, along the beachline, and I couldn't see very well but I'd memorized that beach so I wasn't worried about that. I slam RIGHT into a metal tower. When I get my wits together about me, I realize the slimy film on it is from the water--and that there are hundreds of them... Everywhere. Like they'd been pulled up like a magnet. The long towers were old bombs that hadn't gone off yet from water warfare. I freeze a moment, scared.. There is a huge, broken apart ship amongst them also.

Time flashes forward, and I'm sitting on top of a fenceline, with some of my army buddies, watching them clear the area. I get into a disagreement with a half toad-nasty-overlord-thing, half snapping-turtle that's trying to climb over the fence. He breaks a piece of the fence out and starts to make it in for our armory--and I chase him down. Apparently, he's super dangerous and I'm just too dumb to care. I get my buddy Dias to help me subdue him, and succeed at what I was doing.

Later on, I'm in LT's office, and he's making me write down a list of things I need to work on about myself... Somehow, these things are coordinating with different spots on the dollar bill, and are getting stratched out. A couple of my friends are in the room with me, as I grab a magic marker and write huge smiley faces over the stratched out marks. My friends are laughing and/or groaning at my childishness. LT starts to laugh as well, and I shrug.

 

[kyuuei]

I'm panting, as heavily as I can while trying to be quiet.. my head is leaning against a wooden pillar, and my knees are shaking trying to keep myself standing. My arms feel like they're about to fall off. My breathing slows to silent, deep breaths in and out slowly. It's completely dark.. no hint of light. I hear creeking, and I can see a figure walking across darker than the natural pitch black around it. It has a steady pace, walking right by me and then off into the next room, through the wall.

I'm frozen.. I can't move anything. Suddenly I feel a tightness slam against my neck, and when I gasp inward plastic crinkles around my face and sticks to my mouth. I reach my hands up and claw at it--breaking it open at my mouth while damaging my own face a bit in the process. I push with my legs as hard as I can to send my attacker backwards faster than it's willing to go. I succeed in making it stumble over, and myself as well. I rip the bag off my head and back up, rushing for the door as fast as I can. I open it and start trying to run out. My friend is running toward the house as fast as he can. My hair gets grabbed and I fall back again, my hands trying to cling to the trim of the door, then the doorknob.

My friend starts jerking on the doorknob, trying to open the door to get to me--but it sounds so far away now.

 

[kyuuei]

I was at an outdoors shop in a bazaar-sort of area, it was well past dark and everything was lit with torches, lanterns, and candles. I was admiring myself in the mirror inside of the shop--trying on a new set of armor. "It's so much lighter than the one I wear.. Does it still hold up?" The lady was assuring me the stitching on the insides were done by her own hands, and why this stitching is better than that. The gentleman she owned the shop with, presumably her husband, did all the metalwork and went into the type of work he's done to this particular piece.

"It's a one of a kind!" He said proudly, his eyes made me think he was genuine. I nodded and laughed, "I promise you I believe that." I was concerned on the price, and weighing my options.. With this, I definitely couldn't buy the sword I had been eyeing.. but I've been so tired lugging my current armor set around all day. I could just use a cheaper shield--..

ENFJ interupts my discussion with myself to mention, "How about I buy it then?" I look over suddenly, and blush, and shake my head. "No way! At that price?! I can afford it myself for sure!" He looks at me, a bit too cocky in this situation--as if he already has the debate won. "I won't be there with you to protect you--the least I can do is ensure you have a quality piece to do so for me. It is the least I can do." His next look was that of a 'Don't be mad at me for this' expression.. the one after being, 'Please don't be annoyed that I read you so easily either.' I was even more annoyed by all of it. I grunted and pulled it off. "I'm paying for half, for sure!" I slammed my part of it down, and handed the piece to the woman that had been following me around for the past few months.

Later on.. ENFJ is leaning in my doorway, while I'm going over maps by the fire. "You still mad?"
I groan and sit back in my chair. "No.. I'm not mad."
"I'm only expressing my thanks."
"I'd wish you express it some other way. I don't need gifts and things like that.. it doesn't promote good character."
"What way would you wish then?"
"Don't use that cocky, flirty tone with me."
"Don't use so many defense mechanisms against me then, and we'll call it even."

I was getting frustrated and annoyed even more-so. I put all of the maps away, and set out a deck of cards. "Lets play." I refused to be in a bad mood tonight--I did something amazing earlier, and I should be celebrating!

ENFJ slides into a chair across from me, "You'll lose.."
"Not this time." I said with fake arrogance, shuffling and then dealing the cards.

I dont' remember between then and hours later.. I wake up to ensure the fire is still burning and it hasn't caught anything yet. I thought I saw an eye in it--.. not a complete eye, just the iris and long lashes, but when I blinked it was gone. My legs were getting the slight sensation of being sore from the traveling. I wondered if I was ready for a tournament.. So many rules, as opposed to doing things on the road where rules don't exist. But it's the only thing I'm good at, this sort of thing.. if I can't do this, what can I do?

I felt a hand warmer than my face brush my cheek, and I fell asleep nearly as soon as it did.

 

[kyuuei]

I was setting up a ritual. I had cleared the area of my living room, candles were already in place, and a bucket of water just in case within a short distance. (Only I would have safety measures for DREAM fire.. and make it point to notice it..) The place flickered around, as candles were the only light, but they were plentiful and enough. I had a soft pillow to sit on, and the herbs I'd been drying were smoking still in the small plate. I was just humming, and writing, and clearing my mind, sealing the circle off.

I was making a talisman of sorts out of a piece of charred wood. I spent a while on it, concentrating and passing it through the tests I needed it to take. I laid back, and set it on my chest, and meditated.

When I opened my eyes, it was gone--the ribbon it was laced up in remained, but the piece of wood inside was missing.

 

[kyuuei]

There was a huge, mansion like school we were all at. Strangers I called friends, and myself. It was a school of magic.. or energy, might be more accurate. There were energy animals running about--animals that pieced themselves together via energy orbs leftover from casting. I was trying to hide someone from a group of young girls... they were there to hurt him. I ended up cornering us into the bathroom and I had him hide up in the best hiding spot I could -- inside one of the three bathtubs that were above eye level. I kept insisting the girls give my privacy while I utilized the latrine, I never saw if they found him or not.

I had been avoiding a particular person that had gone crazy.. My ability was to re-spark dead energy shards, and bring energy back and re-charge it. The person I was running away from had the opposite. I saw her trail along the grasslines and I was re-sparking the shards, and they faded as I did, turning into energy the world could use again.. I turned around and she was there. My friends were there, but they couldn't do anything against her. She grabbed my arms and my face, a devilish laugh of victory cackling out of her. I fell back, my arm and my face burning--I could feel her trying to kill the energy within me, like every cell on my body was being stabbed and murdered, my arm was starting to glow the same golden shard color as the tiny ones on the ground.

I got scared--and then I reached down into myself and just started to push it away. I was reviving the cells inside of myself, and it started to spread like wildfire and before I knew it it was outside of my own body and started reviving cells within her own--which in turn was making pieces of her disappear from the world's energy absorbing it. I was trying to stop myself, but she wasn't letting go..

 

[kyuuei]

I had an odd dream where I was in a reverse aquarium--a terrarium under water--being supported entirely by the energy of others chanting, and me and someone else were fighting shadow-looking figures. I ended up trying to assist the chanters in keeping the thing together, and spiders started to crawl all along my body to try and push me out of my trance.

I had another odd dream where my family and I were walking along a bridge in a wooded area, and there were hippos in the waters below. I thought I was carrying my dog, but I lost her.. I was scared, thinking she had fallen into the water. I refused to believe some hippo ate her, so I kept looking for her and she was in the small house I went into.

Last night, I dreamt I was glowing a deep orangey-red hue, my hair was flapping around like the wind was that of hurricane-quality. I had no clothing to rustle around in. I was starring something down that stood just infront of me--I wouldn't be able to see it at all, except that light dampened and disappeared near it.. so my own light was making its shape. There was a wretched sound humming, changing pitches and tones.. I presume it to be talking.. I can't understand it, but somehow the images of an umbrella torn to shreds and of the sun sinking down were in my head. I grip my fists a bit tighter and smile with all the fake arrogance I can muster. "You'll never get him. Trying just weakens you."

 

[kyuuei]

My friend and I were at an outdoor event, and it was snowing outside. I didn't feel cold though. Snowflakes started to fall, and they were obviously made and not natural as they were all identical cookie-like snowmen. My friend and I were sharing eating it, and I looked closely and noticed that there was a tiny, tiny little thing moving in one of the see-through gum-like parts. It started to shoot tiny arrows at my friend's leg, which he stopped, and then it took out an ax. It kept getting bigger steadily.

Somehow, this transitioned into being shoved into an elevator. I was wearing a skirt, and for some reason I was really scared of elevators. There were two other people in the elevator laying there, not lifeless.. just asleep. There was a monster inside of the elevator, which I can't tell was the monster from in the cookie or something else entirely. It took one finger and made a "come here" gesture with it. I was shoved into the corner, sitting and shaking my head. The monster sat down infront of me, and starred into my eyes. Everything felt funky and vertigo-like.. My dream knowledge suggested that it had the ability to make people fall asleep. I didn't feel like I was sleeping, and it said in a quiet tone, "tell me your name." The monster's voice didn't sound harsh or horrid at all, even though his looks suggested otherwise. I went to move my mouth, and I realized I couldn't say anything.. I slumped forward and I felt myself turn upside down, and guessed I was being taken over the thing's shoulder. I heard some faint yelling in the distance from my friend's voice.

 

[kyuuei]

My friend and I were at an outdoor event, and it was snowing outside. I didn't feel cold though. Snowflakes started to fall, and they were obviously made and not natural as they were all identical cookie-like snowmen. My friend and I were sharing eating it, and I looked closely and noticed that there was a tiny, tiny little thing moving in one of the see-through gum-like parts. It started to shoot tiny arrows at my friend's leg, which he stopped, and then it took out an ax. It kept getting bigger steadily.

Somehow, this transitioned into being shoved into an elevator. I was wearing a skirt, and for some reason I was really scared of elevators. There were two other people in the elevator laying there, not lifeless.. just asleep. There was a monster inside of the elevator, which I can't tell was the monster from in the cookie or something else entirely. It took one finger and made a "come here" gesture with it. I was shoved into the corner, sitting and shaking my head. The monster sat down infront of me, and starred into my eyes. Everything felt funky and vertigo-like.. My dream knowledge suggested that it had the ability to make people fall asleep. I didn't feel like I was sleeping, and it said in a quiet tone, "tell me your name." The monster's voice didn't sound harsh or horrid at all, even though his looks suggested otherwise. I went to move my mouth, and I realized I couldn't say anything.. I slumped forward and I felt myself turn upside down, and guessed I was being taken over the thing's shoulder. I heard some faint yelling in the distance from my friend's voice.