[INFP] Questions for INFPs about love

[Coeur]

This refers to general love, both romantic and platonic. Answer as many or as few questions as you wish.

1. Define love in your own words.
2. What does love feel like for you?
3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
5. How many people do you TRULY love?
6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
7. What causes you to love someone?
8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

 

[metaphours]

Great idea for a thread! Here are my answers:


1. Define love in your own words.
Love is an emotion beyond human understanding. All I can say is the Love is a cathartic compassion for another human being and comes in all shapes and sizes.

2. What does love feel like for you?
Romantic love: I truly don't know yet.
Family love: A feeling that, even though you may have arguments or rough times, you're always drawn back to your family, through that recognizable sense of compassion for each other.

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
Before I answer this question, I need to get my head out of the gutter.
.....
Okay, now that that's done, I guess I could say, that when I'm romantically in love with somebody, just spending time with them and talking with them is enough.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
It depends on who the person is. If I truly loved the person (which therefore means I would be very comfortable around them) I would be able to express it very easily (e.g. hugs, kisses, long talks, long-lasting embraces, etc.)

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
Romantic love? I don't think I've truly ever been in love with somebody.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
Ehh, if the person is truly the right person, it could take a split second for me to realize that they're the one (Ni is pretty useful that way )

7. What causes you to love someone?
When I can feel that they're a caring person, that I can easily talk to about anything, and that I would like to spend time with them in a relationship.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
YES. Many a-times. All I'm going to say is that it blows. It's even worse, when you find out you were just being used.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
I definitely fluctuate, depending on how people are acting towards me, themselves, and others.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
It's pretty easy for me to love someone, considering that I'm an INFP. However, it really does depend on the person's personality. If they have the right personality, I can "love" them in a heartbeat, others it takes a while.

 

[Prototype]

1. Love; A practice that should only expressed after one fully understands its consequences.

10. No, I believe everyone deserves love in their lives.

 

[BlackCat]

1. Define love in your own words.

Love is a feeling you get when you really, really like someone. Like, everything clicks with them. You feel that they could complete you as a person. It's totally insane, you have insane feelings and passion toward the person you love.

2. What does love feel like for you?

*removes mind from gutter*

It's exciting and scary at the same time. But all of the feelings lead to my wanting to be with the person.

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?

Receive it eh? I'd say just spend a lot of time with them and to know that they care, I don't want anything overdone or anything like that. I like to keep it simple. Just knowing someone cares is good enough for me when it comes to receiving it.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

I show my love by "letting someone in" completely you could say. Also by showing interest in totally knowing them as a person you could say. I'm a weird mix of effusive and reserved, I'll be totally calm with a quiet intensity toward the person one moment and the next I'll be completely effusive and insane, all depending on how I feel.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?

As for romantic love "true" love has never happened for me I don't think, but I've experienced things very, very close to love, but it was never quite there.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

It's totally subjective. Depends on how hard I fall for them and how fast I fall for them.

7. What causes you to love someone?

When I feel "safe" with them, when we both have a good amount of interest in each other, when we have insane chemistry, the basics?

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

No I haven't.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctate between love and hate?

My feelings toward people don't change unless they have a reason to. And this doesn't mean I just decide one day that I hate them... they have to actually present a reason for me to like or dislike them.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

I'm open. I want to find true love, so why should I be guarded? I don't want to complicate things too much.

 

[Coeur]

Hooray, responses!
Now, to answer my own questions.

1. Define love in your own words.
Love is composed of sacrificial actions that demonstrate caring for the other person. [I sound like a dictionary. XD] It can be an emotion, but it is something that lasts when the feelings fade. It implies good will and commitment. It is strongest when shares and has no real limits.
2. What does love feel like for you?
I see it in my head, not my heart. It's I can visualize a deep pool of overpowering affection. I don't neccessary delve into that pool, but I know for a fact that those emotions are there when I scratch the surface. They're very overpowering if I choose to dive in.
3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
Hm... anything honest is fine with me. I love hugs and compliments. My love language is quality time, which means I love it when people spend time with me and listen to my crazy ideas. I feel very special when people want to be with me and make efforts to do so.
4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
I usually have an easy time expressing it if I know the other person likes recieving it and won't reject me. I usually match the other person's level and method of affection.
5. How many people do you TRULY love?
A small handful, but the number is growing. It's getting easier for me to love people.
6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
Years.
7. What causes you to love someone?
I am not entirely sure. It seems like they need to be a source of intellectual amusement in some way. They need to entertain me in a way that I cannot entertain myself. Vulnerability and brokenness draws me to people too, though this isn't a good thing.
8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
Yes. It hurts, but I am willing to wait. Love is cheap when it isn't shared. The other person's happiness comes first.
9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
It can fluctate quite a bit because I react strongly to things. If you do something nice, I'll remember every other nice thing you've ever done, and this intensifies the emotion. The same goes for negative emotion.
10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
It's getting easier and easier. I don't wall myself off, so to speak, but I restrain myself in romantic relationships. I'm not going to sacrifice myself for a temporary relationship. When I care, I care deeply, and so I take precautions to protect myself.

 

[OrangeAppled]

1. Define love in your own words.
A profound, mostly unselfish emotion founded on respect, admiration, affection, connection, and devotion.

2. What does love feel like for you?
Romantic love is like a mysterious feeling in the pit of the stomach. Okay, I admit, I've really only been infatuated/mildly obsessed with people, not in love. For my family and friends, it's a feeling of security and a deep connection that time and circumstance doesn't wear down.

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
I'll take what I can get

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
It can be very difficult for me to express love and affection. Even with my own family I resort to this ornery "aw shucks" attitude when they express their familial love for me. I'm getting better at it with age though. I'm much more huggy than I've ever been and more vocal about my positive feelings. I like the mushy gushy stuff, but I feel so awkward engaging in it. My ultimate show of love is unyielding loyalty and emotional support. The people I love can always count on me to have their back and to be a shoulder to cry on.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
I'd say less than 10. Family and a few friends.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
A long time usually, as in years. It's unusual for me to form a lasting bond quickly. That said, it can greatly depend on the individual.

7. What causes you to love someone?
A strong emotional/mental connection. Ties that have been built and strengthened over time. Respect and security are huge for me also. I need to reach the point where I am comfortable and have shared my inner self, which is my true self.


8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
Well, I've experienced unrequited infatuation. At least I think it was unrequited. I never made my feelings known in any of the cases, as ultimately there were some large obstacles preventing any romantic relationship from developing, regardless of anyone's feelings. I tend to be a little too pragmatic & safe when it comes to romantic love. I need to learn how to shout it from the rooftops


9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?
My love is very consistent. My "like" for people can fluctuate, which is pretty normal I think. I sometimes over idealize people, so I can feel let down easily. There is a line of no return that can be crossed, and some have crossed it. I find it near impossible to ever feel the same for them again, but it takes a lot for someone to damage the relationship beyond repair.


10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
I am very guarded because when I feel, it's deeply and mostly permanent, which leaves me vulnerable. It is not difficult for me to love once I get there, but developing the feelings take some real cultivation and a willingness in me that is not easy to inspire.

 

[Ambrosia]

1. Define love in your own words.
It's like gravity, a force that draws people together.

2. What does love feel like for you?
In our universe, objects never really touch one another, there is always a tiny bit of space between them, but we still can feel them... I think that's what love is like, two people never really touch, but, in a way, I think that just makes it even more romantic.

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
Silent expressions of love... Subtle things that just stir up the affirmation in myself...

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
I don't think many people would pick up on the way I express affection immediately... Some people have told me that I'm cold. (I was on the verge of tears when they said that.)

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
Honestly... I think I'll spend my whole life wondering.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
Hard to say... I usually know very quickly when I have any potential relationship with someone. But my feelings may not present themselves immediately.

7. What causes you to love someone?
I suppose it's all about timing, it's not so much about finding the right person, but when you find them.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
As a gay male, I've been attracted to straight men who obviously don't return such feelings. Not only is it heartbreaking, but it is scary at times, too. It feels like it would be hard enough for someone as introverted as me to find someone, it can be hard for anyone, but I feel these things just makes it far more difficult. The odds don't seem to be in my favor.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
I have a hard time getting angry at people... At least, expressing it. I'm probably more fluctuant than I lead people to believe. But I don't think it's fluctuates to levels that wreaks havoc on my relationships with people.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
I'm naturally very reserved, but I have resorted to sabotage just to get away from someone.

 

[Polaris]

1. Define love in your own words.

To love someone is to feel their joy, to suffer their pain, and to take pleasure in their sheer existence.

2. What does love feel like for you?

Concern for the person's welfare, since mine depends on theirs. A desire to be valued by that person, just as I value them. A need to bring them pleasure and to receive it in turn. A feeling of kinship, brotherly and intimate. In the case of romance, all of those things, plus a total absorption in that person combined with a deep longing that is at once euphoric and painful.

3. How do you prefer to receive love?

Any act of love is perfect so long as it doesn't hurt me in some way.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

There are many ways that I show love for someone. They all boil down to attempts at bringing the person happiness and trying to heal or prevent their pain. Because of my extreme self-consciousness, it's difficult for me to do that for people I bear only a slight affection. In the case of someone I deeply love, the strength of my affection brings me equal strength to show it (providing we're on good terms with each other).

5. How many people do you TRULY love?

There's only one person I love very much.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

Not very long. It's entirely possible for me to fall in love on a whim.

7. What causes you to love someone?

Looking at someone and seeing something extraordinary in all the right ways: beautiful, original, and noble. Seeing pleasant possibilities with this person, most importantly companionship. Feeling compelled to reach out to them for some reason, perhaps because they have a wound I want to heal or any number of other things.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

I would say I have, although I can't be certain. My feelings in that type of situation are a mix of longing and obsession. The whole situation becomes something I have to bring to a resolution and clear out of my system. Before I do that, it's impossible to function properly.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?

My feelings toward people are pretty consistent. They change gradually rather than suddenly.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

I'm of two minds about this. In one way I feel detached from people as if I don't belong among them and can't truly share their concerns. In another way I see people as works of art that it's very easy to become entranced by and wound up in. Yes, I am guarded, and this explains the feeling of distance I often labor under.

 

[Wiley45]

1. Define love in your own words. I have a hard time trying to define love, but to me, love is a sense of wanting the best for another person, being "on their team," and being willing to do anything I can to help them, and often includes fond feelings toward that person. Romantic love would also include respect, admiration, enjoying time spent with another person, sexual attraction, and appreciated differences.

2. What does love feel like for you?

Caring deeply about the welfare of another person, and desiring to help however possible. Wanting, in most cases, to put someone's needs at the top of my priority list. Wanting to spend time with the person. Admiring and focusing on their good qualities.

3. How do you prefer to receive love?

I prefer to be told I'm loved, and told what people enjoy or admire about me, whether in written or spoken words. (Though they must be sincere in order for me to feel loved.)

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

I don't usually hesitate to compliment people genuinely or try to encourage them, unless I think they'll assume I have ulterior motives. I'm not reserved about showing love -- I'm only reserved about showing personal aspects of myself. When it comes to romantic love, I have always been very reserved until I completely trust someone, and then after that point it's never been hard for me to express love.

I show love mostly in words and physical affection. Also, in giving up my own needs/desires for somebody else's at certain times.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?

In terms of a non-romantic love, I believe I truly love a lot of people, too many to count up in a list off the top of my head.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

Not long at all, though I separate love and respect, and it takes me a long while to earn respect for someone. If I define love as wanting the best for another person and being willing to do anything to help them get there, I "love" people, even new acquaintances, as a default mode and have had to learn to shut that off sometimes.

7. What causes you to love someone?

Seeing their good qualities, even the good qualities that are buried in a lot of crap.

Romantically speaking, respect and admiration, as well as enjoying the exploration of life with the other person and feeling safe with him.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it. I thought I was going to go out of my mind. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't function until I let it go and got busy with other things.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate? I only fluctuated between love and hate once, when I was involved with a very unstable and emotionally unhealthy person. Otherwise, I tend to be very stable toward loving. Even when I've been angry/hurt, or had to cut off contact with people, my feelings of love did not turn to feelings of hate.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open? It is not at all difficult for me to love people, and I freely express these thoughts and feelings of love. I don't tend to hold back for fear of being hurt. However, it is rare that I make myself vulnerable to others by letting them in on my deeper personal thoughts and feelings, such as dreams for the future, or insecurities. It's much harder for me to accept love than to give it.

 

[r0wo1]

1. Define love in your own words.
Describing the emotion of love... thats difficult. I would say that pure love is the emotion I feel deep down for somebody when I realize I would do anything for them, including giving up my own life if need be.

2. What does love feel like for you?
Devotion! The desire to assist the well being and feelings of those that I love.

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
It is nice to receive love on the same level of devotion that I give it... but that seems pretty rare . I prefer to be constantly reminded by others abou ttheir love and caring for me . Words are enough but actions are always worth more.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
This depends entirely upon the person. With people that I consider my best friends, Im rather effusive and extremely (almost annoyingly ) loyal. It takes time for me to work to that point though and it depends on the trust I have in the person.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
Not including members of my family, 4.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
It can happen in a split second but it typically doesn't. In regards to my four they have been those that I have really taken the time to get to know and understand.

7. What causes you to love someone?
I have no idea! It just clicks. I don't understand why I come to love somebody most of the time. It just happens.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
Absolutely I believe that to be the reason I'm guarded around new people and take time to trust others.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
Not really, I don't think I really hate anybody to be honest. When it comes to somebody I love its very consistant.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
I'm very guarded with new people I don't want to throw my love around, I only show it to those I know will appreciate it. This is definitely in relation to question 8.

 

[WoodsWoman]

1. Define love in your own words.
"The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, pg. 81 ---The key word is 'will' and don't get hung up on 'spiritual' - his implications here are for the growth of the part of the human that is understood through psychology.

2. What does love feel like for you?
home, belonging, connection, mutual respect and admiration, constancy, loyalty, trust

3. How do you prefer to receive love?
Romantically? Quality time and physical touch
Other? However the other person is able to give it that isn't abusive.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
With someone I care for and know fairly well it is easy - easy to give hugs, to say 'I love you.' to put out the effort to do the things I know will please them. I can be effusive if I know that is what the other person needs - but effusive is too strong a word for my normal mode of operation. Being willing to listen.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
Romantically? 1 and he's dead.
As family/friend? There are many I care deeply for.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone? It can take time or only a moment - there are too many variables for it to be otherwise.

7. What causes you to love someone? I don't always know until I feel some of what is listed in #2.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
Romantically? Only in my head - that INFP tendency to idolize someone without ever knowing them or speaking to them, thereby creating a totally fictional person - a 'what if' world.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?
My feelings fluctuate all the time - not necessarily between love and hate. My definition of love implies a level of choice - I choose to love others even when there are times my feelings are hurt by them. I love(d) my husband even when I was angry at him. This definition also implies a difference between love and like. I can love someone but not necessarily like them

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
I find it relatively easy to love others, but I work to guard myself for I cannot do or be everything. I find I cannot invest the time and effort required of a good relationship with more than one person at a time mate-wise.

 

[Thessaly]

1. Define love in your own words.

When you're willing to put someone else's needs above your own.

2. What does love feel like for you?

Romantic love is incredibly overwhelming and I find difficult to harness.

3. How do you prefer to receive love?

I honestly like guys who are very direct and all encompassing in their love. I enjoy being protected and taken care of in almost an aggressive sense. I don't like to second guess someone's feelings. I want to be told often and shown in concrete ways that someone cares for me.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

I have no problem expressing love and it is truly an art form for me. If I love someone they will have never been shown such kindness, selflessness and romance before in their life most likely. I can definitely be shy at times, but I will write you poems, surprise you with gifts and feel any pain you feel with you.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?

My family and the friends who I can consistently rely on.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

Not very long. If you pass my tests, meet my non-negotiables, and open your heart to me in only a matter of weeks I may be entirely yours.

7. What causes you to love someone?

Once someone meets my compatibility needs, emotional depth/intensity and thoughtfulness lures me in incredibly well.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

Probably the worst feeling in the entire world. I can become quite a martyr to unreturned feelings. I find it very difficult to be logical and pull myself together when I've given someone my heart. I really lose all sense of pride.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

I can fluctuate within an hour in my feelings towards someone. I am quite moody. Thank god I keep most of those fluctuations to myself otherwise people would believe I am a sociopath.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

I guard myself as much as I can, but I'm a sucker for romance and if someone strongly and consistently pursues me I can give in quite early before truly warranted unfortunately. Love is a very turbulent thing for me. I would say I find it difficult in the sense that it is such a powerful and overwhelming feeling. It takes a long time before I can feel secure in love.

 

[phthalocyanine]

Define love in your own words. unconditional... reverence? empathy? acceptance? -i can't really think of any concise answer that would do it justice. it has to do with admiration, respect, desire, empathy, sharing, and trust. to love someone is to become entwined with them and their experiences, to be open to share yours with them, and to willingly suffer the downs when you aren't enjoying the ups together.

What does love feel like for you? intense, bittersweet, vulnerable, powerful, connecting, curious, warm, disorienting, irrational, fated, centered, silly, serious, bashful, anabashed, sly, perfect, delirious.. it's kind of a paradoxical thing for me and that's just the way i like it.

How do you prefer to receive love?

as long as it's earnest, i'm not picky.

How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

i like to demonstrate my love with gestures; by making someone laugh really hard, by giving little gifts, or just by being present when someone needs me. my consistent side comes out where love is concerned.

i am reserved in general.. but i warm up a lot to those i really feel connected with. expressing love can sometimes be intimidating, so i am somewhat guarded..but i wouldn't say it's particularly difficult once i get rolling. i'm a sap.

How many people do you TRULY love? i can count 'em on my hands..

How long does it take for you to truly love someone? duration quota unknown.

What causes you to love someone? so many variables here. come back to me on this one..

Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it. yes, and 'indifferent'. life goes on.

Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

i can sometimes trick myself into thinking i hate someone if i am upset enough in a situation, but that lasts even less time than it probably took to type my responses to these questions.

essentially, if i truly love someone that doesn't ever change.

Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

yes and no. it's fairly easy to feel love (perhaps too easy if that's possible), but not always so easy to express it. i'd say i am guarded at first but open up quickly if there is mutual love.

 

[lost verses]

1. Define love in your own words.
It's an intangible force. It's created through a deep bond with someone. It's unconditional. It's something that you can't exactly decide on...it just is, whether you like it or not. It is both horrible and insanely wonderful at the same time.

2. What does love feel like for you?
(Read #1's answer).

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
Actions...someone doing everything they can to make sure we don't lose eachother. Someone placing great importance on our love...whether that be taking the time for it, or just assigning meaning to all the little things between us. To know the other person would never give up on our love.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
When needed...great acts of love. Saving the connection. If their belief in it is starting to fade, then I will try to remind them, by taking a huge risk being vulnerable...with words usually. But if it's when things are okay, then I can show it more calmly and happily. But always intensely devoted at the same time. It's a balance...either can appear depending on the circumstances.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
Truly, unconditional, would die for? Two.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
It depends on the circumstances. One person I knew since I was a young kid, and so it took more years because we weren't exactly closecloseclose. It was the longevity of knowing eachother that created the awareness of love. Another person, I only had to know them for 8 months or maybe even less to know I loved them.

7. What causes you to love someone?
I see myself in another person...I see who I am in my soul, in them...they represent a kind of truth...I have this otherworldly bond with them. Maybe it's through our take on humor, or maybe it's our take on the spirituality of the world, or maybe it's just our take on love. And when I realize, the worst thing they could ever do, I would still care for them anyway.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
Oh man, yes. The first time, we never actually got to be together. There was a massive amount of pain in the realization of never getting to know what we'd be like together. It felt like another string of the future was cut off from me. The other time, I actually had gotten to be with them for 8 months or so. It was not unrequited for that amount of time, not at all. All of the sudden though, it was as if history was erased and the only present I was left with was that my love was unrequited. There's even more despair in love that you can't have, when you already know what it's like to have - you know that it is that good, you can't trick your mind into saying, "oh, it wouldn't have been that great anyway," you can't lie to yourself because your memory has the proof of how good what you're missing is. But, both kinds of love unrequited are awful and painful.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
They are mostly very consistant, and unconditional. But, at the same time, the saying "there's a thin line between love and hate" is very true. So...yes, I always love them the same, but sometimes there can be another layer or dimension of hate added to my feelings for that person, depending on the circumstances. But it's not like that "hate" layer ever takes away the love layer, not at all.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
It depends. One person was very easy to love, instantly, and I didn't guard myself, nor had any reason to guard. It's not like I'm on the surface and obvious about it, but I'm of course aware that I love the person and don't go the denial route. The other person, I did go the denial route for a long time. I think the whole "hate is easier than love" comes into play sometimes. I had such strong feelings for this person that I chose to hate them instead of admit that I loved them...because if I admitted that, then I knew there'd be no going back, you know, 'once the floodgates have opened, you can never close them,'.

 

[angell_m]

EDITED: If I bumped this, I am sorry. I think I may have found this through the "Similar Threads" on the bottom of the page.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
Easy to idealize, difficult to express. Effusive interior, reserved exterior.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
Consistant.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
I guard myself. But when I first open up, I won't let go. I'm very attached. And I linger.

 

[PotatoPeeler68]

1. Define love in your own words.
Love is the feeling that you get when you are willing to give up everything for that person. You want to completely help them. If only if they let you...

2. What does love feel like for you?
I usually have several types of love. Love for that one special SO, and love for other friends/humankind. Love makes you feel happy, it makes you want to be around them, and tell your deepest fears to them. I myself want it so bad, and I have in a sense, so I shouldn't complain.

3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
Eeeee... I don't know. I guess I would love to have somebody talk to me, instead of me having to talk to them. (I'm male) I want to feel a closeness with someone whether its from them or from myself, it feels the same.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
It's hard to explain how I show love. Sometimes, during big emotional problems, I love to express my love to "her". But during times of happiness, I actually find it harder and find that I am more susceptible to teasing others, etc. So it's hard to express love in these circumstances. I never say it straight out loud, I always write it down, and my INFJ friend (female) seems to accept it

5. How many people do you TRULY love?
I feel love for several, but I can only TRULY love one person at a time. Right now, it's my INFJ friend, so yeah.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
This is what seems to happen. First, I have to get to know them over a LONG period of time, though not necessarily a lot of time "together", and then I need to have extreme disconnection with my former "true love". Because of the disconnection, I am able to move on and look forward. If I try to look for a new love, but I still often see my former, than it is nearly impossible to develop that true love.

7. What causes you to love someone?
I have to spend a reasonable amount of seeing them, even if we rarely talk. Other than that it doesn't matter. If they have interests and passions, I believe that is a big deal-maker. Usually after seeing how passionate about a hobby, etc. and how nice they are, I will fall in love with them.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
My entire life, meaning I was the one unrequiting loving. None of my people I like like me back, so I feel it is very good, and with my current INFJ friend, it seems that even though she does not like me back, I still receive some friendship love with her, and I think that is enough. I don't know... what I would like is at the start some unrequited love from my side, followed by her eventually developing feelings for me... thats what i think.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
They are NOT always consistent. I always in the back of my mind, have the knowledge, "Yes, I love her", but when something happens, and I am weak and impatient, I find myself starting to hate (mostly, just the situation) and then I go through an emotional turmoil thing, (which I actually LOVE) so much better than the "normality" of some relationships I see.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
I find it easy to love people. If they will accept it, I would give my love to everyone. But it needs to be deep, if it's going to go anywhere. I won't share my love extravertedly or anything, but if she is being open as well, I will eventually tell her how much she means to me.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

1. Define love in your own words.

Love is a feeling, surpassing any words or definitions I could muster. It's the most amazing, profound, painful, misunderstood feeling we experience.

2. What does love feel like for you?

Like my heart is burning and quietly fluttering inside my chest

3. How do you prefer to receive love?

Sincerely, that's what matters most to me. It helps to let me know why you love me or what you love about me, once I have that reassurance it's easier to accept it's not ridiculous for them to like me. :') The best way for me to receive love is showing me earnestly through words & actions essentially. And if you're a bit of a romantic that doesn't hurt

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

I'm both. Reserved first and foremost though. I'm so stupidly shy, I hold myself back a lot...inside I'm effusive. Sometimes I just wanna hug and take care of the ones I love in every way possible. Once you get past the reserved barrier and the feelings are mutual, I will start to show my affection with more intensity.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?

Romantically, none....But I love my friends dearly <3 oh & family too I guess

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

Depends on the person, but typically it will take some time for me to truly love someone, romantically that is. I get butterflies easily if I feel an attachment to you but I don't consider that love.

7. What causes you to love someone?

A feeling of safeness and closeness when I'm with them. Their sense of humor, their passions, etc. And I appreciate someone who's expressive. I'm withdrawn enough on my own so a person who is expressive definitely helps me become confident in expressing my own love without restraint. I'm also weird in that I fall in love with little quirks, or the way someone looks when they're watching tv, that's subjective depending on the person though.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

I don't think I've ever been in love before, so I'll say no

9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

Consistent, though sometimes I get sensitive/hurt if they start spending way less time with me in favor of someone else.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

I wouldn't say it's difficult, I'm very willing to love others and I tend to find something I like in a person even if I don't like them. I'm definitely guarded, but it doesn't take too long for me to open up if I feel I can trust you.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

1. Define love in your own words.

The only way the temporal can touch the eternal.

2. What does love feel like for you?

Pain and relief at the same time. So, a self-contained whole. Problem and solution.

3. How do you prefer to receive love?

Touch.

4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

Physical affection. I'm physically expressive and vocally very reserved.

5. How many people do you TRULY love?

Few.

6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

It happens immediately. Amidst denial at that.

7. What causes you to love someone?

It's difficult to explain.

8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

Yes. Conflicted possessiveness and intense self-hatred.

9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

I feel both for a person simultaneously.

10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

Yes, yes, and no.