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[INFJ] How to seduce as an INFJ?

lane777

nevermore
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
635
I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.

We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.

+1
 

1487610420

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
6,431
I can also see how an INFJs interest in a person can be misconstrued. I find myself using the same laser-like interest and focus on people I value as individuals (and as friends) that I do with men I see as potential romantic partners. I realize now this can be confusing and somewhat misleading because I'd wager most people are not accustomed to that level of attention, availability, and focus and they assume it must be a seductive maneuver. If I find a friendly target becoming a flirty target, I check myself quickly. The older I get, the more effective I am at policing myself and the persona I project.

With INFJs, the interest (maybe) precedes the valuing (maybe) precedes the romantic pursuit. Outwardly, they may all appear as the same step to the receiving party, but in our minds we are definitely at varying levels of interest. Disclaimers aside, I'd like to think that once I reach stage three (romantic pursuit mode) my "aggressive availability" becomes blatantly apparent. ;)

[However, if my blushing, excessive smiling, elaborate gestures, and vortex-like focus while he speaks still does not trigger the "light-bulb moment", I will have no compunction about marching over and sitting on his lap and planting a big one right on the kisser. Confusion and surprise at this stage are only endearing. "But wha...? Huh?" Do not ask silly questions! You have been chosen. Accede to my wishes! :waves invisible scepter: )

:happy0065::banana::worthy::sombrero::bananallama::smiley_violin::whistling::woot::banana2::thumbup::cheers:
 

durentu

New member
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
411
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Identity is by necessity contextual. You are a different person when alone, when with family, when in the bed with your lover, when with strangers. Who we are is determined in large part by who we surround ourselves with. This is not disingenuous, merely one aspect of the flux which we LABEL self.

There is really no being, only becoming. Every particle in us is in transition. Every time we eat, or void ourselves, or slough off skin or intestinal lining, we change. Everything is in motion. We are never the same person twice. Who we ARE is nothing more than a pattern of life which we have labeled for expediency. Everything is in flux.

The same applies to personality. You are, in large part, what you think about. Consequently, I am confident that if I suddenly decided to change my personality I could do so. It would take creating new habits of mind, but I think this is what personality is, merely a habit that has taken root. It seems persistent only because we string our moments into days and our days into years, but each moment consists of periodic decisions and choices about how to perceive this reality and how to act and think.

Sow a thought, reap an action
Sow an action, reap a habit
Sow a habit, reap a character
Sow a character, reap a destiny
- Charles Reade
 

Priori

New member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
100
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.

We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.


Step one: Convince them, you see them as being above that kind of behavior.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If they know about MBTI it's simple, just tell them you're an INFJ! :D
 

Winds of Thor

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
1,842
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.

We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.

Why don't we just take the high ground so far that no one reproduces. :)
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
I guess the only way I can 'seduce' is by showing people parts of my inner self that I find awesome. Then I can think of myself as awesome, and if they don't like it, well, at least I picked a safe piece to show.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
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entp
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783
I guess the only way I can 'seduce' is by showing people parts of my inner self that I find awesome. Then I can think of myself as awesome, and if they don't like it, well, at least I picked a safe piece to show.

I'm gonna buy a liver and put an extra lung from myself on top of the deal ! What you think ? :D
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
I'm gonna buy a liver and put an extra lung from myself on top of the deal ! What you think ? :D

Sorry, the liver is an important part. You can take the appendix! Maybe one of the kidneys.
 

entropie

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I am glad this thread is about seduction and not business, cause your trading skills suck bigtime :D
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
I am glad this thread is about seduction and not business, cause your trading skills suck bigtime :D

( ;) )

Oh, I forgot to tell you the Appendix was replaced with a grenade in shipping. Dont open the box! (See? Cause ENPs take 'Dont!' as 'Do!' :yes:)

Also the Kidneys were stolen for some cultist rite. You're paying shipping and handling.
 

entropie

Permabanned
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I am just learning for my exam on Tuesday about trading laws, I have signed up for as a minor and I think according to § 280 I Point 2 you tried to sell me a product that could possibly harm my life.

therefore according to § 840 III Point 1 I can have a claim for possible mental harm I could have suffered in the process.

I am gonna charge you 1 beer and according to § 433 II Point 1 "All beer transfers are ultimately !" :D
 

rhinosaur

Just a statistic
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,464
MBTI Type
INTP
I've found that deep conversations late at night and a little shameless flirting have worked.
 

DJAchtundvierzig

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2010
Messages
272
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
I like someone who is gentle, yet assertive. And is very spontaneous, I love GOOD surprises. And one thing that almost always manages to turn me off would be my partner thinking that they own me, I like to be thought of as an equal. And I feel like a little touch tells more than little words, so don't talk meaningless talk to the INFJ. We hate that. As rhinosaur said, A deep conversation can go a long way.
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Soft spoken articulate speech. Hearing words being used in standard conventions of English in a beautiful way is hot.

Getting into a deep meaningful intellectual conversation.

Listening to a piece of music together.

Dancing slowly and closely together.

Staring deeply, yet softly, into my soul.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I found talking endlessly about a topic or a core set of mutual interests does strange and magical things to their receptiveness and later their aggressiveness.
 

SecondBest

Permabanned
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Aug 12, 2010
Messages
844
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eNxp
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5/7
I've also found that a bucket of ice, a set of alligator clips, and a Barry Manilow cassette tape do strange and magical things to their receptiveness/aggressiveness, too.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
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INFP
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6w7
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I've also found that a bucket of ice, a set of alligator clips, and a Barry Manilow cassette tape do strange and magical things to their receptiveness/aggressiveness, too.

My method has a consistent positive outcome though.
 
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