[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

[Haphazard]

I never really got why other people got drama, either. For some reason I never really got drama...

Although, that may be because I don't notice drama.

 

[DigitalMethod]

I think everyone defines drama differently. Which is important to realize.

 

[proteanmix]

OMG, this thread has turned into an ENFP circle jerk!

CzeCze, you KNOW I you but I'm just going to have to disagree!

We can have that long awaited ENFJ vs. ENFP catfight very very soon.

 

[CzeCze]

*pout*

LOLZ. Tell me what you disagree about.

Oh you mean because sometimes drama is no fault of the person in question, it's because other people are nutty, dysfunctional, or they get caught up in 3rd party stuff?

I wasn't thinking about that kind of drama. I was thinking about the self-created kinda. 'Cause that's the common definition of 'drama' I thnk of, not really that serious and more easily taken care of. Or at least that you actually have control over.

 

[proteanmix]

*pout*

LOLZ. Tell me what you disagree about.

Oh you mean because sometimes drama is no fault of the person in question, it's because other people are nutty, dysfunctional, or they get caught up in 3rd party stuff?

I wasn't thinking about that kind of drama. I was thinking about the self-created kinda. 'Cause that's the common definition of 'drama' I thnk of, not really that serious and more easily taken care of. Or at least that you actually have control over.

Eh, I disagreed with the ENFP Omniscient People Swami parts. We're not disagreeing about the other stuff.

I guess when I think of drama it tends to get into deep psychology: how much of it is created consciously or unconsciously, maliciously, defensively/out of fear, to control, to fill a void, how much of it can be avoided/unavoidable and to be expected from simply being human. I'm split with how much of it created intentionally.

Sometimes the biggest drama generators are not operating from ignorance, they know exactly what buttons to push. Some drama generators know not to show their grimy ways but to a few people and everyone else thinks they're saints but they're little tyrants to those that come into contact with them the most.

Dramas require other agents and actors like you've already pointed out and I agree with your assessment mostly. Some people just come fully loaded with drama of their own creation OR from it being dumped into their laps and creating their own dramarific coping mechanisms to deal. My Drama Transference Theory in layman's terms: your therapist is seeing a therapist. I'm all about culpability and responsibility for one's actions and breaking the cycle of madness but this stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's not exactly enabling but some people aid and abet. A twisted symbiotic relationship? Some people just feed on drama, or rather the "I'm a complex and complicated person routine whom drama follows like a noxious cloud." What freaks me out is wondering if I'm one of the people who willingly puts their mouths on the tailpipe. God, I heard that I'm complicated gambit again this weekend and my eyes bulged a few millimeters of my sockets and I broke my handy pencil I carry for such occasions in half.

We've already discussed my dysfunctional people theory and how at least one third of people are nucking futs anyways. But this also begs the question of who is the arbiter of sanity and clean, drama-free living. It's like pick your poison, which type of crazy and drama would you rather deal with? Because believe you me, you're throwing out some of your own drama rays. (not you, Cze just people in general) and it's going to take some strong SPF to repel them.

Basically, I think drama free living is impossible unless you live in isolation but does it really go away? Do you really escape anything? Those that flee probably couldn't deal and cope in the first place. You can lessen it or learn to maneuver around it, but a splash guard really doesn't work unless you're oblivious.

Anyway I'm not quite sure what I'm saying anymore so I'll stop now.

 

[grendiecat]

I don't "hate" an ENFP. I just learned that my ex is an ENFP. The "E" part shocks the living daylights out of me because he has terrible social anxiety so I just don't see the "E" but whatever-it is on a continuum, so I guess I'm just a 90% E and he's probably a 55%. Don't know if this is an ENFP trait, but, what I found, subjective or not, is that problems are/were always because of someone else, no ownership of one's own fault in a problematic situation. It was all the crazy ex wife's fault, now the crazy second ex-wife's fault, etc. One time when he was sick, I was sent out in a blizzard to buy pop, candy, etc. and I returned to the house with chewy Spree instead of crunchy Spree, and didn't want to go back into the blizzard to get the crunchy Spree, I was now a selfish cold bitch. I lived for almost three years in a place I couldn't stand because of his career and he knew I was miserable, but no job in civilization was what he wanted. From my perspective, these things destroyed our marriage. I don't know if this is typical ENFP behaviour--someone tell me, please! On the other side, I know he's a very compassionate, creative person who genuinely wants to help others, exceptionally smart, plenty of wonderful traits. I never speak poorly of him to our four year old son, but still don't know how to reconcile the above.

 

[SillyGoose]

"I don't know if this is typical ENFP behaviour--someone tell me, please!"

I don't think so, at all! If anything, I think I tend to take on my partners obvious issues and if it can't be resolved, I feel like it is my fault.

But again, there are unhealthy ones of all kinds. So maybe he is an unhealthy ENFP. I wouldn't even say immature, because as an immature ENFP at one time I never behaved like that.

 

[CzeCze]

Oh, yes the 'Omniscient Swami Parts' etc. part. Actually, when I read the part highlighted by Desert Flower I thought, 'Wow, that person is full of themselves' and then I was like, wha I wrote that?

Hahahhahaha.

To give some context for it, I must have been annoyed and I was thinking of some specific accusations levelled at me in the past (for being dramatic, overly sensitive etc.) and the patterns of people around me and well, that my life is actually pretty even keeled and others' around me has so much unecessary drama.

So in summation, the message to all the haters out there (who are actually in my head) was: I don't have the drama because I have my act together unlike you!! You hear me?? You have the problem not me!! How dare you judge me!!! I'm awesome the way I am!!" I think I needed to pat myself on the back and have a moment, and aren't we all allowed those moments? Aren't we???? LOLZ.

But Protean, I get what you are saying about 'drama'. To me, life is drama. It's conflict, romance, desire, challenge, misfortune, victory, loss, and a roller coaster of emotions. It's awesome. It takes a lot of energy to live and carve out your space and it involves clashing and dealing with things and people who push your buttons, get in your way, step on your toes, etc. And you will invariably will be competing with others, getting in their space, etc.

Life and drama is really about the world and other people. True, there's no way to completely avoid drama but then, would you want to?

I don't mind that kind of existential drama. It's just the 'nucking futs' drama and negative energy drama and instigating of spats and liars kind of drama that I want to avoid.

And breaking it down to the chemistry and conflict of typology, some types and some people will just rub you the wrong way or is more rife for conflict and misunderstanding. It's not really any one person's "fault" or even that someone is "wrong" it's just the push and pull of egos and lives and history.

So much of life and 'drama' is in perception. You change that, you change your focus, and you've got it 80% figured out.

And omg, I sound like Miss Swami Pants don't I again.

At least I don't have pom-poms and doing the

 

[bandit]

I love ENFPs. The two I know, one is my boyfriend, the other is a close friend, are extremely insightful individuals. I get teased a lot by both of them too! I love how they both see everything around them as a big gigantic picture. Metaphorically, they can see the world on a scale as wide and as vast as the universe. I always find myself looking deeper and deeper into minute details (almost to microscopic level) and they always remind me that the world is a whole lot bigger than I can ever imagine... That life is a whole lot simpler than it looks (whole lot more fun as well!)... And that dreams are a whole lot easier to reach than the stars.

Also, they remind me that the world isn't as perfect as I would like it to be... And that not everyone is as 'nice' as I'd expect them to be. When I lose my way in the world in my mind, they bring me back on track.

I like it when they think out loud. It's always way too funny to watch! To others, they may appear a little 'cuckoo' (a couple of loose screws) but they're so awesome to me. Genuine, sincere and very supportive. They're so full of life, so bubbly, so very outgoing... and yet so warm, caring and gentle, all at once.

I love them to bits!

 

[Algora J]

Actually, I've changed my mind about ENFPs. I just found out one of my co-workers is one, and he is one of the coolest people to work with.

I originally thought he was a T-type, but apparently, he's a lot more of a feeler!

 

[Dwigie]

I know one enfp...she's nice...I feel bad for her because I really can't handle all her talking it makes me mad, plus she keeps saying I'm mean but she's the one who crawls back to me and not her...Why?Why?Can someone tell me why?

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

I know one enfp...she's nice...I feel bad for her because I really can't handle all her talking it makes me mad, plus she keeps saying I'm mean but she's the one who crawls back to me and not her...Why?Why?Can someone tell me why?

I personally can't stand conflicts. I do as your friend does. It's just an awful, "feeling" of uneasiness between friends, family, mates, acquaintances even It must be resolved!

 

[Sunshine]

This thread is silly. I'd rather tell you why I love an ENFP.

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

This thread is silly. I'd rather tell you why I love an ENFP.

Done, and done

 

[Pavilion]

I've never really known an ENFP all that well but the one I'm closest too - who, in all honesty, I don't know very well at all - seems like a tool to me. When he's involved enough in what's happening he's content, and as a result, enjoyable to be around, but if he feels like too little attention is being paid to him, he forces his way into a conversation by interrupting someone to tell a story that's either greatly overexaggerated or a flat out lie. He'll go to great lengths to get more attention than anyone. He'll accept any demeaning dare, or just demean himself without being dared - sometimes when he's already the center of attention.

 

[CzeCze]

^^ Dude, sounds like an enTp to me.



Or just blame it on the 'S's. eSTp for sure, mang.

x 2

 

[wreckoning]

I find ENFPs are just completely exasperating to argue with. They have the creativity of ENTPs to conjure up solutions to problems but ... none of the logic. What's worse, the ENFPs I know tend to believe that they have a logical train of thought and make rational decisions.

Anytime I make a breakthrough in establishing a point with an ENFP, it'll be something crucial to developing other points, and by the time we get to the next point, they'll have forgotten the first point and I'll have to explain it to them all over again.

They also repeat themselves a lot, which is hard for my temperament to listen to.

That being said, I have three close friends who are ENFPs and they certainly have very overwhelming positive characteristics not found in other temperaments.

 

[CzeCze]

That being said, I have three close friends who are ENFPs and they certainly have very overwhelming positive characteristics not found in other temperaments.

Oooh, do elaborate!

 

[phoenix13]

Oooh, do elaborate!

alttongue

 

[Clownmaster]

i went through each page in this thread. i just love hearing good shit about my type