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[NF] NF intuition about other people - or Spidey Sense, if you will.

dani_elle

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Aug 18, 2009
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82
MBTI Type
ENFP
Just yesterday I had this nagging feeling that I was going to see a girl I'm not fond of at a gathering. Not that she usually joins but yeah, when I reached, she was there.

Also, the reason why I don't really like her is my intuition tells me she isn't as heartbroken about her breakup as she is going on about. (she can tell everyone while being dry-eyed and completely normal looking, just how DEPRESSED she is over the whole thing... including things like how she didn't eat for a week and kept purging after the breakup... which I don't buy. Ahem. By the way, she tells EVERYONE. Not just close friends. I find this really weird.) Knowing her ex boyfriend as well, I don't feel he's the monster she is making him out to be. (it really is dramatic, she had her friends scolding him over Facebook and as far as I see, he hasn't really responded.)

All this behaviour has left me a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to her and I try to avoid her as much as I can. It sounds weird and judgemental, I know, but I can't shake off a bad feeling about the whole thing. I kind of felt that it was more an attention seeking ploy to make EVERYONE feel sorry for her, which I felt was unnecessary. I mean, I felt sorry for her too, until it got blown up to mega proportions with her very tall tales.

But the funny thing is, before all this had ever happened, somehow my intuition told me that she was the attention seeking type and I didn't really like her. Mind you, it wasn't an active dislike. I just knew that I wouldn't want to get too close.

So long story short, how much do you NFs out there rely on your intuition? Do you feel that you can accurately "read" people and predict future behaviour? There are times when I didn't trust my gut feeling and I regretted it, but I try to keep an open mind.
 

WoodsWoman

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Dec 24, 2007
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778
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INFP
Nothing as obvious as this, but I seem to do well when I go with that gut feeling about people. So far it hasn't let me down. It's being put to the test over the next few months.
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
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Sep 25, 2009
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haha OP I've had the prediction of meeting someone I don't want to meet in public thing plenty of times. I think it's because I think of many options of what could happen if I do 'x'.

"If I go to the grocery store today I could run into 'x'. I haven't seen her in forever...what will I say to her if I see her? etc. etc."

I'll plan out things that have a small % chance of happening. Something no rational person would try and predict. If the upcoming event comes with any anxiety, you can bet I'll be trying to strategically predict any situational possibilities that may arise. I wonder if other people in general do this, not just NFs.

eh, I don't do this all the time, btw.
 

Wonkavision

Retired Member
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Jan 14, 2009
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1,154
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7w8
I definitely trust my intuition.

There are many situations in which important concrete information is not available, and intuition can be used to determine the best course of action.

Intuition perceives patterns which are not immediately apparent to the senses.

Intuition alone would not be reliable, but when combined with some kind of rational cognitive process, it can turn perceived patterns into logical probabilities.

Of course probabilities are not certainties, but they are extremely useful for making decisions.

This is particularly true in certain areas of science, and the psychological and interpersonal realms, where there are a lot of unknowns and intangible factors involved, and, therefore, a strong demand for intuition.


On this basis, I think those with intuition as their dominant function would benefit from developing their secondary function.

And those with intuition as their secondary function would benefit from developing their dominant function.

This would provide the necessary balance to make intuitive perceptions useful, and to make Intuitives effective in acheiving their goals.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
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May 31, 2009
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I do rely a lot on gut feelings. Anytime I've ignored them, I wished I hadn't. I believe that we unconsciously pick up signals of eye contact, posture, facial expressions etc that contribute to the overall picture to give us that feeling. Often we don't trust it because we couldn't explain it to someone else, but I think those signals are always there. Those feelings contribute towards keeping us safe, making good decisions, deciding who to be friends with and so on.

Having said that, I've also found that often when I don't hitch with someone or find them abbrasive at first, it often is their way of expressing insecurities that they have. Usually all that is lacking is enough information to make sense of their behaviour. The good thing about that is that when you understand that bad behaviour is a result of their insecurity 1) It protects you from being duped or inappropriately sucked into drama such as you described 2) It allows you to see them in kindly terms rather than get your back up 3) You can decide how much involvement with them is wise or appropriate. 4) You are free to try to soothe those insecurities rather than add to them. 5) You don't take what they may say against you to heart in the same way that you might have otherwise. It takes away their power to hurt you and allows you to detach a little.
 

Moiety

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I might prepare for negative outcomes based on what my gut feeling tells me, but I would never behave differently regarding someone based on preconceived ideas.
 

Fidelia

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I'd argue though that gut feelings are different than snap judgements. I used to do a lot of busking (playing violin on the street as a summer job) and met all kinds of people every day. I became acquaintance friends with many people whose outward appearance some might make judgements about, it isn't a matter of their appearance. However, every now and then, I ran into someone that just gave me an uneasy feeling for no apparent reason. At first I thought I was being judgemental, but soon realized that those feelings are there for a reason. One person, I later discovered, was a (schitzophrenic) numerologist who was posting information on the internet about young women whose information he had obtained for a "reading" and then including lewd comments and fantasies about them. I really do think that these feelings are based on real information that we take in without consciously realizing it (you know those police shows on microexpressions?) and it is dangerous to ignore it.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
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Intuitive Leaps. The subconscious gathers and collates information, makes a decision, then lets the conscious mind know through particular sensations.
 

Moiety

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Intuitive Leaps. The subconscious gathers and collates information, makes a decision, then lets the conscious mind know through particular sensations.

Yep, and just like the conscious mind, the subconscious can be pretty bad at decision making. The main issue I have with "trust your gut feelings" kind of advice. At least with conscious reasoning you can sometimes see, and get feedback on, the logic (or lack thereof) of your decisions.
 

Biaxident

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Yep, and just like the conscious mind, the subconscious can be pretty bad at decision making. The main issue I have with "trust your gut feelings" kind of advice.


Only if you don't learn from previous mistakes. :D

I always follow up with conscious information gathering before making a permanent decision.

Though I am seldom wrong anymore.
 

Nonsensical

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I do this with dreams.

Maybe it's along a different concept, but a lot of my dreams metaphorically foreshadow a lot of future events both significant and insignificant.

Wouldn't this be an Ni thing, what the OP is talking about? Initially reading the thread title brought Ni to mind. How are they different?
 

Ringtone

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Sep 25, 2009
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I know what you mean, OP. Sometimes I just get bad gut feelings or vibes from people. It really has nothing to do with the way they dress or what they wear, it just makes me uneasy.

One time I had this really bad gut feeling about my mom (who was out), and when she came back told me she almost got into a head-on collision. D:
but that was an isolated occasion so I'm quite sure it was just coincidence, seeing as how I get a random sense of something-bad-is-going-to-happen-to-someone all the time and rarely does something bad actually occur.
 

dani_elle

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Aug 18, 2009
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ENFP
Honestly I'm not very familiar with Ni/Ne, I'm just outlining a situation in which my intuition was correct.

It's interesting to know that other people have gotten similar results with theirs. :shock: Then again, maybe you are right, its because I was juggling all the possibilities of things happening in my mind. For someone so mathematically retarded, I'm actually pretty good at statistics. Haha.

What I find interesting is how its possible to do so in a somewhat unconcious manner. Also - the more mistakes/experiences I have, the better my intuition gets. (as in, the vibes I get from people and not the weird, random gut feeling that something is going to happen.) I guess its subconciously recognizing the same patterns in different people based on observations. Something like that.
 

neptunesnet

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Sep 5, 2009
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So long story short, how much do you NFs out there rely on your intuition? Do you feel that you can accurately "read" people and predict future behaviour? There are times when I didn't trust my gut feeling and I regretted it, but I try to keep an open mind.

Although I am an INFP and my dominant function is feeling, I rely heavily on my Intuition (I sometimes go and forth between INFP and INFJ if that matters at all). I'm really good at reading people. I can always smell a rat, so to speak.

Scenario:
It's a Friday night, and I'm at a party with close friends. I'm not really into it, but I tag along because I like spending time with my girls because they make me laugh, keep me grounded, stay light-hearted, so on. Even if the party is a dud, I can catch up with them or at the very least people-watch (my fav!). Halfway through the night, my friends have spotted the life of the party: a very attractive guy who appears to know everyone and has the all the girls eating out of the palm of his hand :sick:. The plan? The Extroverted SP friend wants to do something wacky to get the guy's attention, the Extroverted SJ friend thinks the ESP's idea is creepy and thinks the best tactic would be to walk up to him and introduce herself, the Introverted SP friend agrees with the ESJ but would rather introduce herself with a friend there supporting her, and I, the Introverted NF friend, just tuned into the conversation (because I'm always the last one to know about these things, really) and am mortified. Why am I mortified? Because the only guy at the entire party that I've been getting a bad vibe from is the dude my friends are pining after :steam:. There is just something about him that reeks trouble. Dilemma Time! Do I tell them to stay away and risk the "You're too cautious/serious/boring" speech or, one better, the "You want him for yourself, don't you?" accusation from them or do I falsely encourage it and risk the guilt for having already predicted the outcome yet cheering them on anyway?

Typically, I go for the "Uh he's not my type" excuse and sulk in the corner while they all go crowd around the guy. I always come off looking like a pretentious butthole :( in the process. I'm the one, though, they come to when the guy DID turn out to be a skeeze. I just listen and sympathize although my mind is screaming 'I TOLD YOU SO (although not really).'

Anyway, yeah. I have the spidey sense. I just know some things. It's both a blessing and a curse, sometimes. I tend to rely on my Intuition in a difficult situation.
 

prplchknz

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Jun 11, 2007
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yupp
yeah seems like it was right, and i do know what you mean but i don't get a taste in my mouth a get this sensation in my stomach if its telling me not to trust someone, or just a general "bad" feeling from the other person.
 

Tiltyred

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Yeah, here's an example of my intuition: I was working as a dispatcher of security guards. Some were guarding, like, construction sites, very isolated, so they didn't have much to say, it's not like they were riding around and had to report their locations, because they were in one spot all night, so they had to radio in once an hour just to check in, so I heard everyone's voice on every shift I worked. Most of the time, I never saw these people. Occasionally, they would come into the office, but mostly, they were just voices.

So one night I left the radio to run into the lounge real quick to get a Coke from the machine, and the managers were sitting in there looking really glum, and I asked what was wrong, and one of them said "Jim" was fired. I was reaching into the machine to get my Coke and I tossed over my shoulder "Whew! I'm glad to hear it," and the manager really reacted, was like, why?! did something happen between you? and I said no, the sound of his voice just gives me the creeps, as I went briskly out the door and back to my radio.

Turns out he was fired for raping one of the female guards.

ding ding ding ding

Why would I ignore my intuition? If you have it, it's a gift to be used, not something to talk yourself out of...
 

Tigerlily

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i trust it 75% of the time. the other 25% is me trying to work things out. does this combo work? for the most part yes. i'm rarely wrong when it comes to people. dreams can be confusing. i've had more than one dream turn into reality but wasn't prepared to alter the situation. i now realize it wasn't a calling, but a warning. self preparation? how/why does this happen? i really don't know.
 

phthalocyanine

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9w1
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Why would I ignore my intuition? If you have it, it's a gift to be used, not something to talk yourself out of...

very true.

sometimes i do find myself trying to talk myself out of the intuitions i have about people, especially if others around me don't seem to pick up on it or even seem to really like someone that i seem to just get bad vibes off of... but ultimately i avoid those who give me those vibes and i don't regret it.

the last time i had one of those was around this little old lady that everyone said was harmless and didn't understand why i seemed to have such instant distate for her.. i avoided speaking to her at all because she literally seemed to be surrounded by a negative energy to me. about a week later when i ran into her again, she was (very out of character - she usually plays the 'sweet' grandmother type) berating someone, cursing and all, just for being pro gay marriage..she said a lot of awful, profane, condemning things. totally uncalled for.

i always said i saw through her innocent facade and people just kind of rolled their eyes.. until one of said people witnessed this happening with me. i don't like being right when it's a negative intuition but i can't just ignore it.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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Dec 22, 2008
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so/sp
I may have mentioned this story before.

I was working in a kibbutz in Israel and there was this guy (a former volunteer who came to visit ocassionally) that all the other volunteers praised to the skies. I think the others (particularly the younger volunteers - ie. aged around 19 or 20) liked him because he was sociable, confident, an amusing dry, cynical wit and the kind of guy who has travelled and done a lot - he was street smart. There was nothing particularly wrong about him but he always rubbed me the wrong way. I tried to work what it was: he seemed too sure of himself and he would tell you what he thought as if there was no other possible point of view on a subject (and seemed slightly bemused if you questioned it). I mentioned my distrust to him to a few others and now that I think of it, the only ones who agreed with me were probably NFs (likely a ENFP and a INFJ).

Later it turns out that a lot of the impressive/shocking things he told us about himself were a bit suspect (eg. owning a small hotel in Dahab, having a ex-wife who died in a car crash and kids back home to look after). On top of that his behaviour began to seem weird: he got an apartment next to the most popular hostel in Tel Aviv and used to hang around hoping to bump into people he knew or would eavesdrop strangers' conversation so that he could offer advice and start a conversation around the subject. It was a bit odd for a man in his mid 30s to be behaving like this - these were people in their teens or early 20s. A friend of mine trusted him so much that she asked him to look after her wallet. He must have written down her credit card number and used it to buy a short flight among other things. Everyone was so shocked when they found out what a lying, thieving bastard he was. I was not.

I get all these sorts of weird feelings about people, its satisfying to know when they were justified.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
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Aug 13, 2009
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986
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Not sure about the other types, but for INFPs perhaps this is a use of the Ne together with the tertiary Si? Digging up past experiences and comparing it with this new person.
Intuition to me is basically picking up small seemingly unrelated pieces and putting together a big picture. Sorta like bringing 2 and 2 together to make 5.
 
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