User Tag List

First 123412 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 142

  1. #11
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I just broke out in hives.
    I just scratched my arm for you (because I care).
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #12
    Senior Member Alienclock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    118

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Define "care."
    Would it bother you if some one felt "sad", and if does how much would you let it effect you? At what point would you give up your own happiness for another?

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Is this measureable?
    I guess I am measuring how much I care about how someone else feels as compared to how much I care how I feel.

    If some one is unhappy for whatever reason, do you let their unhappiness bring you down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasz View Post
    i care how others feel about me
    i am a little immature in that sense, need validation and am sensitive when people close to me criticize me (though i can be quite critical myself, especially to those close to me)
    i really want to do well in the eyes of those close to me
    Where do you draw the line? What price are you willing to pay for that validation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shimpei View Post
    1. You can control how others feel to some, or even to a great extent. It's all psychology. And I think everyone should care a lot how others feel.
    When does minding others feelings cross the line over into manipulation? Or maybe I should ask does minding others feelings ever cross into manipulating them?
    2. It's not always right when you let others feel good about themselves.
    Why? What would be the purpose of stopping someone from feeling good about their self?

  3. #13
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    How much do you care how others feel?
    I like it when people feel good or at least neutral. How much effort I will go to in order to help make that happen depends on several factors, not the least of which is how much I care about the particular person in question.

    In light of the idea that you can't control how others feel, how much should you really care?
    I have a vested interest in the feelings of others because it's very hard not feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them. I can choose to block the feelings and sometimes do to survive, but I don't really like to do that. I don't know how much I should care, but I suppose I care a little more than I should.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #14
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alienclock View Post
    Would it bother you if some one felt "sad", and if does how much would you let it effect you?
    All right.

    Yes, I'm bothered if someone I know is upset (and sometimes even people I do not know)... but I usually don't interfere with strangers unless it's appropriate and the person seems very badly disturbed. As far as friends go, I would definitely ask them what was up and listen to them, and help them how I could... but usually the minimal amount to alleviate the sorrow... if they wanted to be helped.

    (See, just because someone is sad doesn't mean they want to feel better right then... nor should necessarily. Sometimes people want or need to sit in the 'sad' state.)

    At what point would you give up your own happiness for another?
    Not sure. i suppose I have done that already in life with my family, since I'm still wrestling with "where do I draw the line?" between them and me. I honor commitments and do not want to hurt people; at the same time, sacrificing my own emotional needs so that others feel good eventually wears thin and kills me. I just did not recognize what my own emotional needs were for a very long time.

    In any case, my answer to this would be context-sensitive.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #15
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I have a vested interest in the feelings of others because it's very hard not feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them.
    for me it's impossible to feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them

    except when it involves death of a loved one

    i really internalise that

  6. #16
    Senior Member Alienclock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    118

    Default

    For people who don't respect my wish that they be blissfully happy, and instead indulge in all sorts of un smiling behavior, I withdraw all the caring I have about how they feel. If they cared how I feel, they would be happy, so why should I care about how they feel... sorta kidding, sorta not... Thats my take on it...

    I totally feel emotionally moved by unhappy people, which is why I think they should be sorta... eliminated...

  7. #17
    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    1,698

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I have a vested interest in the feelings of others because it's very hard not feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them.
    I do that sometimes...but I tend to be somewhat disassociated from all my feelings, so it doesn't alter my decisions. And I tend to hide it, I suppose.
    We are not poets
    We have no right to make amendments

  8. #18
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cut the grass View Post
    for me it's impossible to feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them

    except when it involves death of a loved one
    I would ideally be somewhere between your Fe and my own.

    As you get older and your Fe begins to further develop that may alter for you a bit or maybe when you have children. Or maybe not.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #19
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I have a vested interest in the feelings of others because it's very hard not feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them. I can choose to block the feelings and sometimes do to survive, but I don't really like to do that. I don't know how much I should care, but I suppose I care a little more than I should.
    Hmmm.

    Well, I will say, in light of the last month of "crap" going on at INTPc, I was feeling pretty horrible... not just from the constant bickering, but because I also care about maintaining the relationships. So I could empathize even with the people I disagreed with, and couldn't just "cut them off" in my head and separate myself. There is a blending and sense of connection there, so arguing with them was like tearing myself apart in a sense.

    An impersonal argument is fine, it's just a discussion... but that whole thing felt very personal. And I couldn't shut the "feelings off."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #20
    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    1,698

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Hmmm.

    Well, I will say, in light of the last month of "crap" going on at INTPc, I was feeling pretty horrible... not just from the constant bickering, but because I also care about maintaining the relationships. So I could empathize even with the people I disagreed with, and couldn't just "cut them off" in my head and separate myself. There is a blending and sense of connection there, so arguing with them was like tearing myself apart in a sense.

    An impersonal argument is fine, it's just a discussion... but that whole thing felt very personal. And I couldn't shut the "feelings off."
    I had somewhat of the same impression-but, I can usually isolate the feelings even if I can't stop them.

    If that makes sense. And there are a few things that can break the isolation.
    We are not poets
    We have no right to make amendments

Similar Threads

  1. Do you wonder how others perceive you?
    By fidelia in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 84
    Last Post: 01-27-2010, 02:08 PM
  2. [ENTJ] ENTJs- how do you think about other types?
    By Tamske in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-18-2009, 03:01 AM
  3. Replies: 44
    Last Post: 06-04-2009, 05:56 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO