I'm no INFP, but I'd say your girl never really discovered or realized that other types, such as yourself, don't see things the way she does naturally. Of course those things are obvious at the surface, but it doesn't occur to her that you have a different way of viewing the world and approaching stuff. Also, she's a Fi-dom and you're tertiary Fi..I'd say she's trying to educate you on it and doesn't realize that although it is possible to learn from her, you'll never be Fi-dom. Your strengths, which seem to be forgotten in all this, are elsewhere. Don't feel bad about this, it's not that you're inadequate, it's just that she hasn't taken enough of a distance from her Fi to see past it.
On the other hand, I dunno the context of this 'hypocrisy', but is there something that happened in the past that made her paranoid about your logs online? Does she have a good reason to demand this? She seems to be hurt or have lost faith there somehow. Could be from her past or anything.(you don't have to answer this, I'm just trying to make you check if there's a reason for her fear). If it has nothing to do with you, then try gently making it clear that you understand that she's fearful about this, but that you haven't done anything to betray her trust yet and would never dream of doing so. That you understand her need for security but would also like there to be an equal balance in the relationship where hiding things and distrusting each other have no place.
And yes, Fi-users, especially Fi-doms spend a great deal of time perfecting their ethics and morals. So they're touchy about it. It would be like telling you you're incompetent in at your job, or how you handle things. They are usually very aware of their own flaws and try desperately to sort them out or at least cover them up for the world. You touching upon that...sorta proves that they failed and reconfirms that others see that as a flaw to. On the other hand, those things are debatable as long as you make clear within that same sentence that hey....you might have this flaw but in fact it's what makes you unique, and I love you regardless. It just poses a problem in this area. I don't judge you over this, I just want this to be taken care of. Just think about it. And then walk away. Give them time to digest, and act as if everything is normal till they are ready to give you an answer.
Last note: don't feel as if you're to blame about this. You're putting in more than your share of effort, and are going tru great lengths to understand her, something she might not be able to see or be aware of and something that might benefit her to do the same for you, so you can grow together. Even Fi-users can learn how to meet in the middle on these things, you just have to get them to take a step back and see the bigger picture so they can readjust their views and values accordingly without feeling like they have to corrupt them.
