[Jungian Cognitive Functions] INFJ childhood

[brainheart]

According to this: Portrait of an INJ Child INFJ and INTJ children develop similarly while still sorting out the Fe/Te/Fi/Ti thing.

Yeah, I read this article a couple of weeks ago and it's what made me decide I was an INFJ instead of an INTP or an INFP. It nailed how I was as a child (and am still) perfectly.

And yes, as far as the T or F thing, I'm wondering if other INFJs often test T, as I do. I think the way the questions in the MBTI tests are worded throws me, because acquiring knowledge is a priority of mine, while what they primarily consider as F, well, it kind of makes me want to puke. It seems so cheesy and schmaltzy, like a greeting card, when I am so not like that. But I am an F... inside. I have a seriously hard shell. I am the epitome of a Cancerian.

My childhood: Also from a T-heavy family. Well, it was like this: my ISTJ dad refused to listen to us if we began a statement with, "I feel..." My ENFP mom understood a bit more, though, but I had a sort of hero worship of my NT brothers. They were willing to explore topics in a way that I was, which I loved, and I also envied how calm and cool they usually seemed to be. So I emulated, keeping the more feeling side of me secret, only viewed by my journal and my pets. I didn't feel like I could relate to most of my peers as a child. I had one best friend who was equally geeky, but then I moved at the age of 8 and that was the end of that.

I had an ideal high school experience, oddly enough. I went to an all-girls school and was in all Honors classes, so I was surrounded by like-minded people. It was amazing how social I suddenly became, how it was almost effortless with those I felt I had a connection to. Not that there weren't ever problems, but I think it kind of surprised me that after years of social awkwardness I could suddenly be skilled.

I found out at my high school reunion that some people who weren't in my 'group' in high school had tremendous respect for me and liked me. It always surprises me when people have high opinions of me. (I know this is the case because my husband is always telling me how everyone thinks I'm the coolest.) I wonder what they see that I seem to be missing...

 

[Jaded Idealist]

Well-developed INFJs are usually not obvious Fs, to my understanding, at least not in the randomly-bawl-your-eyes-out, always-going-with-my-gut sort of way. We're cautious, channeling the feeling aspect into meaningful actions in line with our values. But nobody except us sees the absolutely furious tempest of unhinged emotion within.

 

[A Schnitzel]

Well-developed INFJs are usually not obvious Fs, to my understanding, at least not in the randomly-bawl-your-eyes-out, always-going-with-my-gut sort of way. We're cautious, channeling the feeling aspect into meaningful actions in line with our values. But nobody except us sees the absolutely furious tempest of unhinged emotion within.

*shudders while backing away slowly*

 

[ReadingRainbows]

Well-developed INFJs are usually not obvious Fs, to my understanding, at least not in the randomly-bawl-your-eyes-out, always-going-with-my-gut sort of way. We're cautious, channeling the feeling aspect into meaningful actions in line with our values. But nobody except us sees the absolutely furious tempest of unhinged emotion within.

Possibly!!! sometimes I can't keep a lid on that emotion and it spills out :/

 

[Penda]

This was an interesting thread to read.

I grew up in a fairly traditional household, neighborhood, and school system, none of which provided any sort of support for INFJ-like behaviors. Even though music and writing have always been my passions, the arts were definitely not encouraged and it was expected that I would pursue a suit-and-tie sort of occupation, which thus affected my choice of college degree. Sensitivity of any sort was also not encouraged, and therefore I felt that I was expected to be an unemotional rock of stability. I guess my response was to try to become an ENTP, which has been very unsuccessful and has led to a lot of unhappiness. Finding out about typology was sort of a godsend for me because I felt that maybe I could finally be who I really am instead of trying to be someone else like I did as a child. It has not been an easy path though. I think that notwithstanding certain loving households where the INFJ's gifts are fostered, being an INFJ is generally pretty brutal growing up.

 

[rushig]

I would like to add one thing about the quote 'I always knew my written communication was above par, but I thought my verbal was severely lacking.'
I also have to agree with this. I was a journalist for over a year and did fairly well with the interactions. however i felt the need to step back and boot my self after prolonged socialising and often to verbally express my self required alot of energy. but when it came to writing the piece it came like a breeze...

Not in media anymore. realised i'm too sensitive for that!

 

[hokie912]

This thread is so interesting! It's funny how writing a post forces you to think about and contextualize your early experiences.

My family situation was actually much more positive than it might have been. My father was arrested on drug charges when I was three, and my mom, my little brother and I lived with my grandmother. She and my mother were wonderful positive influences and fairly expressive people, so I didn't experience the emotional stifling that some have mentioned feeling here. I always felt supported and that my accomplishments were valued. When I was in fourth grade, my father got out of prison and he and my mom (unwisely) got back together. He struggled with drug addiction throughout the rest of my childhood and adolescence, which created a lot of financial and emotional turmoil in my family. I had to lie to friends and people I was close to in order to protect the family. In retrospect, I think I might have turned out very differently (and probably for the worse) if my dad had been involved in my life during those early years.

My childhood was characterized by imagination. I can't remember whether it was because the other kids didn't like me or because I was shy at the time, but I remember spending a number of recesses in kindergarten on my own making up stories and songs. I had a core group of friends (mostly boys) by the time I was in third grade, and I was more or less the leader in this game we played every recess where we were aboard a ship and came up against all sorts of enemies and other dangers. I also loved writing stories and poetry, and to this day I kind of regret that the passion I once had for that has dissipated. I think I was much more emotionally expressive and less self-aware/self-conscious when I was a child than I am now.

In terms of academics, I was confident, picked up things quickly, and was very inquisitive. I hated rote memorization tasks (times tables were a chore), but really enjoyed anything where I could take an idea and expand on it or otherwise work it out for myself. I liked every subject but math, and particularly loved science and English classes. But I was also hopelessly disorganized and, honestly, sort of lazy. I had periods where I got in trouble for not turning in assignments. By the time I was in high school, I had a much more consistent work ethic, fortunately.

 

[cfs1992]

I can say that I was an aloof child, and I entertained myself with my imagination. Always. I wasn't interested in toys. I was an early reader, so I read all the time, at home, at school... I had few friends. I think I'm a little more sociable today because of the development of my Fe. I loved my lonely childhood, and I'm always remembering it...

 

[whatusername]

I think I wasn't an INFJ when I was a kid. Yeah, I loved reading more than the average kid, but I also spent a large chunk of my childhood playing outside with other children, even initiating games myself.

I think something happened during adolescence that changed my type, though I can't pinpoint exactly what it is. My parents called it "becoming independent," but I began withdrawing from others. I always then felt the need to "recharge" after hanging out with a large group of people.

I think, I was more of an ENFJ when I was a kid, it was the I that appeared when I grew older.