• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFJ] INFJ Compatibility - INFJ's Romantic Match?

Are male INFJ's really that uncommon?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 53.6%
  • No

    Votes: 5 17.9%
  • I don't know.

    Votes: 8 28.6%

  • Total voters
    28
  • Poll closed .

Martian Manifesto

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
180
MBTI Type
INFJ
As a female INFJ, I have a distinct inclination toward NT males--particularly INTPs.

I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.

oh no. No no no. I will be needing an N in there somewhere, thank you very much.
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ENxPs would be best
 

Martian Manifesto

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
180
MBTI Type
INFJ
A Theory of Ideal Matching

INFJ Relationships (got this from The Personality Page)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INFJ Strengths

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Warm and affirming by nature
Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
Usually have good communication skills, especially written
Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Good listeners
Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INFJ Weaknesses

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Tendency to hold back part of themselves
Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INFJs as Lovers

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May


INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.

They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.

Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?

Natural Partners

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You may be interested in understanding how we came to the conclusion that certain types are ideal for each other. Our type pairing is a result of combining observation, research, and understanding of Jungian psychological type. Observation and research of married couples shows that there is a definite trend in types that are attracted to each other, and in type combinations that have the longest lasting relationships. Our understanding of psychological type helps to see that these types typically have the same dominant function, but with a different attitude.

In Jungian terms, "functions" refer to the four core traits: Intuition (N), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Thinking (T). The term "attitude" refers to the direction of the function, i.e. Introverted (I) or Extraverted (E).

So, for example, a person with a personality type of ISFP has a dominant function of Introverted Feeling. More specifically, Feeling in the dominant function, and its attitude (or direction) is Introverted. A person with this personality type is likely to be most attracted to, and fit best with, a person that has Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality. Extraverted Feeling dominates the personality types ESFJ and ENFJ. We therefore determine that the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ or the ENFJ.

Our natural attraction to people who share our dominant function, but who use it in a different direction works very well for us. We not only flip-flop the Introverted or Extraverted trait, but we also flip-flop the Judging or Perceiving trait. In this way, the partner that we choose for ourselves will have a very different approach to dealing with the world. If we are laid-back and indecisive, our partner will be structured and decisive. If we are reserved, our partner will be outgoing. For all of our apparent differences, we will share a common vision of what's truly important in life.

For people whose personality types are dominated by Decision Making functions, (i.e. Thinking or Feeling), their ideal partners will include both Sensing and Intuitive types. Many people have problems communicating effectively with people who do not share their same preference for Information Gathering. So, if you have a very strong preference for Sensing or Intuition, you will need to give the personality type with the same preference a higher value as a likely natural partner. For example, an ISFP who strongly prefers Sensing will work best with an ESFJ, rather than an ENFJ.

Although we believe firmly that this model works very well to help in finding and maintaining healthy relationships, it is important to remember that it's just a tool. We offer guidelines to help you understand the kinds of things that you value in a relationship, rather than guidelines that you need to follow strictly. Two well-developed individuals of any type can make a relationship work. And work is a key concept here! There is no such thing as an effortless relationship. Don't use this model as an excuse to dump your relationship.
 

Martian Manifesto

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
180
MBTI Type
INFJ
You took the words right out of my mouth! This describes almost ALL of my ESJ female friends. They believe they are "helping" you by telling you what to do and have no concept of their controlling ways. I find I need to get away from them frequently....because their constant chatter about material possessions, chores, errands and gossip bring me down and shut down my creativity....and I am an extroverted NT female.

One of my best friends (INTJ) is married to an ESFJ. You are so dead on.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think another INFJ or an ENFP would be good for me :)
 

Apollanaut

Senior Mugwump
Joined
Aug 27, 2008
Messages
550
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
ENTP is my preferred choice for a romantic partner. My partner of sixteen years is an ENTP, and in retrospect I have always been drawn to EXXP types.
 

Danielson

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
17
MBTI Type
INFJ
No other type drives me wild as ESTPs do. I´m also interested in ENTPs.
I also have some really good ENFJ friends.
 

Desperado44

New member
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
471
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I'm definitely drawn to INF's....

But I also like INT's...

So who the heck knows??? :shock:
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
what a surprise... you guys are all... wrong :D

ENTP/INFJ is a relation of supervision according to socionics (im fully aware that this is an MBTI forum).


And please PLEASE do not test my patience by saying that socionics INFp is MBTI INFJ. IXXJ = IXXJ for both systems! It doesnt matter that one says NiFe and the other says FiNE (they use different descriptions of the functions)

:yes:

These relations are also asymmetrical as are relations of Benefit. One partner, called the Supervisor, is always in a more favourable position in respect to the other partner who is known as Supervisee.

Relations of Supervision can give the impression that Supervisor is constantly watching every step of the Supervisee. The latter usually feels this control even if the Supervisor does not say or do anything. The explanation for this is that the Supervisee weak point is defenceless against the Supervisor's strong point. This makes the Supervisee nervous and expect the worse.

Although the Supervisor can seem self-satisfied, petty, faultfinding and narrative, the Supervisee pays attention to their actions and considers the Supervisor as consequential. The Supervisee normally wants to gain recognition and commendation from the Supervisor. However, it may seem like the Supervisor always undervalues the abilities of the Supervisee. This stimulates the Supervisee into proving their own worthiness with various actions, yet there is little chance that they will succeed.

The Supervisor sees the Supervisee as quite interesting and capable, but incomplete and therefore in need of some help and advice. The Supervisee does not respond to this aid as expected and this will often increase the Supervisor's attempts to change the Supervisee. Because the Supervisee naturally does not understand what it is that the Supervisor wants from them, this may irritate the Supervisor, who thinks that the Supervisee simply does not want to understand.

In relations of Supervision it may also appear as if the Supervisor patronises the Supervisee, which can be quite obtrusive for the latter. When there are more than two people present, the Supervisee often attempts to release themselves from the control of the Supervisor by starting arguments for the sake of it or by attempting to manoeuvre themselves into the commanding position. Unfortunately, these attempts lead nowhere. The Supervisor may think instead that the Supervisee simply requires more attention.

Supervision partners often look like good friends. The reason for this is that in these relations both partners can sense their social value: the Supervisor as a "guardian angel", without whom the Supervisee will get into trouble, and the Supervisee as the object of attention.

I think of all the relations of supervision, the ENTP and INFJ ones seem to work because the ENTP is the object of interest. This naturally draws out the INFJ. Also, the INFJ is probably one of the more reluctant supervisors. So its probably the most balanced of the asymmetrical relations and avoids the problems of control/overbearing that other relations of supervision have.


So if ENTP and INFJ are supervision, then what is the best match?


The supposed best match is the dual. The INFJ dual is ESTJ. I couldnt imagine pairing them with an "S" though.


So you might ask...what then, IS the best type for INFJ?




....drum roll..... (you are all going to cower in fear as you face the harsh truth!!!)


ENTJ
!!!! :devil:

All the 'N' the ESTJ lacks, yet all the grounding the INFJ needs...
...Also, the ENTJ gets all the 'warmth' of the ISFJ, yet doesn't have to stand for a sensor. The Fe effect, can definitely have a nice influence on the ENTJ too...they need the moderating influence.
 

musicheck

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
61
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5
I'm definitely a huge advocate of INTP/INFJ, even though I'm not exactly unbiased when advocating this. INFJ helps INTP become a bit more warm and fuzzy and may help develop an intuitive moral sense which an overly "logical" INTP could lack. INTP helps INFJ be less judgemental about the behavior of others and makes sure their "high horse" does not get steered in a "the road to hell is laden with good intentions" sort of direction. The fundamental downside of it I would say is that the INTP might not be in touch with the emotional needs of an INFJ, and an INFJ would be likely to blame him/herself and simply suffer through the situation rather than speak up in the direct sort of language that an INTP naturally likes to think. Also, given that both are quiet individualists with lots of hidden thoughts about the world, the interactions could become a bit too psychologically intense. Overall, ENTP/INFJ might work better when both parties are mature (since an extrovert won't fall into quite the same sort of psychological singularity), but the machiavellian nature of an undeveloped ENTP might be less palatable than the aloof awkwardness of an undeveloped INTP. Likewise, an ENTP might view an undeveloped INFJ as an arrogant stick in the mud who doesn't have enough fun in a way that an INTP might not.

Then again, the above argument could be viewed as entirely self-interested, given that I think INFJs are so so so awesome.
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx

are we really that scary? everyone knows that Hollywood is a myth machine and that real life ENTJs are sentimental teddy bears on the inside haha.

I think INFJs are awesome:

1. they have so much swirling around in their heads, that the idea of ever "figuring them out" and then being bored, is highly unlikely.
2. its like an advent calender: you get to pry out awesomeness every so often. The average girl just isn't that interesting... I dont mean that I bore in an ESFP permiscous (spelling?) sense. I mean like 90% of the crowd is just boring and easy to figure out (aside from the INFJ of course).
3. WARMTH. The INFJ is a comforting presence :yes:

ENTJ:
1. ENTJs are excellent communicators. The ENTP/INFJ is often sold on the ability of the ENTP to wrap his head around the INFJ Ni. Similarly, the Te/Ni of the ENTJ has to be pretty adept at understanding the INFJ Ni.
2. The ENTJ is not heartless. We usually just need something to awaken otherwise suppressed feelings. We can definitely be magnanimous protectors when we know of something deserving our attention.
3. The ENTJ can benefit immensely from having what they perceive as a feelings "safe haven" to express what they otherwise suppress. The ENTJ sentimental streak and melodramatic moment is not uncommon :doh:.
 

sciski

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
467
MBTI Type
NSFW
Enneagram
6w7
^ I love my ENTJ friend, but need to spend so much time lecturing him and advising him on human relationships... and cleaning up after his latest social faux pas that I wouldn't know how to stop from killing him in the end.

But I agree that he is so soft and squishy on the inside... awww... :) But yeah, I still want to kill him! :azdaja:
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
^ I love my ENTJ friend, but need to spend so much time lecturing him and advising him on human relationships... and cleaning up after his latest social faux pas that I wouldn't know how to stop from killing him in the end.

But I agree that he is so soft and squishy on the inside... awww... :) But yeah, I still want to kill him! :azdaja:

but thats exactly it: you get to cover our ass during social faux pas and we get to cover your ass when you get irrational fears and wallow in a lack of productivity :D

its the perfect match. :devil:
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,708
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
738
I'm definitely a huge advocate of INTP/INFJ, even though I'm not exactly unbiased when advocating this. INFJ helps INTP become a bit more warm and fuzzy and may help develop an intuitive moral sense which an overly "logical" INTP could lack.
Dude, ur talking about real people supposed to like each other, not an awkward fanboy and the INTJ as some kind of teacher in the ways of socialization and life. That's a job for a social workers damn it : P
Likewise, an ENTP might view an undeveloped INFJ as an arrogant stick in the mud who doesn't have enough fun in a way that an INTP might not.
Meh, anybody would see an undeveloped WHATEVER, as undeveloped. Really, this way of going for the 'discount chick' looks like ur trying to sell cars.

People don't like each other because you argued them into it damn it. No matter how pretty they look on a calendar, some pairs are just not meant to be, except for particular cases OFC.(and i'm glad for them)

Then again, the above argument could be viewed as entirely self-interested, given that I think INFJs are so so so awesome.
Oh, what's that smell. Is somebody cooking fanboys? :doh:
 

penelope

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2008
Messages
249
MBTI Type
INxJ
Interestingly, I've known (and pretty much dated) two other INFJ guys. But wow, that was frustrating. Far too similar. It wasn't exciting, because it was immediate comfort. No guesswork involved. Also, we INFJs love to be cared for, and with an INFJ-INFJ relationship, there's a constant struggle for attention.

I've liked plenty of INFPs, also because of an instant comfort and likeness in calm and security. But I think that match is also too similar, and the J causes arguments

I got on really well with an ENFP (actually, might be an ENTP... not sure). I've still got butterflies for him, but I'm not sure what happened. Big conflict of interests I think.

I was really into an ISTP awhile back, and it was mutual, but circumstances got in the way and it never worked out. We're friends now, and since knowing him better, I'd go crazy.

One of my closest female friends is an INFJ that is married to an ENFJ.
 
Top