[ENFP] ENFP + INFJ problem... help!

[the state i am in]

strategize is the best advice. bring him into it, his perspectives will be helpful. explain how you feel and what stops you, what gets in your way, what drains you from extraverted situations. he'll see other things, take note of other possibilities, once you see those, it will improve your ability to go with the flow, be open, etc. bc you'll have better landmarks to guide you.

every infj needs some enps in their lives. it helps pry us open. some Te somewhere is really good too (which a healthy enfp will be in touch with). also, enfps are great, but you should also stay open and aware to other intuitives, especially dominant intuitives. i feel good around all intuitives, more open, more myself, but dominant intuitives especially it's like anything is possible. i don't have to hold myself back at all. anything is fair game. so harlem globetrotters. this will help you from putting so much pressure on one specific relationship, and allow both of you more space to breathe, develop, etc. if you are committed to each other and care for each other, it becomes an obvious and factual thing that can not really be ignored, something worthy of trust.

the romantic notion of my little corner of the world and a torrid love affair in a parisian hotel is great, but dominant N types need more information, stimulation, etc to stay active and engaged and always learning. need to meet new people and investigate the new at all times. "have a small plot of new land at all times," etc.

 

[penelope]

I thought I'd drop in and update (anyone who cares) that me and my ENFP were engaged 12/12/09 and plan to be married 6/13/10.

In the last 6-8 months I've personally been transitioning into an INTJ, and since becoming comfortable with that, and my ENFP and I working together to be the best couple we can be... it's been an amazing and incredibly fulfilling relationship.

 

[Uytuun]

I thought I'd drop in and update (anyone who cares) that me and my ENFP were engaged 12/12/09 and plan to be married 6/13/10.

In the last 6-8 months I've personally been transitioning into an INTJ, and since becoming comfortable with that, and my ENFP and I working together to be the best couple we can be... it's been an amazing and incredibly fulfilling relationship.

Maybe you're just developing Ti, however, if you are truly an INTJ, congratulations.

Also on your engagement.

 

[nozflubber]

congrats on engagement and my sympathies on becoming an INTJ from an INFJ..... such a waste of a good INFJ......

 

[penelope]

Haha! I can feel quite a difference. In fact, my fiance listed his favorite things about me being rational/logical/reasonable.

And thanks!

 

[violaine]

Congratulations penelope, I wondered how it had worked out for both of you.

 

[penelope]

Thank you!

 

[wedekit]

If I were in your shoes I would just let him spend time alone with his friends. It saves you from having to be social and it saves him from having to choose between you and his friends. It is important to have separate friends anyways.

If it is important to him for you to be present when he hangs out with his friends than you have lots of good advice already given to you in other posts. Pick out one of his friends you get along with and "ditch" (not in a rude way) him for a while. If I know my ENFPs then I would guess that he just wants everyone to have a good time. It just sounds like you two have developed a mutual emotional dependence (nothing wrong with that) and don't really know how to be with each other AND separate at the same time.

If you are able to find a way to become a little more independent and self-maintaining in these awkward situations then you'd probably impress him. I think independence is usually seen as an attractive quality.

Let me just add that I feel for you and am aware where you coming from and how this is challenging you. Keep us posted on how things are working otu! =)

Edit: Ugh, seems like things have already worked themselves out. This is what I get for just reading the OP. xP