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[NF] N Deprivation

Rachelinpa

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Aug 4, 2008
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878
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I'm deprived of Ns. I crave the connection. Always scanning the environment for it. Where are you connection? WHERE ARE YOU?!

Other NFs, assuming you desire this as well, what do you find are your best connection questions? Do you throw them out there immediately or do you weed and wade through the superficial first? How does this work for you?
 

Wiley45

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I'm not sure what my best connection questions are. I just kind of know if someone's going to be interesting to talk to based on the things that they light up about.

Kind of a weird suggestion, but check out some local coffee shops, because I always meet N's there. I'm not trying to stereotype, but I think it does provide a good environment for discussing N sorts of things.
 

Strawberrylover

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I don't actively try to weed through people to find Ns. You just know when you click and when you don't.

Ns are often working in the arts and communications fields, working with ideas and abstract concepts. They get metaphors and they like morbid jokes.

Sometimes I can go to a new city and immediately just KNOW if I'm in an N-rich place where NFs and NTs have had a hand in how that city developed. I've also gone to places where it was created by S people, that allowed no place for imagination and abstract, theoretical thought. I just know that living in those places would be a slow death.

You're an ENFP like me with NE-dom. Use it! :)
 

Lightyear

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I'm not sure what my best connection questions are. I just kind of know if someone's going to be interesting to talk to based on the things that they light up about.

Same here. If they get me being slightly off-the-wall and quirky and I can banter with them they are most likely Ns.
 

sculpting

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the city i live in seems a bit higher in Ns than the avarage. Lots of quirky shops and fun stuff. The roads appear to have been designed by highly creative people. That is bad.

Totally get the N deprivation though. When I spend time with some family members it is like someone has attached a giant vacuum to my school, sucked out my brains and left a useless husk behind.

I made many driving trips with my entp best friend from michigan to texas. Always fine. Then once my ISTP mom in law drove with me instead. I wanted to intentionally crash the car after the first two hours. STOP TALKING TO ME!!!!!
 

the state i am in

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i usually say ridiculous shit and see how someone takes it. it's like sonar. if they can follow your leaps, they're probably N.

we get there different ways, but we can reconstruct pretty much anything. find an angle that makes sense. we get off on not showing our work but getting the right answer anyway.

i think cultural interpretations are a good litmus test. we tend to loooooove the angles and the specific frame and the specific placement other N types use to form their opinions within their larger framework of ideas and meanings.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
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I'm malnurished too. I can only talk about the weather and my job and TV so much...


Hey: I know how to meet some N's!

Take a book to a bar and sit and read. Someone will ask you what your reading, and they will likely be N.

Or buy a teeshirt that says ENFP.
 

Strawberrylover

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I made many driving trips with my entp best friend from michigan to texas. Always fine. Then once my ISTP mom in law drove with me instead. I wanted to intentionally crash the car after the first two hours. STOP TALKING TO ME!!!!!

I have some awesome S-type friends, but I've also had some awful experiences with past boyfriends' S-type families. Gawd. They'd start talking about discounts and coupons and stuff at the dinner table and the new snacks on sale at the local CVS and my eyes would just glaze over and roll back with boredom.

I think I'd have to marry into an N-dom family or else an S-type one that's N-sensitive. I don't think I can take a lifetime of talking about coupons.
 

the state i am in

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Take a book to a bar and sit and read. Someone will ask you what your reading, and they will likely be N.

Or buy a teeshirt that says ENFP.

i ALWAYS check out the title when i see someone reading a book in a public place. it is the only surefire way i will start up a conversation with a random stranger.

the other day i saw a girl i have seen around a lot reading still life with woodpecker by tom robbins. i just smiled to myself and was all like, i kneeeeeww it!

also, t-shirt idea = yes. i used to stop to talk to people wearing shirts with a phish logo. now iNtuition is my new religion.
 

Stanton Moore

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^^^^

Sometimes you can just tell....

I'm thinking of making an INFP tee too!
 

Clonester

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I'm also lacking N's in my closest circle of friends/family. Especially NF's. It makes me appreciate when I am able to have a good conversation with a fellow N.

It's not so bad as long as the S's I know appreciate at least one of these: wit, sarcasm, randomness, and/or the abstract. Most do, at least one of these. A few of my friends don't get any of these. So I'll say something witty, or sarcastic, or random, or abstract, and they wont get it. Then I'm like:

facepalm.jpg


Then I complain to my close ESTJ friend who himself is neither witty, sarcastic, random, or abstract. Let's just say he is not sympathetic to my N-plight. Not that he is ever very sympathetic...
 

TopherRed

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Holy crap! Facepalm! That whole thing is just perfect beyond words. :yes:
 

TopherRed

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I grew up in an environment completely 'N' deprived...my family is almost completely 'S' and the 'N's are all 'NT's (except me) who got out or stayed as far away as they could from the SJ dominated households.

The first 'NF' I ever knew personally was a girl I became friends with out of college. I fell in love with her (INFJ), but it wasn't so much because of her, but because she understood me like nobody had ever before. As a person, she wasn't exactly what I was looking for, and neither was I to her, so nothing came out of it.

Now, I look for "N" in all it's forms, but I don't think I have more than one or two friends with an "N" bias. It is SOOO refresing to be around these people; like aloe balm on my wrinked S(un) beaten soul.

I want to open up a coffee house someday, with music, academic, religious, philisophical and inspirational speakers. Art exibits will bring in SPs as well as the NFs, but that's okay. I'll even throw in a rock wall for the SJs. I don't mind co-habiting with these people, I just want more "N"s in my life. :)
 

sculpting

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I'm malnurished too. I can only talk about the weather and my job and TV so much...


Hey: I know how to meet some N's!

Take a book to a bar and sit and read. Someone will ask you what your reading, and they will likely be N.

Or buy a teeshirt that says ENFP.

I actually met a guy in LA at a bar who was reading a sci fi book. He was a really fun INTP. We spent all night pestering him and chatting, and asking him random ass questions. somewhet to the dismay of my estp who wanted to pick up boys. He was a cool biochemist from the Netherlands.
 

the state i am in

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i think it's also good to mention in this thread that in my own life N deprivation has been by far the single greatest problem an challenge i have faced. when i am around other N types, i can be myself in a way that i can't with S types. i feel like talking and participating. i don't get so tired trying to translate and deciding it's just not worth it.

i wish i could start a campaign for N kids that would tell them, don't worry, it will get better. play your cards right and eventually you will meet some iNtuitives w/ whom you will actually be able to communicate.

it's no surprise that right now i'm more surrounded by Ns than i've ever been and, as a result, i'm the healthiest i've ever been.
 

Clonester

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i think it's also good to mention in this thread that in my own life N deprivation has been by far the single greatest problem an challenge i have faced. when i am around other N types, i can be myself in a way that i can't with S types. i feel like talking and participating. i don't get so tired trying to translate and deciding it's just not worth it.

YES! I think this sums up what a lot of us N's think.
 

Cimarron

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Luckily, you have this forum. :smile:
 

Wiley45

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I know quite a few SP's who fit into this same category of enjoying quirkiness, off the wall humor, bantering, reading in public places, etc. It's not just N's who do these things.

I think rather than looking specifically for N's, it might be the best idea to look for people with whom you feel a connection.
 

the state i am in

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I think rather than looking specifically for N's, it might be the best idea to look for people with whom you feel a connection.

obviously people are already looking for a connection.

discussing the N factor is useful bc it helps pinpoint a specific quality of perception that explains how and why you find this connection with others. it's' a conceptual tool to understand what is going on and why it, at times, does not work.

at the same time, recognizing these qualities through MB, it's way fucking easier for me to enjoy the S people in my life. they are not the same type of relationship as N types and all my close friends are N, but i enjoy my S friends when i see them, have a better understanding of our way of bantering and the ways in which we will never see eye to eye (which makes it easier to accept differences and appreciate people for what they do offer).
 
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