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[NF] NF's, would you call yourself happy?

NF's would you desribe yourselves as 'happy'?

  • I'm an ENFP and I would call myself happy

    Votes: 9 17.0%
  • I'm an ENFP and I wouldn't call myself happy

    Votes: 2 3.8%
  • I'm an ENFP and this question is too personal

    Votes: 2 3.8%
  • I'm an ENFP and this question is shitty, naive, and unanswerable

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • I'm an INFJ and I would call myself happy

    Votes: 8 15.1%
  • I'm an INFJ and I wouldn't call myself happy

    Votes: 2 3.8%
  • I'm an INFJ and this question is too personal

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm an INFJ and this question is shitty, naive, and unanswerable

    Votes: 7 13.2%
  • I'm an ENFJ and I would call myself happy

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • I'm an ENFJ and I wouldn't call myself happy

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm an ENFJ and this question is too personal

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm an ENFJ and this question is shitty, naive, and unanswerable

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm an INFP and I would call myself happy

    Votes: 5 9.4%
  • I'm an INFP and I wouldn't call myself happy

    Votes: 10 18.9%
  • I'm an INFP and this question is too personal

    Votes: 2 3.8%
  • I'm an INFP and this question is shitty, naive, and unanswerable

    Votes: 4 7.5%

  • Total voters
    53

SuperFob

New member
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
264
MBTI Type
INFJ
So... ENFP's are happy. INFJ's are happy more than unhappy. INFP's usually aren't happy. ENFJ's couldn't care less either way.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
i don't know one happy infp irl. they are all discontent, and the more changes they make to try and become content, like divorce, seems to just make them more pathetically unhappy.
 

dani_elle

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
82
MBTI Type
ENFP
Generally yes, I have satisfaction in most areas of life and I am happy with it.

I'm studying what I love, while I'm not rich, I'm comfortable and I have pretty close friends and a very good boyfriend.

I'm rather dissatisfied in the sense I think I haven't achieved enough but I have the rest of my life to do that. Could use more money (Who doesn't?!?) and been through some tough times but I have overcome it :)
 

SciVo

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
244
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
924
i don't know one happy infp irl. they are all discontent, and the more changes they make to try and become content, like divorce, seems to just make them more pathetically unhappy.

Being human is hard. Being INFP is... well, my first thirty years were crap. It's taken me five more years of studying emotional intelligence, but I'm happy now. And about time!
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
So... ENFP's are happy. INFJ's are happy more than unhappy. INFP's usually aren't happy. ENFJ's couldn't care less either way.

:). I would've concluded: ENFP's are happy. INFJ's are happy and smartasses. Some INFP's are happy, some don't like giving themselves labels, and some are not happy. ENFJ's don't exist.
 

TickTock

Mud and rain and chaos...
Joined
Jan 18, 2008
Messages
948
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
I'm happy until I think about it.
 

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
1,210
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
What is happiness?

I am beginning to believe that happiness is the ability to live in the moment - in the sense of just enjoying the present, not letting the past or future take over.

It's different from living purely for or on impulse like I have in the past. It also doesn't mean ignoring or sweeping the past under a large rug. I'm getting better at making peace with the past, preparing for the future but living only in the present. I'm learning how to do this and like it so far.... :smile:

*Tries to copy Kyueei's cartwheel and injures herself.*
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Being human is hard. Being INFP is... well, my first thirty years were crap. It's taken me five more years of studying emotional intelligence, but I'm happy now. And about time!

well, that's awesome! maybe it just takes y'all a few decades to figure it out? do you think that what you go through as infp somehow evens out, or rewards you in other ways others can't achieve? like, does your suffering and exploration of life bring you to a place where you end up having a better understanding of things/life and more peace? or can an infp really only expect/hope to be basically content?

I am beginning to believe that happiness is the ability to live in the moment - in the sense of just enjoying the present, not letting the past or future take over.

i was going to write some version of this too. but then i realized, and have before, that as infj i derive much of my happiness from living in the future, and feeling content about that in the present moment, because that is how i simply work. as enfp, i am sure you are happiest living in the moment, based on what i know about enfps, plus p types in general seem to be able to do this more.

like all the self-help books, buddhism, other philosophies talk about the Goal being to live in the moment, but i have come to believe, while there are benefits to that way of living for most, that it is not really how some people are made. and to force myself to think and feel and live only in the moment is really doing myself a disservice in many ways and not being who i really am.
 

phthalocyanine

#005645
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
maybe many (younger?) INFPs are often unhappy because mainstream society isn't very INFP-friendly...
and INFPs are apt to try their damndest to be likeable in any circumstance (even if that takes forcing themselves to 'adjust' to standards and perceptions that clash with their own), and thus conform to a certain degree, which of course makes the INFP feel terrible in the long run.

when i read that infps are consistently on the bottom of the totem pole in lists like "types with the most marital satisfaction" and "types that make the most money", i can't help but think it's true that the stereotypical INFP just isn't a good fit for the popular culture and work world of today. they either try to conform and be unhappy or they remove themselves and grow to be content with a smaller social circle.
 

The Third Rider

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
763
MBTI Type
ENFj
I would not call myself neither unhappy nor happy but more unsatisfied, I always want more. But if I had to pick one I would say happy.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Would love to see this same poll presented to the NT's in the NT forum.
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
2,106
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I'm only happy when it rains.
 

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
1,210
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
i was going to write some version of this too. but then i realized, and have before, that as infj i derive much of my happiness from living in the future, and feeling content about that in the present moment, because that is how i simply work. as enfp, i am sure you are happiest living in the moment, based on what i know about enfps, plus p types in general seem to be able to do this more.

like all the self-help books, buddhism, other philosophies talk about the Goal being to live in the moment, but i have come to believe, while there are benefits to that way of living for most, that it is not really how some people are made. and to force myself to think and feel and live only in the moment is really doing myself a disservice in many ways and not being who i really am.

Sure, different strokes...

I'm not religious at all but I am spiritual in the sense of wondering about something larger than the confines of human experience and understanding.

I didn't come to this through a religious source or a self-help book.

I felt a real gap in the way I was experiencing the world around me. I'm not sure if ENFPs, driven as we are by our Ne, would necessarily find it easier to live in the moment. The possibilities always seem so much more pressing and exciting. Driven by impulse, as we are, isn't the same as living in the present.

I don't want to lose the connection with Ne either - those myriad possibilities are still an essential part of who I am. I also don't want to look back at my life and feel like I missed it while I was planning it.

An example is, on this last vacation in a fabulous new country, I was sitting at lunch with a very close friend and travel companion, planning our next vacation and had at least 5 possible countries I wanted to visit and she had her own list. It was so much fun talking about those possibilities. At the same time, I realized I just wanted to just soak in and enjoy where I was. Once I realized that, I started to notice and experience more fully how wonderful the food was and the sheer beauty of the place...I think I felt connected to the stereotypical ENFP romantic vision of life at that moment.

I've realized that a good balance is always having the next trip planned but when I'm on a trip or having dinner with someone or even a telephone conversation, I'm concentrating on just that. Sometimes it's just allowing physical sensations to take over. Getting in touch with Se is very satisfying. I feel a real difference when I can do that. That feeling that takes over for brief moments at a time that everything is right with the world...that's happiness for me.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
maybe many (younger?) INFPs are often unhappy because mainstream society isn't very INFP-friendly...
and INFPs are apt to try their damndest to be likeable in any circumstance (even if that takes forcing themselves to 'adjust' to standards and perceptions that clash with their own), and thus conform to a certain degree, which of course makes the INFP feel terrible in the long run.

when i read that infps are consistently on the bottom of the totem pole in lists like "types with the most marital satisfaction" and "types that make the most money", i can't help but think it's true that the stereotypical INFP just isn't a good fit for the popular culture and work world of today. they either try to conform and be unhappy or they remove themselves and grow to be content with a smaller social circle.

I've never been a people-pleaser and have stubbornly stuck to my own path and it has not served me so well. I think learning to adapt would actually help me out...maybe not. I find the adage of "It's not where you are, but who you're with that matters" to be true as far as happiness goes. My relationships make me happier than accomplishments, but forming and maintaining them is hard when you have a strong independent streak.

I do agree that society not being INFP friendly can lead one to feel worthless and isolated. It's also hard to let go of your idealism and be happy with reality. Ideals need to be kept as an abstract motivation, not as attainable end goals.

To me, happiness is a general sense of fulfillment and contentment in life in the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual realms. It does not mean that everything goes your way or that you're enjoying every minute. Maybe it's having a sense of purpose, feeling love & giving love, keeping hope, moving closer to your potential ideal, etc.

I have had moments of happiness, but I am overall not a happy person because I don't feel any general sense of fulfillment. I am not content with my current situation or where it appears to be leading. The moments of happiness are fleeting because they are not grounded by any bigger picture.
 

SciVo

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
244
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
924
well, that's awesome! maybe it just takes y'all a few decades to figure it out? do you think that what you go through as infp somehow evens out, or rewards you in other ways others can't achieve? like, does your suffering and exploration of life bring you to a place where you end up having a better understanding of things/life and more peace? or can an infp really only expect/hope to be basically content.

I wish that I could say that my suffering was necessary and has proportional benefits. However, some of my suffering was only necessary because my parents didn't know any better, and the only really proportional benefit is that I can authentically empathize with others' deep emotional pain. I understand that my parents improved themselves beyond their own upbringing and raised me better than how they'd been raised themselves, and I'm glad that I've improved myself to where maybe my kids (when I have some) will actually have enough emotional tools for handling life's inevitable difficulties gracefully. Still, at some level, I can't help resenting the part of the emotional trauma that was theoretically avoidable (beyond the ordinary complexes caused by being a human person.)

ETA: I just realized that I failed to really answer your question, because I don't know how much of my difficulty to attribute to being an INFP. I do know that I can wrap people in a gentle cocoon of respectful acceptance just by looking them in the eyes, so that's something.
 

Lacey

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
392
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm not exactly happy, but I'm not depressed anymore either. I'm pretty cool with that. Right now I'm in this limbo mode. I'm not particularly ecstatic about things, but I'm hopeful.
 

scortia

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
201
MBTI Type
INFJ
Way to go fellow INFJs who feel there are too many dimensions to the word "happy." We truly are probably unhappy because we refuse to look at things in a simple, straight-forward manner. :)
 
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