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[INFJ] Are INFJ's a mixed bag?

vince

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Oct 8, 2007
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320
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I've heard that INFJ's are the most T of the F's, the most E of the introverts, and the most P of the Judgers.

Do you think that's true or is it that no one really understands the type?

INFJ's do you think this of yourselves? If so, is it something that comes naturally to you or have you worked on becoming more T, E, or P?

I welcome thoughts from everyone.

All of the above rings true for me.

I have extremely good logical skills. Better than a lot of T's I know. I have a very varied and multilayered personality. I'm very skilled at a lot of things. I don't care if that sounds pretentious.
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
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YMCA
To be fair I'll explain.

I've never seen extroverted perceiving as a strength in any INFJs I've met. More the opposite. It is one of the domains they seem reasonably oblivious to. They can be quite relaxed and accepting of difference, but that is not what P represents. If you look at their functions there is little Se or Ne about. So claiming to be the most P seems completely unsubstantiated. And if we are looking at being less judgemental, ENFJs are far more open and non-confrontational in my experience, and ISFJs far more globally accepting.

On the T part, there are some things that make INFJs a little T. They are good studiers for example. But most INFJs I know have never used a T argument in their lives. They argue very emotionally and they show up clearly F. We had one in another thread claiming all Ts were useless dates the other day. This isn't uncommon. Apart from showing no logic or perspective it also shows little affiliation.

Suppose my sample size isn't big enough to say this conclusively. Because there are INFJs in physics that work well and very balanced (though I wouldn't say T) ones on here. But there are still patterns there that seem to completely contradict the two ideas.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
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:laugh:

Sorry... :laugh::laugh:

Maybe the E part is right.

Wouldn't an ISF be more "extroverted" than an INF? (I'm not arguing against you noigmn, I don't oppose your points at all, I agree with you, I'm arguing at the concept and your quote was a good starting point) I see absolutely no reason why an N would be more outward than sensing, which is based in reality and what is tangible. And no don't nit pick about how Ne is external, I'm sure you get what I'm talking about.
 

BlueScreen

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Wouldn't an ISF be more "extroverted" than an INF? (I'm not arguing against you noigmn, I don't oppose your points at all, I agree with you, I'm arguing at the concept and your quote was a good starting point) I see absolutely no reason why an N would be more outward than sensing, which is based in reality and what is tangible. And no don't nit pick about how Ne is external, I'm sure you get what I'm talking about.

Yep, Se would be the strongest most active link to the external world. I'm an introvert next to an ESFP. Strangely my ISFP sister is quite introverted though. As is my INTP father. My mother is INFJ and seems more extroverted than them. And my other sister is ISTP and my mother thinks she is an extrovert. It might all come down to how strong 'I' they are. It's sort of hard to judge, and I think everyone ends up with different opinions, depending on the samples of people they have met.

Actually, to add to that, I've thought that ISFJs I knew were extroverts.
 

BlackCat

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Yep, Se would be the strongest most active link to the external world. I'm an introvert next to an ESFP. Strangely my ISFP sister is quite introverted though. As is my INTP father. My mother is INFJ and seems more extroverted than them. And my other sister is ISTP and my mother thinks she is an extrovert. It might all come down to how strong 'I' they are. It's sort of hard to judge, and I think everyone ends up with different opinions, depending on the samples of people they have met.

Actually, to add to that, I've thought that ISFJs I knew were extroverts.

I've seen that about ISFJs too, they are very outward and people oriented. Making the illusion that they are extroverts. This is probably why ENTPs and ISFJs hook up a lot it seems (maybe).

I think it's how strong your I is as well. And also enneagram instincts. My E/I is pretty much on the border, people would probably think I'm an extrovert in real life.
 

cascadeco

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To be fair I'll explain.

I've never seen extroverted perceiving as a strength in any INFJs I've met. More the opposite. It is one of the domains they seem reasonably oblivious to. They can be quite relaxed and accepting of difference, but that is not what P represents. If you look at their functions there is little Se or Ne about. So claiming to be the most P seems completely unsubstantiated. And if we are looking at being less judgemental, ENFJs are far more open and non-confrontational in my experience, and ISFJs far more globally accepting.

I tend to think the 'most P' argument is more in reference to the dichotomy stereotypes...so INFJ's will often be wavering/indecisive, aren't prone to organizing their lives externally a lot (in terms of list-making, super organized, being excessively rigid and inflexible in terms of plans, making lists, setting goals, etc etc).

On the T part, there are some things that make INFJs a little T. They are good studiers for example. But most INFJs I know have never used a T argument in their lives. They argue very emotionally and they show up clearly F. We had one in another thread claiming all Ts were useless dates the other day. This isn't uncommon. Apart from showing no logic or perspective it also shows little affiliation.

I think this is where INFJ's ARE a mixed bag. Some I know are pretty objective, calm, and more detached; others, you are correct, are very emotional in their arguments.

As to the bolded piece..I don't view those sorts of statements to be 'common' with INFJ's either, to be honest. If that's what an INFJ said, that's a ludicrous/pointless comment because it obviously only pertains to his/her opinion....if it was meant to be taken seriously.

(Also, somewhat of a tangent, but it goes without saying that there will be a minority on here who self-type as INFJ and aren't; goes with any of the types, really. )
 

Arg

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Perhaps I've just had bad luck with the INFJs I know. But they come across with a heaping helping of self-righteous indignation topped with being overly sensitive about the most inane things. Again I'm just limiting my observations to the ones I know, I'm sure there's some more reasonable ones at there...somewhere.
 

weakshadeofblue

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Okay, let's see... I always read pages & pages of a thread then forget who I was going to respond to.

(I can't remember who said this) said:
INFJs seem pretty settled into their types, I haven't seen them waver here nearly as much as other types on the forum.

This is true for me. I've taken various versions of the MBTI (including the real one you have to pay for) and get INFJ every time.

- I think I have a decently flexed "T muscle," probably thanks to my dad, who is very logical.

- I might be more J than other INFJs (not sure? I only have one INFJ friend and we're not that close)

- On the Facebook MBTI application (MyType), you can "rate" your friends so you can see how your perception of them differs/coincides with their self-perception. My husband was the only one to accurately type me. Of the four others, I was typed an ESFP (what the crap?? Totally off-base), ENFJ and an ESFJ or something.

Skyward said:
I think the 'range' people see in INFJs is just because we tend to have different amounts of 'mental energy' from day to day, or even from hour to hour. I know I can start a day out great and then feel pretty depressed by the end of it for no good reason. Maybe it's because when people ask us 'what's up?' we cant really tell them because we DONT know what's up.

Our minds aren't as straight as other types. Even our closest other type, INTJ, has a straighter mind because of how linear Te is compared to Fe. Their mental organization doesn't change as much, and if it does it is due to logical reasoning based on new information. Computer vs DNA, a person can edit a hard-drive without messy consequences while editing DNA is much less straightforward because who knows what kind of things could happen that you weren't aware of.

This makes sense to me.

Lauren Ashley said something about holding people at arm's length. I think I do that a bit, too, but not in an immature/unhealthy way. In the past I used to be way TOO trusting (still kind of am) I've just experienced a few "friendships" (for lack of a better word) where people took advantage of me and manipulated me a LOT. So nowadays I'm very careful about how far I let a friendship develop, and I'm learning to set stricter boundaries.

I also used to never put any stock into my intuition, either, so now I'm trying to listen to that a bit more and let that determine who I spend time with. If I feel like you might be untrustworthy, I may pull away for a bit to reassess. Did that make sense?

But I think I didn't answer the question.
Uh - in short: I know I feel like a mixed bag :p.
 

Fidelia

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Good points!

I think the experience of many INFJs mirrors yours. As they mature, they start learning better where to draw boundaries and trust gut feelings because they are nearly always accurate.
 

mwv6r

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Love this!

The INF softens up the Jness, the NJ toughens up the Fness, and the FJ makes the Iness more socially assertive.

Boom. Puzzle solved.

In response to the OP's question, the only one that holds true for me is that I'm one very messy J. Messy room, messy car, messy desk, and drawers stuffed full of junk. Sometimes I wish I could morph into a sensor just long enough to get housework done. (sigh)

BlackCat is right; ISFJs tend to be quite a bit more extroverted than INFJs. I'm often in awe at how good my ISFJ friends/family are at making conversation with strangers.
 

The Outsider

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I think the 'range' people see in INFJs is just because we tend to have different amounts of 'mental energy' from day to day, or even from hour to hour.

Yeah, humans are like that.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I think this is where INFJ's ARE a mixed bag. Some I know are pretty objective, calm, and more detached; others, you are correct, are very emotional in their arguments.

As to the bolded piece..I don't view those sorts of statements to be 'common' with INFJ's either, to be honest. If that's what an INFJ said, that's a ludicrous/pointless comment because it obviously only pertains to his/her opinion....if it was meant to be taken seriously.

(Also, somewhat of a tangent, but it goes without saying that there will be a minority on here who self-type as INFJ and aren't; goes with any of the types, really. )
I agree with this. The whole issue of certitude and Ni creates many of its own internal poles. There are people who respond to gut feelings and hold onto it with certitude. There are other people who look at the big picture and takes years to form a sense of certitude. In INTJ descriptions it says that they know what they don't know and tend to have an area of expertise. I think the same can be said of the INFJ. For some the gut instinct is the beginning of understanding something and for others it is an end unto itself.

MBTI is also limited in organizing people into sixteen categories. There will doubtless be further dichotomies within each category not accounted for. These online sites add to confusion through casual typing of self and others that is not held to any sort of standard for accuracy. I'm all for letting people claim any type they like, but there is so much projecting of a single instance or two of some behavior by a type onto the whole of the category. If someone of a particular type enters the forum and upsets people, there are always suddenly a bunch of negative threads started about that type. I've been on here for years and watched the cycles. I have enough baggage myself and don't tend to care to have to carry everyone else's.

In the end each person is an individual and should be judged based on their own behavior and not someone else's.
 

Billy

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If someone of a particular type enters the forum and upsets people, there are always suddenly a bunch of negative threads started about that type.

Or everyone starts telling them that they aren't the type that they actually are because they are not acting in accordance to everyone stereotypical view of said type.
 

Skyward

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Yeah, humans are like that.

Well it seems to me that other types keep a more balanced level of activity, even if they go to a party they keep that level of activity, just in the party setting. There are always exceptions, but the pattern seems like INFJs, or at least me, can vary a lot. At least it feels that way.
 

The Outsider

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Well it seems to me that other types keep a more balanced level of activity, even if they go to a party they keep that level of activity, just in the party setting. There are always exceptions, but the pattern seems like INFJs, or at least me, can vary a lot. At least it feels that way.
I say that is a biased opinion.

In my observations, INFJs are not special in this regard, and there's nothing in the theory that would suggest that.
My own energy levels, along with my mood, vary greatly for one. And I am not an INFJ.

I'm not saying that it doesn't apply to INFJs, but it is either a wider, or an individual thing.
 

the state i am in

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Or everyone starts telling them that they aren't the type that they actually are because they are not acting in accordance to everyone's stereotypical view of said type.

thinking, with, cognitive function (Ni). it's the process that doesn't seem right, and the way the words fall and scatter on the page. communicating with N dom types feels like e.s.p., or, at the very least, secret sign language. when it doesn't feel like this, we all pause, scratching our chins and get all like- wtf?

and infjs are no more of a mixed bag than any other type. a larger proportion of the population of infjs feels like wasted potential. this is bc Ni can be complacent and reject new information, and bc many infjs feel defective socially. but infps, intps, too, have similar concerns, and are probably burning out and wallowing in their own self-flagellation just as much. we all fucking hate it. the distance from mediocre to great is pretty much the same in all of these types (which are probably 3 of the most wasted types overall, or feel the greatest disparity between what they do and what they feel they are capable of doing, leave more of themselves out of the world in their own private interior).

enfps and intjs, i find, at times, should hold out and wait for something bigger and better than what they are currently working on. but, being far from any great american story of success in my own autobiography, who am i to nit-pick. i also know a couple entjs and enfjs who could do something really great, but can't see themselves well enough to use their skills in their best capacity.

nfs also often have this frustration at feeling like others don't realize or respect their intelligence. infj is so vague and ambiguous, their thinking gets completely swallowed up by the fog between their eyes and mouth. infp just can't get it organized, at least until it develops sound methods or it just keeps shooting every time for a hole-in-one. enfp is just crazy and silly and forgetful, their scatterbrained-ness undermines the fact that they work for their understandings, and that there's an underlying reason they're a natural at almost everything. enfjs are so showy, their presentation prevents others from recognizing their inner complexity. the holism makes it difficult to present ideas in the form that has commonly been considered intelligent, organized, and correct throughout history.
 
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