[Se] Playing Hard To Get

[Phantonym]

Initially, when things are just taking off, playing hard to get is a turn on. Keep it playful and the game is on. When it's in moderation, it helps to keep things interesting but when the game lasts for too long, it gets frustrating and boring very fast.

It may appear that I play hard to get. I keep guys at arms length for a while if I've never thought of them in a romantic sense before or they are generally flirtatious.

+1

I don't play hard to get. I am hard to get. When things are serious, there are no games involved. Not from my part and I expect that from others as well.

 

[violaine]

I don't play hard to get. I am hard to get. When things are serious, there are no games involved. Not from my part and I expect that from others as well.

Nicely put. It's not that I think so highly of myself, rather if I'm not really into a person then I'd rather be on my own or find someone better suited. Takes me some time to know that. I don't ever let myself be rushed when someone comes on like a bulldozer.

I guess the OP is talking about deliberately playing hard to get which I think can be highly successful if your intention is to snare someone who is interested in you. Usual disclaimers though - very fine line to walk, has to be temporary and tailored, better be able to read your target well, probably works better if there is no competition. I don't think people really know or would be turned-off enough in the beginning if you are being elusive if they like you, from what I have observed. There always seem to be a few chances to win someone back. And if you are good looking/charming I think the odds are in your favor.

I don't mind if things start slowly but I draw the line at someone playing me off against other women in the beginning.

The obvious danger in playing games from my POV is that if someone is easily manipulated you may lose respect for them.

 

[Oberon]

I have no interest in mind games or those who play them. Back when I was dating, if a person played hard to get, I became impossible to get.

 

[lillyofthevalley]

I definitely have played hard to get. It works. It's my experience that men like a bit of a challange and I haven't had any that didn't call back after the first date.

 

[Clover]

Total turn off! I take it as a signal of "not interested," and go into being friends mode, end of story.

Ppeople often think I am playing this kind of game with them when I really just don't like them. :steam:

 

[CzeCze]

Playing hard to get, whether intentional or not, is not cute. I'm too old for this and my Ne has enough other things piquing my interest to pursue.

 

[Charmed Justice]

This registers as a head game, which I detest. If I have interest in a person, and they know it, and they have interest in me, and I know it, and then all of a sudden they start playing hard to get bullshit games, I am so fu&*ing gone it's not funny. See ya'! Enjoy your hard to get bullshit by yourself. Next. Not a good game to play with the strongly extroverted.

I've played many a hard to get game with male extroverts. And frankly, they were quite fun for all involved. And the relationships, if it ever came to that, went just fine. Granted, I was under the age of 21. If I were available, I'd never do it at my age.

 

[lillyofthevalley]

Games are played from both sides. It's a fact of life. I played hard to get (and this is apparently a term that has different meaning by different people here) because it affords the opportunity for me to figure out if the guy is just a player or if he actually has substance, and it gives him more time to get to know me better before we get into any serious dating. So many guys are mostly focused on their attraction, getting to really know a girl is secondary. Men have their games also.

In Grease, if Olivia had given in to John early on, John would have lost interest and would have moved on to the next girl, playing his games to get her. Olivia was smart, she had enough respect for herself to know she wasn't going to give herself away to just any cute guy with good 'moves.'

 

[Unique]

It makes me unhappy, games in general do

I've experimented and most girls respond well to it but it doesn't come as a natural thing to do for me and I find it draining

 

[Queen Kat]

People always think that I'm playing hard to get, but the thing is that I'm really almost never interested. It's so annoying when people don't get that.

 

[jtanSis1]

Reminds me more of a chase than of romance. I just move on if it's not there than try to create it. When others try to play, it just annoys me. If they want you, they should let you know, even obviously if necessary, so no mixed signals. It makes me think it's an animal reflex when it's light flirting and not serious. Being hard to get sounds more like a mating ritual than love, so no I don't try it. If others think that I'm doing it they should ask and find out if I'm interested or not, and not playing around. It works for others because it's light tension, a way to keep the flirting, courting, and excitement going, but eventually it stops, and if that's all someone knows they move on to try it on someone else. The point of playing hard to get is to get someone so interested that they capture you. But since when does anyone want to be captured?