to damn cutesy
wow.. I didnt realize I would have had this much to say.. this is a rant thread right?
I love everything good about an old friend that was as close to enfp style person I can think of
.. however I also found her surprisingly distasteful in other ways. this was about 4 years ago. and to this day im surprised I turned down a girl who was fun attractive and bright.. when I was 18.. "so yeah we were particularly young, however this was exceptional behavior to me even then..
it kinda went like this, She was very careful to acknowledged my feelings about pretty much everything..very disarming, we danced, we enjoyed spending time together.. she was very energetic, creative.. and then I started to notice somethings that caused me to feel rather uncomfortable.
firstly she seemed very comfortable as if it were suddenly her second nature. trying to be emotionally manipulative. this strategy was apparently effective on many of the people she lived with and knew.. however it seemed rather crude to me. "Im not really describing this very well.. she was very smooth, and were it not for the fact that she had pegged my motivations wrong Im sure I may have succumbed as well.. and for a While I thought she was not doing this intentionally. however later felt that I had been mistaken.. I had gone over to her place for the evening, like I had done frequently, however this time the feel was different, this time it became apparent to me she intended to have sex with me "and yes as out of place as that sentence reflects how out of place this was in my mind.. .. its True that she was physically appealing for certain.. and on some level I was desperate for an deeper emotional connection..
Here was the rub, this was her boyfriends apartment.. the one she always talked about being afraid was going to leave her.. who she said was taking advantage of her.. who she suspected was cheating on her.. and it finally dawned on me. this girl was certainly not the victim she had portrayed herself to be. And I was there to fill the lack of emotional connection.. I felt then like I was being used..
however on some level I was desperate for an deeper emotional connection.. and to rectify this she was willing to to do everything she has suspected her boyfriend had done to her to him.. this realization and willingness to be openly hypocritical may very well have been the only thing that stopped the situation from becoming even more painful for everyone involved..
beginning to realize that she had been dishonest in her intentions for quite some time. and was willing to use some things I had told her about my previous girl friends IE trying to emulate what she thought I would like "not that I think being thoughtful about others preferences is on its face bad, however trying to portray yourself as an entirely different person was just to much for me to watch.."
before I had realized this I had physically stood up and walked to the door "really without thinking." why did I feel so uncomfortable all of the sudden?. and the fact that she somehow had it in her mind that I could be converted instantly from a friend to some kind of boyfriend just by setting an opportunity for some sexual activity completely out of context.. I felt pretty enraged that .. how shallow did she think I was? “-in retrospect I should have expected her to treat me no differently than those around her.. I had yet to learn that lesson though-†The girl who always talked about how important being loyal was....was it any wonder her boyfriend was so questionable..
while obviously I had done a great deal of projection and self deceit to put myself in that whole situation.. I tried to write as if I were there again 4 years ago, not How I would see it today. I no longer feel any ill towards a young girl who was just trying to meet her own emotional and physical needs during a difficult time in her life. It was probably natural if not inevitable that I would have ended up around a person as inwardly insecure about others as I was.. so I am actually grateful that I learned this lesson from a girl who I did see as a close friend. If it had been
someone else I doubt it would have had enough emotional impact for me to see what I was doing.. and that I actually was so afraid of intimacy that I would have preferred a fake and manipulative substitute..and while many of my complaints against her at the time were probably justified.. ultimately she was not the reason I was suspicious of her motivations in the first place.. and I was also guilty of being manipulative albeit in a different way.. we knew each other for more than a year and I did not cover many of the great experiences we shared..
thus ends my most negative positive in the long term.. experience with a person who seemed to express prefernces for enfp.:hi:
- but at the same time, i totally understand what you mean about the questions. it's tricky to be on our side too, to have the Ti wording feel like an attack and then have the NTP get pissed off / disappointed that we took it that way. i think leaning heavy on the Ne side of things really helps NFP-NTP relations... 
! 
