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Thread: Do you care how others feel?
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04-26-2007, 02:33 PM #11"Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
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04-26-2007, 02:34 PM #12
Would it bother you if some one felt "sad", and if does how much would you let it effect you? At what point would you give up your own happiness for another?
I guess I am measuring how much I care about how someone else feels as compared to how much I care how I feel.
If some one is unhappy for whatever reason, do you let their unhappiness bring you down?
Where do you draw the line? What price are you willing to pay for that validation?
When does minding others feelings cross the line over into manipulation? Or maybe I should ask does minding others feelings ever cross into manipulating them?
2. It's not always right when you let others feel good about themselves.
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04-26-2007, 02:40 PM #13
How much do you care how others feel?
I like it when people feel good or at least neutral. How much effort I will go to in order to help make that happen depends on several factors, not the least of which is how much I care about the particular person in question.
In light of the idea that you can't control how others feel, how much should you really care?
I have a vested interest in the feelings of others because it's very hard not feel other people's feelings as my own when I am interacting with or observing them. I can choose to block the feelings and sometimes do to survive, but I don't really like to do that. I don't know how much I should care, but I suppose I care a little more than I should.“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
~ John Rogers
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04-26-2007, 02:43 PM #14
All right.
Yes, I'm bothered if someone I know is upset (and sometimes even people I do not know)... but I usually don't interfere with strangers unless it's appropriate and the person seems very badly disturbed. As far as friends go, I would definitely ask them what was up and listen to them, and help them how I could... but usually the minimal amount to alleviate the sorrow... if they wanted to be helped.
(See, just because someone is sad doesn't mean they want to feel better right then... nor should necessarily. Sometimes people want or need to sit in the 'sad' state.)
At what point would you give up your own happiness for another?
In any case, my answer to this would be context-sensitive."Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
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04-26-2007, 02:48 PM #15
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04-26-2007, 02:51 PM #16
For people who don't respect my wish that they be blissfully happy, and instead indulge in all sorts of un smiling behavior, I withdraw all the caring I have about how they feel. If they cared how I feel, they would be happy, so why should I care about how they feel... sorta kidding, sorta not... Thats my take on it...
I totally feel emotionally moved by unhappy people, which is why I think they should be sorta... eliminated...
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04-26-2007, 02:53 PM #17
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04-26-2007, 02:53 PM #18“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
~ John Rogers
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04-26-2007, 02:57 PM #19
Hmmm.
Well, I will say, in light of the last month of "crap" going on at INTPc, I was feeling pretty horrible... not just from the constant bickering, but because I also care about maintaining the relationships. So I could empathize even with the people I disagreed with, and couldn't just "cut them off" in my head and separate myself. There is a blending and sense of connection there, so arguing with them was like tearing myself apart in a sense.
An impersonal argument is fine, it's just a discussion... but that whole thing felt very personal. And I couldn't shut the "feelings off.""Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
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04-26-2007, 03:00 PM #20
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