[INFJ] INFJs don't seem overemotional

[Koocoomoo]

Like I know some ENFPs, I know an INFP (other than myself) and I know an ENFJ.
The ENFPs and INFP are SUPER melodramatic.

The ENFJ isn't a cryer, but he's very emotional in his arguments and rules out logic almost entirely.

But I don't know any INFJs really well. They don't seem to be too emotional though. They seem to be almost Ts.
Most INFP are high Fs
So are INFJs low fs?

 

[Laurie]

LOL my husband doesn't seem to be "T". In fact, I think I seem more "T" than him. He can be just as emotional as any NF.

 

[entropie]

So are INFJs low fs?

No that's just Coolness

 

[Lily Bart]

I guess I think I'm just being considerate of other people -- why get them all worried and upset? I absorb other peoples' intense emotions and they really take their toll on me sometimes, so I don't like to do the same to other people -- but I guess other people don't react that way.

 

[cafe]

Having my emotions all hanging out all over the place in public would be the symbolic equivalent of dropping my drawers in the middle of a busy shopping mall. The emotions are there, I just don't feel that everyone needs to see them.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Having my emotions all hanging out all over the place in public would be the symbolic equivalent of dropping my drawers in the middle of a busy shopping mall. The emotions are there, I just don't feel that everyone needs to see them.

This.

Also, sometimes I just don't care to get too worked up about things. I just think "Okay...nice. Next." Everyday events are not worthy of the energy it takes to gush about them. Fe-ing all the time drains energy.

 

[heart]

Like I know some ENFPs, I know an INFP (other than myself) and I know an ENFJ.
The ENFPs and INFP are SUPER melodramatic.

The ENFJ isn't a cryer, but he's very emotional in his arguments and rules out logic almost entirely.

But I don't know any INFJs really well. They don't seem to be too emotional though. They seem to be almost Ts.
Most INFP are high Fs
So are INFJs low fs?

If you knew one well, I think you'd see a more emotional side. But they are Perception dominant and ENFJ and INFP are Feeling dominant.

But I still say that someone you think is INFP who is super-duper emo, like raging, crying and wailing dramatically all the time isn't INFP but some other type. INFP are more sulkers who dole out silent treatments and passive-aggressive punishments when upset, send out their heavy waves of emotion through dark looks etc until the people around them who care would gladly deal with an outright outburst just to get the real story on what was going on in their heads.

But not too many crying and screaming fits. I think just as with INFJ, there are many people on here mistyping others as INFP. But I used to mistype some people in my life ESFJ so I think it is pretty darn common to mistype others.

LOL my husband doesn't seem to be "T". In fact, I think I seem more "T" than him. He can be just as emotional as any NF.

Yes, my husband (INFJ) saves every ounce of emotions he feels during the day and expresses them to me when he comes home. Everyone thinks he is so calm. Not many people have ever seen his face of emotion. And he can sustain expression of emotion longer than me. Sustained emotional expression wipes me out, sometimes it seems to energize him.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

If you knew one well, I think you'd see a more emotional side.

Yes, if you are a significant person in the life of the INFJ you will definitely see more of the emotional side. In romantic relationships, especially. In fact, in that case, the INFJ may save most of their emotions just. for. you!

Yes, my husband (INFJ) saves every ounce of emotions he feels during the day and expresses them to me when he comes home. Everyone thinks he is so calm. Not many people have ever seen his face of emotion. And he can sustain expression of emotion longer than me. Sustained emotional expression wipes me out, sometimes it seems to energize him.

Lol, I wrote the above before you edited this in. And yes, INFJs can sustain emotional expression for quite long once they get worked up. But INFPs I know can as well.

 

[MFJAGgernaut-B]

INFJs are more content to observe the world around them and how much it sucks, then relay their findings to whomever will hear them out. If they become emotional around you, it's either because they trust you not to judge them or something's snapped upstairs. By the latter point if you haven't guessed they're under that much pressure before setting them off, you deserve everything they throw at you.

And while we're on the subject of contents under pressure...

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGWmONHipVo"]MYTHBUSTERS!![/YOUTUBE]

 

[entropie]

INFJs are more content to observe the world around them and how much it sucks, then relay their findings to whomever will hear them out. If they become emotional around you, it's either because they trust you not to judge them or something's snapped upstairs. By the latter point if you haven't guessed they're under that much pressure before setting them off, you deserve everything they throw at you.

Ok I agree, but why do you always need to tell everyone ?

 

[heart]

By the latter point if you haven't guessed they're under that much pressure before setting them off, you deserve everything they throw at you...

In my experience, this is typical INFJ upset face, mercilessly clinging to a self-righteous belief that they are 100 percent justified and you are 100 percent of the problem.

Best thing to do is to totally refuse to engage them when in this mindsate and if possible just leave the physical area.

 

[Fidelia]

The emotions are definitely there. Many people who don't know them well see them as generically "nice" because they are fairly private, somewhat easily embarrassed, don't like to impose and want to be able to handle things in stride. Those who know them well will see a lot more variation - more opinions, conflict, goofiness, sense of humour, sadness, happiness. (They will also have much higher expectations of these people than they do INFJs will only cry in front of only a selected few and even then try not to bleed all over the road. Sometimes it takes awhile for them to figure out though that it is better to express some negative emotions before they become too strong and more bewildering for their SO to know how to react to. Their SO also really needs to understand that they need someone to listen and talk with to process their thoughts and feelings and without that they need to either find it elsewhere, or wall off more and more of themselves, or become over-emotional much more easily over seemingly small things.

 

[cascadeco]

The emotions are definitely there. Many people who don't know them well see them as generically "nice" because they are fairly private, somewhat easily embarrassed, don't like to impose and want to be able to handle things in stride. Those who know them well will see a lot more variation - more opinions, conflict, goofiness, sense of humour, sadness, happiness. (They will also have much higher expectations of these people than they do INFJs will only cry in front of only a selected few and even then try not to bleed all over the road. Sometimes it takes awhile for them to figure out though that it is better to express some negative emotions before they become too strong and more bewildering for their SO to know how to react to. Their SO also really needs to understand that they need someone to listen and talk with to process their thoughts and feelings and without that they need to either find it elsewhere, or wall off more and more of themselves, or become over-emotional much more easily over seemingly small things.

Yes, I agree with this.

I am emotional, but I also prefer not to 'impose' (for lack of a better word) my emotional state on most people, as for one thing, it is often a momentary emotion and I have yet to work through it/process my feelings/thoughts, so don't want to expose it prematurely, and for another thing I simply don't think there is a need to introduce my mood into most conversations - it would serve no purpose.

I will be more open with those I really trust, and show them that side of me, but I am always careful because I feel I have many sides to my personality, and feel most people can handle only a select % of myself - say, person A can handle/accept 50% of my thoughts and emotions, whereas person B maybe only 20%, whereas person C an entirely different 20%, etc. That's another reason I am selective.

So, yeah, to the majority of people in real-life I come across very even-keeled (and, even to those closest to me, I think that's my natural level, most of the time, and the minority of the time I'll fluctuate in either direction...again, if I really trust the person and know they'll accept me even with my at-times very intense emotions).

 

[cafe]

Good points. If I have figured out that I'm just in a cranky mood, then I don't see that as anyone else's fault or problem. Probably means I have neglected a physical need and it's trying to get my attention. If I feel I'm having trouble keeping the ick in, I try to isolate myself or warn those around me that I'm not fit company. They don't need my crap spewing on them, especially since I'll be fine once I take a nap or eat or whatever it is I need to fix.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

Yes, if you are a significant person in the life of the INFJ you will definitely see more of the emotional side. In romantic relationships, especially. In fact, in that case, the INFJ may save most of their emotions just. for. you!

Lol, this is very true.

I don't know if INFJ's are the most emotional type, but I think they are the most sensitive type. Everything affects them, and chances are they are feeling what you are feeling (possibly more intensely). I think they prefer to let their emotions out when most people aren't looking though.

 

[PuddleRiver]

Having my emotions all hanging out all over the place in public would be the symbolic equivalent of dropping my drawers in the middle of a busy shopping mall. The emotions are there, I just don't feel that everyone needs to see them.

I second this ^.

 

[PuddleRiver]

This.

Also, sometimes I just don't care to get too worked up about things. I just think "Okay...nice. Next." Everyday events are not worthy of the energy it takes to gush about them. Fe-ing all the time drains energy.

Oooh, and this is so true, too.

 

[simulatedworld]

INFJs are the least overly emotional of any F type, by a long shot.

It's often said that they're as close to NTs as one can get without actually being one.

 

[CzeCze]

So, yeah, to the majority of people in real-life I come across very even-keeled (and, even to those closest to me, I think that's my natural level, most of the time, and the minority of the time I'll fluctuate in either direction...again, if I really trust the person and know they'll accept me even with my at-times very intense emotions).

You know, reading this thread validated my hunch on INFJs. The I think I have met and know a few INFJs (including dating one) and also from this forum - INFPs and INFJs are very different. It's just 1 letter off but the cognitive functions are totally different. Like what Heart alluded to - being perception led (Ni or Ne) as opposed to feeling led (Fe or Fi) makes a big difference. And Fi vs Fe makes a huge difference. Fi is more receptive and emanating a vibe whereas Fe is more action-oriented and gives a person more of a caretaker vibe.

I also think INFJs seem much more even keeled and have a sense of solemnity or responsbility about them. The criticism that INFPs often hear (at least on this forum) about being "too sensitive" I don't think INFJs get levelled at them nearly as much or as strongly.

I think in my personal interaction, when I am talking to an INFJ I dont' feel those Fi waves emanating or feel something brewing under the surface like I do with an INFP.

 

[r.a]

Yes, I agree with this.

I am emotional, but I also prefer not to 'impose' (for lack of a better word) my emotional state on most people, as for one thing, it is often a momentary emotion and I have yet to work through it/process my feelings/thoughts, so don't want to expose it prematurely, and for another thing I simply don't think there is a need to introduce my mood into most conversations - it would serve no purpose.

I will be more open with those I really trust, and show them that side of me, but I am always careful because I feel I have many sides to my personality, and feel most people can handle only a select % of myself - say, person A can handle/accept 50% of my thoughts and emotions, whereas person B maybe only 20%, whereas person C an entirely different 20%, etc. That's another reason I am selective.

So, yeah, to the majority of people in real-life I come across very even-keeled (and, even to those closest to me, I think that's my natural level, most of the time, and the minority of the time I'll fluctuate in either direction...again, if I really trust the person and know they'll accept me even with my at-times very intense emotions).

very well put.