[MBTI General] INFJ Compatibility - Why the INFJ/ENTP dynamic is hands down the best.

[Kenneth Almighty]

I equate being an ENTP sorta like being a virgin, you either are or you aren't. Had you said you were ENTx I wouldn't have said a word however ENTPs depending on the test will often times come out as INTPs. Reason being, if the question is "Do you feel comfortable in a large crowd?" we will answer with a yes, if it's "You require a lot of alone time?" again we answer yes, so we've given both an introverted response and an extroverted response. So if the test tries to gauge that function with too many of either type of question we test falsely as does the INFJ on their J/P function.

Sounds good. This has happened to me.

 

[infjwatching]

Wow

Wow, that was long, I wonder if a single person will read that. Oh well, it was too much effort to write not to share on here.

Wow that was a lot but very interesting and sweet. I hope you found what you were looking for, since this post was almost 3 years ago.

 

[infjwatching]

Very funny!

+ I dont think a woman, may it be enfj, infj or the holy ghost, can ever give an entp what a giant killer roboter with mobile flamethrowers and dual 250mm compressed coil guns can give him

Thank you, you gave me a good laugh!

 

[Evadne]

I can relate to Vasilisa's story very much. My boyfriend, who I presume is ENTP, and I are both very young, and I encounter those ENTP maturity issues everyday. We've been together for almost a year. However, I can't say that I enjoy it as much as I had the first month since we've been together. I love him dearly, but since we're both so young (I'm turning 20, he's turning 22 later this year), I can't help but feel lost whenever he's down, especially when it's about our relationship.

Our bad moments keep on piling up week by week. Our fights usually start from my emotional outbursts due to his laziness and shifting preoccupations, similar to that of a vagabond, as posted earlier. He gets pissed when I care too much for other people. He gets tired if I demand more from him (this is me being unhealthy though).

I still can't help but care for him when he becomes vulnerable though, so I do believe my love for him is still there. As dramatic as this may seem, he has been scarred and wounded by his past love interests. Although I wouldn't easily accept this as an excuse for misbehavior, I still cant help but feel sad for him, and try to do something to make him smile.

I just wish he pays more attention to me, or at least try to get me to come out of my shell instead of giving up without trying. Looks like he has a lot of issues now, and I cant help but think if breaking up with him will let him grow and learn more compared to staying with me.

 

[Philly Pearl]

LOL OMFG!!! Ok, to start, let me say iv been reading on and off about my personality type INFJ and i stumbled upon my match like a week ago. My match being an ENTP. Anyway, reading what you posted Samvega, it's given me an insight of an ENTP and I love it!! And as for you thinking it was to long, I thought it was well put together and it tought me plenty of the INFJ and ENTP match, which is a perfect match!! Peace

 

[Moxiest]

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right...

I have fallen in love with an INTP, and another INFJ... but never an ENTP... although, I had an ENTP friend throughout highschool, and think the pairing could be good...

I think romatically, I have a preference for INTP's...

 

[Reverie]

I didn't read all of these but did read the original post (most of it), and I thought interesting the statement that INFJ's are often confused with INFP's because they are the least orderly of the IJs. The reason it's interesting is because originally I came out as an INFJ, but the last several times I took the test I came out as an INFP. I have only taken an abbreviated version of the test (70 questions), and I've taken it several times. But I'm interested to know if my type is more consistent with that of an INFJ than that of an INFP.

I had my test come up as intp 30% of the time...but this website helped me clear it up. It's constructed blog style pre-blog era and frankly I almost wept having to go through about 60 pages...however done that I would recommend going to http://www.infjorinfp.com/ and choose from the "Navigate site here" in the top left and choose RATE YOURSELF. After I read the Ni questions list there was no more question in my mind because it was a spitting image of how my mind works and was just "home".
She also explained the E and I difference as Extroverts prefer to engage, whereas Introverts prefer to respond, which I thought was extremely discriptive.

As for this thread
I'm married to an ENTP. It was "love at first sight" or before first sight because I saw him in a dream when I was seven. Then I saw him in real life. I just thought "Well if you don't want to have the relationship of your life you best run out now." He saw me and thought to himself "That's my wife".
All the aforementioned things mentioned in this thread are spot on. Luckily he's been around the block a few times so he's had plenty'o time to woo the ladies...
and when I once lamented on how much heartache it would have saved me had I met him before he said "ohhhh...trust me you would have not liked me before.
I have no idea what he's talking about. As far as I want to know he's had as many relations with women as that guy ---->
Though we are different he is inspiring, so incredibly warmhearted, protective, loyal, loving and so much fun to be around that it makes my previous relationships seem like chinese water torture in comparison.

 

[Reverie]

Oh and I don't have to hear the old "You're too nice...how can you be so naive...You can't really believe in THAT...Don't let people walk all over you!!! Don't be so sensitive#%"&&/!!!!!" all the time like with some other less enlightened characters... I thought it was industrial grade earmuffs or the nunnery for me before he came along.

 

[Mertonchavez]

"By contrast and backing up everything else I've said. INFJs often falsely test as INFPs, because while the ENTP is the most introverted extrovert the INFJ is the least orderly J. With MBTI these are the only two anomalies like this I'm aware of."

This is true for me! I didn't realize that it was common.

 

[Winds of Thor]

Are there any INFJ's Enneagram 1w/2?

 

[octoberday]

The ENTP/INFJ dynamic is so amazing because if you look at how we look at the world it's:

Ni Fe Ti Se
Ne Ti Fe Si

Where the four dominant intuitives differer so much from other types (and why this dynamic is so interesting among the ENTP/INFJ) is our satisfaction (or mostly, lack of) in relationships due to our desire for a deep mental connection, both are looking for mind mates and both want the ideal relationship. Overall we (dominant intuitives) have the most consistent moral systems and are most likely to be disappointed if someone falls short of those moral standards. Both are very growth oriented, passionate, deep and unwilling to be in a relationship of routine that gets old and lazy in time. You do not "get", "capture", "confine", "own" or "cage" an ENTP, ENFP, INFJ or INTJ, those are the four types that pick you.

The issue with the difficulty in starting an ENTP/INFJ relationship isn't limited to one thing. First off, neither is used to being understood so there's this never ending clarification and "know what I'm saying", "if that makes sense" issue. Both are in dismay somebody else understands with such ease. However because we take different paths to the same place we'll ask things like "why'd you do that" just to understand, when explained the other person totally gets it but because we're so used to the same thing happening with a different outcome it preys on our frustration or issues of never feeling understood. Secondly the INFJ is hard to get out of their shell and the ENTP is quick to run back to theirs. The INFJ has this feeling initially that they'll never get the space they want because they see the ENTP extroverting and the ENTP swears you're not interested. The INFJ will have this constant push/pull I want it no I don't issue and have to fight to get the flood gate open. The ENTP will have this run while you still can issue and have a tough time keeping the flood gate from shutting. Both speak truly and honestly but have a tendency to try reading between the lines with the other when there's nothing there to be read. We apply our own motivations to the other persons actions which is never correct (different path to the same place) and this all takes some excellent and very open communication. These issues don't last long however so at least that's a plus. We're both a type that never really lets people in and we're both amazing at reading people so we're faced with an issue of holy shit this is going to hurt if it doesn't work so both need to want love more than the fear of having it. We're both so whole alone but together there's an overlapping of abilities that gives the other a peephole (I read that four times and kept thinking there was a missing p) into a whole different world. I can tell you right off the bat, if I (as an ENTP) had internal issues I was hiding I wouldn't even consider pursuing an INFJ until I had my head on right because I know it would be picked up on instantly.

There two things I would like to add while I'm thinking about them. I've compared the ENTP and INFJ to opposite sides of the same coin saying we're exactly the same yet totally different.

I would say the ENTP and INFJ are both the oddity of the MBTI world on the introverted and extroverted side. We don't really fit in anyplace and are the two types that most often feel quirky, misunderstood and like there is no way anybody will every accept much less understand and love how different we are.

Also, ENTPs are the slowest to mature and the INFJ is of course the quickest so I think a 5 to 10 year age difference with the ENTP being older is ideal if not essential. The downside for the INFJ maturing so quickly is because you already feel so different and alone (the ENTP does as well but being the extrovert with an over sized ego they haven't noticed it yet and is enjoying still thinking they're better than everybody else) you also don't feel like you fit in with other people your age so by the time the ENTP has matured the INFJ is feeling jaded, frustrated and starting to let go of that ideal picture of love they've always had and can find in the ENTP.

First I think what you wrote was pretty spot on as fare as what I have encountered. Second thank for posting this. It totally made me feel better. I have a few questions...

I recently met a ENTP and we hit it off... then he became reclusive... he got bombarded with an ex that is unhealthy and wants him back. I feel like we connected and that he does like me but is scared of getting hurt. His ex girlfriends have cheated on him. I could see the hurt in his eyes and tried to tell him through my eyes that I am not going to hurt him. I am unsure what to do... Do I back off and let him come to me? Or do I lightly nudge him? I feel like he is going through a lot with the ex complicating things... I feel like he did connect with me then the ex threw him for a loop and now he is confused? Oh ya we are five years apart... I am the oldest, 30 he is 25.

 

[Samvega]

I actually have A LOT of thoughts on this post and have it set aside to totally revamp as I have adjusted many of my previous thoughts which were modeled on unhealthy/repressed INFJs, something I didn't know at the time due to how few I knew.

As for your situation, I take a lot of peace in knowing the world is exactly as it should be which is something I'd suggest you do as well. So much of love really does come down to timing, I think both the INFJ and the ENTP shine their brightest after overcoming hurt, pain, depression or other adversity which it sounds like he still needs to go through. I would personally avoid any situation that involved anything that didn't just flow and feel totally natural, comfortable and most of all safe. If he has fears, I would allow him to address those issues on his own, it isn't your responsibility to make him feel safe, it's his to want love more than the fear of having it and, recognize that you are not his past. I know that isn't the answer you want to hear but I would take a few steps back from the situation, let go of any and all attachment to an outcome and let it play out as it plays out.

 

[TheRealLevin]

I'd love to meet a fantastic ENTP woman, especially after she realizes that I like her for all of the reasons that most give her static.

 

[lunalum]

Because INFJs and ENTPs are baked with 20% more awesomesauce than the leading pair, obviously.

 

[TheRealLevin]

You know, I can't argue against that. My awesomesauce is fortified with vitamins and minerals.

 

[xenaprincess]

I don't think this is a foolproof pairing. I'm sure when it works, it works, like most couples.

I have friends who are ENTPs and INFJ's and they are not necessarily close. The ENTP generally looks at the INFJ and can't understand what all the fuss is about.

 

[ChihuahuaRevolt]

I never tried to reason with her then or to bring reason back to her. I do exactly the opposite, I try to feel with her and have her back and I let her figure out what she wants for herself. I know thats prolly very mind-controlling but it gives my gf the ability to think on her own and not to be indocrinated by her strong thinking male friend. Furthermore it gives me the ability to learn alot about her and my own feelings, entering realms of perception, I never knew existed.



That bears some truth. You have to say P-ness tho, thats far more funny

I like this. What alot of people dont get about me inparticularly, is when my feelings get involed, Im going to be entirely subjective, and in a complete "feeling" mode, because that is the nature of whatever issue it may be, and the LAST thing I want at that time is for someone to try to logic away the situation or try to get me to look at it from a non-emotional standpoint. I would also like to say that I dont go crazy over every little small thing that happens, so when I do get emotional about something that happened and want to vent, I expect the other person to listen and empathize. If they cant empathize, thats fine, but if they just blow off the way Im feeling then I do get all kinds of crazy. That will unleash the beast. Its very insensitive, and guess what.....everyone has feelings and they do matter. I would like to have the right to express mine the way I see fit, so long as I am not hurting anyone else.

I also think that the same idea should go for the other side.....the dark side (the thinkers) ha
If you are going on telling me about something from an objective standpoint, Im not going to try to reason your logic away with emotions....thats insensible....in fact.....its not logical!!

Another reason it makes me angry is because even in that moment where my mind is ruled by my feelings, I have not completely thrown logic away. I can see it and recognize it, but in that moment that is not what its about. There is a time and place for everything, and if you will just let me vent and deal with whatever issue is going on at the time, it clears my head and then allows me to think calmly about the situation. Its kind of like feeling function first, thinking function second. I could be wrong about this, but I have a "thinker" friend who does the opposite. Thinking function first, feeling function second. He may look at things objectively and logically at first to deal with it, but does have some emotions about it afterwards, even though he usually doesnt show them.

I would also like to say that each side has admirable qualitites, and both sides can be taken to the extreme. In the end, its not so much about Fi/Fe or Ti/Te this.....its about two different and unique human beings coming together to understand each other better. It would be pretty stupid and immature to expect everyone else to be just like you....and if they were, what a dull grey world we would live in.


/rant over ^_^



Oh, and P-ness IS way funnier!

 

[entropie]

I like this. What alot of people dont get about me inparticularly, is when my feelings get involed, Im going to be entirely subjective, and in a complete "feeling" mode, because that is the nature of whatever issue it may be, and the LAST thing I want at that time is for someone to try to logic away the situation or try to get me to look at it from a non-emotional standpoint. I would also like to say that I dont go crazy over every little small thing that happens, so when I do get emotional about something that happened and want to vent, I expect the other person to listen and empathize. If they cant empathize, thats fine, but if they just blow off the way Im feeling then I do get all kinds of crazy. That will unleash the beast. Its very insensitive, and guess what.....everyone has feelings and they do matter. I would like to have the right to express mine the way I see fit, so long as I am not hurting anyone else.

I also think that the same idea should go for the other side.....the dark side (the thinkers) ha
If you are going on telling me about something from an objective standpoint, Im not going to try to reason your logic away with emotions....thats insensible....in fact.....its not logical!!

Another reason it makes me angry is because even in that moment where my mind is ruled by my feelings, I have not completely thrown logic away. I can see it and recognize it, but in that moment that is not what its about. There is a time and place for everything, and if you will just let me vent and deal with whatever issue is going on at the time, it clears my head and then allows me to think calmly about the situation. Its kind of like feeling function first, thinking function second. I could be wrong about this, but I have a "thinker" friend who does the opposite. Thinking function first, feeling function second. He may look at things objectively and logically at first to deal with it, but does have some emotions about it afterwards, even though he usually doesnt show them.

I would also like to say that each side has admirable qualitites, and both sides can be taken to the extreme. In the end, its not so much about Fi/Fe or Ti/Te this.....its about two different and unique human beings coming together to understand each other better. It would be pretty stupid and immature to expect everyone else to be just like you....and if they were, what a dull grey world we would live in.


/rant over ^_^



Oh, and P-ness IS way funnier!

I think one problem is that for thinkers the emotional side is actually the dark side. The reason for this is that when you are being subjective about something, you are in 99% of the cases telling how YOU fell about it. In a wider sense this could be called egoism. So in a discussion the thinker could start feeling pissed because he thinks you are being very egoistic and are seeing things only from your PoV, without an expanded imagination on how it could be for others.

In a cereful analysis this whole topic bears far more details than one might imagine on first glance. If this was a bit clearer I think many more discussions between F and T types would be better.

 

[CzeCze]

Apparently a lot of people did not think highly of this thread. I bet it was the INFPs who want to ENTPs all for themselves!! Or maybe it was the ESTPs who want the INFJs for themselves.

 

[ChihuahuaRevolt]

I think one problem is that for thinkers the emotional side is actually the dark side. The reason for this is that when you are being subjective about something, you are in 99% of the cases telling how YOU fell about it. In a wider sense this could be called egoism. So in a discussion the thinker could start feeling pissed because he thinks you are being very egoistic and are seeing things only from your PoV, without an expanded imagination on how it could be for others.

In a cereful analysis this whole topic bears far more details than one might imagine on first glance. If this was a bit clearer I think many more discussions between F and T types would be better.

Oh wow. That does make sense. My bf has told me this before basically when we have gotten into a slight argument. He has been labeled as an NF......but I really think he leads with Te/Ti (not sure which) in alot of scenerios.

I have never thought of the egoism thing. I can see where it might come off that way. This is something I will have to ponder for while.