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[ENFJ] What advice would you like to give the ENFJ in YOUR life? (or in your past)

Afkan

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
And please, no crap about "you shouldn't take advice from others." We all know that ENFJs are happy to give others advice about how to live their lives, so its only fair.

I would love to hear the story behind where the advice is coming from, if possible.

I am realizing that I am missing out bc few give me honest feedback, since I am so busy dishing out feedback to others.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
"Chill out and don't take it so personally."

Any time an ENFJ asks me my opinion of something they did or said, it blows up to monumental proportions. I love all of you, but you gotta learn to chill and learn to take a bit of criticism sometimes.
 

Afkan

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
Come on, I know you wanna.... and I am DYING to hear your responses!

Rules:
No one is allowed to trash anybody's pov! That includes other ENFJs. Seriously, I will kick your ass. :)
I want real, raw stuff, for those of you dying to respond. And I can totally handle it.

And if you do respond, there is nothing to fear- I will defend you 'til my death!!!! Or at least until the death of this thread.
 

Afkan

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
"Chill out and don't take it so personally."

Any time an ENFJ asks me my opinion of something they did or said, it blows up to monumental proportions. I love all of you, but you gotta learn to chill and learn to take a bit of criticism sometimes.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Thank you, Thank you.
 

Strawberrylover

New member
Joined
Jul 18, 2009
Messages
101
MBTI Type
ENFP
"Not everyone has to like you all the time."

I have an ENFJ friend who sometimes is painful to watch in social situations, especially when I know he's just as uncomfortable as I am but he's doing everything he can to make nice with people.
 

Afkan

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
"Not everyone has to like you all the time."

I have an ENFJ friend who sometimes is painful to watch in social situations, especially when I know he's just as uncomfortable as I am but he's doing everything he can to make nice with people.

Heehee. :blush:
 

Scott N Denver

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2009
Messages
2,898
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
"Just because you are all perky and excited doesn't mean that we wish to be so too. Smiling and acting like everyone should get along CAN solve some problems, but it WONT solve all problems. Not everything can be fixed by smiling and acting perky, and not everything is so simple to learn that by giving the air of being confident and friendly that we BELIEVE that you are an expert in the subject at hand. "
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
You guys ARE way too harsh on yourselves.... ease up. Sometimes I wanna whack you guys on the head... along with INFPs! :steam:
 

INTJ123

HAHHAHHAH!
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
777
MBTI Type
ESFP
Fight your own battles, this goes for the infj as well, and perhaps the other NFs but I don't know many. When it comes to confrontation or risk of physical fight, I noticed a tendency for you guys to hide behind your friends and almost "expect" someone else or your friends to jump in and save you which is rude considering we didn't have anything to do with it in the first place, fight your own battles. I can think of multiple instances where they feel threatened and come running and hiding behind me basically begging me to fight for them, and even worse if they expect me to do it, when I never agreed to such things.
 

Scott N Denver

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2009
Messages
2,898
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
"It's not all about you, and you know that anyways, so WHY do you feel that EVERYTHING you do is going to be super-analyzed by others, and further WHY do you feel that everything you do is going to set our moods. We can emotionally take care of ourselves, we are not all waiting hand and foot on your every gesture to set the collective social mood/atmosphere for us."
 

stringstheory

THIS bitch
Joined
Jul 12, 2009
Messages
923
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1
"Try listening to other people sometime. In all seriousness, you aren't always right (even if you are a lot of the time :D). Sometimes the reason people are giving you advice is to really help you, not criticize your way. No, I'm not judging you, I promise."
 

Frank

New member
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
689
stfu already. J/k. don't think I know any irl. Based on the stereotypes though that is what I would say.
 

nozflubber

DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
Joined
Mar 30, 2008
Messages
2,078
MBTI Type
Hype
To all ENFJs: make better choices please, there's still many single INTPs out there.
 

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
Go ahead and give it to me straight. Don't butter it up. I already know you mean well.
 

Afkan

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
Come on, guys!!! Don't be afraid.

You don't even have to know one irl to respond. It can totally be hypothetical. Just like good ol' Frank's responses.

BTW, a Prize for having the most BALLS goes to Jeno for responding FIRST.

I want a whole list of advice, from every responder!!! Come ON! What have you got????
 

Scott N Denver

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2009
Messages
2,898
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
To hopeful-future-ENFJ partner if I get so lucky or they get to me first before all the ENFP's: "Let's make babies!"
 

Scott N Denver

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2009
Messages
2,898
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I have no horror stories of ENFJ's to pass along. Most of my experiences have been very positive, and a few that were "ummm, okay, well we'll just move on now. So changing subjects now how about that weather outside today?"

ENFJ's :blush: :wubbie: :hug:
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
(thanks :hug:)
And since this means so much to you, I will continue. But this advice is for one specific person in my life:

You don't need my input on every single decision in your life. I hate going shopping with you because you rely so heavily on what I think, but what I'm really thinking is that you are shallow and insecure. Get your own opinion of yourself and don't worry about what I'm thinking.

Before you rush to make a judgment about someone's intentions, think it through. Just do yourself a favor and give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Not everyone has an ulterior motive. And the fact that you think everyone does makes me think that you do. And that creeps me out.

I already mentioned the criticism, but I feel it's warranted for me to say it again. Just because I give you advice (which you asked me for) and it's not exactly what you want to hear, does not give you the right to badger me to death. I am tired of you lashing out at me for hours, then actually processing what I said, only to come back later and apologize for jumping to conclusions. It would save us both a lot of grief if you didn't jump to conclusions in the first place.

When you are wrong, just admit it and move on. The world will not fall apart. But the constant justifications make me hate you. Just say sorry.

And for pete's sake, just speak up about what you want. I'm not a mind reader and I won't try. Feeling too guilty or ashamed to admit that you are a human being with needs is the most difficult part in dealing with you. So silently seethe at me and feel guilt at yourself, while I am just thinking everything is perfect. Why suffer in silence? Just tell me, or tell someone else to tell me. Or write me a friggin' note. Just, for the love of all things holy, speak up for yourself! I know you can do it because I see you speak up for everyone else all the time. Why do you put your own welfare behind those of everyone else's? I want to actually hear what you like and dislike and I want you to be happy.

Fin.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Advice to ENFJ:
Don't contend to just appealing in the masses. Don't try to go for the maximum effect in 5 seconds. Try to actually deliver the amount of "care", "interest" or whatever you're trying to portray. If it requires impression to fewer people, but making them last more, do it. Your relationships will probably be deeper and serve you better.

You tend to mostly concentrate on the social value of each person, which easily leads you to grossly underestimate everyone's intellectual and practical value. This sometimes leads you to the point where you've missed a person as non-influential, yet you see your social plan is largely dependent on that person, or greatly diminished by the loss of that person and his/her affiliates.

It's largely analogous to that ENTJ who thinks of reaching his goal with blatant disregard for social and personal considerations.

Fortunately, these descriptions don't fit most ENxJ.
 
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