[MBTI General] INFJs Attempting to Understand ENTPs Behavior

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

ummmm, infjs are often a very open bunch... i'm sure you could find some switch-hitters?

*donning the glove*

 

[jenocyde]

we are obviously not meeting in the middle very well.

...

communication is important to us so that we can merge our perceptions.

Communication is integral to me. I am on a constant path of learning and growth. It makes me so happy to get to know a person and they way they think. When someone seems interested in my own thought process, I am also overjoyed. You asked me why I thought a certain way and I was so pleased that I took the time to write you a response. You bristled at some things and rather than ask for further clarification, you decided to tell me who I am, what I am feeling and who I need to be with.

And that's fine. You are more than entitled to feel whatever you need to feel.

 

[the state i am in]

i didn't bristle at anything you said, nor did i take anything you said personally. it was a learning experience. i am trying to explain how i perceive the infj perspective in these scenarios we have created. i think i have learned something in the process. i'm not on the attack at all, i am just trying to understand how these perspectives fit together just as you are trying to do.

i enjoy talking to you and reading your posts. i may feel entitled, at times, to offer explanations of things in ways you disagree with, but i am grateful for the interaction, the feedback, and the disagreements that show me i am off-base and inaccurate.

like Fe users, i try to interpret and anticipate how you feel and tailor my responses toward you to promote harmony and direct events. i like to articulate/communicate to test the waters to see if i am on the right track. this is my perspective when you say i am trying to tell you who you are, what you should do, etc. i may have overstepped my bounds, but it is not an attempt to be controlling so much as it is trying to get a reading on the situation and share understanding.

 

[Halla74]

Overdeveloped NF can be overbearing, to an ESTP anyway.
I imagine it might be the same to an ENTP...

If I have to listen about the terrible things that could have been because of something that didn't feel right then I will go fooking bonkers in no time at all.

Other than that I loooove INFJs. They truly are one of the few types of people that I have met that are of a sincerely sweet and kind disposition.

They are really fun to corrupt and freak out too.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Communication is integral to me. I am on a constant path of learning and growth. It makes me so happy to get to know a person and they way they think. When someone seems interested in my own thought process, I am also overjoyed.

+1000. I live for this. I agree with state in that this is what makes the ENTP-INFJ work; the exchange of ideas. A person has to excite me on that level to really draw me in.

They are really fun to corrupt and freak out too.

You can't corrupt the corrupted

 

[jenocyde]

like Fe users, i try to interpret and anticipate how you feel and tailor my responses toward you to promote harmony and direct events. i like to articulate/communicate to test the waters to see if i am on the right track. this is my perspective when you say i am trying to tell you who you are, what you should do, etc. i may have overstepped my bounds, but it is not an attempt to be controlling so much as it is trying to get a reading on the situation and share understanding.

Fair enough, thanks for the clarification. Regarding the bolded part, if you ask me how I'm feeling, I'll tell you. It's really that simple.

See, this is my reluctance in dating an NF. I can deal with this sort of interaction casually, but not romantically. I have faith, though, that all NFs are not like this, just as all NTs aren't arrogant pricks. I know that relationships are always work, but there is some comfort in being understood as well. But if you can make it work with an INTJ, then anyone can make anything work.

 

[Halla74]

You can't corrupt the corrupted

Haaaa! Touche to you, Ms. Lauren Ashley! She who has successfully quoted my historical responses as "...noise..."



Are you sure you're an INFJ?

Come on now, be honest...

 

[jenocyde]

Haaaa! Touche to you, Ms. Lauren Ashley! She who has successfully quoted my historical responses as "...noise..."



Are you sure you're an INFJ?

Come on now, be honest...

I've asked her the same thing!

 

[Halla74]

I've asked her the same thing!

B-U-S-T-E-D!!!!

Sounds like a closet E_TP has been identified...

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Haaaa! Touche to you, Ms. Lauren Ashley! She who has successfully quoted my historical responses as "...noise..."

Is that not what they were? Oh, sorry

Are you sure you're an INFJ?

Come on now, be honest...

Yes, strong preferences. I usually score a little lower on F but it feels like I have plenty of it, I just don't tend to use it in discussions. Why, what type do I seem like?

I've asked her the same thing!

Seems like everyone's an expert on my type today

 

[the state i am in]

See, this is my reluctance in dating an NF. I can deal with this sort of interaction casually, but not romantically. I have faith, though, that all NFs are not like this, just as all NTs aren't arrogant pricks.

but why, jenocyde, would anyone put up with analogies like this?

you draw a conclusion based on our interaction that i am a certain way, and then you go on to say that you still have "faith" that other nfs "are not like this," comparing me with a "just as" link to nts who are arrogant pricks. and you act as if i am the one insulting you.

But if you can make it work with an INTJ, then anyone can make anything work.

great deduction/assumption.

 

[jenocyde]

Seems like everyone's an expert on my type today

Hey, I asked. I didn't declare.

but why, jenocyde, would anyone put up with analogies like this?

you draw a conclusion based on our interaction that i am a certain way, and then you go on to say that you still have "faith" that other nfs "are not like this," comparing me with a "just as" link to nts who are arrogant pricks. and you act as if i am the one insulting you.

I did not draw a conclusion, I made it clear that I have only based my impressions on the actual real experiences that I have had. I also said that I have faith that these experiences are not indicative of an entire type. I have also exalted INFJs many times, in many ways - even in this thread. I never insulted you, and you would know if I did. I never once claimed that you insulted me. If you were insulted, however, I apologize.

In the interest of harmony, I am going to back out of this conversation because it seems like I can do nothing right today. I blame myself for not being as clear as I could have been. I'm sure you are a wonderful person and I am just not working hard enough to be understood. I'll try harder next time. Until then, have a great day.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Hey, I asked. I didn't declare.

Not you. You actually know a little about me, so if you've questioned my type, that's fair. I was alluding to our Socionics expert in the other thread.

 

[jenocyde]

Not you. You actually know a little about me, so if you've questioned my type, that's fair. I was alluding to our Socionics expert in the other thread.

I know. Which is why I said that I at least asked. That dude... my goodness! The presumptuous nature of some people drive me insane.

 

[Winds of Thor]

1. What upsets them and what are the symptoms? What is the best course of action for the offender to take when they are upset?

The only thing that might upset me is if someone outsmarts me and uses it against me...undermines me. Apologize and say clearly that you didn't know that would upset them and reassure them you won't do it again...that you care and know not to now.

2. How would you best get close to one? Do they have a system of gates or layers like INFJs or is it a different security system altogether?

Just be yourself...ask lots of questions and let the ENTP talk. You might need to steer them on subject tho...We can be all over the place on topics..making so many connections to so many things.

Our security system has to do with carefully evaluating someone before engaging. Then really, it all depends on whether or not we get undermined. (Which usually doesn't happen)...so no worries. But if it does happen, lookout! I don't see INFJs doing that ...Don't worry at all about it if you're an INFJ. But now that you know, you're all set!

3. What makes them happiest?

Lots of love.

4. What do they value most in a friend?

Loyalty, closeness. Common, deep respect being able to discuss topics in depth and consistent willingness to do so.

 

[Synarch]

synarch, i am guessing you are an enneagram 4?

7w6/7w8

entps and infjs love discourse. infjs are more de-personal than most expect (at least supercharged Ti infj e5 are). we both connect on the level of ideas. our creativity comes from our ability to arrange and assemble and synthesize new ideas- we are exploratory and experimental because ideas come first. we express ideas and articulate ideas and this space is home to us. it provides a different type of artistry than other types who express their judgments and values first and foremost. our expressiveness and desire to fashion ourselves is less rooted in what we identify with and more in our ability to take multiple positions, to change/evolve, to synthesize into new and brilliant incarnations of thought.

I've never found INFJ's to be too emotional. I think Feeling preference is honestly misunderstood. In fact, I was listening to an audiobook on Jung today and they described F preference more as evaluative-function, is something agreeable or disagreeable. Thinking function is more like "what is this?".

In this thread, for example, Jenocyde has seemed more angry and/or defensive (not criticizing you, Jeno), but would we consider this being Feely? INFJ's are often very in control of their "emotions", which makes them seem less what we often mischaracterize as Feeling.

But in this thread, I identify with a lot of what Synarch has said and less of what Jenocyde has said.

I am attracted to male INFJs (not more than other types, but they're in the bundle), and I don't think they're wimpy.

Thanks!

INFJ males are not wimpy. I just think ENTP females may be less likely to appreciate them. INFJ males are less in your face, which we seem to appreciate in males. My INFJ male friends are very stoic and masculine. They just don't feel the need to assert it consciously.

They are really fun to corrupt and freak out too.

You can't corrupt the corrupted

I was going to say. It's possible Halla74 is the one being corrupted.

 

[Fidelia]

Sorry INFJ men. What I meant by wimpy was that an ENTP female would come off as being more abrupt and outspoken and an INFJ man may be less likely to call her on things which she might expect and look for. If he didn't, she might interpret it as him not having what it takes to be an equal with her, even if that is not true. It's more about perception rather than truth and I don't mean INFJ men are effeminate or without strength or resolve.

 

[Halla74]

I was going to say. It's possible Halla74 is the one being corrupted.

I am the poster child of "corruption." But if I must be corrupted further by INFJs, so be it; that is my lot in life...

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I am the poster child of "corruption." But if I must be corrupted further by INFJs, so be it; that is my lot in life...

Oh, you poor dear. Who will save you from this treacherous fate?

 

[Halla74]

Oh, you poor dear. Who will save you from this treacherous fate?

I never said I wanted to be saved. I just hope it's a cute female INFJ with a strong libido and a full checking account that corrupts me. Sorry for leaving out those details. My bad.