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[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

tenINsFJ

Permabanned
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
479
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w9
My last day at my old company I went around saying bye to everyone, hugging etc., which is pretty darn normal for me. There was this one lady that was just, the most miserable person I've ever known.

I am STUPIDLY SOOOOO forgiving, and it was my last day, and I had tried SO hard to be friendly to her that - I went in for the "hug goodbye".

BIG MISTAKE. Huge. She cringed away with this look of disgust on her face. It hurt my feelings pretty badly, and it still does even now a little. It's one thing to not like hugging (personal space issues) - its another to react the way she did.

I still don't know what type she was, and couldn't BEGIN to type her due to just how mean she was (hard to see past that). I look back now and feel sorry for her, as I really think she must have a sad and filled with hatred type of existence.

Also, I only know one other ENFP IRL, but I personally do not "stir the pot", and since I hurt someones feelings when I was young, I do not say anything about anyone I wouldn't say to their face.

OMG I'm super at run-on sentences when I just start typing to get something on "paper" quickly. I'm not a ditz, I swear.

Wow. That is really messed up. Shame on her. Jealously.
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
really? irl or on here?

Both. Although having said that, I do admire and appreciate the fact you guys are interested in so much. You ENFPs seem to love it when I ramble on about various topics.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
what is it...too much bouncing around from one idea to the next?
hmm...interesting. i'm just asking because i sometimes feel like i'm taking the conversation too deep with people so i let up and change the subject...but i like to explore topics until i understand them fully and then move onto the next one...maybe we just jump around too quick? skimming over certain details probably...i can see that.
 

Xellotath

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
176
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
what is it...too much bouncing around from one idea to the next?
hmm...interesting. i'm just asking because i sometimes feel like i'm taking the conversation too deep with people so i let up and change the subject...but i like to explore topics until i understand them fully and then move onto the next one...maybe we just jump around too quick? skimming over certain details probably...i can see that.

I concur. It's the other way, I'm terrified of taking it too deep. If I get too many "Ooohs, and aaahs" and not a lot of involvement from the other person..I switch immediately.

Hate making people feel left behind.
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
I concur. It's the other way, I'm terrified of taking it too deep. If I get too many "Ooohs, and aaahs" and not a lot of involvement from the other person..I switch immediately.

Hate making people feel left behind.


Interesting. I have had more then one conversation with an ENFP where I think I took it to deep for them. However, there are others that seem to catch the drift and keep thoughts going.

I'm probably just crazy if I can lose an ENFP...:party:
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
i just know that no one has ever been to deep for me...i'll discuss whatever anybody wants to usually...i like to explore a topic with somebody if they seem interested.
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
The only problem I have with ENFPs (they are generally one of my favorite types) is that you guys really need to piss off when we NTs are busy arguing. If you want to actually join in on the argument, feel free, but don't whine if your feelings get hurt--you knew what you were getting into. You're so obsessed with advocating for the little guy that you don't realize that we genuinely enjoy aggressively arguing with each other and we are not usually actually upset. No, we don't want to hear your dumb "OMG CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG????" shit for the 645th time. If we wanted to "just get along" all the time, we wouldn't argue with each other for pages and pages on end.

Often, objective truth is more important to us than social harmony. Respect this boundary and don't expect us to all melt into fluffy kittens the next time you feel tempted to make an indignant "omg u guys r being dicks lol!!" comment.

If you don't want to be involved in an NT argument, don't, but stop rushing in to defend every time you think someone's feeling are being hurt. Remember that an argument requires at least two people to continue--anyone who keeps arguing, wants to be part of the argument. If they didn't, they'd just stop.
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
i just know that no one has ever been to deep for me...i'll discuss whatever anybody wants to usually...i like to explore a topic with somebody if they seem interested.

What about controversial or dark topics? Does it depend on who you're talking to?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
Enneagram
784
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sx/sp
The only problem I have with ENFPs (they are generally one of my favorite types) is that you guys really need to piss off when we NTs are busy arguing. If you want to actually join in on the argument, feel free, but don't whine if your feelings get hurt--you knew what you were getting into. You're so obsessed with advocating for the little guy that you don't realize that we genuinely enjoy aggressively arguing with each other and we are not usually actually upset. No, we don't want to hear your dumb "OMG CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG????" shit for the 645th time. If we wanted to "just get along" all the time, we wouldn't argue with each other for pages and pages on end.

Often, objective truth is more important to us than social harmony. Respect this boundary and don't expect us to all melt into fluffy kittens the next time you feel tempted to make an indignant "omg u guys r being dicks lol!!" comment.

If you don't want to be involved in an NT argument, don't, but stop rushing in to defend every time you think someone's feeling are being hurt. Remember that an argument requires at least two people to continue--anyone who keeps arguing, wants to be part of the argument. If they didn't, they'd just stop.

you're right. i will usually realize that on my own after a minute but yeah...i get that it's annoying.

What about controversial or dark topics? Does it depend on who you're talking to?
hmmm...interesting point. i can't say that i've been in that position but you're right if something was too dark and offended me terribly made me feel ill and i couldn't detach from it then yeah i guess i wouldn't be able to go there.
 

Xellotath

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
176
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
What about controversial or dark topics? Does it depend on who you're talking to?

Might depend on the ENFP. When I was younger ..some subjects were taboo... now that I'm older I'm pretty much de-sensitized to a lot of material and I'm quite capable of defending any point of view.

If anything, in intellectual debate I'll make it a point to come up with a bizarre controversial points of view, and even invent sentimental attachment only to make myself more interesting and mislead others.

Whether it's elaborating on our futility with the use of nihilism or justifying child abuse with utilitarianism to advocating "pregnancy licenses".

They're all silly puzzle games to impress NT's.

I -act- on a totally different set of values from the ones I discuss. But its only because I've come to the point where I can't intellectually defend them either...

..thus leaving myself open for an overall lack of integrity and raw irrationality. I find comfort in the idea that to me everyone is crazy and there is no truth. The world is a giant mental asylum where we all believe and invent what we please.
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
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ENTP
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7w6
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sx/so
What about controversial or dark topics? Does it depend on who you're talking to?

They're really good at looking at a lot of different viewpoints and empathizing with all of them--except the ones which violate their feeling-based value systems, which are adamantly and vehemently dismissed, at times without a fair trial.
 

Lady_X

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Oct 27, 2008
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that's probably true.
 

Xellotath

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
176
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
The only problem I have with ENFPs (they are generally one of my favorite types) is that you guys really need to piss off when we NTs are busy arguing. If you want to actually join in on the argument, feel free, but don't whine if your feelings get hurt--you knew what you were getting into. You're so obsessed with advocating for the little guy that you don't realize that we genuinely enjoy aggressively arguing with each other and we are not usually actually upset. No, we don't want to hear your dumb "OMG CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG????" shit for the 645th time. If we wanted to "just get along" all the time, we wouldn't argue with each other for pages and pages on end.

Often, objective truth is more important to us than social harmony. Respect this boundary and don't expect us to all melt into fluffy kittens the next time you feel tempted to make an indignant "omg u guys r being dicks lol!!" comment.

If you don't want to be involved in an NT argument, don't, but stop rushing in to defend every time you think someone's feeling are being hurt. Remember that an argument requires at least two people to continue--anyone who keeps arguing, wants to be part of the argument. If they didn't, they'd just stop.

... It would be a mistake to think we're all about fluffy kittens all the time.

See, it's not so much the content of your ideas which are intimidating, it's the -tone- of the debate.

ENFPs are attracted to ideas, it's in our nature. So yes we'll pay attention to the conversation but at the same time be totally grossed out if there is too much testosterone in the air.

Sure, be controversial, be passionate about finding the magical Truth. Just keep it clean and quiet? Thanks.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
the trouble comes from expecting us to be like someone else...your setting yourself up for the disappointment i think.

Not sure about that. ENFPs I've known have this really uncomfortable ability to bushwack me. I get a strong sense of something extra going on in the thought process, something extra sitting back waiting to show itself, but not really waiting, more like on hold, unwilling to stand out. It really looks like ruses and smoke screens for avoiding committing to conclusions: just that little bit of extra information needed, just a little more certainty, one more ounce of protection.

And then you whip out the Te and show off an unexpected strength.

Freaks!
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
why's that weird? we're just gathering information and composing our thoughts that's the way it's done right?

it's just a bunch of thoughts swirling around and then aha...the connection. is that what you mean?
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
It feels like being bushwacked because I end up being sat back on my heels. Like you knew this thing all along but had been avoiding saying it, and there was me banging away at that idea looking for a statement.

It's been a learning process. I've only recently come to get the idea that there are different ways of reaching conclusions, and the ENFP way, while swirly and flighty, does have something in it that I want to listen to.

The irritation is mostly in discovering that I should be respecting the process.


But I do unfortunately know one guy who is using this swirly, flighty approach to steer himself really far away from something. And he uses Te to make it so, I think. It's uncomfortable to be around. That's just one guy, though.

That particular idiot is forever making stupid strategies for dealing with people, and some of them are appalling.
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
ENFP's are tricky. Again, it depends on the topic I guess. I think some topics I discuss fascinate them to a point. Now if the topic is too "real", I think it may bore some of them at times (macro economics, math theory, news stories). It may not be due to deepness but it just doesn't seem interesting at times, I will admit. I do find many ENFP's like to talk about genetics, quantum physics, chemistry, and logic if I can tie it back in a personal way on how it effects things that most people don't see.

Anything that is outside of the box seems to intrigue them though. Talking photography and surrealism seems to be delightful to ENFP's. However if I start to tie in genetic memories with the 5th and 6th dimension, and how it effects someones mind and even events around them (theory based) I have more then once got a "ok he's crazy" look:devil:
 

Xellotath

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
176
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Anything that is outside of the box seems to intrigue them though. Talking photography and surrealism seems to be delightful to ENFP's. However if I start to tie in genetic memories with the 5th and 6th dimension, and how it effects someones mind and even events around them (theory based) I have more then once got a "ok he's crazy" look:devil:

Hahaha, you do sound a little crazy. But if I had to pick between a conversation on the 6th dimension or hearing an ST rant about how we need exactly 74.5% to pass the course... Give me the crazy talk. Give me 6, 7, 8, 254 dimensions, on the rocks and with a hint of strawberry and lemon, please. :D
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
^^I get paid to be crazy so I don't mind:crazy::woot::coffee:

Now if I could convince an ENFP to play Risk or Stratego online with me...heck even chess or checkers!

Of course nothing beats the time I played Parcheesi with 6 feminist lesbians and I will always remember this quote towards me: "You aren't too bad for an aggressor."
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
^^

I love crazy people. I have a huge patience level and wide boundaries talking with random kooky people and having random kooky conversations and random kooky chance first meetings. Only people who may have more are ENFJ and ENTP.

I wouldn't look at you crazy Maabus for that, and if I did I would either be kidding or else I would be more intrigued.

So irks --

Maturity plays a big role in any type, but this is especially true of ENFPs. ENFPs I am gleaning mostly from this forum but also RL, run a wide gamut.

I think ENFPs who are still really "green" and haven't developed their Te/Ti or developed their self-confidence could get on my nerves. I think a big achille's heel of ENFPs is to learn good judgement and discernment.

Oh, and flakiness. Not cute.
 
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