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[INFP] Male INFPs = Nice Guy/Average Frustrated Chump

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
After days of contemplation, INFP turtle finally comes to the conclusion that the female turtle would be an AMAZING mate. However, INFP turtle knows that there are futuristic death cars coming from both directions of the road. Because his Ne sees possible future failures, he is terrified of making a move.

In your metaphor, what scenarios represent "futuristic death cars"?
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
My fav part is the picture. Although the whole thing is awesome.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
In your metaphor, what scenarios represent "futuristic death cars"?

I was being vague in the matter in order to accommodate the individuality of INFPs.

However, if you were to ask me, I often think about scenarios in which the girl is "unsatisfied"or doesn't agree with my main morals. Most of my morality is flexible, but there are just a 2 or 3 things that I hold almost sacred. Furthermore, I am sometimes terrified of the girl just not understanding me at all. In fact, one of my main motivations in coming to this forum is to observe how personality types communicate and behave.

It is a magnificent tool, however, within MBTIs dark side resides the knowledge that no one will ever truly understand you.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
I don't know. INFP turtle could very well have a violent fit of jealous rage and push the tortoise off of an abutment and into a deep drainage well.

Anything is possible, I suppose. ;) Especially if the turtle is already deep into the relationship.
 

Cranky

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
240
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
There is an upside to this.

The way I see this is that INFPs are sometimes overlooked. A lot of people see them just as nice guys as failure to percieve what's under the INFPs skin. They don't see deep enough.

But when INFPs do find intimacy, they have a lot of give. The outisde is nice, the inside holds burning passion. I think INFPs are capable of expressing the strongest intimacy, so when they get to an intimate level, it is wonderful.

Do you know what I mean? It was hard to explain, and my brain isn't running in high gear today.

:wubbie:
 

Airwalker

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
10
MBTI Type
INFP
As the happily married wife of an INFP, this advice is sage and golden. We want nice guys to settle down with. My friends are always asking me where they can find a guy like my husband. We want a few good men. ;)

:

You want nice guys to settle down with and take care of the family. But want a "bad boy" type to live out your crazy sexual fantasies. If have read that during certain times during the year woman prefer the aggressive "alpha male" types over the nice guys. Something about their genes being more wanted for
" better" offspring..Hmmm
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
You want nice guys to settle down with and take care of the family. But want a "bad boy" type to live out your crazy sexual fantasies. If have read that during certain times during the year woman prefer the aggressive "alpha male" types over the nice guys. Something about their genes being more wanted for
" better" offspring..Hmmm

You can be nice and still bad.
 

antireconciler

it's a nuclear device
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
866
MBTI Type
Intj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so
You must not think that relationships come with difficulty for you.

Relationship failure -> Identification with relationship failure -> Low confidence -> Attraction to low confidence -> Relationship failure.

Avoid this.
 

Fecal McAngry

New member
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
976
I don't know about you but I feel like this. According to the titular article on Wikipedia an Average Frustrated Chump is described as:


I think that Male INFPs pretty much represent the stereotypical "nice guy" archetype, in that, we are often quite sensitive and reserved when it comes to speaking with the opposite sex/love interests. I often notice myself avoiding girls in general to spare myself the embarrassment of becoming so flustered and end up stuttering/totally making an idiot of myself, and I'm sure that there must be other INFPs who feel the same way.

I have a hard time believing that women truly want a "nice guy" as they say they do, especially when you see so many women with such jerk-offs, you know?

This does not speak to me or my experience. When I find someone I actually like--and she's single & available--I go right after her. The problem is that there are very few women out there who fascinate me on all the necessary levels...

I recently had a date with an INTJ...we were discussing her last boyfriend, and I asked her what he liked about her..."Well," she replied, "there aren't many women out there who are beautiful, smart, and thoughtful."

AMEN.

I laughed, her comment took Chutzpah, but it ain't bragging if you can back it up, and she certainly can....
 

HollyGolightly

New member
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I don't know about you but I feel like this. According to the titular article on Wikipedia an Average Frustrated Chump is described as:


I think that Male INFPs pretty much represent the stereotypical "nice guy" archetype, in that, we are often quite sensitive and reserved when it comes to speaking with the opposite sex/love interests. I often notice myself avoiding girls in general to spare myself the embarrassment of becoming so flustered and end up stuttering/totally making an idiot of myself, and I'm sure that there must be other INFPs who feel the same way.

I have a hard time believing that women truly want a "nice guy" as they say they do, especially when you see so many women with such jerk-offs, you know?

We do want a nice guy. We don't purposely go after jerks. Sometimes people pretend to be something they are not and once you have fallen for them it's too late. They start treating you badly and it's almost impossible to leave because the emotional ties have been made.

I'm not a guy and I'm not INFP but I have felt this way most of my life. Everyone has always referred to me as "nice" but nobody really wanted to date me and it seemed they were choosing girls who were nowhere near as nice as me, who were complete bitches who didn't have enough empathy to care for them like I could.

But they are people that will appreciate those qualities (sensitivity, kindness etc). It just takes maturity. Sometimes it seems more exciting to date someone who you know isn't good for you, who will provide a bit of unpreditability. But one day you wake up and realise that what you want is love...not pain. I woke up only recently, for some people it takes a while longer. But when they do they want an INFP kinda guy :)
 

MrRandom88

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INFP
I don't know about you but I feel like this. According to the titular article on Wikipedia an Average Frustrated Chump is described as:


I think that Male INFPs pretty much represent the stereotypical "nice guy" archetype, in that, we are often quite sensitive and reserved when it comes to speaking with the opposite sex/love interests. I often notice myself avoiding girls in general to spare myself the embarrassment of becoming so flustered and end up stuttering/totally making an idiot of myself, and I'm sure that there must be other INFPs who feel the same way.

I have a hard time believing that women truly want a "nice guy" as they say they do, especially when you see so many women with such jerk-offs, you know?

I'm an INFP (or so i think) who has learned how to be a jerk-off when necessary :)
I can definitely relate to the ignoring girls part, but i've learned how to use that as an advantage for me because it creates mystery (gotta have the girl's attention first though).

One name can change your life:
David Deangelo.

Read his material (Especially 'Attraction isn't a Choice'). It will change your perspective on women for the better. Basically he explains how you can make women FEEL that gut level attraction for you (similar to how what men feel when they SEE a beautiful girl; men dont choose to feel attracted to a beautiful girl. Women don't choose to feel attracted to a confident guy).
 

soft

New member
Joined
May 1, 2010
Messages
61
MBTI Type
infp
You must not think that relationships come with difficulty for you.

Relationship failure -> Identification with relationship failure -> Low confidence -> Attraction to low confidence -> Relationship failure.

Avoid this.

i totally see this in myself. i have terrible confidence when it comes to relationships. the girl i've been stuck on for a while also seems to lack confidence in stuff like intimacy.. just makes it that much harder :doh:
 
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