Wow...I'm sort of speechless. This is my ENFP best friend in a nutshell! This side of her is the only side I "don't like" ....very manipulative in this regard and I've noticed she just needs to know that the person finds her attractive or she can "have" the person...then her interest fades. I've noticed she turns this "on" especially when someone else is getting more attention than her or two of her friends are bonding over something and she's not necessarily the center of the attention during that time.
I know that this sends mixed messages to the other person involved and yet at the same time she has so many "followers" who await this attention from her...it's sort of pathetic to watch these people, imo...but I understand that they don't know her motivation behind it. Or know her very well. It's surface and unfortunately, narcissistic. She's way too gorgeous to need this from people. But is this a need that an ENFP has? OR is this something that is...entertaining to the ENFP? I get the feeling she's entertaining herself AND boosting her self-esteem at the same time. Which is why this works with people...there's an element of truth in the flirting that unless you knew her, you would buy into it as being much more serious than it actually is.
i have to agree. i find the flirtatiousness of my
new (still not firmed up
) enfp friend to be confusing and misleading. in the beginning her forthrightness at wanting to 'hang out' with me didn't get much rise or response out of me. i am a busy introvert. i knew her interest in me was in the professional realm and i don't practice my profession anymore. so i didn't see much point in taking this acquaintanceship/friendship very far. but she was persistent in her pursuit of me. haltingly, we gradually became friends over a year and a half or so. i love her zaniness and crassness. we are alike in many ways. we have many things in common. i could tell i was her latest hobby but i didn't mind so much because having so much attention, was, well, nice. actually, i likened it to being 'on a pedestal' for a long while. she had me on a pedestal.
she would post things on my facebook page like, "i LOVE you!" "i miss you!" "i need a ----- fix soon!" and things like that. she'd post songs she thought i'd like: fun songs, risque songs, crunky songs. her husband, her most faithful minion, even flirted with me (and he's hot). she lobbied that we hang out as couples. she lobbied that we work together. she lobbied that we go camping together. she said she'd do whatever i wanted her to do if i would practice with her, apprentice her, etc. haha. i was pretty immune to her perseverance, and saw it as her playful personality, but when i was lackadaisical, she'd just pour on the charm all the more, and i noticed her (and weirdly, her husband) becoming more flirty all the time.
well, i am a for-real person with for-real desires. we are not new to having a sexual rendezvous if the situation presents itself, which it rarely does. i had hinted early on about this side of myself with her, and she had interestingly ignored it, but i knew she had heard me. so i started becoming intrigued with her flirting. i found myself responding to her husband when he placed his hand in the small of my back and rubbed it around a little bit when they said goodbye after hanging out one night. my usual response to her sexual innuendoes and increasing flirtatious behavior, was to giggle and not say much. but as i got to know her and she slowly began 'passing my tests,' at the lake one day, i started giving it back. her innuendoes ran into mine. her sexual jokes found a warm and funny reception. we compared notes on the coloration of our sweet parts--pink or brown? her bark met my bite.
then she began emailing more with me. when i sent her my candid email explaining forthrightly how i (as an infj) take a while to trust someone and let them into my life, and about how that is a gradual process fraught with gaining trust and sharing experiences, i started to not hear much from her anymore. i wondered where she went. she quit posting so much on my facebook page. my pms went unanswered for a longer period of time than i had ever had to wait before. my bid to go camping was basically ignored. whereas i couldn't beat this woman off with a stick before, i wondered now where she had disappeared.
evidently she found another colleague of mine who
is still practicing. she is putting all the energy into her (and more i'm sure) than she had been putting into me. she got my books, she picked my brain, she expoited me professionally for all i had, and personally for what i finally let trickle out, and now she is essentially gone back out of my life.
i am no stranger to flirting. indeed, after reading the blog linked in this op, i have some demons to face of my own in that regard (in an unrelated issue), which makes me feel fairly ashamed. but it cannot be ignored that flirting for most people shows romantic interest in them. if you are not interested romanically in someone and you flirt anyway, you are playing with another person's feelings and emotions.
if you continue flirting, and you don't personally know this person extremely well and they you, it can become quite confusing for that person. left unchecked it can escalate to him or her feeling used.
Oh, I fell for the charms! We dated for a brief time. But it fell apart very fast and it ended badly after this ENFP did something I considered very disrespectful. We didn't talk for a couple months afterward. She apologized and we ended up being really great friends....and everyone lived happily ever after! 
